Shittest town in the UK?

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  • rolf_f
    rolf_f Posts: 16,015
    johnfinch wrote:
    Rolf F wrote:
    johnfinch wrote:
    Have to add another vote for Chatham, the town in which Strongbow is seen as posh booze. If you could invent a nuclear weapon which destroyed everything except artificial ski slopes I'd use it on this crap-fest of a town.

    It does lay claim though to the Historic Royal Navy Dockyards which are pretty special.

    Very inadequate compensation.

    Maybe - but at least there is compensation even if inadequate!
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  • Tony-J
    Tony-J Posts: 53
    This little piece of paradise, although it technically doesn't count is Washwood Heath in Birmingham. I lived in this stinking, spirit crushing, violent, bigoted, filthy, rat infested, smack head, p1ss head maggot ridden hell hole for eight months while I did a PGCE with the knife wielding foaming scumbag offspring of the disgusting inhabitants of this crack of doom. I contemplated suicide more than once, while listening to the nocturnal screams of the bloke being beaten with an iron bar in the street, or the beating of the fists of my drunk giant next door neighbor on my door as he demanded entrance to both my house and my back entrance. Never in all my life have I been in a worse place populated by the most diseased kind of scum, like a nightmare where you're drowning in a giant vat of maggots and you're unable to wake up. 6905032372_af1061b1ac_z.jpg
    washwood by tonyJenn, on Flickr
    Glen (work colleague) 'So Tony, those stars in the sky..they're not really small...they're really far away?'
    Glen:'so the Scottish, the Welch and the Irish all have their own languages..so why don't the English have their own language?'
  • shouldbeinbed
    shouldbeinbed Posts: 2,660
    DF33 wrote:
    How on earth did we forget Whitley Bay? Makes Blackpool look like Monaco.

    Also this site mentioned earlier has a top ten list;

    http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/top-10-worst ... n-england/

    I considered Titley Bay now South Parade has gone the way of scummerville but Tynemouth isn't such a bad night out, is almost connected & I'd given the seaside a pasting already.

    +1 to the bad taste on Warrington comment, 2 kids died, its not one for joking over. I'm the first to say the IRA did a good job of improving Manchester but only because we all got out in one piece (unlike my boss's car which was parked just round the back of M&S).
  • Tony-J
    Tony-J Posts: 53
    DF33 wrote:
    How on earth did we forget Whitley Bay? Makes Blackpool look like Monaco.

    Also this site mentioned earlier has a top ten list;

    http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/top-10-worst ... n-england/

    I considered Titley Bay now South Parade has gone the way of scummerville but Tynemouth isn't such a bad night out, is almost connected & I'd given the seaside a pasting already.

    +1 to the bad taste on Warrington comment, 2 kids died, its not one for joking over. I'm the first to say the IRA did a good job of improving Manchester but only because we all got out in one piece (unlike my boss's car which was parked just round the back of M&S).
    Actually when the Irish architects modified Manchester they blew up my favorite baked spud van!
    Never mind the coast...Wallsend, I'd post pics but I have at least some compassion and you can only take so much ming.
    Glen (work colleague) 'So Tony, those stars in the sky..they're not really small...they're really far away?'
    Glen:'so the Scottish, the Welch and the Irish all have their own languages..so why don't the English have their own language?'
  • Yossie
    Yossie Posts: 2,600
    Tony-J wrote:
    This little piece of paradise, although it technically doesn't count is Washwood Heath in Birmingham. I lived in this stinking, spirit crushing, violent, bigoted, filthy, rat infested, smack head, p1ss head maggot ridden hell hole for eight months while I did a PGCE with the knife wielding foaming scumbag offspring of the disgusting inhabitants of this crack of doom. I contemplated suicide more than once, while listening to the nocturnal screams of the bloke being beaten with an iron bar in the street, or the beating of the fists of my drunk giant next door neighbor on my door as he demanded entrance to both my house and my back entrance. Never in all my life have I been in a worse place populated by the most diseased kind of scum, like a nightmare where you're drowning in a giant vat of maggots and you're unable to wake up. 6905032372_af1061b1ac_z.jpg
    washwood by tonyJenn, on Flickr

    Looks/sounds like Alsager on a very, very, very good day. Of which there are none because its an unbelievable shyyte hole - veritable miasma of putrid evil month old diarrhoea (sic)

    As an aside, an interesting point to be made about Alsager is that Oxford and Cambridge Univerisities did a survery there once: something to do with small towns in the UK and how they formed a part of the UK overall and they found 86.45% of the population were c^nts. The remainder were just paedophile rapists.

    And that's oficial figures, so they can't be argued with I'm afraid.
  • roypsb
    roypsb Posts: 309
    I'd like to put Croydon up for that award!

    Having lived there for most of my life I can confirm its pretty shitty! I have managed to get away but still work there :(
    Thanks

    Yep, Croydon gets my vote too. Worked there for 6 months. The roads were littered with chicken bones from the multitude of fast food outlets that the local seem to live on. From 15:30 onwards, the streets were running with feral gangs of school children / youths. An absolute craphole.

