Corrupt a Wish

BurtonM

you dont have a haircut, but you lose your dick and grow boobs, now your a bald woman
i wish i had a very nice downhill bike and lots of troy lee design stuff

cat_with_no_tail

You do have a very nice downhill bike and lots of TLD stuff, but you had to sell your arms and legs to get it.

I wish I could go out and ride my bike. now!

jay12

you go out and ride your bike but a ufo hovers above you and abducts your commie :twisted:

i wish i could buy an orange crush NOW!!

cat_with_no_tail

You do go and buy an Orange crush now, just as the tractor beam holding my commie fails under the immense weight and drops it right on your Crush, smashing it into a billion pieces and leaving a smouldering crater near latvia. (My commie is left unscathed)

I wish I had something to do at work today.

jay12

:evil:
you have something to do at work but then 10 naked gays come in and do their stuff on your desk

I wish my brother could get off the laptop

MacAndCheese

He's off you laptop but only because it's been knackered by an uber-virus.

I wish I had more time to build my bike

BurtonM

You have all the time in the world to build your bike. But you become paralysed from the eyebrow down so you cannot physically build it.

I wish i was having sex with a blonde stunning woman who has no inpurities or defections of anysort

cat_with_no_tail

You are having sex with a blonde stunning woman who has no inpurities or defections of anysort. She's loving it, so are you.
Right before the grand finale, her mahoosive boyfirend walks in and catches you at it. His name is Boris, he is a strongman at the local russian circus. Worst part is, he's actually quite turned on by this, and proceeds to bugger you senseless.

I wish it was a bit warmer round here. Just a little bit though, not too much, just nice and comfortably warm.

BurtonM

lol lol lol lol

fourcrossjohn

it was comfortably warm but you got sting by 30000 wasps

i wish my ankle was better

Hercule Q

your ankle is better buut upon walking down stairs you trip and fall and the resulting head injury means you've completly forgoton about mountain bikes and you live a very dull unforfilled life


i wish i could drink the stock at work

fourcrossjohn

you drink the stock at work but you become fired loose all your iq and live the remaiing 32 years sat outside fort bill blankly looking at bikes with no understanding of them

i wish i had a orange blood with whitefox 40's

jay12

you have an orange blood with white fox40s but you have your arms and legs amputed so you can't ride it + you become blind so you can't even look at it

i wish i didn't have homework

fourcrossjohn

you didnt have homework but every night you got a 300000 word essay due in the next day

Hercule Q

it appears FCJs arms falling off has prevented him from wishing

cat_with_no_tail

I wish I could just let this thread die.

MacAndCheese

You let this thread die, but in then resurrect it. again. soon you start suffering for schizophrenia because no one else is using it and you need multiple personalities to corrupt each others wishes.

I wish I didn't have a banging headache

Fully

You no longer have a banging headache, however you also no longer have a head, rendering you powerless to read this reply let alone answer it. You try riding your bike again, but keep on bumping into trees and become famous as the Headless Mtb'er of West Sussex.

I wish it was Friday...

Chaz.Harding

Fully wrote:

I wish it was Friday...

It is Friday. Actually, to be precise, it's Friday 23rd March, 2064 - you've been in a coma for over half a century. You are now a semi-retarded old man.

I wish I had the ability to choose to read women's minds...

ride_whenever

you can read womens minds, but you turn gay.

I wish the internet didn't have stuff cheaper than trade on it.

cat_with_no_tail

The internet dosent have stuff cheaper than trade on it, things are no longer sold on the internet. As a result of the lack of competition, trade prices start to creep up eventually reaching a point where no-one can afford to buy anything anymore. People result to stealing what they cant afford, or selling theirselves to the Russian Circus as sex slaves.

I wish my magicshine light wasnt broken.

xstrathyx

amazingly your magicshine light works, but sadly you had to sell your sh*tter to a Russian circus to have the light mended.

You now cannot sit down as you have been "used" 24/7 by Coco the clown, who didn't use protection and brought his mates round for some "slap and tickle"

I wish it was 4pm so i could go home and start to celebrate the new year scottish style!

cat_with_no_tail

It is now 4pm and you head off home to celebrate the new year Scottish style, sadly though, no-one told you that "Scottish style" now involves being bummed senseless by Russian clowns who call you "Rosebud"

I wish the wife hadn't left that tub of pringles on my coffee table........nom nom nom!

ramemtbers

the wife dodnt leave the tin of pringles on the cofee table, but then there was a hurricane and your fridge got blown away. then because you didnt have the pringles you starved to death.

i wish i didnt have a cold so i couldride my bike...

cat_with_no_tail

ramemtbers wrote:

i wish i didnt have a cold so i couldride my bike...

MTFU!!

That is all.

ramemtbers

agrhhhh different, cough, cough, sneeze. i feel abit better. it doesnt help my new kit came today and its sat in my room ready to be worn and ridden.

ramemtbers

i didnt know what that meant (mtfu) i am nnot fammiliar with this txt talk (oh yeah) and i just found a definition. (where do you live by the way) i am gunna hunt you down and break your bike..... :twisted:

Hercule Q

but as you neveer made a wish you nob has fallen off and you have been captured by ivan longschlongski the ring leader of the russian circus!

(i cant belive the russians have gone on this long ha ha ha)


i wish for a new hat

ramemtbers

well you get a new hat, its just ridiculously big and bright pink.

I wish the weather would become warmer and the days would last longer.

BlackSpur

the weather gets so hot that you melt in the sun.

i wish i was still going to that new years eve party tonight and not spending it with relatives