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Man vs goose

kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
in The cake stop
The big polling news this week - which animal could you beat in a fight?

https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2021/05/13/lions-and-tigers-and-bears-what-animal-would-win-f



Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.

Also, my staffie is a medium sized dog - if he decided to fight, no way am I winning that unarmed. If I decided to fight, he'd just look confused about what was happening until I gave up.

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  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 15,903
    I'd like to see the 6% take on a grizzly.
    I'd watch that rather than Strictly. It is the one reality show I would watch.
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    What would be considered a "win" in an unarmed fight against an elephant?
  • rick_chaseyrick_chasey Posts: 69,761 Lives Here
    lol who is beating an elephant unarmed.
    _
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    People honestly reckon they can have a 'roo in a scrap?

    honestly?
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • TheBigBeanTheBigBean Posts: 19,423
    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 56,289
    If they conducted the survey down the pub it might explain a lot. 'C'mon then, I'll 'ave the f****n' lot of yers'
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    Consider the first five as establishing a baseline of "this is stupid" answers.

    Means quite a few men think they're beating a king cobra. 12 feet long with enough venom to kill 10 people.
  • TheBigBeanTheBigBean Posts: 19,423
    kingstongraham said:

    What would be considered a "win" in an unarmed fight against an elephant?

    I can only assume it running away.
  • TheBigBeanTheBigBean Posts: 19,423
    kingstongraham said:


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    TheBigBean said:

    kingstongraham said:

    What would be considered a "win" in an unarmed fight against an elephant?

    I can only assume it running away.
    I was assuming a gladiatorial arena.

    If making it run away is a win, I'd fancy my chances with a few more, one on one.
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    TheBigBean said:

    kingstongraham said:


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
    Yes, but within the parameters of being a goose. It's not ripping chunks out of you. If you had no social norms restricting you, I bet you could take down a goose.
  • singletonsingleton Posts: 2,466
    edited May 2021
    Do these people know what animals like a lion, a grizzly, a croc and a gorilla actually are???
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited May 2021
    TheBigBean said:

    kingstongraham said:


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
    this.

    heavy

    big

    strong

    viciousasfuck

    taller than Rick Chasey

    well big when they open their wings so you can't get your arms round them

    i ain't fighting a goose
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    TheBigBean said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    Normally you'd trap/poison/50 cal it, in this case, not sure really.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • shirley_bassoshirley_basso Posts: 6,113
    singleton said:

    Do these people know what animals like a lion, a grizzly, a croc and a gorilla actually are???

    Have they not seen Crocadile Dundee, The Ghost & The Darkness and The Revenant
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644


    6'7, 90kg of pure muscle with razor sharp claws.

    over to you - i'm out of this one.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • DeVlaeminckDeVlaeminck Posts: 8,642
    MattFalle said:

    TheBigBean said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    .
    We had a rat get in the house once - my Manchester Terrier killed it in seconds by biting it and shaking it violently - that's the tactic.
    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited May 2021
    Terrier are good at that sort of thing however I'm not really into rolling around on the floor biting rats.

    Put a terrier into a scrap with a rat the size of a cat or a farm rat/ooloo (sic) rat then its a different story I would say.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • singletonsingleton Posts: 2,466
    MattFalle said:

    TheBigBean said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    Normally you'd 50 cal it,
    Priceless.. Imagine trying that in your kitchen...
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    MattFalle said:

    TheBigBean said:

    kingstongraham said:


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
    this.

    heavy

    big

    strong

    viciousasfuck

    taller than Rick Chasey

    well big when they open their wings so you can't get your arms round them

    i ain't fighting a goose
    In a fight to the death in a gladiator arena, I'd back you over the goose.

    We need to know the stakes.
  • singletonsingleton Posts: 2,466
    DeVlaeminck said:

    MattFalle said:

    TheBigBean said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    .
    We had a rat get in the house once - my Manchester Terrier killed it in seconds by biting it and shaking it violently - that's the tactic.
    Is that the best tactic for humans though?
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    Are people thinking of swans?
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    Canada Goose

    Mute Swan

  • veronese68veronese68 Posts: 26,713 Lives Here
    singleton said:

    DeVlaeminck said:

    MattFalle said:

    TheBigBean said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    .
    We had a rat get in the house once - my Manchester Terrier killed it in seconds by biting it and shaking it violently - that's the tactic.
    Is that the best tactic for humans though?
    Biting humans and shaking them violently is discouraged at the best of times, especially in the current climate.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • ProssPross Posts: 38,834
    The rat is the only one I'd be confident with the house cat a probable (emphasis on it being a house cat and not semi-feral). I'd fancy my chances over an eagle before a goose. Some medium size dogs would be OK but as above, having had Staffies they are generally very docile but if riled I wouldn't fancy my odds at all and even my 14 week old GSD would be a tough scrap, there's no way I'm beating him when he's fully grown. I suspect most people are thinking PG Tips when considering a chimp, they're vicious bar stewards in the wild.
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 25,481
    You'd take the eagle over the goose?


  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    kingstongraham said:

    Canada Goose

    Mute Swan

    no - i'm think farm goose, biting, spitting, chasingfucker.

    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • ProssPross Posts: 38,834
    That said wild rats give me the creeps more than pretty much any other creature (I've had domestic rats and always like them strangely) and you'd probably die later from Wiel's disease so the victory would be quite hollow.
  • TheBigBeanTheBigBean Posts: 19,423
    There's a big difference between fighting a dog and a wolf, and a pack of them. I'd much rather fight a wolf than a chimp, kangaroo or king cobra.
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    singleton said:

    MattFalle said:

    TheBigBean said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    Normally you'd 50 cal it,
    Priceless.. Imagine trying that in your kitchen...
    Darling - the pest controller is here. Do you want to let him in?


    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
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