Man vs goose

1246

Comments

  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,433
    Having tried to get hold of our cat last week to try and rescue the sparrow he'd caught, I'm fairly confident he could take me! Vicious bar steward. He is a solid 7kg of cat muscle in my defence :)
  • TheBigBean
    TheBigBean Posts: 21,106
    Can't you strangle a dog?
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 42,099

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
  • TheBigBean
    TheBigBean Posts: 21,106
    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    while its ripping your face off with its claws
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • morstar
    morstar Posts: 6,190
    As for lions, elephants etc.
    Who the fuck do these people think they are?

    An acquaintance works for Chester zoo and while on lion rotation, he established the male lion really did not like him.
    When passing his internal enclosure, the lion would leap at the bars where there was a narrow passageway. The jaws were as big as the persons head and in very close proximity.
    What defence does any unarmed human think they are mounting against a fast and agile natural predator that can simply put your head in their mouth?
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    that and its 20kg of muscle fighting you

    most clubbies on here can't pick up 5kg of sausages let alone a dog.

    imagine 60kg plus of fighting dog comin' at ya like a really frickin' angry and violent Cleopatra?
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • skyblueamateur
    skyblueamateur Posts: 1,498

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Yep, I'd get one in a sleeper/Million dollar dream hold and send it straight to sleep Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase stylee.

    I watched a lot of WWF in my formative years and am reasonably confident in my prowess.

    A Figure-4 leg lock might be a bit trickier on a dog though.......
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    Then it will pissonyou will will distract you so it can hurt you some more
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    Box jellyfish on the face.

    now that would hurt.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • surrey_commuter
    surrey_commuter Posts: 18,867

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Yep, I'd get one in a sleeper/Million dollar dream hold and send it straight to sleep Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase stylee.

    I watched a lot of WWF in my formative years and am reasonably confident in my prowess.

    A Figure-4 leg lock might be a bit trickier on a dog though.......
    I think this thread proves that this would help WWF funding far more than pictures of cute pandas chomping on bamboo
  • skyblueamateur
    skyblueamateur Posts: 1,498
    MattFalle said:

    Then it will pissonyou will will distract you so it can hurt you some more

    That never used to happen in the wrestling I watched....
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 27,226

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    Depends on the dog. Reckon you could maintain a grip on this old boy?


  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644

    MattFalle said:

    Then it will pissonyou will will distract you so it can hurt you some more

    That never used to happen in the wrestling I watched....
    yeah, that as maybe, but unlike the poster above i bet you didn't have Black Mambas randomnley lying around your house either....

    anyway, it only happened in the real grudge matches, not the lunchtime stuff on ITV presented by Dickie whatisname....
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • surrey_commuter
    surrey_commuter Posts: 18,867
    Can we consider normal household pets ie a labrador

    do we think we could kick it into submission and strangle it?
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 27,226

    I saw Man vs Beast on cable TV in Asia once and I think it was heavily criticised. I have never forgotten the tug of war between an orangutan and a sumo twice the size

    https://www.vocativ.com/news/271212/remembering-man-vs-beast-foxs-wild-reality-tv-competition/index.html

    When that orangutan decides it's over, it's over.

    I just saw another where it was a "hanging by your hands" contest between man and orangutan. The orangutan lost because after about 5 minutes or so, it got bored, had a pee while it was hanging there, and then touched the upright rather than the bar.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 27,226

    Can we consider normal household pets ie a labrador

    do we think we could kick it into submission and strangle it?

    Yes, if the dog doesn't know it's in a fight, you get the element of surprise. Like I say, with my dog, he'd just be confused. Might lick my hand forcefully or headbutt me to express disapproval.
  • surrey_commuter
    surrey_commuter Posts: 18,867

    I saw Man vs Beast on cable TV in Asia once and I think it was heavily criticised. I have never forgotten the tug of war between an orangutan and a sumo twice the size

    https://www.vocativ.com/news/271212/remembering-man-vs-beast-foxs-wild-reality-tv-competition/index.html

    When that orangutan decides it's over, it's over.

    I just saw another where it was a "hanging by your hands" contest between man and orangutan. The orangutan lost because after about 5 minutes or so, it got bored, had a pee while it was hanging there, and then touched the upright rather than the bar.
    4 feet tall and 13 stone, nobody is goingto beat that lady in a fight
  • TheBigBean
    TheBigBean Posts: 21,106

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    Depends on the dog. Reckon you could maintain a grip on this old boy?


    It is all a bit morbid, but I would have thought that wrapping your arm around its neck, then lying on top of it would do the job. Or George Floyd style. No doubt some wounds would be sustained along the way, but you're talking about a fight to the death. I think the human just needs to ensure that the dog doesn't get his/her jugular, because that would be game over.
  • morstar
    morstar Posts: 6,190
    For it to be a fight to the death. Given that animals don’t know the rules, surely we have to assume the animal is already motivated to attack and not unaware of impending risk.
    Otherwise it is just, could you kill x with your bare hands and the element of surprise.

    Still not taking on a lion.
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,508

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    Depends on the dog. Reckon you could maintain a grip on this old boy?


