The Receptionist....

hambones
hambones Posts: 407
edited December 2011 in Commuting chat
I am drunk as I type this!

As requested :)
Still breathing.....
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Comments

  • davis
    davis Posts: 2,506
    Step away from the keyboard, fella.
    Sometimes parts break. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes it’s your fault.
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    Time for bed I think...

    ...but tell us more when you are sober and make a bit more sense!
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  • hambones
    hambones Posts: 407
    :-) I thought I was very lucid!
    Still breathing.....
  • thelawnet
    thelawnet Posts: 719
    hambones wrote:
    This other turned out to be a guy I had agreed to ride with this Easter undertaking Lejog.

    Any further details - please ask :)

    Does he ride Shimano or SRAM?
  • hambones
    hambones Posts: 407
    Shimano - he got his first road bike 2 weeks ago
    Still breathing.....
  • Wrath Rob
    Wrath Rob Posts: 2,918
    I wonder how quickly you'll delete this in the morning?
    FCN3: Titanium Qoroz.
  • thelawnet
    thelawnet Posts: 719
    hambones wrote:
    Shimano - he got his first road bike 2 weeks ago

    that's why he's not got any stamina. Needs more training.

    Does he do a full session on Sundays, and after work as well?
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    There is much I don't understand about the World.

    OK, let me unpack this:

    You have a thing for the receptionist. - Cool

    She had a thing for you and another dude. - Personally I value myself too much to be a mere choice of fancy but stil...

    You're both bald. - MMmmokay

    She was having an affair with the other guy behind the back of her husband. - At this point I'd just stay clear of this chick.

    You started boshing her too. - That's kinda naaasty. Sloppy seconds. Also that you're willing to participate in an affiar brings your moral compass into question. But ho-hum I'm not one to judge.

    The other guy was better in bed (Wham Bam) than you - Why or how you can admit this is beyond my Alpha comprehension

    She "cheated" or slept with someone else while trying to commit to you. - And this surprises you? If she was prepared to have an affair behind the back of her husband, why did you think you'd be any different?

    You've cooled things off with her. - Lucky escape in my opinion
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    hambones wrote:
    I am drunk as I type this!

    Before Christmas there was a thread about inappropriate works do's - although to be fair it may have been on another forum! At the time I posted that the work receptionist may have had a thing for me and she was my reserve.

    As it transpires she had a thing for me and one other at work - we both shared the trait of baldness which worked for her! This other turned out to be a guy I had agreed to ride with this Easter undertaking Lejog. It was quickly established that she was having an affair with him on account of abusive behaviour by her husband. Not wanting to miss out on a clear opportunity, I too engaged in an affair with her!

    Almost inevitably, my superior performance/prowess/physique took it's toll - I became her God! However, where I was all about stamina, endurance, quality - my Lejog buddy was more about Wham bam quantity! She began to fall in love with me - a game I have often played having been named on 2 previous divorce petitions!

    An amazing weekend followed - 12 hours of passion...

    She was going to end it with the other on Wednesday just gone...

    I will confess - she saw him on the Tuesday for a meaningless shag...

    I have broken her heart as a consequence... such is life

    Any further details - please ask :)


    Quoted for blackmail purposes for when Hambones gets to the keyboard sober :D
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
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  • flicksta
    flicksta Posts: 157
    Can't wait to see the helmet cam footage.
  • flicksta wrote:
    Can't wait to see the helmet cam footage.

    **Shudder**
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    44789this_thread_completely_useless_without_images__1_.jpg
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • Clever Pun
    Clever Pun Posts: 6,778
    flicksta wrote:
    Can't wait to see the helmet cam footage.

    **Shudder**
    hur hur helmet

    more interesting than watching some chump rlj...maybe
    Purveyor of sonic doom

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  • jonny_trousers
    jonny_trousers Posts: 3,588
    Ha! And I thought I'd written some stupid posts when drunk.
  • Sewinman
    Sewinman Posts: 2,131
    :shock: I hope you bagged up.
  • ThatBikeGuy
    ThatBikeGuy Posts: 394
    Ha oh dear...
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  • Ginjafro
    Ginjafro Posts: 572
    I think you will all require an STI test !
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  • King Donut
    King Donut Posts: 498
    Where do you work?
  • Mark Elvin
    Mark Elvin Posts: 997
    THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITH PICS
    2012 Cannondale Synapse
  • hambones
    hambones Posts: 407
    Well the good news is I made it into work, although I woke up rather dehydrated!!!

