Yeeha and Sheeps advice corner
Comments
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Whilst you can get a lot of bacon from pigs, I suggest that you don't go mad.
Selling a load of bacon suddenly and out of the blue is bound to raise questions, and (although I'm not suggesting anything!) feeding dead people to pigs, and then feeding those pigs to humans is the leading cause of zombie infestations.
Of course, I'm not suggesting you're doing anything or the sort, of course, ahem. BUT, you may find that someone has recently used a load of pigs for said purpose, and your getting rid of a load of them would certainly draw the law pigs' attention.
Oh god, you didn't feed them to policemen did you? That would be like mad cow disease squared.0 -
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believe me, those birds in rhyl like a massive bit of c0ck, no question.
my mum lives there
growing your obvious is a difficult thing to do so my advice is this:
make up for a small necessary by having an exceptionally fast ar5e, i mean bluring away like a humming bird wing. by the time you have knocked the wind out of her she wont care. if she does care, leave her in a ditch in your neighbours garden.
i once fucked a bird who begged me "give me 12 inches and make me bleed!" i fucked her 6 times and punched her in the face.0 -
yeehaamcgee wrote:
Really? Really really?psymon wrote:im in the mood for a BIG nobody in the house wank.
know any good "jazz" websites.
If you really want, I'll PM you. There is an amazing place for free online "jazz" where you can pretty much ask for anything you want and it will be provided.
Surely you should just tell us all of this website, its a public service kinda thing!Giant Reign - now sold :-(
Rockhopper Pro - XC and commuting
DH8 - New toy :-)0 -
sheepsteeth wrote:believe me, those birds in rhyl like a massive bit of c0ck, no question.
my mum lives there
growing your obvious is a difficult thing to do so my advice is this:
make up for a small necessary by having an exceptionally fast ar5e, i mean bluring away like a humming bird wing. by the time you have knocked the wind out of her she wont care. if she does care, leave her in a ditch in your neighbours garden.
i once farked a bird who begged me "give me 12 inches and make me bleed!" i farked her 6 times and punched her in the face.
Thanks, but I don't think you quite understand.
It's the same size as a baby.....16 inches long and weighs 8 and a half pounds.
But it sounds like those Rhyll women would be able to cope.
I can't help feeling like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. If they get all that, then should I use a butternut squash or even a pumpkin, instead of a lime?0 -
sheepsteeth wrote:i once farked a bird who begged me "give me 12 inches and make me bleed!" i farked her 6 times and punched her in the face.
Dear sheepmcgee,
The quote above just had me properly laughing out loud in the office when I'm supposed to be in a very important and serious meeting. How should I deal with this potentially business threatning situation now?0 -
Cat With No Tail wrote:sheepsteeth wrote:i once farked a bird who begged me "give me 12 inches and make me bleed!" i farked her 6 times and punched her in the face.
Dear sheepmcgee,
The quote above just had me properly laughing out loud in the office when I'm supposed to be in a very important and serious meeting. How should I deal with this potentially business threatning situation now?
This... + 1 million irish potato pickers.
This thread keeps getting better!!0 -
Cat With No Tail wrote:sheepsteeth wrote:i once farked a bird who begged me "give me 12 inches and make me bleed!" i farked her 6 times and punched her in the face.
Dear sheepmcgee,
The quote above just had me properly laughing out loud in the office when I'm supposed to be in a very important and serious meeting. How should I deal with this potentially business threatning situation now?
If you have netmeeting or livemeeting, share your desktop and show them this thread. If they don’t laugh then cut off all communication immediately with them. They’re obviously robots or agents of the dark side (those roadies get everywhere) and you should not do business with them or they will drug you and shave your legs."I ride to eat"0 -
Ahem. Who's thread is this?0
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yeehaamcgee wrote:Ahem. Who's thread is this?
Most definatley yours, all other advice is ignored, that was cleared up earlier in the thread!
So, back to this "jazz" site... Giant Reign - now sold :-(
Rockhopper Pro - XC and commuting
DH8 - New toy :-)0 -
Cat With No Tail wrote:sheepsteeth wrote:i once farked a bird who begged me "give me 12 inches and make me bleed!" i farked her 6 times and punched her in the face.
