The return of...Caption Competition

1…428429431433434…500

Comments

  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,140
    edited December 2021
    masjer said:

    "Why, Mister Ed, you say I'm in A stable condition, and it's just a bad case of the trots".

    "It's Doctor Ed now,sir"
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,158
    Why the long face?
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,140
    First.Aspect said:

    Why the long face?

    That's a straight red, sorry.
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,158
    Persistent cough from covid makes man feel a little hoarse.
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    Savid Javid unveils the Grand National Health Service.
  • pangolin
    pangolin Posts: 6,648
    "Be grateful they gave you a bed, you should have seen what they did to my cousin"
    - Genesis Croix de Fer
    - Dolan Tuono
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    "You need time to break the fever, I'm afraid you'll just have to ride it out".
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 13,227
    "You want me to chomp your hand off? Neigh problem."
  • sungod
    sungod Posts: 17,340
    how many hands do you see?
    my bike - faster than god's and twice as shiny
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    "Apart from your attachment to horses, we can't find anything wrong with you".
    "You're what's known as a Hippochondriac".
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,382
    Dennis didn't think he would get taken to intensive care just because he said he was feeling a little horse.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,310
    edited December 2021
    Mr Jones from Hemel Hempstead loved the new Taliban Morphine.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,310
    "I'm ill and all you do is nag nag nag".
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • longy
    longy Posts: 74
    Well Dr Shergar, that explains why they never found you.
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    "As we've discussed, a surgeon always needs a stablehand".
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,382
    "They'll never findus in here"
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    Man has a real mare on his hands.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,140
    Think this has run its race
    now.

    Congrats @longy
    longy said:

    Well Dr Shergar, that explains why they never found you.

    Over to you.
  • longy
    longy Posts: 74

  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    edited December 2021
    The world's longest arm Santa competition finds a deserving winner.
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 13,227
    So that's what Alan Yentob got up to after he retired from the BBC.
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    edited December 2021
    "To get this circumference, I use Pie, lots of pie."
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,382
    "That's a cracking pair you've got there, Sir."
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • pangolin
    pangolin Posts: 6,648
    Apologies Mr Claus, it's elf and safety gone mad.
    - Genesis Croix de Fer
    - Dolan Tuono
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    "The only thing I'm trying to hide under here is this huge abdominal tumour. Ho, ho, ho."
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,310
    This fake Santa crossed over 200 borders in one 48 hour period* managing to successfully smuggle 200 Santa outfits.

    *International dateline - that got you, you f*ckers.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    `Claws` lands himself on the sex offender register.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,140
    Security measures in force even at the private sleigh terminal.
  • masjer
    masjer Posts: 2,653
    International drugs trafficker caught with a large haul of "Santa's little helpers".
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,516
    Sorry buddy no presents for you as you’ve been a right cunt
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu

Categories