Silly commuting racing

cjcp

ride_whenever wrote:

Do i have to be commuting to play?

Or can I come down to london in september and spend all day chasing people?

I am a student so tend to have plenty of time to burn...

By all means! The more the merrier!

In fact, how about Pimm's on Embankment at a pre-arranged time?

il_principe

cjcp wrote:

Jashburnham - were you in Richmond Park this morning?

I was indeed. Did you spot me then? Had a good duel with a Yellow Cannondale in Putney (on my way home), I took him over the Bridge but he sat on my arse for a while along Fulham road before filtering traffic in a more efficient manner and then turning off. I claiming a minor victory given that I pulled him for some distance following a hard morning lap of the park. Kudos though he stuck with me at 24/25. Ate a rather lovely white Dolan track bike for breakfast on the Embankment, lost respect for him when he shuffled past at the lights and sat in front of me... was forced to scalp him again. Numerous hybrids as well this AM but really I'm not sure they count anymore.

Greg T

The Taffs have landed - there's lovely!

It is a well known fact that West London consumes 62% of the world's annual Lyrca output. It is wall to wall roadie out here. From Putney to Richmond I have to pass Four high end bike shops, the two in Sheen should be forced to have smoked glass windows as the filth they have on display is just pure bike Porn. Yes - Prologue cycles in Sheen should be forced to take the toys out of the window lest the children see them....

So then.

Most chastened after my fall from grace yesterday I decide to man up and expend some large calories on the way home.....

A lanky looking guy on a Lemond and Rabobank shorts (not me I'm a dumpy looking guy on a Lemond, apart from right now when I'm riding my Schwalbe clad, steel framed single geared (yes I KNOW IT'S NOT FECKING FIXED) tractor - but still look dumpy) - any road up - we are circling each other in the run up to Parliament Sq.... We wait until the road unwinds to Lambeth Bridge. He's spinning easy - either he's not trying or he wants to see my "action" or he's just plain slow..

I ease by

At the Roundabout he eases by onto Millbank and picks up his pace.... 22-23, "probably enough to keep Ricky Gervais on that singlie away" I hear him think.

I do him again - bit of a breeze blowing..... nice

The lights at Vauxhall bridge just turn red as I come by the Tate there's going to be a long wait, I pull back the throttles.

He skims by into the traffic....

I filter right and am level with him two or three bikes back in the mass start.

Green Light.

Text book take off - clip in first time - my big ring starts to spool and suddenly I'm heading the pack into the time trial.......

RaboBoy is somewhere behind no doubt chewing his tongue.

Brothers - I lay down sehr sehr grosse schmerzen and am imperious.... Through the lights by the old petrol station - I am pushing on and am feeling strong....

Going by the Chelsea Hospital I am eating up the time trial and still have not been challenged.

penultimate Bridge - Albert - I'm braking for the queued traffic.

Who should pop up but RaboBoy! He eases by me as we are coming up to the back of the queue, he's now two lengths ahead, we are slow and the lights change....

It's a wee slope to the lights so we are both stood up.

I do him and am away again.

He's now plainly suffering from the derision of the inner voices - as I go by the garage after the corner he flashes by and RLJs the lights. I owned him large.

Despite his serial RLJing I damn near had him on Parson's Green as well - he slipped me RLjing the lights.

ALSO

If you were the Roadie I did on Putney Bridge I'd like to apologies. No man deserves to be humiliated like that in Public. The snap of your head to the side as I went by was painful to see. Also I should have allowed you to ride me down as we went by the Duke's Head - but I didn't I (to rob a phrase of Greg66's whilst he is away) I churned your lilly white arse to butter.

I'm back in the game!

ride_whenever

cjcp wrote:

ride_whenever wrote:

Do i have to be commuting to play?

Or can I come down to london in september and spend all day chasing people?

I am a student so tend to have plenty of time to burn...

By all means! The more the merrier!

In fact, how about Pimm's on Embankment at a pre-arranged time?

And now I feel like I'm being groomed on the internet... :shock:

But sure, I should finish my summer job in early september and my mate should be back from his skiing races so I'll have somewhere to stay. This sounds like a plan, I'd better get very fit in the meantime!

cjcp

jashburnham wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Jashburnham - were you in Richmond Park this morning?

I was indeed. Did you spot me then? Had a good duel with a Yellow Cannondale in Putney (on my way home), I took him over the Bridge but he sat on my ars* for a while along Fulham road before filtering traffic in a more efficient manner and then turning off. I claiming a minor victory given that I pulled him for some distance following a hard morning lap of the park. Kudos though he stuck with me at 24/25. Ate a rather lovely white Dolan track bike for breakfast on the Embankment, lost respect for him when he shuffled past at the lights and sat in front of me... was forced to scalp him again. Numerous hybrids as well this AM but really I'm not sure they count anymore.

