Yeeha and Sheeps advice corner

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    Aggieboy, I realise you may have strong feelings of inadequacy, and rightly so. However, You have to realise that there are people who have, and people who have not. We, happen to have our own thread. You, happen to NOT.
    Now, as frustrating as that may be, what you ultimately need to do, is just realise that not only are you a lesser human being for it, but that nobody wants to hear your opinions. On anything. Ever.
    Chiming in and trying to give your own voice when you weren't asked, is sadly, one of the most pathetic choices you could make. So I suggest before you dig an even deeper hole for yourself, that you just walk away, like the sad, pathetic, unwanted waste of space that you are.
    You've already made yourself look a grade A prat. There's no undoing that. But you can at least redeem yourself by stopping before you bring embarrasment to any future generations of your your family. Do you really want people hundreds of years down the line, still taking the piss out of you because you were such a cuntnugget? Or would you rather just fade away into the background quietly, with the tatters of your dignity?
  • Aggieboy
    Aggieboy Posts: 3,996
    yeehaamcgee wrote:
    Aggieboy, I realise you may have strong feelings of inadequacy, and rightly so. However, You have to realise that there are people who have, and people who have not. We, happen to have our own thread. You, happen to NOT.
    Now, as frustrating as that may be, what you ultimately need to do, is just realise that not only are you a lesser human being for it, but that nobody wants to hear your opinions. On anything. Ever.
    Chiming in and trying to give your own voice when you weren't asked, is sadly, one of the most pathetic choices you could make. So I suggest before you dig an even deeper hole for yourself, that you just walk away, like the sad, pathetic, unwanted waste of space that you are.
    You've already made yourself look a grade A prat. There's no undoing that. But you can at least redeem yourself by stopping before you bring embarrasment to any future generations of your your family. Do you really want people hundreds of years down the line, still taking the wee-wee out of you because you were such a cuntnugget? Or would you rather just fade away into the background quietly, with the tatters of your dignity?

    evarky.gif
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • sheepsteeth
    sheepsteeth Posts: 17,418
    if im honest, i think yeehaas response was better
    Harry von Big Sticks
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    :roll:
    You realise that whilst you object to our having our own thread, you are actually contrubuting to it going on and on and on and on and on and on, right?

    What a complete, and utter Jeb ended, spunk sucking spactard :lol:





    Also, does that guy in the GIF have a perfectly rectangular head? I'm sure my maths teacher would be astounded at such geometric precision.
  • montevideoguy
    montevideoguy Posts: 2,271
    I have missed this. Some folk don't seen to understand it though.

    Here's my problem. My left knee is currently twice the size due to nasty challenge in football. How do I fix this up so I can get back to the bike/football as soon as?
    Formally known as Coatbridgeguy
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    Bike football sounds amazing fun. However, I see that having such a large knee would cause issues as players confuse it for a football, and kick it.

    I'd try two things. Firt of all, jab a biro in it, and see if the "making it big stuff" comes out, and makes it not be big.
    If that fails, then just paint it orange, with black stripes, like a basketball, and adittionally paint "THIS IS NOT A FOOTBALL" on it. Then nobody should kick it by mistake.
  • Aggieboy
    Aggieboy Posts: 3,996
    yeehaamcgee wrote:
    :roll:
    You realise that whilst you object to our having our own thread, you are actually contrubuting to it going on and on and on and on and on and on, right?

    What a complete, and utter Jeb ended, spunk sucking spactard :lol:





    Also, does that guy in the GIF have a perfectly rectangular head? I'm sure my maths teacher would be astounded at such geometric precision    .

    No, that's a window.
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • montevideoguy
    montevideoguy Posts: 2,271
    yeehaamcgee wrote:
    Bike football sounds amazing fun. However, I see that having such a large knee would cause issues as players confuse it for a football, and kick it.

    I'd try two things. Firt of all, jab a biro in it, and see if the "making it big stuff" comes out, and makes it not be big.
    If that fails, then just paint it orange, with black stripes, like a basketball, and adittionally paint "THIS IS NOT A FOOTBALL" on it. Then nobody should kick it by mistake.


