Corrupt a Wish

lawman

well tough cos so are the rest of us

i wish i had another beer in my hand

grandad3

you get a beer but it tastes of cat piss

i wish two blond lesbians will knock on my bedroom door tonight

rwalworth

Two blonde lesbians knock on your door, but they are pat butcher and anne widecombe

I wish my car worked

Thewaylander

Your car works again, to be stolen for a joy ride and written off.

I wish i had a pet monkey so i could teach it to flip people the bird..

Chaz.Harding

Your pet monkey flips you the bird, kicks you in the nuts, steals your wallet, eats it, and runs off.

I wish I could stop and start time :shock: 8)

M1llh0use

you can stop and start time but have no control over it causing everyone to appear to have a stutter driving you mad.


I wish for world peace. (or a big pile of cash)

77ric

you get world peace. but only after North Korea start a nuclear war destroying all life with the exception of you and some cockroaches (rendering your big pile of cash useless).


I wish I could ride for longer distances.

M1llh0use

you can ride for longer distances,




on long straight boring, featureless roads.








i wish that north korea disappeared from the face of the planet!

stevet1992

M1llh0use wrote:

you can ride for longer distances,




on long straight boring, featureless roads.








i wish that north korea disappeared from the face of the planet!

north korea disappers to mars but takes you with it

i wish i could get to sleep ...

Furbes

You get to sleep ... Beside Nora Batty !

I wish i was married to Jessica Simpson .

77ric

one night in Las Vegas while drunk you meet a drunk Jessica Simpson, you decide too get married at elvis' 2 miute marriage shack. you awake in the morning to find you've actually married Homer Simpson, thanks to the beer goggles.

i wish it wasn't 28º in my flat right now at 23.38.

pirwin1

It's not 28 degrees in your flat, it's 40 degrees!

I wish I had a teleportation machine.

lawman

you do have a teleportation machine but it takes you to anne robinsons private nudist beach, which is full of naked old grannies and gingers

i wish my bike lost a couple of pounds and got some forks that work

2tired2ride

Your bike loses a few pounds only to snap in half as you are pedaling out of your drive for yout first ride.

I wish to pass all my A levels

Thewaylander

You pass your A'levels... then all results are lost so you have to them again and you fail!

I wish i wasn't in work and was at home fixing my bike in the sun.

cat_with_no_tail

you dont have to work because you are fired, and you are at home fixing your bike, but your bike is a shockwave, halfrauds special made entirely of swiss cheese


I wish could get a promotion at work and get paid 10x more for doing 10x less work.

fred1star

Your boss calls you into the office... he offers you the pay rise your after but on the condition you lick marmite of his todger... you accept the pay rise...

I wish I was injury free to hit the trails

M1llh0use

you are injury free to hit the trails.......


with your face, ending up injured.



i wish i wasn't at work so i could go a nd buy some new spd shoes

ramemtbers

your work is canncelled so you go to buy your spd shoes but as you do somebody else buys them just before.

i wish i could make sense of disc brake adaptors and what one i need

pirwin1

You can make sense of disc brake adaptors, and finally figure out which one you need! But every bike shop on the planet is out of stock so you can't get it.

I wish my bit torrent was faster.

cjw

Your bit torrent is now very fast as the police have been tracing your strange porn downloads ensuring that you download everything you tried to set up a perfect case (they are about to knock on your door).

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow.

IcarusGreen

You don't have work tomoz, because your unemployed and had to sell you MTB for food.

I wish I was so intellegent that I didn't struggle with my exams

grandad3

you are the brightest human in the world, unfortunately your lights gone out and you cant read the exam paper and fail miserably, sorry he hee

I would like to go back in time and meet joan of arc and take her to bed

M1llh0use

you meet joan of arc and take her to bed, only to find out she "only wants to be friends"

i wish susan boyle was sectioned

IcarusGreen

SuBo is sectioned but you share her padded cell and both have to be naked t all times.

I wish my new bike would turn up

cat_with_no_tail

Your new bike does turn up, but it appears to have been trampled on by a herd of large elephants before being doused with petrol and set on fire.

I wish Big Brother was cancelled for good and replaced with something worth watching.

The Northern Monkey

it wasn't cancelled and your a contestant.

I wish that my flat mate would feck off.

cat_with_no_tail

your flat mate fecks off, he also takes with him, your bike, your tv, all your money, your bird, and your mum.


I wish I wasnt so tired and bored.

fred1star

You pop a can of red bull and Susan Boyle appears on TV to relieve your boredom... only to find out Susan is your mum and you become a double act.. :?

I wish Susan Boyle was my mum....

pirwin1

You're not tired and bored at all, but that's because you're dead.


I wish I had a helmet cam.