Shittest town in the UK?

graeme_s-2

Tamworth. I was brought up there and would have gladly moved to any of the towns listed so far. It's a total hovel. There was outrage in the local rag recently because the closed the McDonald's in the town centre. The locals viewed it as a destination store that brought in trade!

alihisgreat

Peterborough

Also this: http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/ some of the 'reviews' are hilarious.

Anonymous

campbellrae1 wrote:

Plenty of total sh!te holes in Scotland, Kilbirnie in North Ayrshire would be high up on my list of places to avoid. As mentioned above Cumbernauld is a dump, same as Motherwell, Coatbridge, Livingston and most of Glasgow!

Ha, my Dad and a lot of my family are from kilbirnie, hard place.

I vote Chatham.

upperoilcan

High Wycombe

Without question the shittiest town i have ever had the misfortune of visiting...(Daily basis as i have to work there)

Not only is the town as dull as dish water the people are very strange,We have often wondered if there was some kind of experiment carried out here in the 60's because you cant get that many weirdo's in one area,and by weirdo's i dont mean the resident drunks/Junkies.

Not only does it have a pound shop next to an Iceland there is also a 99p shop directly opposite competing for business...

rolf_f

Tony-J wrote:

Hull is graced by one of the best art galleries in the country: Ferens Art gallery, a saving grace. There is or was a cocoa mill and a fish meal processing plant within smelling range of the centre.

The Needlers sweet factory? A lovely old mill that looked like a bit of Manchester had come to the East coast. And very strange that a building that looked like that would smell of boiled sweets!

The moronic town planners allowed it to be demolished and replaced with a load of crap houses about 10 years ago.

And there is now a hideous new shopping centre just North of the Railway station. Still, it's nowhere near as bad as Swindon........

team47b

Could I nominate Albufeira, Portugal, as an honorary UK town, yes I know it's a bit far south to be included, but it appears to be full of people from most of the towns mentioned here!

BiggerBoat

Crewe.
That is all, consider this thread done.

craker

vitesse169 wrote:

Dursley - J K Rowling named the nasty family in HP after the shoothole - well done if I may say.....!

Dursley may be a bit dreary but it's in the Cotswolds. Prince Charles lives not too far away.

Anway JK Rowling grew up the the Forest of Dean. They're a bit strange over there.

Yossie

Alsager, Stoke on Trent: Absolute hell hole of nothingness populated by half witted inbreds who think that they are something special. Its an awful haven of chavs, Daily Mail readers, and brainless plebs who despise anything or anyone that isn't from Alsager.

There is absolutely nothing to do in or outside of the town and these people seem proud of it. There is no architecture of any purpose, no shops, no history behind the town, no culture (in fact anything cerebral and deemed as cultural is actively protested against), no decent restaurants or pubs or anything. It's a funkin' hell hole dive of the lowest order. No local sports clubs, no cinema, no theatre, no arts centre, nothing. I'd actually be surprised if the library was still open. Nothing of note or worth has ever happened there before and I will wager all my bikes, my record collection and my children that nothing of worth will ever happen there.

It's an awful shyyyt hole of characterless hell based around a piddly little puddle in the middle where chavs congregate to impregnate each with the foul bile like fluid that emanates from their pox ridden nether regions and old men go to spank off over Razzle and school girls- the same under age slappers who believe that they are all Cheryl Cole but more like Jo Brand (and who will all be pregnant by the time they are 15 anyway and sponging off society).

Darlings - wake up - you're all slappers and you'll never pull a footballer. The closest you'll get to that is getting impregnated by some chav with a grade 1 at the back and sides and a grade 3 on top with 4 earrings, crap tats and a mismatched tracksuit on a football pitch.

Please can we run a petition to have it sunk?

One of life's great regrets is why the Germans didn't bomb it in the war. Although it has a bomb factory there that must have been quite handy at the time, I'm sure that Churchill, once he was briefed on what it was like, would have just lit a cigar and said something along the lines of "well, no great loss there then".

Trust me, I've been in some awful, awful, awful places in my time but Alsager wins the competition - hands down. I spent some time in the chemical zone outside of Bombay (where the chemical factories are, people living in cardboard boxes amongst muck and slowly dying members of their family, dead dogs floating down chemical factory waste ridden rivers - the saddest indictment of Third World exploitation that you'll ever see - heart breaking really) and it was better than Alsager. By miles.

Pross

NapoleonD wrote:

Blaenau.
Cwmbran.
Newport.
S-O-T.

Cwmbran's not so bad - plenty worse in this area. I assume you mean Blaina or are you just lumping the whole of Blaenau Gwent in one (which is a fair shout)?

I can only assume not many of you have had the misfortune to have visited Corby or it would surely be number 1 on everyone's lists. Honourable mentions go to Merthyr, Hull and Stoke plus Newport which I have the misfortune as being my postal town although luckily my village is protected from the main city by a river!

BelgianBeerGeek

Can't believe no-one's mentioned Southampton yet. I have no idea why people choose to live there.

BelgianBeerGeek

Yossie wrote:

Alsager, Stoke on Trent: Absolute hell hole of nothingness populated by half witted inbreds who think that they are something special. Its an awful haven of chavs, Daily Mail readers, and brainless plebs who despise anything or anyone that isn't from Alsager.

There is absolutely nothing to do in or outside of the town and these people seem proud of it. There is no architecture of any purpose, no shops, no history behind the town, no culture (in fact anything cerebral and deemed as cultural is actively protested against), no decent restaurants or pubs or anything. It's a funkin' hell hole dive of the lowest order. No local sports clubs, no cinema, no theatre, no arts centre, nothing. I'd actually be surprised if the library was still open. Nothing of note or worth has ever happened there before and I will wager all my bikes, my record collection and my children that nothing of worth will ever happen there.

It's an awful shyyyt hole of characterless hell based around a piddly little puddle in the middle where chavs congregate to impregnate each with the foul bile like fluid that emanates from their pox ridden nether regions and old men go to spank off over Razzle and school girls- the same under age slappers who believe that they are all Cheryl Cole but more like Jo Brand (and who will all be pregnant by the time they are 15 anyway and sponging off society).

Darlings - wake up - you're all slappers and you'll never pull a footballer. The closest you'll get to that is getting impregnated by some chav with a grade 1 at the back and sides and a grade 3 on top with 4 earrings, crap tats and a mismatched tracksuit on a football pitch.

Please can we run a petition to have it sunk?

One of life's great regrets is why the Germans didn't bomb it in the war. Although it has a bomb factory there that must have been quite handy at the time, I'm sure that Churchill, once he was briefed on what it was like, would have just lit a cigar and said something along the lines of "well, no great loss there then".

Trust me, I've been in some awful, awful, awful places in my time but Alsager wins the competition - hands down. I spent some time in the chemical zone outside of Bombay (where the chemical factories are, people living in cardboard boxes amongst muck and slowly dying members of their family, dead dogs floating down chemical factory waste ridden rivers - the saddest indictment of Third World exploitation that you'll ever see - heart breaking really) and it was better than Alsager. By miles.

As a Staffordshire lad currently living on the South Coast this made me laugh more than I have done in ages.

schweiz

Well I was born in Oldham, went to Uni just outside Swindon and my first 'proper' job was between Preston and Blackpool.

I go back 'home' a couple of times a year. Oldham town centre is a dump. Preston was described as being full of pound shops and pawn shops and this applies to Oldham too. There used to be some good shopping in Oldham even though the council planners build the centre at the coldest, windiest spot furthest away from the train station but now it's just a $hithole! The only thing in its favour is the proximity to the Peak District.

Swindon always was a $hithole and I can't imagine it's got any better. The only thing in it's favour way its proximity to the M4 and the M5 so you could get the hell out of there.

Preston - I don't remember it being that bad however I can imagine it going the same was as Oldham has and if so I can imagine it is also a dump!

Blackpool is, unfortunately, the worst of the lot though. It has the same problems as other deprived towns and then tourists from those other deprived towns flock there and make it worse! I took Mrs. Schweiz to see t'illuminations a few years back! They were $hittier than I remembered and 95% of t'illuminations were exactly the same as they were 25-30 years ago!