    Closely followed by Luton.
  • Tony-J
    Tony-J Posts: 53
    Yossie wrote:

    Looks/sounds like Alsager on a very, very, very good day. Of which there are none because its an unbelievable shyyte hole - veritable miasma of putrid evil month old diarrhoea (sic)

    As an aside, an interesting point to be made about Alsager is that Oxford and Cambridge Univerisities did a survery there once: something to do with small towns in the UK and how they formed a part of the UK overall and they found 86.45% of the population were c^nts. The remainder were just paedophile rapists.

    And that's oficial figures, so they can't be argued with I'm afraid.
    Sweet :D I Googled Alsager and it does indeed look like this. I wonder if I could buy food or get my hair cut there? I couldn't in Washwood Heath on account of being white. I was teaching their children and their parents would not serve me. I loved the day I left. I must add this is an observation from experience sadly, not repeated in any of the other places I've lived.
    Glen (work colleague) 'So Tony, those stars in the sky..they're not really small...they're really far away?'
    Glen:'so the Scottish, the Welch and the Irish all have their own languages..so why don't the English have their own language?'
  • nickel
    nickel Posts: 476
    As the South West is very underrepresented in this thread I would like to nominate Bridgwater, a true sh1thole of a town and indeed the worst town in the westcountry. For another crappy Somerset town look no further than Langport, not completely awful by any means but just a dump in which someone seems to have forgotten to build a town centre. I've got to say Plymouth is pretty bloody dire as well.
  • Bobbinogs
    Bobbinogs Posts: 4,841
    Ah yes, Bridgwater. How can one forget just how crap that town is. I somehow miss the acrid and nauseous cellophane smell that the place used to reek of, seemed to sum it up in so many ways.
  • Peddle Up!
    Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    Bobbinogs wrote:
    Ah yes, Bridgwater. How can one forget just how crap that town is. I somehow miss the acrid and nauseous cellophane smell that the place used to reek of, seemed to sum it up in so many ways.

    Smellophane! That brings back memories. I worked there briefly as a contractor and couldn't get the smell out of my nostrils for weeks. Er, I seem to have wandered into another thread. :roll:
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • LOCKER
    LOCKER Posts: 17
    Tony-J wrote:
    This little piece of paradise, although it technically doesn't count is Washwood Heath in Birmingham. I lived in this stinking, spirit crushing, violent, bigoted, filthy, rat infested, smack head, p1ss head maggot ridden hell hole for eight months while I did a PGCE with the knife wielding foaming scumbag offspring of the disgusting inhabitants of this crack of doom. I contemplated suicide more than once, while listening to the nocturnal screams of the bloke being beaten with an iron bar in the street, or the beating of the fists of my drunk giant next door neighbor on my door as he demanded entrance to both my house and my back entrance. Never in all my life have I been in a worse place populated by the most diseased kind of scum, like a nightmare where you're drowning in a giant vat of maggots and you're unable to wake up. 6905032372_af1061b1ac_z.jpg
    washwood by tonyJenn, on Flickr

    As someone who is is familiar with this area may I be bold enough to suggest that the photo was taken at 9.30 on a Monday morning 5 minutes after the bin men and road sweeper had been through, as Tony J quite rightly put this place is right up there in the shithole stakes.
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  • Peddle Up! wrote:
    mattshrops wrote:
    As a self confessed northern maaaankey wot abaat Laandaaan?

    Good point. There are some very nice parts of London, of course, but these days it tends to leave me with the impression of being a grubby gangsters' paradise. :(

    Well - there's a few nice (albeit small) parks and the odd open space in London and that's about it really.

    My S-I-L has two properties there worth over £2m for the two and she bangs on about how wonderful it is - last time we went down we ended up with an asthmatic wheeze and had breakfast on an expensive steel and glass balcony listening to the roar of jets as they ruffled our hair. Wonderful - anyone who pays that sort of money to live there is a chump of the first magnitude.

    I defected from the stinking noisy doss-hole 15 years back and only go back to visit family on the odd occasion and under protest.

    Produces a goodly amount of money for the country though and of course it houses Stamford Bridge so some redeeming features there.
  • napoleond
    napoleond Posts: 5,992
    I rode through Alsager today. I won't do it again.
    Amazingly though the bike shop there sells, amongst other niche brands, Independant Fabrication. I say shop, it's an end terrace.
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  • ohara227
    ohara227 Posts: 225
    edited April 2012
    I worked a lot on the East Coast and stayed away a lot, really didnt like Sunderland for some reason.
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  • symo
    symo Posts: 1,743
    Has Barrow-in-Furness come up yet?

