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  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,930
    Not as much as I would like. but at least I 'm getting as much as the wife. I think.. :?

    What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow. (African or European)?
  • Cleat Eastwood
    Cleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
    No one I knew ever wanted to swallow :lol:

    Why is it called the house of commons when its full of posh people.
    The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
    momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.
  • RDW
    RDW Posts: 1,900
    Because once Eric Joyce gets in the bar, it pretty much descends to the level of Croydon on a Friday night.

    After their stunning defeat in Cardiff yesterday, what words of comfort would you say to the English rugby team?
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,300
    "Don't worry lads, you can always get a job shovelling sh!t"

    When a fly is travelling along a motorway against the flow of traffic, at what point does it say 'oh f*ck' before being splattered ?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    Don't worry lads, nobody gives a f**k about rugby anyway.

    EDIT: Damn you Pinarello, you beat me to it. OK, to answer your question: When it sees that it misjudged the height of your car.

    Do you think that the clouds will finally clear up before that comet flies out of view? :x
  • Gabbo
    Gabbo Posts: 864
    johnfinch wrote:
    Don't worry lads, nobody gives a f**k about rugby anyway.

    Do you think that the clouds will finally clear up before that comet flies out of view? :x

    Comet?

    What comet? :shock:
  • Wirral_paul
    Wirral_paul Posts: 2,476
    Gabbo wrote:

    Comet?

    What comet? :shock:

    This Comet

    http://storage.comet.co.uk/www/splash/html/splash.html

    Here's one for you.... why when you have All Bran for breakfast does it end up coming out of "the other end" still looking like All Bran?? :?: :?:
  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,930
    Yep you have proved All Bran is Shi ite

    Suppositories. Are they any good or had you may as well shove em up your arse?
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,300
    Friend or enema - they need lubrication. After numerous operations on me to find my brain and stuff like that, the problem with anaesthetic is that it tends to bung oneself up. The second problem is that 9 times out of 10, the prettiest nurse got the job of posting the thing, which blew away any faint hope of a date. Eat all bran lots in case you get squished under a car and need anaesthetic - thats my advice :D

    Why is it when I put on my Paris-Roubaix tights, the hoop fits over the left foot perfectly, but the right foot loop/leg is all twisted up?
    (I have even tried putting the right leg in first, same problem)
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    Because the left leg is obviously the Roubaix leg which is closer than Paris.

    Who decided that doing whatever it is that you do to a pea to make mushy peas would be a good idea?
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,930
    The same person who thought,'This pigs' blood would make a cracking pudding'

    Gritty northerner or southern softie?
  • animal72
    animal72 Posts: 251
    Southern softie

    Is it worth getting up tomorrow morning to watch F1?
    Condor Super Acciaio, Record, Deda, Pacentis.
    Curtis 853 Handbuilt MTB, XTR, DT Swiss and lots of Hope.
    Genesis Datum Gravel Bike, Pacentis (again).
    Genesis Equilibrium Disc, 105 & H-Plus-Son.

    Mostly Steel.
  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,930
    Not really. Unless you like watching paint dry.

    The other option is to wake early, make sure you wake the missus, whilst getting up and say,'Now we are awake is there any chance.........
    Has this gambit any hope of success?
  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    No.

    What's the best train journey you've ever been on?
  • bennett_346
    bennett_346 Posts: 5,029
    France, 2007. Lille to Nice, in 6 hours. At one point the screens in the glass walled bar/observation carraige said we were doing 250mph. Very smooth, very fast, and some awesome scenery.

    Coffee, or tea? And what is your guilty pleasure related to either of the two? It could be that you secretly love mocha skinny frappuchinos with caramel and chocolate dust but are too afraid to ask for it, or it could be that you enjoy the occasional strawberry tea.
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,516
    Coffee, i use www.hasbean.co.uk who deliver a pack of different coffee every week.

    There is a brief description of the farm where the coffee is grown and the flavour in the bag. Put that with a bean to cup machine and it's rather decadent. The machine does all the fancy mocha etc coffees but i prefer mine black with the occasional Irish coffee which are to die for. The downside is most restaurants don't sell coffee anywhere near as good.

    Whats your next bike related purchase?
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    A car.

    This hobby sucks unless you live in a mediterranean climate.

    If riding a lighter bike or losing a few kgs improves your cycling performance why don't pro teams train with heavier bikes or carry additional weights?
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • team47b
    team47b Posts: 6,425
    A car.

    This hobby sucks unless you live in a mediterranean climate.

    :oops:

    'Cos they're all wusses. Yesterday I was out 'training' in a strong headwind, uphill, 87kgs (total of me, my hybrid 11.5kg, my trailer 8.5kg, the weekly shopping 12kg) and I kept imagining the difference the next time out on the road bike :D

    What's your idea of a perfect day?
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,665
    Sex, fry up for breakfast, watch some Olympics, Double Whopper with cheese, do a few lines, go to the pub, anal sex ( with a women preferably) eat some honey roasted nuts, pick a fight with a little person, smoke some crack, go to cinema, back to pub, murder, nice hot bath, massage, sex, bed.

    Best children's program ever?
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • Chorlton and the Wheelies.

    I'm having turkey for dinner. Which would go best, Sauvignon blanc or a nice Sancerre?
    Ecrasez l’infame
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,516
    Sir your palate is much more sophisticated than mine as both produce dry, citrus based flavours. IMHO.

    If you're feeling indulgent why not open both and perform a taste test thereby establishing your preference?


    What are the winning numbers for the euro lottery on Tuesday?
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • team47b
    team47b Posts: 6,425
    19 - 32 - 35 - 37 - 44

    What did you spend it on?
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • Wirral_paul
    Wirral_paul Posts: 2,476
    team47b wrote:
    19 - 32 - 35 - 37 - 44

    What did you spend it on?

    He gave it all to Wirral_Paul

    So given £5,000 from my new found wealth - what bike would you buy - or would you spend it on women?
  • animal72
    animal72 Posts: 251
    Hand built 853 frame, campag groupset, not sure what wheels.

    Which wheels would suit?
    Condor Super Acciaio, Record, Deda, Pacentis.
    Curtis 853 Handbuilt MTB, XTR, DT Swiss and lots of Hope.
    Genesis Datum Gravel Bike, Pacentis (again).
    Genesis Equilibrium Disc, 105 & H-Plus-Son.

    Mostly Steel.
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    A handbuilt set of wheels by Ugo.santalucia, preferably with ambrosio rims.

    What classic team paint job would the frame have?
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,300
    The Battaglin in Carrera colours.

    Where can you buy sky hooks from?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • animal72
    animal72 Posts: 251
    iTunes (they were a band in the 70s)

    When is the queen going to retire?
    Condor Super Acciaio, Record, Deda, Pacentis.
    Curtis 853 Handbuilt MTB, XTR, DT Swiss and lots of Hope.
    Genesis Datum Gravel Bike, Pacentis (again).
    Genesis Equilibrium Disc, 105 & H-Plus-Son.

    Mostly Steel.
  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,930
    Bed time. Same as the rest of us.

    How many beans make 5?
  • izza
    izza Posts: 1,561
    Depends if they are baked or magic but on average a full house.

    Do hair straighteners work on pubic hair?
  • pinkteapot
    pinkteapot Posts: 367
    I don't know but after all the times I've burnt my ear while using them on my head, I'm not trying it.

    Have you cycled round a magic roundabout?