Yep. Spotted you coming down the hill to Kingston Gate as I was going up. Recognised you from you Dragon Ride picture.

The chap on the Cannondale was at the lights at the end of Priory Lane.

I saw a very nice Dolan track bike earlier this week through Parsons Green. Was he wearing black, a cap and shades?

Legs really not in good shape this morning after yesterday's exertions. Fended off everything until I was overtaken in the tunnel just before Southwark Bridge, but the chap was getting a draft from a Range Rover!

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

T
ALSO

If you were the Roadie I did on Putney Bridge I'd like to apologies. No man deserves to be humiliated like that in Public. The snap of your head to the side as I went by was painful to see. Also I should have allowed you to ride me down as we went by the Duke's Head - but I didn't I (to rob a phrase of Greg66's whilst he is away) I churned your lilly white ars* to butter.

I'm back in the game!

Not wanting to seem petty and proprietorial, but that's victor ludorum's phrase... and it's 'milk-white a*se churned to butter...'

Oh, that didn't work. I do seem petty and proprietorial...

ride_whenever

oooo, is drafting of motor vehicles allowed, I do this to my friends when i'm on my mtb and they're on their road bikes, coasting past them really gets to them.

cjcp

ride_whenever wrote:

cjcp wrote:

ride_whenever wrote:

Do i have to be commuting to play?

Or can I come down to london in september and spend all day chasing people?

I am a student so tend to have plenty of time to burn...

By all means! The more the merrier!

In fact, how about Pimm's on Embankment at a pre-arranged time?

And now I feel like I'm being groomed on the internet... :shock:
But sure, I should finish my summer job in early september and my mate should be back from his skiing races so I'll have somewhere to stay. This sounds like a plan, I'd better get very fit in the meantime!

Er, oops. Few words missing there. Meant to say, "How about we all meet for Pimm's etc..."

It's ok, there's no grooming or selection policy. As you'll have noticed, there are lots of those single-speed/fixie left-wingers on this forum, so we're not fussy.

cjcp

ride_whenever wrote:

oooo, is drafting of motor vehicles allowed, I do this to my friends when i'm on my mtb and they're on their road bikes, coasting past them really gets to them.

All forms of drafting is a sign of weakness.

il_principe

cjcp wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Jashburnham - were you in Richmond Park this morning?

I was indeed. Did you spot me then? Had a good duel with a Yellow Cannondale in Putney (on my way home), I took him over the Bridge but he sat on my ars* for a while along Fulham road before filtering traffic in a more efficient manner and then turning off. I claiming a minor victory given that I pulled him for some distance following a hard morning lap of the park. Kudos though he stuck with me at 24/25. Ate a rather lovely white Dolan track bike for breakfast on the Embankment, lost respect for him when he shuffled past at the lights and sat in front of me... was forced to scalp him again. Numerous hybrids as well this AM but really I'm not sure they count anymore.

Yep. Spotted you coming down the hill to Kingston Gate as I was going up. Recognised you from you Dragon Ride picture.

The chap on the Cannondale was at the lights at the end of Priory Lane.

I saw a very nice Dolan track bike earlier this week through Parsons Green. Was he wearing black, a cap and shades?

I think so, I was busy looking at the bike tbh and then spent most of my time in front of him, but it's likely the same fella.

This is my first spotting then! Pity I didn't recognise you - we could have exchanged knowing nods.

lost_in_thought

I'm feeling rather lucky today!

Rode home last night very keen to play, and was very disappointed to find no worthy opponents around whatsoever, so amused myself by repeatedly overtaking a big bloke on a roadie who was trying reallly hard and kept RLJ-ing.

I know that as a hairy roadie with no luggage he may be a lower number than me, but I think he may have only bought it to pose, as I grabbed my computer out of my pannier at one set of lights and he was only going at about 16mph... so I actually ended up feeling bad for him... but overtook him 3 more times anyway. I had to wait until after tha last light went green for him to catch up...

And then this morning I left later than usual, and set off, spied a roadie man in leggings with a rucksack, and shot off after him, disappointingly he was rather slow too, but as I waited for a ped crossing, a guy on a single speed shot through the red light! Not only that, but he had nought but a small backpack, and, the piece de resistance, one of those helmets with the face guard - like a motocross one but lighter! Hurrah!

Well it took me a while to catch him, but I got a run where all the lights he RLJ'd had turned green or at lease flashing yellow by the time I got to them, and I overtook him, coughing (I have a bit of a cough)! Then he RLJ'd past me again, I overtook again, he RLJ'd me one last time, but by then his spirit was broken, and by near Shebu he was an easy target for a 3rd pass.

Hurrah! Also, my run in to work was a lot quicker this morning!

