Phil & Paul's Cycling Cliche Bingo

steve_pushbiker
steve_pushbiker Posts: 91
edited July 2010 in Pro race
This may have been done before... but when you watch the TdF this year how many of Phil & Paul's cliche will you hear?

1) "Big". As a prefix to Jens Voigt or George Hincapie or whoever. 1 point. 2 points if the rider is not very big.
3) "This afternoon". As in the Quick Step team are in the mood to chase down this break this afternoon. 0.5 point.
4) "The sprinters will be licking their lips". 1 point.
5) "In the red zone/putting the hammer down". 1 point.
6) "The belgian/dutch/basque fans know their sport of professional cycling". 2 point.

Any other suggestions?
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Comments

  • Bronzie
    Bronzie Posts: 4,927
    "Digging deep into the suitcase of courage" - 5 pts
    It's a Lifestyle! -+-+- Coggan Training Levels
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    "bike race" 0.1 pts

    A newer one from 2008 "The heads of state of the Tour de France" 3 pts

    "And his name is..." 2 pts

    The one that makes me froth with rage every time I hear it is "Sammy Sanchez" but he's not riding this year.
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • Bronzie
    Bronzie Posts: 4,927
    disgruntledgoat wrote:
    The one that makes me froth with rage every time I hear it is "Sammy Sanchez" but he's not riding this year.
    That may not be enough to stop them using it
    It's a Lifestyle! -+-+- Coggan Training Levels
  • steve_pushbiker
    steve_pushbiker Posts: 91
    Speaking of cringing at a phrase, and he's also not riding...

    Michael Boogerd the boogeyman of Holland.
  • cyclistbruce
    cyclistbruce Posts: 88
    I always think of Phils "He's dancing on his pedals" as I'm grinding up a small slope somewhere!!
  • edhornby
    edhornby Posts: 1,780
    is it worth adding points for use of the word 'literally' when it proceeds a metaphor ?

    they are literally eating up the roads here Phil !!
    "I get paid to make other people suffer on my wheel, how good is that"
    --Jens Voight
  • steve_pushbiker
    steve_pushbiker Posts: 91
    That's got to be worth 5 points.

    "He's cracked Phil" "He's going backwards" "He's got a puncture in both legs" 1 point for any of those.
  • reverendmark
    reverendmark Posts: 67
    "Champion of New Zealand, Julian Dean" (3pts)
  • Allez Mark
    Allez Mark Posts: 364
    Denny Menchov 1pt
    On the rivet 1pt
  • chriskempton
    chriskempton Posts: 1,245
    "He's pedalling squares"
    "He got himself to the foot of this mounntain, and now he's sprouted wings"
    "He's turning himself inside out to ride the time trial of his life"
    "There you go, never trust a Dutchman"
    etc
  • jswba
    jswba Posts: 491
    "He's riding the Time Trial of his life"
    "The French know it as contre la montre: against the clock, Phil"
  • takethehighroad
    takethehighroad Posts: 6,811
    "They call it the race of truth, as it really sorts the men from the boys"

    "There goes my mate Lance"

    Any mention of Lance's career as he's going out the back on a mountain e.g. "That's a sad end to a glittering career" etc.
  • steve_pushbiker
    steve_pushbiker Posts: 91
    chriskempton/jswba: Paul always says INDIVIDUAL time trial. This should be worth 0.5 point, I reckon. But 5 points in a year where there is no team time trial.
  • cswebbo
    cswebbo Posts: 220
    'Every Second Counts' when Lance is time trialling on Saturday.
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    Add points every time Paul mentions hydro-electric dams ("The French are very big on hydroelecrics, Phil...")
  • El Imbatido
    El Imbatido Posts: 144
    What about those imaginary conversations Paul makes riders have:

    "And Carlos Sastre has said to Cadel Evans, if you want to win this bike race your going to have to keep up with me" :lol:


    And any mention of Pauls secret formula for sprinters teams reeling in the breakaway
    "1 min for every 10km" :wink:
    Do you have any Therapeutic Use Exemptions?
    No. Never have.
    Never? What about the cortisone?
    Well, obviously there was the cortisone
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    CHRISNOIR wrote:
    Add points every time Paul mentions hydro-electric dams ("The French are very big on hydroelecrics, Phil...")

    I too have often wondered if he has shares.

    "Those flags are being waved by the Spanish. Except they're not Spanish, they're Basque"
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • Simon Notley
    Simon Notley Posts: 1,263
    Any kind of animal noises should be worth 10 points. This has only occured once to my memory in converstaion that went something like:

    Paul: "We're passing a mass of black rocks now. The locals call this rock formation the black cat, as apparently from certain angles that is what it looks like"

    Phil: "Meow. Now xxx has come to the front..."

    Also, any reference to "pumping" or "pistons" or "engines" when referring to legs should be worth 1pt. The entire phrase "those pistons that we call legs" should be worth 5.
  • steve_pushbiker
    steve_pushbiker Posts: 91
    The final 1km is always "one thousand metres". 5 points for this one.
  • teagar
    teagar Posts: 2,100
    Obligatory bastille day cliches on July 14th.
    Note: the above post is an opinion and not fact. It might be a lie.
  • RichN95.
    RichN95. Posts: 27,241
    During the climb of the Tourmalet, the Eugene Christophe story gets another airing. 3 points.
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    The use of the noun "podium" as a verb.

    "He'll be looking to podium at the very least." (0.1 points, as it happens at least twice a stage)

    Any other noun used as a verb for the first time (7 points).

    e.g. Jersey
    "180 men will start this year's Tour de France, but only 4 will jersey."

    Bidon
    "Bradley Wiggins drops back to the car to bidon up his team."
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    Double points all round when they're wearing matching shirts.

    Add five for information about a castle sniggeringly read from a guidebook.
  • skavanagh.bikeradar
    skavanagh.bikeradar Posts: 1,097
    He's wrestling his machine - 0.5pt
    He's all over his machine - 1pt (it's rarer)
    Both of the above in same sentence - 2pts
    He's the man they call <name of rider> - 0.5pt
    Paul reads from the Tour guide about a medieval castle robotically - 1pt
  • jswba
    jswba Posts: 491
    5 pts for any mention of Paul's mine (bonus 2pts for shot of Paul in peculiar floppy white headgear)

    10pts Phil mentions email requests for classic TdF theme tune followed by 30 second blast accompanied by obligatory shots of sunflower fields, castles etc.
  • Spawn of Cabbie
    Spawn of Cabbie Posts: 382
    ...In the sport of professional bike racing...

    I dunno, 0.0003 points? Should have at least 1000 points come Ventoux.
  • takethehighroad
    takethehighroad Posts: 6,811
    RichN95 wrote:
    During the climb of the Tourmalet, the Eugene Christophe story gets another airing. 3 points.

    Nah, it will be on the Aspin this year, they descend into St Marie de Campin before climbing the Tourmalet.

    If it's twinned with a mention of the Yellow Jersey's 80th anniversary, 10 points.
  • edhornby
    edhornby Posts: 1,780
    2pts - sychophantic comment from Phil to Paul about his descending ability, or a 5th place on the Champs Elysees
    "I get paid to make other people suffer on my wheel, how good is that"
    --Jens Voight
  • magliaceleste
    magliaceleste Posts: 748
    Always mentioning Julian Dean (in his national NZ champion jersey).
  • Harry B
    Harry B Posts: 1,239
    "we went over this hill this morning and I can tell you its not easy"
    www.justgiving.com/thetwodaves

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