Silly commuting racing

Greg T

Coriander wrote:

I ain't no roadie.

That's why you are single

Here's what you do.

Get down to your bike shop this weekend.

By road bike and kit.

Park bike on well frequented roadie route, take off front wheel.

Have your mobile to hand and clear your diary.

Coriander

If only it were so easy...

Citizen Smith

Reckon I can do a 'swift' one on Friday too. Per the news regarding the nine groups of drinkers, I sincerely hope that racing (pints) is not a feature of SCR beers as well or we could well be in trouble... :shock:

Bassjunkieuk

NEWSFLASH

One kind person has just pasted in their latest Freewheel e-mail and it mentions a couple of interesing points:

No1. Chance to meet GB olympic heroes, including Mr Hoy and a certain Victoria Pendelton :-D

No2. They are doing a sprint challenge!!!! I reckon Sky or Boris have been watching this forum and put this in just for us! Chance to win a signed GB jersey.

Also get to see some of the bikes that won at the Olympics, although I doubt the gearing is anywhere near that what LiT is used to pushing :-) I assume our SS riding lass is still jetting off around Europe as she has been rather quiet the last few days.........alright for some I guess! Unless of course she is stranded in sunny Helsinki due to XL going tit's up and is currently frantically cycling across France on a hideous 3 speed shopper!

Totalnewbie

Last time I had a p-word no one offered to assist me. The fact that I was looking all professional (ahem) and was fully prepared with latex gloves *snap* perhaps had something to do with this.

Greg T

Coriander wrote:

If only it were so easy...

Guys are easy - FACT.

Roadie Guys are easier than most guys - you can even swap waxing stories with them. After a while when you get bored of their effeminate ways and them never replacing the "products" of yours they've used you can bin them and get a proper hairy roadie.

Buy a road bike - it's a dead cert winner.

Greg T

Totalnewbie wrote:

Last time I had a p-word no one offered to assist me. The fact that I was looking all professional (ahem) and was fully prepared with latex gloves *snap* perhaps had something to do with this.

Set faces to Stunned........

When you say "professional" do we mean;

accountant or perhaps naughty lawyer, business suit, glasses

or

Hooker - you know "professional"

or

Bodie and Doyle

or

Pro racer.

As for the latex gloves they can be hard to spot at high speed - God knows I've tried

Littigator

If I spotted a woman at the side of the road looking like any of GTs 'professional' descriptions and 'snapping on' latex gloves (ouch) I'd put Hoy to shame with my turn of acceleration.

Perhaps therein lies your problem ?

biondino

LiT is on holiday in Turkey I think!

Greg T

Littigator wrote:

If I spotted a woman at the side of the road looking like any of GTs 'professional' descriptions and 'snapping on' latex gloves (ouch) I'd put Hoy to shame with my turn of acceleration.

Perhaps therein lies your problem ?

It's a self selecting group that would haul on the anchors when faced with this situation and that is for certain.

*snap*

I feel giddy

Totalnewbie

Why, Professional P-word Fixer Extraordinaire, of course.

I don't know that Assistant Editors count as professionals. Professonal dogsbodies, maybe...

I didn't mind no one stopping. Just saying, y'know, you should prob look a bit helpless if you want someone to stop...

A lot of London commuters are more clueless than I am anyway. Specially the bloke who was by the side of the road last winter, trying to put his pedal back on, who didn't know that the left pedal had a left-hand thread.

Greg T

Totalnewbie wrote:

A lot of London commuters are more clueless than I am anyway..

I stopped to help a guy by Temple last year sometime (I didn't even fancy him - that's how good I am)..

He was pushing what must have been 4K worth of carbon - flat front tyre.

"Can I help" I ask

"Oh yeah mate" whined the Aussie "I've got no pump"

or spare tube, or tyre spanners, or repair kit as it turned out.....

So I give him my pump, tube, levers etc etc and let him get on with it.

Ten mins later the tyre is completely off the wheel and Skippy is looking a little embaressed as he's plainly got no clue how to fix his flat.....

I take control - in a capable and safe way, oozing authority.

Two mins later I send him and his very expensive bike on their way.

