Phil & Paul's Cycling Cliche Bingo

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Comments

  • takethehighroad
    takethehighroad Posts: 6,821
    There were plenty of hammers going down yesterday, as well as Frank.

    Also, Phil waited until the GC standings before telling the Jean Stablinski story, which was a little disappointing
  • neilmacd
    neilmacd Posts: 128
    Plenty of pain being dished out by Sherwen yesterday - mainly to my lugs.
    He talks a fair amount of crap during his commentary. By the time he's 70odds he'll be like Duffield I reckon
    Scott CR1 Team
    Bitsa training bike. Bitsa this Bitsa that.......
    I'd rather quit than buy from Halfords
  • Kléber
    Kléber Posts: 6,842
    Sherwen's just retweeted this on twitter
    TDF time everyone decides they could do better Job at commentating - my words shut up till you've tried it and seen how hard it actually is
    oooooooooh! :wink:
  • neilmacd
    neilmacd Posts: 128
    Ms Tree wrote:
    I've just watched the ITV highlights and Liggitt said 'Leakygas'!!!!! Screams :o

    Heard that one - My wife reckons I suffer from that a lot :wink:
    Scott CR1 Team
    Bitsa training bike. Bitsa this Bitsa that.......
    I'd rather quit than buy from Halfords
  • pedro118118
    pedro118118 Posts: 1,102
    Thank God we're out of Holland/Belgium. At lease we can now be spared endless drivel about 'death valley'!

    So far, their repetoir seems exhausted - burrying himself, 'Big' Thor/Jens/Tom/George, heads of state etc etc...........they've all been there.
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    Kléber wrote:
    Sherwen's just retweeted this on twitter
    TDF time everyone decides they could do better Job at commentating - my words shut up till you've tried it and seen how hard it actually is
    oooooooooh! :wink:

    Gizza job.
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • gethmetal
    gethmetal Posts: 208
    Today, 1440 GMT, Phil Ligature :- "The riders are coming up to a feeding station. People have asked us, 'what IS a feeding station?' Well, it's a feeding station really..."

    Staggeringly lame.
  • graeme_s-2
    graeme_s-2 Posts: 3,382
    gethmetal wrote:
    Today, 1440 GMT, Phil Ligature :- "The riders are coming up to a feeding station. People have asked us, 'what IS a feeding station?' Well, it's a feeding station really..."

    Staggeringly lame.
    Yep, I thought that was amazing :lol:
  • Cleat Eastwood
    Cleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
    Turn the sound down dudes if you dont like it. I think they do a great job especially on the longeurs. Some cracking shots of great countryside. :)
    The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
    momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.
  • gethmetal
    gethmetal Posts: 208
    Cleat Eastwood wrote:
    Turn the sound down dudes if you dont like it. I think they do a great job especially on the longeurs. Some cracking shots of great countryside. :)

    I'd say they do a barely adequate job. If I don't like it I'll log in here and extract urine, as I believe that's what this thread is for...
    The countryside shots are fantastic, I grant you.
  • RichR2
    RichR2 Posts: 131
    From the other day as the breakaway was being caught

    ......the kill is just over the hill...............
  • georgee
    georgee Posts: 537
    Has no one uncovered the highlight of the Pave stage, I only got around to watching the highlights.

    'Armstrong loves the cobbles, he always performs well on them'

    That's why the fraud avoids them like the plague and has barely ever raced on them. And also how come in the any major incident with anyone of note going down, they can't spot the major story and start going on about the history of some minor rider and some useless waffle about where in Belgium he comes from! fuckwits the pair of them!
  • secretsqizz
    secretsqizz Posts: 424
    gethmetal wrote:
    Cleat Eastwood wrote:
    Turn the sound down dudes if you dont like it. I think they do a great job especially on the longeurs. Some cracking shots of great countryside. :)

    I'd say they do a barely adequate job. If I don't like it I'll log in here and extract urine, as I believe that's what this thread is for...
    The countryside shots are fantastic, I grant you.

    the tv footage is not under their control thank the Lord... if it were we'd probably have studied lingering shots of contents of musettes
    My pen won't write on the screen
  • mercsport
    mercsport Posts: 664
    Have only been watching the ITV4 highlights this year, but have been listening to P & P from whenever it was that bike racing got to be on the telly at this time of year. I'll tell you what though, in all that time one bit of -on the face of it - harmless terminology from Phil has always niggled me and that is when he refers to grown men as "boys", "...the boys from Milram are really ...." , "..the Quick-Step boys are laying the hammer down", and so on. Most, if not all of the peloton are men over the age of 21 yet Phil is forever going on about the "boys in the peloton", and cannot bring himself to declare that sometimes boys grow into men(..mostly. I confess that nowadays I'm often given to wonder). Nonetheless, implicit in Phil's utterances is the assumption that professional bike racing is a job for 'boys'. Children, in fact.

    Before the highlights last night 'BSB -superbikes' was on, and I didn't hear any dialogue about 'boys' despite the fact that they all appeared to be scrawny and short.

    Next up -perhaps its because the highlights is a condensed 'day', but last night Paul began to grate with his incessant use of "...turn UP the screws", which is a phrase I've never come across before. 'Turn ON the screws' I have heard of.

    Still, for a fact, the pair of them do a good job having to over-excitably babble on all day, it must be ruddy torture. Although, on my infrequent acquaintance with Eurosport the urbane Dave Harmon makes it seem dead easy. A cool dude.
    "Lick My Decals Off, Baby"
  • symo
    symo Posts: 1,743
    "...they call him Ale-Jet because of his speed". Really> I mean Really not La Diesel?
    +++++++++++++++++++++
    we are the proud, the few, Descendents.

