The Receptionist....
Comments
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Allez Mark wrote:Why don't you apply for the Jeremy Kyle show.
Then we'd never get to hear about it. Being commuters we have jobs so wouldn't watch it.0 -
Mark Elvin wrote:EKE_38BPM wrote:I think DDD got one thing wrong though. Its filthy thirds, not sloppy seconds. Hubby, one minute man and you. Ewwww!
AS LONG AS SHE'S WASHED IT OUT AFTER, WHAT'S THE ISSUE?
Some are cool with that, some ain't. I'm in the second camp.
I know everyone has a history, but I prefer serial monogamy to multiple current partners.FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees
I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!0 -
hambones wrote:I am drunk as I type this!
Ah the Reade Opening gambit - I fully approve of any post that starts with such a clearly strong starting position.....flimflam_machine wrote:
Just how drunk were you when you typed this? Being named on divorce petitions is generally not something to be proud of, unless you're a total scumbag.
Might be an idea to stop sleeping with married women and see if you can find one who isn't in a massively unhappy relationship and yet still wants to sleep with you.
Flimflam this morning. . . .
Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Still breathing.....0
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I really shouldn't go to bed so early, this thread is golden
Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
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Where do you work, Sleazeball, Scumbags and Slappers Knocking Shop L.t.d ?Smarter than the average bear.0
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hambones wrote:I am drunk as I type this!
Before Christmas there was a thread about inappropriate works do's - although to be fair it may have been on another forum! At the time I posted that the work receptionist may have had a thing for me and she was my reserve.
As it transpires she had a thing for me and one other at work - we both shared the trait of baldness which worked for her! This other turned out to be a guy I had agreed to ride with this Easter undertaking Lejog. It was quickly established that she was having an affair with him on account of abusive behaviour by her husband. Not wanting to miss out on a clear opportunity, I too engaged in an affair with her!
Almost inevitably, my superior performance/prowess/physique took it's toll - I became her God! However, where I was all about stamina, endurance, quality - my Lejog buddy was more about Wham bam quantity! She began to fall in love with me - a game I have often played having been named on 2 previous divorce petitions!
An amazing weekend followed - 12 hours of passion...
She was going to end it with the other on Wednesday just gone...
I will confess - she saw him on the Tuesday for a meaningless shag...
I have broken her heart as a consequence... such is life
Any further details - please ask
Woah - so you've binned her? And if I read this right, you've binned her not because she was also shagging your workmate and her husband (don't kid yourself on that score my boy), but because she shagged your workmate when she was supposed to be breaking up with him ... so that, what, you two could share a monogamous <cough, cough> relationship?
So when it comes down to it, you've binned the workplace bike because she wouldn't devote herself only to you. How long did your expect her new found longing for monogamy to last?
In this strange world you inhabit, there are some very, very fine moral distinctions that go way over my head.
ETA: if that avatar picture is you, then unless she is a roaring pig-scarer of the first water, you've done pretty well to cop off with someone who actually looks like a human. Chapeau!0 -
Just when I had almost given up on Bike Radar - a liitle ray of sunshine appears.
This company Hambones works for sounds like it functions along similar lines to a 70's continental adult film plot.No Babbit No, Look what Birdy doing0 -
Greg66 wrote:hambones wrote:I am drunk as I type this!
Before Christmas there was a thread about inappropriate works do's - although to be fair it may have been on another forum! At the time I posted that the work receptionist may have had a thing for me and she was my reserve.
As it transpires she had a thing for me and one other at work - we both shared the trait of baldness which worked for her! This other turned out to be a guy I had agreed to ride with this Easter undertaking Lejog. It was quickly established that she was having an affair with him on account of abusive behaviour by her husband. Not wanting to miss out on a clear opportunity, I too engaged in an affair with her!
Almost inevitably, my superior performance/prowess/physique took it's toll - I became her God! However, where I was all about stamina, endurance, quality - my Lejog buddy was more about Wham bam quantity! She began to fall in love with me - a game I have often played having been named on 2 previous divorce petitions!
An amazing weekend followed - 12 hours of passion...
She was going to end it with the other on Wednesday just gone...
I will confess - she saw him on the Tuesday for a meaningless shag...
I have broken her heart as a consequence... such is life
Any further details - please ask
Woah - so you've binned her? And if I read this right, you've binned her not because she was also shagging your workmate and her husband (don't kid yourself on that score my boy), but because she shagged your workmate when she was supposed to be breaking up with him ... so that, what, you two could share a monogamous <cough, cough> relationship?
So when it comes down to it, you've binned the workplace bike because she wouldn't devote herself only to you. How long did your expect her new found longing for monogamy to last?
In this strange world you inhabit, there are some very, very fine moral distinctions that go way over my head.
In fairness, sex has nothing to do with morals.0 -
Are you still doing LEJOG with this bloke? Did he know you were having thirds?0
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Where the f*ck do you live, Emmerdale?hambones wrote:There's something about receptionists where I work. The MD left his first wife for the then receptionist - he had his first child with her just one week after he had his third with his wife.
