Corrupt a Wish

lawman

the cricket does start, but your computer crashes so you have to watch deal or no deal instead

i wish i wasnt so bored ...........

stuart_c-2

You're no longer bored, your boss just gave you so much work to do you'll be at work all weekend with no time to ride.

I wish I knew what I wanted for my birthday......

Hercule Q

you know what you want for your birtthday, unfortunatly its a handjob from a ladyboy


i wish that my friends would come out riding on the one good day we've had this week

ramemtbers

your friends do come out riding but you all get punchers and the day is ruined as no one has a puncture repair kit

i wish i hadnt hit that rock at coed y brenin and baent my rear disc and broke my spoke again.

johnnyboy29

You now recall that you didn't hit the rock but you did plough in to 2 out door gay sex fanatics who after very little small talk spit roast you!!!

iwish i had me trek 6500 2010

ramemtbers

you get your trek but by the time you get it the new 2011 version is out and you want that one more.

OH NO Dan

johnnyboy29 wrote:

You now recall that you didn't hit the rock but you did plough in to 2 out door gay sex fanatics who after very little small talk spit roast you!!!

iwish i had me trek 6500 2010

You get the bike but it only comes in bright pink, with those tassles on the handlebars.

I wish my arm was better so i can ride :evil:

IcarusGreen

Your arm is better but you only ride men.

I wish Family Guy didn't make me laugh so hard that a little bit of wee comes out

lawman

a little of bit of wee doesnt come out ...... alot does

i wish i could remember what happened on thursday night :? on who the random hot girl was i geeting rather close too

bluechair84

After a full English, you remember the random hot girl was your mum and your still wearing her underwear...

I wish I got with the random hot girl sporting the mohican in Manchester last night, she was keen but I lost her in the crowd!

thekickingmule

You did get with the random hot girl you found last night, only to find out that she was actually two midgets, on stood on top of the other. What's more is they were male, and buggered you rotten.

I wish food could be delivered to me right here. Can't be arsed moving.

xstrathyx

the food you desire is delivered to you, sadly all out of date though

i wish i won the lottery and bought all the bikes, cars, golf clubs and games i wanted

ramemtbers

you win the lottery but you fall in a very big hole and cant claim your money as you cant climb out and you are stuck for ever

i wish it would stop raining and my mates would help me build the new dh track

big-hitter

it stops raining! and your mates help you to build that DH track! unfortuantly they are sh*t builders and it all collapes on your first run. and you fall off. and they rape you. and you die.


i wish this wish would come true!!! (:twisted: screw that one up!)

Hercule Q

your wish comes true but your riddled with so much guilt you cant even look at a bike without feeling so bad you wanna die and then when you look out your window a bike race goes past and you hang yourself


i wish i was back in the pub

thekickingmule

You are back in the pub, pullin the bloke that sits in the corner by himself with the long beard.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy.

lawman

you arent sleepy ... you're dead

i wish enough money to buy i everythin i need for my new flat and still have some left over for a new nike or two

Hercule Q

you have enough money for everything you need for the flat but you obtained it by selling your bikes


i wish my gf could be a little smarter

big-hitter

your gf gets alot smarter, but then grows male genitals and changes her name to "Derrick"


i wish my gf didnt hate me!

Uncle Peter

She doesn't hate you any longer, but her love for you turns in to obsession, she kills all your family and friends, smashes all your possessions so you now have to spend all your time with her, and her kittens called big and hitter.

I wish I was a lesbian. :?

thekickingmule

You become a lesbian, and your new girlfriend is a massive dyke, with one arm, and one hook, and every night she demands to have her dirty ways with you. Oh yeah, and she likes golden showers.
I wish I hadn't asked for information from Train 4 Trade Skills!

snotty badger

You didn't ask for any info- however you soon discover that its actually really good and everyones part of it but they can't fit you in now.


I wish I wasn't so sleepy

IcarusGreen

Your so not sleepy that forever you become the ultimate insomniac and go crazy from lack of snoozing.

I wish my bike wasn't broken.....again

Hercule Q

your bike's not broken...........you are


i wish my dog could talk

cat_with_no_tail

Your dog can talk, he tells you about the affair he's been having with your missus and how he takes a leak in your cup of tea on a morning.

I wish to know the meaning of life

snotty badger

You know the meaning of life, but you only find this out in your dying last second...


I wish I could find the right house tomorrow

MacAndCheese

You find the perfect house and move in, only for the founder of the Pet Shop Boys Fan club to move in next door and play their 'greatest' hits at maximum volume on constant loop.


I wish my regular LBS could stock Santa Cruz frames...

Uncle Peter

As of Monday they do indeed stock Santa Cruz frames and, as you have been badgering them for so long they offer you one at cost price. Excitedly as you run down to the shop with your piggybank under your arm, you fail to look both ways at the zebra crossing and get hit by the truck that's been delivering SC frames to the shop.

As you lay dying a Chav nick your piggy bank and buys four Apollos for him and his Chav mates.

I wish my missus would let me 'do' her sister.

jamazin

she lets you do her sister. Only then do you find out that shes a transvestite.

I wish i had enough money for some new wheels

cat_with_no_tail

You have enough money for some new wheels, but only enough for square ones.

I wish the Gibbonment would pay for a nice new house for me, and offer me round the clock protection, and pay all my bills and give me spending money. So all I had to do all day is ride my bike.