    The "hiding in plain sight" trick. Tried jabbing it to see if fluid came out. just hurt like the proverbial. I need to get orange paint
    Formally known as Coatbridgeguy
  • sheepsteeth
    sheepsteeth Posts: 17,418
    Montevideoguy wrote:


    The "hiding in plain sight" trick. Tried jabbing it to see if fluid came out. just hurt like the proverbial. I need to get orange paint

    you could try the back door method to get to the stuff that i making your knee expand, nstead o going in though the ski (which is too painfull for you) go in via your anus, it takes some jiggling about to get the needle all the way down there but it is possibly.
    Harry von Big Sticks
  • montevideoguy
    montevideoguy Posts: 2,271
    I've only ever had a woman's finger up my anus...I'm not for sticking anything else up there
    Formally known as Coatbridgeguy
  • getonyourbike
    getonyourbike Posts: 2,648
    OK, I'm quite pissed off. What advice can you gods give me about dealing with these people/companies?

    1. Elderly women hit me, her in the car, me on the bike
    2. Insurance company that will obviously take ages to pay up
    3. Hellfrauds who didn't have the mech hanger they said they had
    4. Topeak
    5. Oakley
    6. CRC
  • sheepsteeth
    sheepsteeth Posts: 17,418
    you should give them all option 1

    option 1 is to leave them all a ditch with their heads pointing backwards.
    Harry von Big Sticks
  • getonyourbike
    getonyourbike Posts: 2,648
    sheepsteeth wrote:
    you should give them all option 1

    option 1 is to leave them all a ditch with their heads pointing backwards.
    how do i leave a company in a ditch with its head on backwards?
  • sheepsteeth
    sheepsteeth Posts: 17,418
    getonyourbike wrote:
    sheepsteeth wrote:
    you should give them all option 1

    option 1 is to leave them all a ditch with their heads pointing backwards.
    how do i leave a company in a ditch with its head on backwards?

    the same way you get to carnegie hall.
    Harry von Big Sticks
  • getonyourbike
    getonyourbike Posts: 2,648
    sheepsteeth wrote:
    getonyourbike wrote:
    sheepsteeth wrote:
    you should give them all option 1

    option 1 is to leave them all a ditch with their heads pointing backwards.
    how do i leave a company in a ditch with its head on backwards?

    the same way you get to carnegie hall.
    :?
  • sheepsteeth
    sheepsteeth Posts: 17,418
    hey, you asked, i told.

    in the famous words of bricktop:

    "if i throw a dog a bone, i dont want to know how it tastes,.stop me when im walking again and i'll cut your jacobs off"
    Harry von Big Sticks
  • Fully-sprung
    Fully-sprung Posts: 670
    yeehaamcgee wrote:
    Aggieboy, I realise you may have strong feelings of inadequacy, and rightly so. However, You have to realise that there are people who have, and people who have not. We, happen to have our own thread. You, happen to NOT.
    Now, as frustrating as that may be, what you ultimately need to do, is just realise that not only are you a lesser human being for it, but that nobody wants to hear your opinions. On anything. Ever.
    Chiming in and trying to give your own voice when you weren't asked, is sadly, one of the most pathetic choices you could make. So I suggest before you dig an even deeper hole for yourself, that you just walk away, like the sad, pathetic, unwanted waste of space that you are.
    You've already made yourself look a grade A prat. There's no undoing that. But you can at least redeem yourself by stopping before you bring embarrasment to any future generations of your your family. Do you really want people hundreds of years down the line, still taking the wee-wee out of you because you were such a cuntnugget? Or would you rather just fade away into the background quietly, with the tatters of your dignity?
    I have the dustcap thread!
    "Youth's a mask, but it don't last
    live it long and live it fast."
    My dustcap topic:
    http://www.bikeradar.com/mtb/forum/view ... &highlight
  • Muttly1981
    Muttly1981 Posts: 815
    What is the correct way to reply to a female(ish) on a night out when she say's "ello love who's gonna be the lucky lady tonight then?" because a reply of "not you fatty" doesn't get a favorable response :? I always thought they'd settle for what they can get.
    What if your dreams and fears existed in the same place? What if to get to heaven, you had to brave hell? What if everything you've ever wanted cost you everything you've ever achieved? Would you still go there?
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    Simple. "Your mum"
  • bentes
    bentes Posts: 286
    Dear Sheeps and Yeehaa

    It seems that a a couple of new Advisors have appeared in the crudcatcher and they're getting a lot of questions asked, including by you both. Does this mean that you guys don't have the answer to all problems in the universe and that I should be asking Miss Bint and Kitty for true enlightenment?