Now 16 years later and he has been caught having it away with another receptionist (she left about a year ago when he bought her a flat, car etc...) and is living in his son's spare room! The company is straining under the mounting divorce costs!!!!
Another former receptionist left after she fell pregnant - however the father of the child was not her then partner - but any one of 3 warehouse guys she had it away with at the Work's Christmas do!!!Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Er Greg, modern day lingo...Old Man Greg66 wrote:Either excellent cycling related punnery, or you're worried Hambones may have been riding her bars too hard, or you meant STD...
STI = Sexually Transmitted Infections
Or
STI = Shimano Total Intergation
Which makes the pun that much more funny...EKE_38BPM wrote:Mark Elvin wrote:EKE_38BPM wrote:I think DDD got one thing wrong though. Its filthy thirds, not sloppy seconds. Hubby, one minute man and you. Ewwww!
AS LONG AS SHE'S WASHED IT OUT AFTER, WHAT'S THE ISSUE?
Some are cool with that, some ain't. I'm in the second camp.
I know everyone has a history, but I prefer serial monogamy to multiple current partners.
You can really pick out the swingers in this thread, that's for sure!Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Someone should have told me this 25 years ago....Rick Chasey wrote:...In fairness, sex has nothing to do with morals.
Cheers,
W.0 -
dhope wrote:Ah don't get your knickers in a twist, doesn't sound like anyone's been too inconvenienced by this.
Bit early to say I reckon. Knickers already twisted I'm afraid, casual amusement from serious and f*cked up stuff in other people's lives tends to get on my tits.Apparently the husband is abusive,
So she should leave the f*cker and get on with her life, it's not as if her having simultaneous affairs with 2 other blokes is going to turn him into a fluffy bunnikins and the perfect husband. hambones presumably knows this from his "previous".the receptionist is easy
Which of course is a perfect justification for joining in in further screwing up her life.and the two cyclists aren't fussed.
And they got a consequence free (for them) shag out of it (STD test and shotgun wielding husbands pending). Yay them!Sounds like internet ambivalence is about the right level of concern for all involved.
Yes, because internet people aren't real people (assuming that this wasn't a massive booze-induced hallucination)
We've all done stupid sh*t, that doesn't mean that it's not stupid sh*t. I've slept with married women, it was fun at the time but in retrospect the wrong thing to do.hambones wrote: It's great how some people react
It must have occurred to you that someone would suggest that you've been a bit of a dick if you posted this on a public forum.0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:
Er Greg, modern day lingo...Old Man Greg66 wrote:Either excellent cycling related punnery, or you're worried Hambones may have been riding her bars too hard, or you meant STD...
STI = Sexually Transmitted Infections
Or
STI = Shimano Total Intergation
Which makes the pun that much more funny...EKE_38BPM wrote:Mark Elvin wrote:EKE_38BPM wrote:I think DDD got one thing wrong though. Its filthy thirds, not sloppy seconds. Hubby, one minute man and you. Ewwww!
AS LONG AS SHE'S WASHED IT OUT AFTER, WHAT'S THE ISSUE?
Some are cool with that, some ain't. I'm in the second camp.
I know everyone has a history, but I prefer serial monogamy to multiple current partners.
You can really pick out the swingers in this thread, that's for sure!
I've been there, done that and moved on.
I have a very funny story for if we ever meet!FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees
I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:
Er Greg, modern day lingo...Old Man Greg66 wrote:Either excellent cycling related punnery, or you're worried Hambones may have been riding her bars too hard, or you meant STD...
STI = Sexually Transmitted Infections
Bloody modern day claptrap ... mutter mutter... used to be PT in my day ... mutter mutter ... not prancing around doing non-competitive nonsense to stop the fat kids crying ... next you'll be telling me VD is a thing of the past and bastards have a new name ... mutter mutter...0 -
Stunted in my opinion.Rick Chasey wrote:Greg66 wrote:hambones wrote:I am drunk as I type this!
Before Christmas there was a thread about inappropriate works do's - although to be fair it may have been on another forum! At the time I posted that the work receptionist may have had a thing for me and she was my reserve.
As it transpires she had a thing for me and one other at work - we both shared the trait of baldness which worked for her! This other turned out to be a guy I had agreed to ride with this Easter undertaking Lejog. It was quickly established that she was having an affair with him on account of abusive behaviour by her husband. Not wanting to miss out on a clear opportunity, I too engaged in an affair with her!
Almost inevitably, my superior performance/prowess/physique took it's toll - I became her God! However, where I was all about stamina, endurance, quality - my Lejog buddy was more about Wham bam quantity! She began to fall in love with me - a game I have often played having been named on 2 previous divorce petitions!
An amazing weekend followed - 12 hours of passion...
She was going to end it with the other on Wednesday just gone...
I will confess - she saw him on the Tuesday for a meaningless shag...
