Yeeha and Sheeps advice corner
Comments
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its an exciting time when a new arrival is imminent into the family so congratulations.
things to be careful about are hunters, hunters love shooting elephants and they use REALLY big guns, if those hunters are a bit rubbish, you could get your house very smashed up!
also, get a big shovel, like a big american plastic snow shovel, but made of solid iron, if its anything like the time i had an elephant, there will be alot of very heavy very pungeant shit in your house starting as soon as the new fella turns up!0 -
you're gonna need a lime, some string, a coffee jar and some warm liver.....................0
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I have small white pebble-like objects embedded in my gums.
Any advice?0 -
brush them regularly, floss between them, go in peace.0
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I have met a lady from Rhyl via t'internet are Rhyl ladies safe for mating with?0
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thats excellent news, and what better person to trust for advice than a half welsh half stokey person, do you say beaker and chickin a lot like my stokey friend does?0
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Not only the obvious, but also the neccesary.
Make sure you take protection. The importance of a good squad of bodyguards cannot be overstated in Rhyl.0 -
gazderry wrote:thats excellent news, and what better person to trust for advice than a half welsh half stokey person, do you say beaker and chickin a lot like my stokey friend does?
nah, ive got a mostly southern accent i think but i sound brummy when drunk enough as i grew up in lichfield0 -
yeehaamcgee wrote:Not only the obvious, but also the neccesary.
Make sure you take protection. The importance of a good squad of bodyguards cannot be overstated in Rhyl.
How many do you reccomend for an entorage, and how much protection do you recommend for an enterage?0 -
Well, the size of the entourage should be judged by the size of your "lumps" as they're called.
If they're only little mike Tyson types, then you might need a good 30 or so.
It also depends how heavily armed they are. nothing much will bring down a Rhyll lass, except an elephant gun,a vulcan cannon, or an A-10 tankbuster.0 -
I waiting for my new phone to arrive but it still not here yet. what should i do? :?
how to teach a cat to use a cat flap?
"It is not impossible, its just improbable"
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
waiting for a phone that hasn;t arrived yet? Simple. Phone it!
Best way to teach the cat how to use a cat flap is to terrify it in the room which has the cat flap. That will force it to try and escape, hopefully through the cat flap.0 -
Dear sheeps and Yeeha's
I've just been delivered someone elses phone, and I have a terrified cat keep running into my house, any suggestions?0 -
Why not take this opportunity to experiment a little with what life has to offer?
how about a pleasant afternoon raping the cat with the phone?
Make sure you wear rubber gloves, and any fingerprints left anywhere will be linked to the correct owner of the phone.0 -
dear yeehaa
re your last advice, i now have a dead cat with a mobile phone lodged in its mouth stuck on my penis. I kind of hold you responsible for this situation so I would like you to deal with it please, before I have to write a strongly worded letter to my ombudsman
Yours sincerely
Mr Gaz Derry (archbishop)0 -
Wellm Mr Gaz.
Luckily for you you would of course have been wearing your rubber outfit. Now, since you have in your posession a dead cat, which is not yours, and somebody else's phone stuck in it, what I suggest you do it leave it quietly in the corner of a neighbour's garden.
Job done.
Honestly, people worry too much about consequences these days.0 -
i am however unable to get the cat from my person, as in its terror it clenched somewhat.
Also I am unaware of where sheepsteeth's garden is0 -
chop your toddler off?
Or just leave the cat there, As it decomposes it is bound to go soft. You should be able to pull it off your little gaz in 6 months or less.0 -
you should deffo be able to pull it off.
best place to hide the cat once rigor mortice has softened back up is to push it between your legs, then shve it up your arse, it'll be like a feline suppository and after about 8 hours you should have absorbed everything but the bones which you can shit into your neighbours garden.
or, leave the bones in there as a booby trap for any would be rapists.0 -
sound advice, thanks guys, so should i stop chiselling off the cat?0
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is it the same cat or is chiselling off a cat a euphemism?0
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its the same cat, although, i may start using it as a euphamism0
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Dear biking Gods, Hawking has just said that you do not exist as Gravity is capable of destroying and recreating universes in a cyclic model. What do you have to say about this?0
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hmm, he sounds like a knob.
gravity is weak as pi55, look how easily i can lift a pin of a table using a fridge magnet. turns out small magnets are more powerful than gravity so hawking and his bendy mouth can suck my dick.0 -
That has no effect on our being existent. I think you have misunderstood completely.bluechair84 wrote:Dear biking Gods, Hawking has just said that you do not exist as Gravity is capable of destroying and recreating universes in a cyclic model. What do you have to say about this?0 -
sheepsteeth wrote:hmm, he sounds like a knob.
gravity is weak as pi55, look how easily i can lift a pin of a table using a fridge magnet. turns out small magnets are more powerful than gravity so hawking and his bendy mouth can suck my dick.
And surely, to chip in here, magnets are that powerful, if you run one by Stephen Hawkings head, you can completely destroy his memory0 -
yeehaamcgee wrote:
That has no effect on our being existent. I think you have misunderstood completely.bluechair84 wrote:Dear biking Gods, Hawking has just said that you do not exist as Gravity is capable of destroying and recreating universes in a cyclic model. What do you have to say about this?
If the life and death of the universe can be explained in terms of math, with no 'unknown factors' which can't be explained... no X factor which scientists have to just accept... then what role does God play in our universe? He didn't create it, we can explain that one - rather, Microsoft Sam can. I can't, I meerly teach English 8)0 -
I want a new frame but have no money.... what do i do?I like bikes and stuff0