    Do you have a cunning plan to leave said advisors in a nearby ditch and get back the control of the advice monopoly?

    Thank you for your answers!
  • sheepsteeth
    sheepsteeth Posts: 17,418
    bentes wrote:
    Dear Sheeps and Yeehaa

    It seems that a a couple of new Advisors have appeared in the crudcatcher and they're getting a lot of questions asked, including by you both. Does this mean that you guys don't have the answer to all problems in the universe and that I should be asking Miss Bint and Kitty for true enlightenment?

    Do you have a cunning plan to leave said advisors in a nearby ditch and get back the control of the advice monopoly?

    Thank you for your answers!

    we are just sharing the wealth and its nice to be nice and make the little ladies feel welcome.

    as for the solution to th advice monopoly. i am going to meet one of them at the afan ride and murder her there, t'other one will be to afraid to give any more advice and order is restored.
    Harry von Big Sticks
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    bentes, those who know everything, like us, know that we can't possibly know everything.
    The only people who think they know everything are morons.
    And besides, any man who professes to know all about women is a liar.
  • bentes
    bentes Posts: 286
    Dear Sheeps and Yeehaa,

    I've seen the light, so I'm changing my current hardtail for a full susser.
    Since there is a crysis and I'm kind of a cheap bastard, I'm selling my bike to finance the new shiny one.

    Had a couple of people interested but one of them gave up the deal to buy a full susser and the other one is making himself hard to get.

    What should I do?
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    Make a really funny ebay add, that becomes another internet legend, then maybe suggest that you'll give 80% of the price the bike goes for to charity.
    Job done.

    Or, find an imbecile, ask him what exactly he wants from a bike, then go into some detailed lying about how your bike has ALL those things he/she wants.
  • road_donut
    road_donut Posts: 284
    Yeehaa 'n' Sheeps I need a little advice....

    My in-laws have got a caravan in Skegness and the missus keeps dragging me up there kicking and screaming as much as she can, I realy hate going and would rather stop at home and ride my bicycle, rather than just telling her

    "NO I F*CKING HATE YOUR STUPID CARAVAN YOU PIKEY F*CKER I DONT WANT TO GO!!!!!!!"

    I'd rather lie to her ....I've already used "I would realy love to go but i can't this weekend because......."

    1. I have aids.
    2. I have to work.

    Any ideas fellas to help me out would be mint !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I need at least the summers worth of weekend excuses, and maybe a few extras just to be safe

    Cheers
    Santa Cruz Blur TRc now a 5010
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    After my epic ordeal with caravans yesterday, I am officially giving you the right to execute her, and everyone involved with said caravan. It will solve two problems
    1. Caravans on roads.
    2. overpopulation.

    Go forth and wreak vengeance.
  • Thewaylander
    Thewaylander Posts: 8,593
    now that's advise i can relate too.

    Shuold get a goverment act past for the legal execution of caravaners on site.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,666
    I really was on the verge of murder yesterday. 20 mph behind caravans on A-roads, and the fukkers just wouldn't pull over to let people pass. Roads are too twisty and there's too much oncoming traffic to get by any other way, then to cap it all off, the wankers will slow down to let OTHER caravanists in front of them - whilst cultivating a tailback the length of Wales :evil:
  • Thewaylander
    Thewaylander Posts: 8,593
    No one would have greived for the caravaner's. Probably you would have been cited the highest honor for a private citizen to receive.
  • road_donut
    road_donut Posts: 284
    yeehaamcgee wrote:
    After my epic ordeal with caravans yesterday, I am officially giving you the right to execute her, and everyone involved with said caravan. It will solve two problems
    1. Caravans on roads.
    2. overpopulation.

    Go forth and wreak vengeance.

    Although murder is an option (and a good one) it would only solve one of the two problems you raise as its a static caravan .... and i would be left with having to dispose of yet another body :(
    Santa Cruz Blur TRc now a 5010

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