I'm glad I escaped when I did!

symo

Good to see Ilson mentioned (Ilkeston) as well as Heanor and by the extension perhaps also Langley Mill.
Ilkeston is a quite sad town really, it was once an industrial power house with the Stanton and Stavely works producing many of the manhole covers around the UK and worldwide, now it is full of Racist scum who despise most forms of culture that do not involve going to the pub or having a fight.

The same can be said also of Heanor which makes the towns local rivalries quite amusing.

Quite depressing really, the whole area needs regeneration and I don't mean the usual political will of a retail park, it needs some breaks for a some industry/manufacturing to get going again. Irony is there is still a large skills pool for machining around there, and lest we forget where Raleigh's top secret Special Products division was located. If I were a forward thinking UK based bike brand who could get the finance together I would be setting up round there like a shot, as there are still people who can weld Ti to aerospace standards.

Lived in Huddersfield, you think it's bad, go spend a week in the forgotten Derbyshire towns. Croydon is just messed up with bad planning and a lack of aggressive policing.

Cleat Eastwood

my top of the bottoms would be

1. Bradford - went there for a meeting once - sadly the meeting wasnt 'on what date should we level this sh1thole to the ground'

2. Birkenhead. - Its like the inhabitants have found a secret portal back to the swamp.

3. Skem - The place was a doodle on a town planners pad that somehow made it to stage 2.

4. Crewe/Alsager - went for an interview for a uni place - based on an old miltiary/muntions site - if that place would have gone up it would have caused 200,000 pounds worth of improvements.

5. Warrington - when you rely on the IRA to alter the place, you know you're in trouble.

6. Runcorn/Widnes - as if the accents weren't bad enough.

Pross

RichN95 wrote:

afx237vi wrote:

Port Talbot. Lovely looking place.

I'd let them off due to their remarkable contribution to acting (Burton, Hopkins, Sheen) and when you drive past it at night on the M4 it reminds you of the opening of Bladerunner. Utter tip though.

(Bizarrely, I've managed to get my post at the top of pages 2,3 and 4. Not on purpose, I assure you).

It even has it's own weather system - you can drive right along the M4 corridor through South Wales in bright sunshine but the stretch from a mile either side of Port Talbot will be overcast and often raining. I can understand that all the cr*p from the steelworks is partly to blame but the rain is strange!

Some horrendous places up all the valleys, the signs of heavy industry have been landscaped over and the countryside looks the best it has in hundreds of years but the towns are getting worse. North Wales seems to have escaped so far so I'm going to throw in a few - Colwyn Bay, Mold, basically anywhere along the route of the railway line along the coast plus Cefn Mawr in Wrexham where I have spent far too much time in the last 12 months! Can't believe I also forgot Skegness previously, it must be my brain trying to forget the place!

Cleat Eastwood

oh and Rhyl.

postman

Bradford no more to be said.

Cleat Eastwood

oh and a place called Coalville, i think, just outside of leicester.

jgsi

to be fair about Alsager, the roads are sh1t as they dig them up every 5 minutes for no reason at all, the inhabitants are just plain weird.. oh knobhead solicitor is based there cocking up evrything under the sun as regards some family business (but I keep out of it by riding my bike, so nothing to do with me)

jordan_217

RichN95 wrote:

afx237vi wrote:

Port Talbot. Lovely looking place.

I'd let them off due to their remarkable contribution to acting (Burton, Hopkins, Sheen) and when you drive past it at night on the M4 it reminds you of the opening of Bladerunner......

Ridley Scott based the landscapes in Bladerunner on Teesside/Southbank/Teesport (Middlesbrough), close to where he grew up. Stand on Eston Nab at sunset and you'd swear you were looking at the Bladerunner set.

CHRISNOIR

shouldbeinbed wrote:

Rochdale has some awful grim bits.

'Some'? It's about 95% awful grim . On one of my regular rides I'm actually quite relieved to see the hill of Edenfield Road as it means I'm leaving Rochdale. Ironically the usual destination of this ride is sh*t-town-thread-regular Preston. My girlfiend lives there and in six years we've still been unable to find a decent restaurant and only a handful of decent pubs. Its saving grace is its proximity to far nicer places.

vitesse169

craker wrote:

vitesse169 wrote:

Dursley - J K Rowling named the nasty family in HP after the shoothole - well done if I may say.....!

