Corrupt a Wish

cat_with_no_tail

You are the king of schwing, but your speech defect prevents you from ever getting laid

I wish I was better at DH

xstrathyx

your DH skills are improving. However, sadly you face plant the rear end of Coco the russian clown.

You know the rest...................

I wish i had a new job

thekickingmule

You get a new job, but involves you going to northern most canada selling snow to eskimos, however the recessions hit hard, so they can't buy it at usual retail value, and you go end up making the firm you work for go bankrupt, leaving you stranded there, hunting for penguins for food the rest of your life (good luck with that)

I wish the end of May would come sooner

hoochylala

The end of May will come sooner, but on the 1st day of June you will wish it was the begining of May again.

I wish i was a little bit taller.....

Hercule Q

your a little bit taller but then some psycho runs past and cuts your legs off with a sword

i wish i had a bigger sandwich

Gazlar

but the bigger sandwich turns out to be you, sandwiched between Jo Brand and Hevva from Eastenders

I wish that I could bag Konnie Huq

Splottboy

There, you and Connie have got - it - together!

She was decked out in Sussys, basque, high heels, full tarty but horny makeup.

But you couldn't get the lid off the Viagra bottle!

MY GO: I wish, I wish, I wish I might, get all my hair from the 70's returned to me, tonite!

Gazlar

You do get all your hair from the 70s returned, just the wrong way round, so you end up with a head full of luxuriant pubic bush

I wish that people stopped making jump on the bandwagon political statements on their facebook page when they know diddly squat about politics


oh and by the way, you didn't really corrupt my wish, because there is no way i would need the old blue pills if konnie came knocking, and especially as you described her, I already had to hit it on the head with a cold spoon to make it go down

rogue pieman

People continue to put political statements on their Facebook statues, except this time they know everything there is to know about politics. You created a whole planet of politicians, and the human race drowns in a tidal wave of pure bull sh!t.

I wish my boss would leave me alone so I can just get on with my job.

thekickingmule

Your boss does leave you alone to get on with your job, however, now your boss never gives you more work to do, so eventually you lose your job.

I wish I didn't have to edit a recording for my friend.

cat_with_no_tail

You dont have to edit a recording for a friend, because you have no friends. You spend your life alone, like a hermit in a sad, lonely pathetic excuse of an existance. One day some russian circus clowns come round and put you out of your misery.

I wish the 456 carbon frame was as awesome as I want it to be, and that I can afford one to swap all my existing bike bits on to with no bad things happening at all.

rubins4

A brand spanking new carbon 456 arrives and it even has a custom paint job of your dreams for no extra cost, you are the talk of the hypothetical mtbing town.

However, during the rebuild process, you some how loose the use of both your hands, rendering your now completed carbon 456 bike utterly useless to you. Unlucky.

I wish someone else could take my planning exam for me tomorrow.

stevet1992

I take your planning exam tomorrow, Pass with flying colours, But get offered a job in planning at 50k a year

I wish these rain clouds would go away

cat_with_no_tail

stevet1992 wrote:

I take your planning exam tomorrow, Pass with flying colours, But get offered a job in planning at 50k a year

I wish these rain clouds would go away

The rain clouds do go away, they are chased away by hurricane force winds that stay for the next 8months

I wish someone would wish for me

stevet1992

Cat With No Tail wrote:

stevet1992 wrote:

I take your planning exam tomorrow, Pass with flying colours, But get offered a job in planning at 50k a year

I wish these rain clouds would go away

The rain clouds do go away, they are chased away by hurricane force winds that stay for the next 8months

I wish someone would wish for me

I wish for you ... But you wake up tomorrow morning with a condom next to you and a sore arse ...

I wish for previous said hurricane winds to go away

cat_with_no_tail

Previous said hurricane winds go away, and the rain comes back

I wish I has some lube

stevet1992

Cat With No Tail wrote:

Previous said hurricane winds go away, and the rain comes back

I wish I has some lube

You have some lube ... rock salt lube ! MMMM nice !

I wish i could be bothered to get out of bed !

n.battison

You find motivation and get out of bed, but then have the worst day of your life and wish you stayed in your bed.

I wish i get a 50 today in my cricket game.

big-hitter

You do get 50!......Cricket balls to the face.

i wish i had spent time on my product design project, instead of having to do a years work in a week.... oh and no more A-level tests....EVER

jacob2910

your tests where easy but afterwards you realized you filled the in answers in German

i wish that my bike went on a diet and lost 5 kg

cat_with_no_tail

Your bike goes on a diet and loses 5kg. That 5kg comprises of the wheels and forks. Unlucky!

I wish I could invent a proper DH spec FF helmet that's as light and airy as a XC lid, but as durable as a PROPER DH lid.

gg8tcw

You invent you DH spec FF helmet, only to realise that Microsoft beat you to it, patented it and have sued you for all the money you have and will ever own in your life.


I wish I was good at mountain biking

snotty badger

You get good at biking but everyone gets even better meaning you're no better off in the end!


I wish weekends were longer!

cat_with_no_tail

Weekends are longer, but in order to make them longer, they increase the hours in a day from 24 to 240. The ensuing sleep deprivation causes insanity in many of the people, anarchy and civil unrest breaks out on a global scale.
Out of the ashes of humanity, Russian circus clowns form a new world order. You are not part of their plan and are beaten to death with a pair of clown shoes before being shot out of a cannon.

I wish these threads were stickied.

mrfmilo

This thread is stickied, but in the part of the forum only mods can access.

I wish my mate would hurry up and pay me for something he bought 1 month ago!

stuart_c-2

He pays you, in kind........


I wish the world cup would end already.

cat_with_no_tail

The world cup has ended. But it was so popular, they're going to turn it into a bi-monthly event. To be held in Harefield

I wish I didn't have to go to a parents evening tomorrow night and could go for a ride instead

bentes

You go for a ride and when you get back home you find out that the meeting place was changed to your house. And you're wearing lycra.


I wish all my wishes would come true.

cat_with_no_tail

All your wishes have just come true as you wished for me to bring this thread back from the dead.

I wish for a Dominos Pepperoni Passion, large, delivered to my house. Free of charge.

Anonymous

A Dominos Pepperoni Passion, large, is delivered to your house, free of charge, but shock horror, it's an anthrax package.

I wish I had a little more money.