    That dehydration caused my weight to drop to 13st 1lb :D

    Liked DDD's reply (although he did misread the bit about better in the sack :lol: )

    I feel liberated by my admission to having no morals.... :)
    Still breathing.....
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    The receptionist?
    profoundly-ugly-woman-460x376.jpg

    She sounds very very friendly. Personally, I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. As DDD said
    DDD wrote:
    She was having an affair with the other guy behind the back of her husband. - At this point I'd just stay clear of this chick.

    You started boshing her too. - That's kinda naaasty. Sloppy seconds. Also that you're willing to participate in an affiar brings your moral compass into question. But ho-hum I'm not one to judge.

    I think DDD got one thing wrong though. Its filthy thirds, not sloppy seconds. Hubby, one minute man and you. Ewwww!
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • Mark Elvin
    Mark Elvin Posts: 997
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    I think DDD got one thing wrong though. Its filthy thirds, not sloppy seconds. Hubby, one minute man and you. Ewwww!

    AS LONG AS SHE'S WASHED IT OUT AFTER, WHAT'S THE ISSUE?
    2012 Cannondale Synapse
  • hambones wrote:
    I am drunk as I type this!

    ...She began to fall in love with me - a game I have often played having been named on 2 previous divorce petitions!

    Just how drunk were you when you typed this? Being named on divorce petitions is generally not something to be proud of, unless you're a total scumbag.

    I will confess - she saw him on the Tuesday for a meaningless shag...

    I have broken her heart as a consequence... such is life

    No, such is you. A DDD said her "cheating" on you is hardly a bombshell.

    Might be an idea to stop sleeping with married women and see if you can find one who isn't in a massively unhappy relationship and yet still wants to sleep with you.
  • dhope
    dhope Posts: 6,699
    hambones wrote:
    I am drunk as I type this!

    ...She began to fall in love with me - a game I have often played having been named on 2 previous divorce petitions!

    Just how drunk were you when you typed this? Being named on divorce petitions is generally not something to be proud of, unless you're a total scumbag.

    I will confess - she saw him on the Tuesday for a meaningless shag...

    I have broken her heart as a consequence... such is life

    No, such is you. A DDD said her "cheating" on you is hardly a bombshell.

    Might be an idea to stop sleeping with married women and see if you can find one who isn't in a massively unhappy relationship and yet still wants to sleep with you.

    Ah don't get your knickers in a twist, doesn't sound like anyone's been too inconvenienced by this.
    Apparently the husband is abusive, the receptionist is easy and the two cyclists aren't fussed. Sounds like internet ambivalence is about the right level of concern for all involved.
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  • hambones
    hambones Posts: 407
    :lol: It's great how some people react
    Still breathing.....
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    is it only me who is thinking its a missed opportunity of a threesome?

    an the other guy being your team mate it could have been like a tag team high fiving each other as "you went in"

    oh come on, someone had to say it.
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • dhope
    dhope Posts: 6,699
    mudcow007 wrote:
    is it only me who is thinking its a missed opportunity of a threesome?

    an the other guy being your team mate it could have been like a tag team high fiving each other as "you went in"

    oh come on, someone had to say it.

    No, this is an evil threesome. Shame on you, head over to Commuting General for 30mins.
    Rose Xeon CW Disc
    CAAD12 Disc
    Condor Tempo
  • essex-commuter
    essex-commuter Posts: 2,188
    mudcow007 wrote:

    an the other guy being your team mate it could have been like a tag team high fiving each other as "you went in"
    .

    Or like a Madison, he could 'handsling' you in!
  • Allez Mark
    Allez Mark Posts: 364
    Why don't you apply for the Jeremy Kyle show. :)
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    dhope wrote:
    No, this is an evil threesome. Shame on you, head over to Commuting General for 30mins.

    but its so lonely in there........
    Keeping it classy since '83