Dear sheepmcgee,
The quote above just had me properly laughing out loud in the office when I'm supposed to be in a very important and serious meeting. How should I deal with this potentially business threatning situation now?
tell them you were laughing at an idea which popped into your head. tell them you had a quick thought about murdering all of the people who can hear you, that'll teach em all to mind their business.
nosey cunts.0 -
Murder, in general, is a pretty good solution to a lot of socially awkward moments, it should be pointed out.
And in those cases where it's a bit too much, some extreme violence should do the trick.0 -
Hercule Q wrote:if your having sex with someone and they die half way through, is it acceptable to finish off before phoning the ambulance or should you dial 999 and "race" the ambulance?
finally an easy one:
finish, fone the ambulance then start again and race the impending arrival of the paramedics.
i was doing a bird who started crying half way through, i proper shit myself and thought i had raped her or summat. we stopped (obviously) and as she was was getting dressed a load of her money fell out of her pocket, i handed the money back to her and said "here's your money"
well, she started bawling even harder and through her tears she wailed "ive never don it for money before blah blah balh wahh waaaah" i didnt know whether to laugh of cry!!
was only about £5.23, she wasnt impressed when i told her she was worth more than that!!0 -
Why did I never get the chance to have a big drty orgy with my ex, her sister and thier mum? they were all kinda hot!Giant Reign - now sold :-(
Rockhopper Pro - XC and commuting
DH8 - New toy :-)0 -
bannedbiker wrote:Why did I never get the chance to have a big drty orgy with my ex, her sister and thier mum? they were all kinda hot!
because you are gay.0 -
sheepsteeth wrote:bannedbiker wrote:Why did I never get the chance to have a big drty orgy with my ex, her sister and thier mum? they were all kinda hot!
because you are gay.
Ah I see.
Think I might need a second opinion on this one, mcgee?Giant Reign - now sold :-(
Rockhopper Pro - XC and commuting
DH8 - New toy :-)0 -
They didn't think you were man enough to be up to the task. Apparently.bannedbiker wrote:Why did I never get the chance to have a big drty orgy with my ex, her sister and thier mum? they were all kinda hot!
That's what they explained when they called me in anyway.0 -
also, yeehaa already passed judgement in the kelly brook thread:yeehaamcgee wrote:
Nothing wrong with it, it's just natural.bannedbiker wrote:99% of photo's of her make me think wrong things
What's wrong with you, are you a gay or something?0 -
Dear Sheeps & McGee
Why, whenever I have an itchy c0ck, do i end up feeling really good about myself and getting damp?
Yours
Compo0 -
Because of the satisfaction of remembering the events that led to an itchy cokc.
And your roof is leaking.0 -
This thread is Genius! I like bikes and stuff0
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yeehaamcgee wrote:Because of the satisfaction of remembering the events that led to an itchy cokc.
And your roof is leaking.
I'll fetch a plumber then to get rid of this liquid, or is it best to DIY?0 -
Unless you can get a plumber that looks like thiscompo wrote:yeehaamcgee wrote:Because of the satisfaction of remembering the events that led to an itchy cokc.
And your roof is leaking.
I'll fetch a plumber then to get rid of this liquid, or is it best to DIY?
Then DIY, with a lime, string, and all the obvious necessaries is better.0 -
thats some more exceptional work there yeehaa.
its good to have the opportunity to help isnt it.0 -
Gavin from Autoglasssaid he wants to come round and fill my crack with his special resin. Is there anything I should do to prepare?0
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its always a good idea to start gently and be well prepared.
1- have a hot bath, soften the whole area up a bit
2- get lots of lube, i recommend rock salt
3- start with a smaller applicator for the resin then work your way up to the full size rolled up persion carpet sized applicator.
4- and most importantly, have fun.0 -
yeehaamcgee wrote:
Unless you can get a plumber that looks like thiscompo wrote:yeehaamcgee wrote:Because of the satisfaction of remembering the events that led to an itchy cokc.
And your roof is leaking.
I'll fetch a plumber then to get rid of this liquid, or is it best to DIY?
Then DIY, with a lime, string, and all the obvious necessaries is better.
Is tshe in your cupboard yeehaamcgee?0 -
Dear Aunties,
Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart...0