Bassjunkieuk

lost_in_thought wrote:

Hurrah! Also, my run in to work was a lot quicker this morning!

This is a rather nice benefit of playing THE GAME, as your either trying to catch someone or constantly pushing urself so no one can latch on to your wheel and do you! I'm getting rather paranoid on certain stretches and do regular checks for other cyclist's behind me :-)
Over the last few weeks I've set a good few PB's for average speeds and I'm even considering changing my route home from where I'm currently working to avoid some stupid temp traffic lights near my house and allow me a nice long stretch of road that I can get some good sustained speed practice in on, and with any luck a few scalps

cjcp

jashburnham wrote:

cjcp wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Jashburnham - were you in Richmond Park this morning?

I was indeed. Did you spot me then? Had a good duel with a Yellow Cannondale in Putney (on my way home), I took him over the Bridge but he sat on my ars* for a while along Fulham road before filtering traffic in a more efficient manner and then turning off. I claiming a minor victory given that I pulled him for some distance following a hard morning lap of the park. Kudos though he stuck with me at 24/25. Ate a rather lovely white Dolan track bike for breakfast on the Embankment, lost respect for him when he shuffled past at the lights and sat in front of me... was forced to scalp him again. Numerous hybrids as well this AM but really I'm not sure they count anymore.

Yep. Spotted you coming down the hill to Kingston Gate as I was going up. Recognised you from you Dragon Ride picture.

The chap on the Cannondale was at the lights at the end of Priory Lane.

I saw a very nice Dolan track bike earlier this week through Parsons Green. Was he wearing black, a cap and shades?

I think so, I was busy looking at the bike tbh and then spent most of my time in front of him, but it's likely the same fella.

This is my first spotting then! Pity I didn't recognise you - we could have exchanged knowing nods.

Will look out for you again. I've usually got a pained expression on my face.

Greg T

cjcp wrote:

Will look out for you again. I've usually got a pained expression on my face.

Daddy, how did you and Daddy meet?

biondino

So, were any of you the blond bloke on a lime green Scott full-susser who was going balls out up Fulham Road this morning? I am assuming not because the guy reeked of effort - his riding position, the way he moved from side to side, the fact he was trying to ride a bike that weighs the same as an Austin Allegro. And I know none of you would appear anything but serene.

Anyway - This guy overtakes me at the lights, spinning in a low gear, and I literally laugh out loud when I see the bike. I immediately go back past him and build up to a decent cruising speed; but 30 seconds later he overtakes me! What?

There's a red light just ahead and we both stop - again, he zooms off, again, I overtake, and again, he retakes me, now going actually quite quickly (24mph or so). He looks like he's wearing himself out - he has to be on that thing - so I take a moment to ponder my tactics, and decide to put all my efforts into dropping him on the next decent run.

Except, by this point, we've hit the heart of the Fulham Road and there are traffic queues and lights as far as the eye can see. We're still together, and I'm thinking that if we can get another mile or so further on then I've got him; but in one particularly vigorous traffic snarl-up, he goes right round a van, I go left, and get myself hemmed in. By the time I get out he's a speck in the distance and, in honour of his noble efforts, I don't think I can catch him.

Also, he pointed out potholes to me which almost never happens on my commute, so chapeau.

On the plus side, I did a fast singly on Lower Richmond Road so that's my first point in a while.

Clever Pun

I got a proper lesson last night, was feeling tired slogging into the wind and a hairless(thankfully) roadie whips past me in full team kit, I gave chase and managed to keep up without drafting for about 2 miles but he just slipped through some traffic lights and I had to sit there and wait thinking how awesome it'd be if I could catch up.. I kicked off like a bullet then realised what the hell am I doing to myself, I still had some sport in the evening and a reasonable ride on the brompton later... he'll be back and I'll be ready... I hope

got home changed to the brompton and sports kit and went off again to wimbledon on my first properish ride (8miles) I managed to notch 3 mtbers and 2 hybrids and got clocked by one of those speed safety camera things at 21mph... awesome. I got to netball fu<king shattered, it's fricking hard riding those things any sort of distance. Still managed to play two games and own the courts get drunk then get the tram home...yeah

lost_in_thought

So how does it work if you overtake people but then they re-overtake you due to poor filtering skills in very heavy traffic?

