Man vs goose

The big polling news this week - which animal could you beat in a fight?

https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2021/05/13/lions-and-tigers-and-bears-what-animal-would-win-f



Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.

Also, my staffie is a medium sized dog - if he decided to fight, no way am I winning that unarmed. If I decided to fight, he'd just look confused about what was happening until I gave up.

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Comments

  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,921
    I'd like to see the 6% take on a grizzly.
    I'd watch that rather than Strictly. It is the one reality show I would watch.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800
    What would be considered a "win" in an unarmed fight against an elephant?
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 73,716
    lol who is beating an elephant unarmed.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    People honestly reckon they can have a 'roo in a scrap?

    honestly?
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • TheBigBean
    TheBigBean Posts: 20,922
    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 59,424
    If they conducted the survey down the pub it might explain a lot. 'C'mon then, I'll 'ave the f****n' lot of yers'
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800
    Consider the first five as establishing a baseline of "this is stupid" answers.

    Means quite a few men think they're beating a king cobra. 12 feet long with enough venom to kill 10 people.
  • TheBigBean
    TheBigBean Posts: 20,922

    What would be considered a "win" in an unarmed fight against an elephant?

    I can only assume it running away.
  • TheBigBean
    TheBigBean Posts: 20,922


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800

    What would be considered a "win" in an unarmed fight against an elephant?

    I can only assume it running away.
    I was assuming a gladiatorial arena.

    If making it run away is a win, I'd fancy my chances with a few more, one on one.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
    Yes, but within the parameters of being a goose. It's not ripping chunks out of you. If you had no social norms restricting you, I bet you could take down a goose.
  • singleton
    singleton Posts: 2,523
    edited May 2021
    Do these people know what animals like a lion, a grizzly, a croc and a gorilla actually are???
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited May 2021


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
    this.

    heavy

    big

    strong

    viciousasfuck

    taller than Rick Chasey

    well big when they open their wings so you can't get your arms round them

    i ain't fighting a goose
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    Normally you'd trap/poison/50 cal it, in this case, not sure really.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • shirley_basso
    shirley_basso Posts: 6,195
    singleton said:

    Do these people know what animals like a lion, a grizzly, a croc and a gorilla actually are???

    Have they not seen Crocadile Dundee, The Ghost & The Darkness and The Revenant
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644


    6'7, 90kg of pure muscle with razor sharp claws.

    over to you - i'm out of this one.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • DeVlaeminck
    DeVlaeminck Posts: 8,789
    MattFalle said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    .
    We had a rat get in the house once - my Manchester Terrier killed it in seconds by biting it and shaking it violently - that's the tactic.
    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited May 2021
    Terrier are good at that sort of thing however I'm not really into rolling around on the floor biting rats.

    Put a terrier into a scrap with a rat the size of a cat or a farm rat/ooloo (sic) rat then its a different story I would say.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • singleton
    singleton Posts: 2,523
    MattFalle said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    Normally you'd 50 cal it,
    Priceless.. Imagine trying that in your kitchen...
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800
    MattFalle said:


    Firstly why do so many think they couldn't beat up a goose? Just kick its head in, or swing it round by its feet or something.


    They can fly and they're vicious.
    this.

    heavy

    big

    strong

    viciousasfuck

    taller than Rick Chasey

    well big when they open their wings so you can't get your arms round them

    i ain't fighting a goose
    In a fight to the death in a gladiator arena, I'd back you over the goose.

    We need to know the stakes.
  • singleton
    singleton Posts: 2,523

    MattFalle said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    .
    We had a rat get in the house once - my Manchester Terrier killed it in seconds by biting it and shaking it violently - that's the tactic.
    Is that the best tactic for humans though?
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800
    Are people thinking of swans?
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800
    Canada Goose

    Mute Swan

  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,512
    singleton said:

    MattFalle said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    you'll need to get it over and done with quickly otherwise it'll rip you to shreds - razor sharp teeth, vicious, strong and fast as.

    its basically a ball of muscle and teeth.

    also, are we talking small domestic rat or wild rat as big as a cat?

    lobbing it on the floor won't help your cause because it'll bounce then come back twice as angry, not sure what you'd do - you can strangle it, too small and fast to stamp on.

    .
    We had a rat get in the house once - my Manchester Terrier killed it in seconds by biting it and shaking it violently - that's the tactic.
    Is that the best tactic for humans though?
    Biting humans and shaking them violently is discouraged at the best of times, especially in the current climate.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 41,397
    The rat is the only one I'd be confident with the house cat a probable (emphasis on it being a house cat and not semi-feral). I'd fancy my chances over an eagle before a goose. Some medium size dogs would be OK but as above, having had Staffies they are generally very docile but if riled I wouldn't fancy my odds at all and even my 14 week old GSD would be a tough scrap, there's no way I'm beating him when he's fully grown. I suspect most people are thinking PG Tips when considering a chimp, they're vicious bar stewards in the wild.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,800
    You'd take the eagle over the goose?


  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644

    Canada Goose

    Mute Swan

    no - i'm think farm goose, biting, spitting, chasingfucker.

    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 41,397
    That said wild rats give me the creeps more than pretty much any other creature (I've had domestic rats and always like them strangely) and you'd probably die later from Wiel's disease so the victory would be quite hollow.
  • TheBigBean
    TheBigBean Posts: 20,922
    There's a big difference between fighting a dog and a wolf, and a pack of them. I'd much rather fight a wolf than a chimp, kangaroo or king cobra.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    singleton said:

    MattFalle said:

    There are a lot of over confident people, and also a lot of underconfident - who could lose a fight with a rat?

    Normally you'd 50 cal it,
    Priceless.. Imagine trying that in your kitchen...
    Darling - the pest controller is here. Do you want to let him in?


    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.