Corrupt a Wish

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  • snotty badger
    snotty badger Posts: 1,593
    Your pizza arrives, with added chefs special sauce!


    Wish I didn't have to tidy the house...
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    You go out for a ride instead of tidying the house. But on returning you find it's been destroyed by a stray missile during live weapons testing.

    I wish I was invulnerable.
  • cat_with_no_tail
    cat_with_no_tail Posts: 12,981
    You have a little more money and are invulnerable.....to everything apart from Limes and string. And Russian Circus clowns.

    I wish people would just give me money for nothing so I could spend my days riding my bike.
    "Avan-TT"
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    In a bizarre twist of fate, you end up being paid for riding your bike. That is to say, the Russian clowns use you on your bike in a giant hamster wheel to power their empire. They pay you by allowing you to carry on living.

    I wish I had some limes and a string.
  • M1llh0use
    M1llh0use Posts: 863
    you spend all your days riding your bike but i causes you a nasty case of piles that you continue riding with but they burst and you bleed to death.



    i wish my broken bones would heal faster so i can get out and ride again...
    {insert smartarse comment here}
  • snotty badger
    snotty badger Posts: 1,593
    yeehaamcgee wrote:
    I wish I had some limes and a string.

    You find some limes and a string- unfortunatly the clowns have streched your rectum so much a lime won't touch the sides.

    M1llh0use wrote:
    i wish my broken bones would heal faster so i can get out and ride again...

    Your bones heal in the next 24hrs- unfortunatly on your next ride out the clowns abduct you, seeing as yeehaas bum hole is like a wizards sleeve.


    I wish them pesky clowns would sod off....
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  • joshtp
    joshtp Posts: 3,966
    the pesky clowns sod off, but leave behind them a trail of destruction, that unfortunately has no flow, and isnt worth riding.

    i wish i had sweet trials bike skills so i can ride me new bike like it should be, like danny mac....
    I like bikes and stuff
  • cat_with_no_tail
    cat_with_no_tail Posts: 12,981
    You have sweet trails bike skills and ride like Danny Mac, Daniel Macpherson that is. (thank you google).

    I wish people would stop letting these ace threads die.
    "Avan-TT"
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  • jay12
    jay12 Posts: 6,306
    people stop letting these ace threads die but eventually all threads die and the CC is deserted

    i wish my headphones weren't broken :(
    KINESIS PHA5E WIP

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  • lawman
    lawman Posts: 6,868
    People do stop letting these threads die, but you spend the rest of your life trying to find all the epic threads that died, so you have no time to see the epicness unfold

    I wish I had enough money to get out my shitty job and move to whistler, set up my own bike shop and build my own bikes, exactly to my perfect spec ...
  • cat_with_no_tail
    cat_with_no_tail Posts: 12,981
    You have enough money to get out my shitty job and move to whistler, set up your own bike shop and build your own bikes, exactly to your perfect spec ... but you are so busy during the season you never get to ride any of them.
    Then in winter, the russian circus comes to town!!!

    I wish I didn't have to work today, so I could go out and ride my bike whilst still getting paid. With no bad things happening and no russian (or otherwise) clowns involved.
    "Avan-TT"
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  • Kaise
    Kaise Posts: 2,498
    You are allowed to ride you bike all day and getting paid without having to work today, and you will not encounter any russians or clowns on your day, but tomorrow you have to work, as a macerator cleaning techncian working on macerators used on construction sites in rusholme, manchester where every builder only eats curry.

    I wish i had the winning lottery numbers for the euro millions so i could help people in need, as well as helping myself
    :)Ragley Blue Pig
    :twisted: Spesh Demo 8 II
  • homers_double
    homers_double Posts: 8,134
    You win the lotto, give a chunk to cancer research, then in twist of irony get cancer and die a horrible slow painfull death.

    I wish things would just go to plan.
    Advocate of disc brakes.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    Things go according to plan, but not your plan, the plan of an evil genius, with an army of ninja squirrels, who track you down and kill you in an embarrassing manner. Still, at least it's a suitable death for a cruddite, as your body is found in a ditch with it's head on backwards, and every orifice is crammed with limes.

    I wish I had a flying sea urchin called Linda, who'd do all my evil bidding.
  • cat_with_no_tail
    cat_with_no_tail Posts: 12,981
    You get your flying sea urchin called Linda, who does all your evil bidding. However, being a sea urchin, Linda has no opposable thumbs, so is not much use for any evil deeds that require gripping things.

    I wish I had an army of crabs to eat yeehaas magic urchin.



    No, wait, I'm not sure I want crabs after all.
    "Avan-TT"
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  • Kaise
    Kaise Posts: 2,498
    you made your wish and your army of crabs eat linda the flying sea urchin, but as they do are poisoned by all the evil the linda contains because of all her evil doings and you inturn are infected with the evil as they nest in your pubes, the evil manifests itself into bad aids, really bad aids!