    Panama - finally putting a nail in the economic theory of the trickle down effect.
  • takethehighroad
    takethehighroad Posts: 6,821
    georgee wrote:
    Has no one uncovered the highlight of the Pave stage, I only got around to watching the highlights.

    'Armstrong loves the cobbles, he always performs well on them'

    That's why the fraud avoids them like the plague and has barely ever raced on them. And also how come in the any major incident with anyone of note going down, they can't spot the major story and start going on about the history of some minor rider and some useless waffle about where in Belgium he comes from! fuckwits the pair of them!

    I'm sorry, I'm the last person to ever defend His TwitnessTM but he did Flanders this year for one (came 27th) and his bike handling skills and technique are such that he does do well on cobbles, when he has a go at them.
  • timmarshall
    timmarshall Posts: 5
    Eurosport guys are currently discussing whether saddles should be individual to riders, with respect to which side you package sits while riding. a new low for commentary i think
  • greasedscotsman
    greasedscotsman Posts: 6,962
    Top line from Paul today...

    Jurgen Van De Walle has hit the Walle...
  • pedro118118
    pedro118118 Posts: 1,102
    I think they're OK, but in their desperate attempts to create tension/excitement, they often say things that make them look foolish just a few seconds later, such as, "One thing is for sure, Lance Armsrtong is out of contention because of bad luck, not bad form" - just as he dissapears backwards from the lead group etc.

    Again, all pandering to the US audience.
  • natrix
    natrix Posts: 1,111
    greasedscotsman wrote:
    Top line from Paul today...

    Jurgen Van De Walle has hit the Walle...

    I'm so glad that I taped this stage, it meant that I could listen to this again and again!! :D
    ~~~~~~Sustrans - Join the Movement~~~~~~
  • inseine
    inseine Posts: 5,788
    What's their sudden fascination with Easton wheels? I've heard them mention them a couple of times and they don't usually talk about equipement. Not like it's relavent either, "there goes so and so on his Easton wheels....".
    http://cyclinganddesign.blogspot.fr/
  • pedro118118
    pedro118118 Posts: 1,102
    inseine wrote:
    What's their sudden fascination with Easton wheels? I've heard them mention them a couple of times and they don't usually talk about equipement. Not like it's relavent either, "there goes so and so on his Easton wheels....".

    Yeah, I noticed that? It's not even as if these wheels were special/stood-out in any way. They've made a special effort to shoe-horn Easton wheels into the commentary a few times, when talking about Evans/Hincapie. Very odd.
  • Petit Braquet
    Petit Braquet Posts: 2
    I'm most taken with this year's competition to see who can come up with the highest number of variations of pronunciation of "Vinokourov" Neither has used the same pronunciation two times running, which is an impressive acheivement.
  • gregssmirkingrevenge
    gregssmirkingrevenge Posts: 64
    Phil and Paul are abit moronic and repetitive in their commentary but aside from their distinctive idiosyncrasies they come up with some classic stuff.

    "Lance Armstrong took a long look in to the face of Jan Ulrich and said 'Well, are you coming or not?' and the answer is not!"

    "His legs are shouting bridge to engine room, more power!...... and there is none..."

    Haven't heard any referencing to the yellow jersey as the 'golden fleece' this year or of its capacity grant the bearer 'the strength of ten men'.
    I've been watching eurosport for HD purposes but their main guy just seems to be a crappy, partridge-esque imitation of Phliggot and Swerwine. Today he delivered a completely butchered reworking of Paul's famous 'putting down of the hammer' riff referencing Chris Anker Sorenson reaching for his 'enormous bulk hammer' while he was straining at the front. It was as though he caught himself midway through and rather lost conviction in his sherwinian analogy! More informed maybe, but not nearly as creative and entertaining.
  • ynyswen24
    ynyswen24 Posts: 703
    probably Dave Harmon making an in depth reference to the well known figure of myth - The Man With The Hammer
  • gurufred
    gurufred Posts: 3
    The fact that this is "Big" George Hincape's 15th Tour (5) and that the only person to exceed this was Joop Zoetemelk (5)

    Despite their repetition and cliches I do still enjoy Phil and Paul, and would much rather watch them than sit through Sean Kelly saying "ummm" every other word
  • skavanagh.bikeradar
    skavanagh.bikeradar Posts: 1,097
    The more unpredicatable the racing and the fewer English speaking riders in contention the better their comments are. But they still cliche their way through it. Apparently Vok-ler(sic) is the French Champion. Current annonyances:

    "It takes a special bike rider to ride like this in front of the peleton Phil, and this is a special bike rider."

    PL: He's really putting the hammer down now Paul, and the other riders in the this group are on the rivet. Look at the face of <name>!
    PS: Yes Phil, he's really putting down the hammer and the other riders are - as we say in the sport of professional cycling - on the rivet. You can see it in their faces.

    Having said all this my wife likes them. And this I suspect is who Phil and Paul are aiming at.
  • turkeytickler
    turkeytickler Posts: 640
    Today, in relation to a fast descent from a Pyrennean summit, "don't try this at home".... :lol:
  • blazing_saddles
    blazing_saddles Posts: 22,725
    Who on ITV4 said, today, that Schleck should keep his revenge cool in the fridge of his hotel room for another 48 hours? :oops: :shock: :lol:
    "Science is a tool for cheaters". An anonymous French PE teacher.
  • secretsqirrel
    secretsqirrel Posts: 2,123
    Blazing Saddles wrote:
    Who on ITV4 said, today, that Schleck should keep his revenge cool in the fridge of his hotel room for another 48 hours? :oops: :shock: :lol:

    That's amazing :shock:

    I haven't watched the P & P show for many years, but caught a bit while visiting a friend earlier. I wasn't paying full attention but I'm sure that one of them commented that a rider had cramp in his 'back legs'?

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