I have broken her heart as a consequence... such is life
Any further details - please ask
Woah - so you've binned her? And if I read this right, you've binned her not because she was also shagging your workmate and her husband (don't kid yourself on that score my boy), but because she shagged your workmate when she was supposed to be breaking up with him ... so that, what, you two could share a monogamous <cough, cough> relationship?
So when it comes down to it, you've binned the workplace bike because she wouldn't devote herself only to you. How long did your expect her new found longing for monogamy to last?
In this strange world you inhabit, there are some very, very fine moral distinctions that go way over my head.
In fairness, sex has nothing to do with morals.
Sex can either have everything or nothing to do with morals depending on the person.
If it categorically didn't, cheating wouldn't exist. Infidelity wouldn't be a major component of divorce.
However, if it doesn't and I'm wrong, can I f*ck your wife/Mum/overage daughter in the back seat of your car?Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Please, make it stop. :shock:Smarter than the average bear.0
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EKE_38BPM wrote:I've been there, done that and moved on.
I have a very funny story for if we ever meet!
In another life time I'm you. Unrestrained I'd have probably done it by now... and other stuff - in addition to the bizzare things already in my closet - just for the experience. I'd be concerned about the lack of condoms flying around though and the alarming increase in HIV in the 40-60's (prime swinger age, I'm told).
All that said I've never slept with a married Woman and kinda glad I haven't. Though if she was unhappily married and/or seperated but not yet divorced I probably would.
On the whole filthy thirds, it occurs to me that I've slept with more than one woman within a 24hr period. Chances are they've did exactly the same. :x (None of those girls I would ever make my girlfriend though... that's just dumb... OP I'm looking at you :shock: )Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:
Stunted in my opinion.Rick Chasey wrote:In fairness, sex has nothing to do with morals.
Sex can either have everything or nothing to do with morals depending on the person.
If it categorically didn't, cheating wouldn't exist. Infidelity wouldn't be a major component of divorce.
However, if it doesn't and I'm wrong, can I f*ck your wife/Mum/overage daughter in the back seat of your car?
That's not immoral - I just wouldn't be happy. Just because sex means something emotionally (in certain situations anyway) doesn't make it an act of morality.
It's a componant of a relationship sure, hence its inclusion in divorce, but it doesn't mean its moral.0 -
Anyone else feel the need to confess all to the world? Any sexual perversions or misdemeanours you would like to be made public? This is the place.Smarter than the average bear.0
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WGWarburton wrote:Rick Chasey wrote:...In fairness, sex has nothing to do with morals.
This is my new pickup line 2011 Orange Five Pro
On-One Pompetamine Alfine Comp0 -
I'm still reeling from the threesome suggestion.... :shock:
Two blokes, one bird? Noooooo......
If you're going to be at opposite ends, then you're looking at another sweaty bloke (possibly naked) while you're getting your end away. This is just plain wrong
if you decide for side by side action (and for the love of Christ. NO) as in the front bum / poop chute scenario; the chances of touching another man's knob with your own....
God. I need to go and wash my brain out now.Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:EKE_38BPM wrote:I've been there, done that and moved on.
I have a very funny story for if we ever meet!
In another life time I'm you. Unrestrained I'd have probably done it by now... and other stuff - in addition to the bizzare things already in my closet - just for the experience. I'd be concerned about the lack of condoms flying around though and the alarming increase in HIV in the 40-60's (prime swinger age, I'm told).
I'm not quite in that age bracket yet, but I've heard the same sort of stats.
In my prime shagging days I used to get regularly tested and I'm all clear. I thank my dad for giving me a fantastic piece of advice.EKE's dad wrote:If you are going to stand in deep puddles, make sure you wear wellies!FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees
I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!0 -
Rick Chasey wrote:DonDaddyD wrote:
Stunted in my opinion.Rick Chasey wrote:In fairness, sex has nothing to do with morals.
Sex can either have everything or nothing to do with morals depending on the person.
If it categorically didn't, cheating wouldn't exist. Infidelity wouldn't be a major component of divorce.
However, if it doesn't and I'm wrong, can I f*ck your wife/Mum/overage daughter in the back seat of your car?
That's not immoral - I just wouldn't be happy. Just because sex means something emotionally (in certain situations anyway) doesn't make it an act of morality.
It's a componant of a relationship sure, hence its inclusion in divorce, but it doesn't mean its moral.
In your post earlier you said that sex didn't have anything to do with morals. You didn't say that sex wasn't a moral. Of course sex isn't a moral. But as I said that isn't what your original said or what I'm responding to.
What I'm responding to is the assertion that sex doesn't have anything to do with morals. It does. Clearly.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:I'm still reeling from the threesome suggestion.... :shock:
Two blokes, one bird? Noooooo......
If you're going to be at opposite ends, then you're looking at another sweaty bloke (possibly naked) while you're getting your end away. This is just plain wrong
if you decide for side by side action (and for the love of Christ. NO) as in the front bum / poop chute scenario; the chances of touching another man's knob with your own....
God. I need to go and wash my brain out now.
Well done. You managed to drag a thread that was already lower than a snake's belly even further down into the depths of yuckiness.Smarter than the average bear.0
