The return of...Caption Competition

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  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    jjjmA.jpg
    Sheila misunderstood the Lifesaver's motto: Save the Seamen
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,314
    I tell you what Sheila, if you don't get his 4rse out of the water, you're going to pump the bloody lake dry.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,392
    Tracey found that the life guard instructor's tip to resuscitate a drowning man of 'just do what you'd do to a guy at the end of a nice date' got a few laughs from the rest of the class.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,516
    The ad written in Bulgarian & Rumanian drew lots of potential recruits for the local life savers course. Next on Dave's course was revival by pussy.
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,671
    One of the sexy bikini Zombies, draws the short straw literally, when they attack Stevo at Bromley Lido.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • arran77
    arran77 Posts: 9,260
    The girl on the right had misunderstood when the life saving instructor told them to blow for all they're worth.
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    Sheila realised that if she blew hard enough she could make Sharon fart.
  • arran77
    arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Despite her best efforts, Tracey couldn't figure out why the mouth to mouth wasn't working, it was as if the air was just being sucked out from somewhere.
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • cornerblock
    cornerblock Posts: 3,228
    Number of near drownings on local beach reaches all time high as 100 men are rescued in less than one week.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,392
    seanoconn wrote:
    One of the sexy bikini Zombies, draws the short straw literally, when they attack Stevo at Bromley Lido.
    Bromely doesn't have a Lido :wink:
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 22,152
    GiantMike wrote:
    jjjmA.jpg

    embarrassingly the older members of the bottom bracket slipped one in the wrong ring piece
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    ^^^^^

    Oi!! I didn't write that (it's not even funny :wink: )
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    The girls used 'lifeguard sign language' to warn holiday-makers about the creature that attacked the swimmer. It was either a small beaver from Hollywood or a giant bearded clam from Brazil. And it had definitely eaten fish recently.
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    The girls used 'lifeguard sign language' to warn holiday-makers about the creature that attacked the swimmer. It was probably a slimy box jellyfish or a small brown starfish. And it had definitely eaten fish recently.
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    The girls used 'lifeguard sign language' to warn holiday-makers about the creature that attacked the swimmer. It was either an annoying thrush or persistent crabs. And had definitely eaten fish recently.
  • de rien
    de rien Posts: 84
    GiantMike wrote:
    The girls used 'lifeguard sign language' to warn holiday-makers about the creature that attacked the swimmer. It was either a small beaver from Hollywood or a giant bearded clam from Brazil. And it had definitely eaten fish recently.
    GiantMike wrote:
    The girls used 'lifeguard sign language' to warn holiday-makers about the creature that attacked the swimmer. It was probably a slimy box jellyfish or a small brown starfish. And it had definitely eaten fish recently.
    GiantMike wrote:
    The girls used 'lifeguard sign language' to warn holiday-makers about the creature that attacked the swimmer. It was either a small beaver from Hollywood or a giant bearded clam from Brazil. And it had definitely eaten fish recently.

    You're taking Churchill's quote far too seriously. I should have posted a photo which included Kelly Brooke to dishearten you. :lol:
  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,930
    Lembit Opik and the Cheeky Girls get amorous on the beach and have a threesome.
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    While Luisa Zissman gently smooched the wrinkly bearded face, Leah Totton went to work at the business end. And that's how she won The Apprentice.
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 22,152
    GiantMike wrote:
    ^^^^^

    Oi!! I didn't write that (it's not even funny :wink: )

    well blow me, I've offended someone :)
  • de rien
    de rien Posts: 84
    Some witty replies and a close run contest.

    Close runner up -
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    Tracey found that the life guard instructor's tip to resuscitate a drowning man of 'just do what you'd do to a guy at the end of a nice date' got a few laughs from the rest of the class.

    The winner (oh, the irony) -
    GiantMike wrote:
    jjjmA.jpg
    Sheila misunderstood the Lifesaver's motto: Save the Seamen

    Over to GiantMike.
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 22,152
    Fix

    (ok,admit, that was the best one)
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    Oh my, what a great way to start 2014. Officially the funniest person in the world*

    * By 'world' I mean small pool of internet idiots, by 'funniest' I mean paid the most to the judge, by 'person' I mean superhero.

    Get your funnies out for this beauty. Voting on Friday sometime.

    funny-page-000017-sadlo-na-sanich.jpg

    Sorry if it's your wife/girlfriend.
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,671
    matthew h wrote:
    Fix

    (ok,admit, that was the best one)
    Nope. Right first time. Fix!
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • arran77
    arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Mrs pinarello001 is a surprise entry in the naked sledging event at the 2014 Winter Olympics.
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 22,152
    She's naked and willing to go down - what a woman
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,671
    arran77 wrote:
    Mrs pinarello001 is a surprise entry in the naked sledging event at the 2014 Winter Olympics.
    I feel like slagging this poor attempt as I'm grumpy this morning but I won't as its you arran. :wink:
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • arran77
    arran77 Posts: 9,260
    The helmet debate would linger on but the organizers of the annual Blubber Luge event at the Winter Olympics felt that the entrants in the Women's Over 150kg category were already well enough protected.
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • arran77
    arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Sales of helmets amongst winter sports enthusiasts rocketed in the wake of Michael Schumacher's accident.
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • GiantMike
    GiantMike Posts: 3,139
    seanoconn wrote:
    arran77 wrote:
    Mrs pinarello001 is a surprise entry in the naked sledging event at the 2014 Winter Olympics.
    I feel like slagging this poor attempt as I'm grumpy this morning but I won't as its you arran. :wink:

    RULE VIOLATION: Rule 5: Entrants may not comment on another entry during voting. Violations will result in immediate removal of 'man-bits', or removal of competition entries, or both, or something else.

    Nobody likes Arran not being funny, but have the class to not complain about it :wink:
  • arran77
    arran77 Posts: 9,260
    seanoconn wrote:
    arran77 wrote:
    Mrs pinarello001 is a surprise entry in the naked sledging event at the 2014 Winter Olympics.
    I feel like slagging this poor attempt as I'm grumpy this morning but I won't as its you arran. :wink:

    At least I didn't say it was Mrs seanoconn :wink:

    I could also extend this comment to GiantMike :P
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn

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