    Had the pleasure of having my second site office there, my site manager cleverly announced he was going over to rent in Ulswater, glad he did as I had a decent house to crash at then.
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  • hodge68
    hodge68 Posts: 162
    Proud as i am of the history of the Black country, thats all that remains History. Its towns/high streets are run down, vanderlised, litter covered, chav infested and if your looking for some where to drink your can of special brew and smoke your gear while looking out onto charity shops, you are spoilt for choice. Up there with the best of them has to be BRIERLY HILL .
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  • napoleond
    napoleond Posts: 5,992
    Hang on, I can't believe I've not mentioned Winsford. Probably because I always try and blank it from my mind and refuse to cycle any where near there as it sucks the life out of me.
    Designated a 'new town' a massive sink estate was built for first some Manchester then many more Liverpool 'social' overspill in the 70s. Also loads of industrial units. It really is the arsehole of cheshire.
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  • Yossie
    Yossie Posts: 2,600
    NapoleonD wrote:
    I rode through Alsager today. I won't do it again.
    Amazingly though the bike shop there sells, amongst other niche brands, Independant Fabrication. I say shop, it's an end terrace.


    Its not actually a bicycle shop - its a front for a c4nt ring. The whole terrace is filled with them. C4nts that is, not houses. But them as well. The whole town in fact.

    Bizarrely enough, the Ivy League Universities did a survey of Alsager once (they wanted to see if was worth massively investing into rural English towns to further the agricultural side of academic collaboration but their findings showed that the only thing that could be classed as agricultural behaviour in Alsager was that 98% of the local population has had sex with a farmyard animal on at least 24 occassions.

    And thats official figures, so can't be argued wth I am afraid.
  • cruiser33
    cruiser33 Posts: 464
    Margate - And not just in the UK!! (Herne Bay a VERY close 2nd)
  • Ron Stuart
    Ron Stuart Posts: 1,242
    Would it be quicker to name the nice towns and sound a bit more positive :?:

    Doh! That wouldn't be as much fun though would it :?:

    Shall I start with my nearby town as a new Topic :?:

    Bet the topic wouldn't get as many replies as this thread :lol:
  • TheStone
    TheStone Posts: 2,291
    An area of London rather than a town, but can I nominate Kilburn? Horrid place.

    Nearly all the areas surrounding it have moved up a lot, but Kilburn's got even worse and it was rubbish to start with.
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  • Redhog14
    Redhog14 Posts: 1,377
    In England Stoke on Trent and Middlesbrough gave me the biggest shocks, went to Stoke on my way to Stratford to buy something nice in the potteries, got lost in the town centre and very pissed off/depressed.

    In my homeland I would wish to mention: Falkirk, Alloa, Kirkcaldy, Dundee, Stirling, Airdire, Ayr (almost all of Ayshire in fact). Truth is we need Shittowns to keep nicetowns going.
  • MattC59
    MattC59 Posts: 5,408
    Bracknell. Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
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  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    MattC59 wrote:
    Bracknell. Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

    I was ignorant of Bracknell until your post, but I've just done an image search - the ugliness of that place is now stuck in my mind forever.
  • jordan_217
    jordan_217 Posts: 2,580
    MattC59 wrote:
    Bracknell. Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

    We have an office in Bracknell. I HATE the place.
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  • rolf_f
    rolf_f Posts: 16,015
    Redhog14 wrote:
    In England Stoke on Trent and Middlesbrough gave me the biggest shocks, went to Stoke on my way to Stratford to buy something nice in the potteries, got lost in the town centre and very pissed off/depressed.

    In my homeland I would wish to mention: Falkirk, Alloa, Kirkcaldy, Dundee, Stirling, Airdire, Ayr (almost all of Ayshire in fact). Truth is we need Shittowns to keep nicetowns going.

    Plenty I found to like in both Dundee and Stirling. If that's the best you can manage then Scotland isn't really that sh1t. :D

    Of course, where the Scots do excel is cruddy inner city slums......
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  • il_principe
    il_principe Posts: 9,155
    TheStone wrote:
    An area of London rather than a town, but can I nominate Kilburn? Horrid place.

    Nearly all the areas surrounding it have moved up a lot, but Kilburn's got even worse and it was rubbish to start with.

    Nope, sorry but Kilburn has one redeeming feature - Spicy Basil. The best Thai food in London.

    I'd like to add Hastings and Camber to this list. Camber truly is the ar$ehole of Kent.
  • TheStone
    TheStone Posts: 2,291
    Nope, sorry but Kilburn has one redeeming feature - Spicy Basil. The best Thai food in London.

    Just endless chicken shops last time I lived there.
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  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    TheStone wrote:
    Nope, sorry but Kilburn has one redeeming feature - Spicy Basil. The best Thai food in London.

    Just endless chicken shops last time I lived there.

    Any bucket shops?
  • [/quote]Of course, where the Scots do excel is cruddy inner city slums......[/quote]

    Agree with the above! Some of the areas in Glasgow are really bad, life expectancies in some of these areas is just 54 for a man! However, if I had to live in these areas I think that would feel about 53 years 364 days too long...
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