That story would be so much cooler if i wasn't married and he was a a burd or we were both gay or I was a burd. In the end it's just a bit of homo-erotic mechanical frippery.

el_presidente

Greg T wrote:

Totalnewbie wrote:

A lot of London commuters are more clueless than I am anyway..

I stopped to help a guy by Temple last year sometime (I didn't even fancy him - that's how good I am)..

He was pushing what must have been 4K worth of carbon - flat front tyre.

"Can I help" I ask

"Oh yeah mate" whined the Aussie "I've got no pump"

or spare tube, or tyre spanners, or repair kit as it turned out.....

So I give him my pump, tube, levers etc etc and let him get on with it.

Ten mins later the tyre is completely off the wheel and Skippy is looking a little embaressed as he's plainly got no clue how to fix his flat.....

I take control - in a capable and safe way, oozing authority.

Two mins later I send him and his very expensive bike on their way.

That story would be so much cooler if i wasn't married and he was a a burd or we were both gay or I was a burd. In the end it's just a bit of homo-erotic mechanical frippery.

I've posted this before but one of the worst experiences I've had on a bike was when I met a gorgeous blonde lady in full kit standing by the side of the road in Regents Park with a flat on her beautiful Condor carbon road bike.

I screeched to a halt ready to offer my services as required... only to find this was the one day I had forgotten to bring puncture kit, pump or anything.

We had different cleats too so I couldn't even offer to swap bikes and walk hers home for her.

I've never left home without a pump since

greg66_tri_v2.0

el_presidente wrote:

I've posted this before but one of the worst experiences I've had on a bike was when I met a gorgeous blonde lady in full kit standing by the side of the road in Regents Park with a flat on her beautiful Condor carbon road bike.

I screeched to a halt ready to offer my services as required... only to find this was the one day I had forgotten to bring puncture kit, pump or anything.

We had different cleats too so I couldn't even offer to swap bikes and walk hers home for her.

I've never left home without a pump since

You weren't trying hard enough. You should have carried her home in your arms, and promised to replace her bike.

Alternatively, offer to sell her a £20 note for £50. In cash or kind. :twisted:

Bassjunkieuk

Let el_p's story be a warning to us all. You should always make sure your carrying the correct, ahem, equipment with you in case you meet a lady in distress :-P

I've been past a few cyclist's fixing punctures but can't say I've stopped as they usually look like they know what their doing. I did get asked if I was ok once by a friendly bunch of guys n gals out on a Saturday ride once when out with some mates. All I was doing was adjusting my brakes as the travel was bit long for my liking :-) Still nice for them to ask tho even tho I was probably the most bike savvy looking one of my small riding troop i.e the only one on a non-Halfords bike and kitted out correctly!

biondino

el_presidente wrote:

I've posted this before but one of the worst experiences I've had on a bike was when I met a gorgeous blonde lady in full kit standing by the side of the road in Regents Park with a flat on her beautiful Condor carbon road bike.

I screeched to a halt ready to offer my services as required... only to find this was the one day I had forgotten to bring puncture kit, pump or anything.

We had different cleats too so I couldn't even offer to swap bikes and walk hers home for her.

I've never left home without a pump since

There's an HG Wells short story called "A Perfect Gentleman on Wheels" (synopsis linked) which this thread is really reminding me of...

Bassjunkieuk

biondino wrote:

el_presidente wrote:

I've posted this before but one of the worst experiences I've had on a bike was when I met a gorgeous blonde lady in full kit standing by the side of the road in Regents Park with a flat on her beautiful Condor carbon road bike.

I screeched to a halt ready to offer my services as required... only to find this was the one day I had forgotten to bring puncture kit, pump or anything.

We had different cleats too so I couldn't even offer to swap bikes and walk hers home for her.

I've never left home without a pump since

There's an HG Wells short story called "A Perfect Gentleman on Wheels" (synopsis linked) which this thread is really reminding me of...

I tend to think of this thread a bit more like "War and Peace" - both are so damn long that nobody in their right mind would read from beginning to end :-D

Coriander

I've read both from beginning to end.