On the road leading up to the infamous shebu roundabout, there are lanes closed due to the new development, and the traffic gets insanely tight, even on my skinny little gollum bike I get stuck, then the people I've slogged past get past me again!! Argh!

el_presidente

My mate's work has blocked this site for him now, but here is his email to me this morning, for your education and erudition:

Followed an Aussie chick home on a pimped up Orbea (expensive-looking deep rims, tri bars, etc.) and full white Pinarello kit and white Sidi shoes. I was on form but could only just keep her back wheel for the 4 miles that I lusted after her. She gave all the good roadie signals and didn't seem to mind that I was incapable of taking my turn at the front. Chatted at the (blessed) traffic lights and found out that she was off to RP to hook up with 3 other "Total Tri" chicks for a run down to Box Hill and back. Hardcore for mid-week.

biondino

If you authentically drop them, then it doesn't matter if they overtake you again. You won. It's over.

biondino

Clever Pun, it's wonderfully contrary of you to commute on a road bike and then switch to a Brompton in the evenings. Chapeau once again.

snooks

cjcp wrote:

ride_whenever wrote:

oooo, is drafting of motor vehicles allowed, I do this to my friends when i'm on my mtb and they're on their road bikes, coasting past them really gets to them.

All forms of drafting is a sign of weakness.

I'm glad you said that...Along the Milbank last night I was just about to make a move of some roadies (1 serious, 1 not so) so I go wides and a scooter goes past...serious roadie hears this the high pitched fart of said scooter and almost takes me out in the rush to draft it.

Wouldn't have been so pi$$ed off if I hadn't had a nice pull from the scooter, giving me a turbo boost to pass the roadies only to have it snatched from me, having to dab the breaks loosing my speed and happy thoughts and left to drop behind not-so-serious (see thinner than me but the other guy made his physique like that of a cake lover!) Only to be sat there with a bloomin heavy bag to watch serious lady like shaved legs draft their way into the distance.

Clever Pun

biondino wrote:

Clever Pun, it's wonderfully contrary of you to commute on a road bike and then switch to a Brompton in the evenings. Chapeau once again.

I was nodding to other roadies then realising I was on that and not surprised they looked at me funny

21 mph was happily in mid gear I reckon I could really ramp it up for the embankment scalpfest... soon people... you have been warned

fury21

jedster wrote:

Stop, STOP!

We've lost our way!

Something has been troubling me for some time and I've just worked out what.

Back in the early days of this thread, there was broad consensus that part of silly commuter racing was that you MUST NOT acknowledge (on the road as opposed to amidst this virtual nonsense) that a race was ever happening. Lately there's been a lot of talk of badges and slogans and even spoke cards.

What gives? I think it smacks of heresy. Do we have a schism in the church? Who's going to play the Archbishop of Canterbury role and sort this mess out?

Am I right or am I just failing to adapt to a new era?

Concerned,

J

There's maybe a simple answer here.

Make the badges for participants in THE GAME say..

"IT'S NOT A RACE"

Both denial and confession in one.

ride_whenever

I think the futurama classic:

Second is a fancy word for first LOSER!

Sums it up nicely

snooks

fury21 wrote:

There's maybe a simple answer here.

Make the badges for participants in THE GAME say..

"IT'S NOT A RACE"

Both denial and confession in one.

Oh the Irony...I love it!!!!

lost_in_thought

snooks wrote:

fury21 wrote:

There's maybe a simple answer here.

Make the badges for participants in THE GAME say..

"IT'S NOT A RACE"

Both denial and confession in one.

Oh the Irony...I love it!!!!

Me too! That's brilliant... Sanctimonius posturing and flagrant lying at the same time...

snooks

Adjusted my signature accordingly

lost_in_thought

Bassjunkieuk wrote:

This is a rather nice benefit of playing THE GAME, as your either trying to catch someone or constantly pushing urself so no one can latch on to your wheel and do you! I'm getting rather paranoid on certain stretches and do regular checks for other cyclist's behind me :-)

I might buy one of those little bar end mirrors - 'Is that for seeing traffic'? 'No, it's for checking nobody's catching me'!

I'm sure that would make me into an FCN8, then the world would be my oyster!

attica

So I rounded the corner at the bottom of the hill this morning and there I beheld a true player of The Game.

Hunched low over the handlebars, so low I couldn't see the cap he was wearing, this deity on wheels was showing no effort whatsoever, in fact he seemed to be barely breathing.

Then again he was 90 if he was a day and the mobility scooter wasn't exactly speedy.
The flat cap came off with the scalp.

As Greg said "I thank you"

Bassjunkieuk

lost_in_thought wrote:

Bassjunkieuk wrote:

This is a rather nice benefit of playing THE GAME, as your either trying to catch someone or constantly pushing urself so no one can latch on to your wheel and do you! I'm getting rather paranoid on certain stretches and do regular checks for other cyclist's behind me :-)

I might buy one of those little bar end mirrors - 'Is that for seeing traffic'? 'No, it's for checking nobody's catching me'!

I'm sure that would make me into an FCN8, then the world would be my oyster!

Now you mention that I think this could be cause for an adjuster for those "safety" mirrors - either that or a good way of marking us out -
The true player should rely on their jedi instinct to detect when someone is near, or just listen for the clicking of a freewheel over the traffic and wind buffeting!