Dursley may be a bit dreary but it's in the Cotswolds. Prince Charles lives not too far away.

Anway JK Rowling grew up the the Forest of Dean. They're a bit strange over there.

I beg to differ - Dursley is the dung heap at the edge of the very picturesque Cotswolds - 75% of inhabitants of which are chavs/turdbags/scagheads/neds/miscreants/na'erdo-wells all in equal proportions. The remainder are quite nice people...

Yossie

JGSI wrote:

to be fair about Alsager, the roads are sh1t as they dig them up every 5 minutes for no reason at all, the inhabitants are just plain weird.. oh knobhead solicitor is based there cocking up evrything under the sun as regards some family business (but I keep out of it by riding my bike, so nothing to do with me)

No - sorry - there is nothing to be fair to Alsager about at all.

It's populated by half witted, racist, bigoted, BNP card waving chav paedophiles who have never, ever contributed anything to the human race except hatred, vileness and a dislike of anything that isn't from the aforementioned effluent of Mordor. It is an awful dump that needs to be disposed of. Thinking about it, I'm not even going to restrict the use of the term paedophile to the chavs - blanket use it across the whole town.

The central point of the hell hole is the local Kwik Save where they take glee in selling underpriced under nourishing food and cheap beer to the local population.

Its an awful dump of nothingness - it is an insult to the human race and civilisation as a whole. If, millennia ago you could look in a crystal ball and see Alsager today, then I'm sure the Romans and Greeks wouldn't have bothered.

They even took the MMU campus away because they realised that none of the local population would ever go because they are too stupid to write their own names and appreciate the fact that having a local MMU campus in your town is actuially quite useful for additional income (both State funded and student driven) into the town as well as providing a sense of diversity within a shyyyty rural hell hole of foul smelling sewage infested scum. And bear in mind that it was meant to be a very good sports college at that, ranking up there with Loughborough etc on the testing and sports team results front then that is a bit of a loss.

It is a town full of idiots. They do not have a village fool - it is a large collective of the same all fighting each other to show that they the Lord of the Idiots ( © George Constanza).

They constantly dig up the roads because they hope one day to find the town brain. So far they have been unsuccesful. The roadworks don't seem to stop the local boy racers constantly driving their cr5p cars far too fast around the town. Hopefully they will all soon crash into each other, die in horrible painful ways, and raise the general IQ of the region by 10,0000%.

Morons, the lot of them. And there isn't anything worse that a moron in a hell hole.

Anonymous

I forgot Morcambe. Its crap. I'd rather slam my dick in a car door than go back to Morcambe.

Bobbinogs

Swindon gets my vote, nice and simple, although Nottingham runs it a close second.

One town (city) that I found to be surprisingly crap was Exeter. I worked there for a bit and never could get used to it. I suspect it was all rather nice before the air raids in the forties but it ain't half rubbish now. Oh, and Plymouth whilst I think about it, same reasons as Exeter.

Peddle Up!

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

oh and Rhyl.

+1. I went to Rhyl when I was 14 and was sick on arrival. Really.

y33stu

+1 to Middlesbrough. God awful place. Nothing of note is any good there. Oh, wait, they do have the largest Petrochemical manufacturing site in Eurpoe on the door step polluting their lungs and their rivers. I also love the fact that its a city in effect without a proper county, as the local council made a right mess of that. Is it Teesside, is it Cleveland, is it Tees Valley?? No, its just awful. Stay away. Forever.

morstar

I went to college in Alsager 20 years ago but never developed true contempt for the place.
The fact that we (college people) were clearly not very welcome in the town meant that you simply lived solely on campus or travelled elsewhere for whatever activity you were partaking in.
I suppose the fact that the way to avoid having complete contempt was to simply not go into the town in which you were resident kind of lends some support to Yossies argument.
My personal list would include, Bradford and Rhyl. I regularly work in Bradford and have a deep dislike of the place but Rhyl I do not know well. I just saw enough in 30 mins last year to know it was a place in dire need of help.

alanp23

Of those on this list that I know, I dont think I can argue with any of them.
(particular nods to Bradford, Wakefield, Swindon and Newport)

Are there any towns that are actually worth visiting or is that too far off-topic?