And I know which was more enjoyable.

cjcp

Bassjunkieuk wrote:

biondino wrote:

el_presidente wrote:

I've posted this before but one of the worst experiences I've had on a bike was when I met a gorgeous blonde lady in full kit standing by the side of the road in Regents Park with a flat on her beautiful Condor carbon road bike.

I screeched to a halt ready to offer my services as required... only to find this was the one day I had forgotten to bring puncture kit, pump or anything.

We had different cleats too so I couldn't even offer to swap bikes and walk hers home for her.

I've never left home without a pump since

There's an HG Wells short story called "A Perfect Gentleman on Wheels" (synopsis linked) which this thread is really reminding me of...

I tend to think of this thread a bit more like "War and Peace" - both are so damn long that nobody in their right mind would read from beginning to end :-D

Quite. The thread needs to come back to the issue of SCR.

Littigator

Well as an almost back to subject post, I've got to go shopping in Camden tonight (bear with me I will get there)...and I need to find the biggest hill in London for some hill climb training so I'll be SCRing up Haverstock Hill to Belsize Park this evening.

I may wish pitifully for the Millbank Wind Tunnel after my elastic band legs have wobbled me to the top of that one.

And for you patronising northerners who think London is flat, it's 3k long with 110 metres of climbing. OK not exactly Ben Nevis but a still none to shabby practice stretch I reckon.

Greg T

cjcp wrote:

Quite. The thread needs to come back to the issue of SCR.

Fundamentalism.

I like it.

Durka Durka Cycle racing jihad.

itboffin

biondino wrote:

Wow you bunch of wusses! I've been meeting up for intermet-sourced drinks, picnics, parties and the like for over a decade! Tell your wives it's not just doggers, World of Warcraft geeks and your weird uncle Nigel who meet people from the internet, and man up and declare with price that you're getting together with men who shave their legs and wear lycra! There's nothing to be ashamed of!

How do you fit all that in with your busy stalking schedule n all

Bassjunkieuk

Indeed CJCP, we do seem to have gone a bit OT, which it's rather un-heard of for us........

I'm off in about 10-15 minutes from Broadway near Victoria. Heading towards Brixton so I'll miss most people although I might divert down via Clapham and Tooting to get to Streatham today as I'm feeling adventurous! Last time I went that way I picked up a nasty wind coming past the lido at Tooting!

dafruk

Littigator wrote:

And for you patronising northerners who think London is flat, it's 3k long with 110 metres of climbing. OK not exactly Ben Nevis but a still none to shabby practice stretch I reckon.

To my very quick and lazy maths does that come out at about a 3.5% gradient. Or as it's called in Ediburgh, the flat! Ooh feel the burn...

cjcp

To echo Attica's post last week, is everyone accounted for after this morning's incident?

Greg T

I got diverted at the start of the underpass about 0815ish.

Not good.

Bassjunkieuk

cjcp wrote:

To echo Attica's post last week, is everyone accounted for after this morning's incident?

Raises hand and shouts "Here Sir!"

Keeps hand up, frantically waving with the other arm clasping it over his head "What's happened now?"

Just to come back to SCR for a mo, my diversion via Clapham Common/Balham/Tooting Bec yesterday evening reaped some lovely scalps :-D Tussled with a few roadies, made more fun by the WVM tw4t who didn't seem to use his nearside mirror, and kept leaving sod all space down the left side when each time he pulled over cos his lane of traffic had stopped :evil:
Even with trying to anticipate him it did mean I was getting boxed in and loosing speed compared to the other guys. Still managed to recover the ground lost each time and one even turned down the road towards Croydon/Streatham ahead of me! (Un)fortunately (depending on how you look at it) he turned off a short way up so I couldn't take him again, but did draw level before he turned off!

Not a bean on the way in today, some nice looking roadies in Brixton, one on a rather nice Planet X, but cos of the stupid traffic it was mainly filtering action so doesn't count!

greg66_tri_v2.0

cjcp wrote:

To echo Attica's post last week, is everyone accounted for after this morning's incident?

I'm in. That was the cause of the queue back to Big Ben? What was it?

Greg T

http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=12586757

Cyclist vs Lorry accident east of Blackfriars tunnel.

beseku

I imagine that was why The Cut/Blackfriars Road + Bridge were clogged right up?

Not nice stuff.