    It is all a bit morbid, but I would have thought that wrapping your arm around its neck, then lying on top of it would do the job. Or George Floyd style. No doubt some wounds would be sustained along the way, but you're talking about a fight to the death. I think the human just needs to ensure that the dog doesn't get his/her jugular, because that would be game over.
    Could we tape something over our jugulars like cardboard? We’d still be unarmed. Assuming we’re allowed clothes. I’m not fighting anything naked!
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • pangolin
    pangolin Posts: 6,519

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    Depends on the dog. Reckon you could maintain a grip on this old boy?


    It is all a bit morbid, but I would have thought that wrapping your arm around its neck, then lying on top of it would do the job. Or George Floyd style. No doubt some wounds would be sustained along the way, but you're talking about a fight to the death. I think the human just needs to ensure that the dog doesn't get his/her jugular, because that would be game over.
    I feel like wrapping your arms around it's neck would get your neck awfully close to it's teeth.

    I read somewhere the best thing to do if a dog is biting someone else is to pick up it's back legs and walk backwards. I don't know if this is true, or how this helps if it's you that it's biting...
    - Genesis Croix de Fer
    - Dolan Tuono
  • shortfall
    shortfall Posts: 3,288

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    Depends on the dog. Reckon you could maintain a grip on this old boy?


    He looks like Rex off the Simply Loveleh videos.
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 26,431
    edited May 2021
    pangolin said:

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    Depends on the dog. Reckon you could maintain a grip on this old boy?


    It is all a bit morbid, but I would have thought that wrapping your arm around its neck, then lying on top of it would do the job. Or George Floyd style. No doubt some wounds would be sustained along the way, but you're talking about a fight to the death. I think the human just needs to ensure that the dog doesn't get his/her jugular, because that would be game over.
    I feel like wrapping your arms around it's neck would get your neck awfully close to it's teeth.

    I read somewhere the best thing to do if a dog is biting someone else is to pick up it's back legs and walk backwards. I don't know if this is true, or how this helps if it's you that it's biting...
    A fine move if the someone else doesn't mind being the next victim.
    #tagteam
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • pangolin
    pangolin Posts: 6,519
    pblakeney said:

    pangolin said:

    Pross said:

    Can't you strangle a dog?

    Not if it's shaking its head around and biting your hands.
    You mean its neck is too strong to hold on to?
    Depends on the dog. Reckon you could maintain a grip on this old boy?


    It is all a bit morbid, but I would have thought that wrapping your arm around its neck, then lying on top of it would do the job. Or George Floyd style. No doubt some wounds would be sustained along the way, but you're talking about a fight to the death. I think the human just needs to ensure that the dog doesn't get his/her jugular, because that would be game over.
    I feel like wrapping your arms around it's neck would get your neck awfully close to it's teeth.

    I read somewhere the best thing to do if a dog is biting someone else is to pick up it's back legs and walk backwards. I don't know if this is true, or how this helps if it's you that it's biting...
    A fine move if the someone else doesn't mind being the next victim.
    #tagteam
    Very true. I suppose it's in the situation where there is an owner present but they're not being any use.
    - Genesis Croix de Fer
    - Dolan Tuono
  • DeVlaeminck
    DeVlaeminck Posts: 8,852
    I'm going to stick up for homo sapiens here - assuming the person is male, maybe 30 years old, trained to some extent or at least physically strong and lacking in fear - or at least uses that fear they aren't going to panic.

    I reckon in a fight to the death I'd back the person over a German Shepherd. Not saying it's a foregone conclusion by any means but you've got a weight advantage, you've got human intelligence, hands, elbows, knees, head.

    Now there are breeds like some of the flock guardian breeds that are huge where I'd accept the human would probably lose but against a police dog - German shepherd or big malinois - not sure - that said I wouldn't volunteer to find out.


    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,921
    Looking at the biting power of some dogs, I would suggest it is game over if one of these big boys clamped on.

    https://www.insidedogsworld.com/dog-bite-explained-top-20-dogs-with-the-strongest-bite-force/

    For reference, a lion has a bite force of 650psi and a human 160psi
  • DeVlaeminck
    DeVlaeminck Posts: 8,852
    Teach your children, practice this often so it becomes second nature.

    "The recommended survival technique for an attacking 'domesticated' dog (extrapolation is necessary, for obvious reasons) is to offer the forearm, then use the free arm to secure the back of the animal's head. The legs are then wrapped around the canine's torso and the animal rolled onto its back. Ordinarily a dog will, at this point, attempt to dislodge the forearm from its mouth and get back to its feet. With proper resolve, the animal can be held in place and the bitten arm shifted so that a fist can be pushed into the dog's throat and esophagus. With only a few inches insertion, respiration can be profoundly restricted, causing the dog to expire within 30 seconds to a minute."
    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 42,099
    MattFalle said:

    MattFalle said:

    Then it will pissonyou will will distract you so it can hurt you some more

    That never used to happen in the wrestling I watched....
    yeah, that as maybe, but unlike the poster above i bet you didn't have Black Mambas randomnley lying around your house either....

    anyway, it only happened in the real grudge matches, not the lunchtime stuff on ITV presented by Dickie whatisname....
    Probably got a few tucked away in the basement dungeon for weekend parties.

  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,508
    All the dangerous animals have in built weapons, super size, super strength, super teeth, super venom etc. It’s not really fair on the humans to nullify their super brains, preventing them from tooling up with whatever comes to hand, pointy stick, Lawnmower etc.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי