Corrupt a Wish

xstrathyx

you have a further helping of the salad, for you only to rush off to the toilet and empty the world out your ass

wishes it was 2 weeks time as then i would be finishing work for 3 weeks and off to cyprus!

Thewaylander

Its 2 weeks time and your holiday comes but you get pig flu and you are bed bound on hospital food for exactly 3 weeks!

I wish the really hot lady from the comapny across the road wasn't moving back to scotland.

lawman

she doesnt go back to scotland, she goes to wales and is shagged to death by a sheep and its owner

i wish it would stop rainning

cat_with_no_tail

It stops raining, starts snowing with 80mph gusts instead.

I wish I could get the hang of this bloody SQL Query thats been driving me mental all day

Thewaylander

You get the hang of the query, and your PC blows up.

Strangely living wales. i could be that man with a sheep!

I wish it was already home time so i can pack my gear for camping!

BurtonM

You work announce an early shut, and you pack your camping gear, however a pan falls on your head and sends you into a 3 year coma.

I wish my new Meta 5 would hurry up and come.

lawman

it doe shurry up but comes so fast you miss and have to wait an eternity for it, and die a lonely old man

i wish i had a 2010 zesty 514 ..... now

DC01

Your new bike turns up, but you realise that the paint job looks even worse in the flesh than it does in the pics. so shameful in fact that you never take it out and it sits hidden collecting dust.

I wish my children would do as there told!!!

OH NO Dan

Your children start to obey you, but then they all die ( very sad sorry for your loss)

I wish i could get to sleep

snotty badger

^ Bit harsh!

You fall asleep have a vivid dream about how your uncle use to touch you and you did with your mother that one time. Then you don't wake up. :P


I wish I was better at saving...

thekickingmule

You get so good at saving that you get paranoid, and fear that if you spend a single penny, you will go broke. So scared of this you become, that you don't buy food any more, and end up becoming a beggar on the street, having sold all your possessions to save the money. When people discover that you are actually very wealthy and begging, they hate you and all avoid you, other tramps beat you up and steal what you have. Eventually, you die, absolutely loaded, but through starvation and blood loss.
Then your family spends all the money within a week.

I wish I had a tent so I could just get away from everything for the weekend.

fred1star

You wish you had a tent... your mad... you want to go camping in this cra@ppy weather? :?

Anyway, if thats what you wish for then thats what you get.... You get your swanky new tent and pitch it in a field of randy bulls. As you crawl into your tent a sharp eyed young stud of a bull mounts you slipping one up you. Dripping cow love juice from your behind you slip over breaking your leg. Biking over for a few months you get depressed and turn veggie. Your bit of cow love action has put you off meat.

Actually, I've seen a great tee pee tent. Bloo@dy expensive but looks well cool. I wish I had that tent...

xstrathyx

you get your big tee pee tent, but in the night a great big bear comes in and decides he is going to bugger you daft! (ouchy)

wish for stress free next 2 weeks before i go on my holibobs! (can't wait to see this wish get forked lol)

cat_with_no_tail

You have a stress free 2 weeks, then on the day of your holibobs, all flights are cancelled due to pig-flu. Inverness is the worst affected area, and then the virus mutates, causing plagues of the undead to roam the streets a-la 28 days later. You have your c0ck bitten off by one of the undead.

I wish I could find a caterham or MV for the photo-challenge :roll:

DC01

You find both cars at the same time for the photo challenge. But unfortunately the polcie have sealed the area off because an horrific RTA involving the two cars and OH NO dan (see above), in which his bike has been inserted into him sideways following an impact with the Caterham, and the MV driver Just ploughed into the wreckage because of the laughter at what he saw. So no photo.

I wish my car was an MV.

jojo90

You walk outside your house to find a brand spanking new MV, the only trouble is Tim Westwood got his hands on it first and found out you are a closet homosexual. As such after he 'pimped your ride' you now drive a MV with a giant florescent pink penis on the roof.

I wish I didn't have to stay at work until 6pm tonight...

whalley665

you end up leaving work at 4pm but then on the way out a signpost falls over and squashes you

I wish i had lots of money to afford everything

lawman

you do have lots of money but have a horrific accident and a put in a coma for life so cant spend

i wish my gf would talk to me (bad times )

BurtonM

your gf does talk to you, but she says shes leaving you for a farm animal called dave the sheep.

I wish i knew what a MV was?

fred1star

You google MV agusta ... its a motor bike, not a car... you cant find one anywhere they are too expensive, its a reccession you know.

I wish I had been in paris to see mark finish the TDF off in style.... although its gay roady stuff.... respect where its due.. that guy don't arf move.

lawman

you were in paris, but got drunk, walked into the middle of the road, made cav crash and ruined the tour for everyone

i wish i didnt have to london this week

cat_with_no_tail

You dont have to London this week, you have to Afghanistan instead :shock:

I wish I'd had a better day today and wasnt in such a crappy mood right now.

Hercule Q

you've had a fantastic day and when you couldn't think it would get better you find £20 on the floor and go to the pub in the pub you start talking to a leggy swedish bird with big tits and blonde hair she says she is part of the international naked baby oil wrestleing team and they're missing a judge, you oblige to help her out after the event they all invite you back to their hoter to 'repay' the favor but on the way over there a pteryadactel swoops down and picks you up and your wallet falls out of your pocket, the pteryadactel drops you in the sea just off the coast of samalia and your rescued by pirates who adopt you as the ships wench and you spend the rest ofyour like being buggered by a fat smelly hairy samalian!


i wish there was more food in the house

ramemtbers

there was more food in the house, but it is all out of date

i wish i was still in wales riding cwm carn again

cat_with_no_tail

You are still in Wales riding Cwmcarn, It's chucking it down. Whilst there, your house is burgled, then burnt to the ground. A family member tries to ring you on your mobile to let you know. The phone starts ringing in your pocket, distracting you from the trail. You fall, destroying your bike and breaking both legs and both arms. Whilst in hospital you catch swine-flu.

I wish I was a Ninja :P

ramemtbers

you become a ninja but some evil gang starts to chase you with big pointy sticks and you get skewered and roasted ona bbq

i wish i had somewhere new to ride

lawman

you do have somewhere new to ride, but its so sh!t you get so bored you give up mtbing for life and never ride a bike again

i wish work would hurry up and pay me so i can put a depsoit on a zesty :evil:

xstrathyx

your work do pay you, however the payment is in the form of a cheque and will take 28 days to process due to legal reasons

wish it was a week tomorrow then i'd be on hols for 3 weeks and off to cyprus !

lawman

it is a week tomorrow, but the credit has forced all flights to be cancelled and the airways have all gone bust

i wish there was an extremely attractive woman sitting on my lap 8)

xstrathyx

megan fox sits on your lap, however what entails is almost like a scene from Superbad

wishes the cricket does finally start at edgebaston, then i can watch something whilst at work