    I wish i had a puncture free life
    :)Ragley Blue Pig
    :twisted: Spesh Demo 8 II
  • joshtp
    joshtp Posts: 3,966
    you have a puncture free life, but instead of punctures you get constant chain breakages so it takes you a week to get home.

    I wish I had a full face helmet, and It wasn't raining
    I like bikes and stuff
  • bluechair84
    bluechair84 Posts: 4,352
    edited April 2011
    you get your puncture free life however in a horrific cycling accident you have a collapsed lung, and every time the doctor stabs you in the chest with a needle to fix your ailment, Stan's No-Flats Chest Mucus seals it up until you slip these mortal confines with a rather poked torso...

    I wish to have a zephyrgunship to cruise around in.




    edit: Aaaah bollocks. Thought that was a good twist.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    joshtp wrote:
    you have a puncture free life, but instead of punctures you get constant chain breakages so it takes you a week to get home.

    I wish I had a full face helmet, and It wasn't raining
    You have a complete face, you're not Jewish, and the sun is shining, and will never stop, since the sun is going supernova. AND you've become an Albino, and are incredibly prone to sunburn.

    I wish I could market my idea of banana shaped oranges to people who AREN'T insane.
  • Kaise
    Kaise Posts: 2,498
    yeehaamcgee wrote:
    I wish I could market my idea of banana shaped oranges to people who AREN'T insane.

    you successfully market the idea of banana shaped oranges to the sane people of the world and they become very popular, but in a strange twist the orange shaped banana is put on the market by deborah meaden and becomes even more popular, rendering the banana shaped orange unwanted and mouldy, you in turn end up broke, homless and being bummed by an aids riddled tramp!

    I wish it was friday!
    :)Ragley Blue Pig
    :twisted: Spesh Demo 8 II
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    A magic fairy grants your wish, and turns every day from now on into Friday. Of course, that means no more weekends, or bank holiday Mondays. Or Payday.

    I wish someone would go and kill this Deborah Meaden for what she did to my idea (whoever she is) :evil:
  • joshtp
    joshtp Posts: 3,966
    It is friday, but some stupid 13 year old girl keeps singing about it.

    I wish I could fly
    I like bikes and stuff
  • Clank
    Clank Posts: 2,323
    You develop the power of flight, only to be sucked into the engines of a personal jet, owned by some teenage pop senstation singing s**t songs about Fridays. You manage to escape only to plummet to earth. The rest of your days are spent in an iron lung, wondering why the nurses kisses taste so salty.

    I wish the world would lay down it's weapons and live in peace. I could take over the damned planet armed only with a butter knife.
    How would I write my own epitaph? With a crayon - I'm not allowed anything I can sharpen to a sustainable point.

    Disclaimer: Opinions expressed herein are worth exactly what you paid for them.
  • joshtp
    joshtp Posts: 3,966
    the world lay down their weapons and you take over armed with nothing but a butter knife.. however, in a bizare turn of events your butter knife turns on you, castrating your testicles.

    I wish I was cool
    I like bikes and stuff
  • addivllangirb
    addivllangirb Posts: 322
    joshtp wrote:
    the world lay down their weapons and you take over armed with nothing but a butter knife.. however, in a bizare turn of events your butter knife turns on you, castrating your testicles.

    I wish I was cool

    You are cool, so cool you get frostbite and your necessary falls off. I wish for a simple life.
    Eldridge Grade 08
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    You become retarded and can only say "potato".

    I wish I had potato potatos to make some chips to go with this pie. hmm.
  • lawman
    lawman Posts: 6,868
    you do have potato potatoes to go with your pie, but accidently cut off you penis in a horrific potato peeler related accident.

    i wish i could swap my mojo HD for a new mojo slr in orange with all shiny new 2012 xt stuff ... (i think i need help :lol:)
  • joshtp
    joshtp Posts: 3,966
    you can swap it all for anything you wish... but your legs get cut off in a violent chain whip accident and you cannot ride...

    I wish I had more than 1 slice of pizza left
    I like bikes and stuff
  • cat_with_no_tail
    cat_with_no_tail Posts: 12,981
    You have many slices of pizza left, it's all vegitarian pizza with imitation cheese.

    I wish I could go do the Mega Avalanche this year
    "Avan-TT"
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  • bluechair84
    bluechair84 Posts: 4,352
    Your wish is granted, but you fly there and that is the chunk of pollution that broke the camels back plunging us into an ice age... and you didn't take spiked tyres! Nooo!

    I wish I had an awesome trail hound to come riding with me.
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