The Lanterne Rouge Thread 2020 **SPOILERS**
Same time next year?
Well that was a bloody stupid way to tempt fate and sign off the 2019 Lanterne Rouge thread, wasn't it?
Yes, it's the most wonderful time of the year, when everyone tries to rescue their season with a decent Vuelta a España. Controversially the Spanish organising committee have taken the concept of a foreign start to its logical conclusion and this year's race will be held entirely in... hang on, it's the bloody Tour de France again, isn't it?
Yes, for those of you who have only just emerged from your plague-proof nuclear bunkers to forage for toilet rolls in the post-apocalyptic society. this year's Tour de France finally starts this weekend and that means the most entertaining - if least competent - race in cycling is about to begin again. I refer of course to the Lanterne Rouge - traditional honorific for the last rider in the standings when the race reaches Paris. This year's competition will be even tougher to win as there's no guarantee that the race will even last to Paris, and - just as with toilet breaks - the main contenders will need to go early or risk being caught short.
Naturally this thread is an equal opportunity disaster zone, and will also be reporting on the Girls of Pedally Towers as they go an yet another ginger beer fuelled rampage within a covid secure facility, behind at least five firewalls, and with a super-injunction in place to ensure no news whatsoever of La Curse finds its way into the cycling media. Really, ASO, you spoil us with your attitude to women's racing, you really do.
Henri Desgrange famously believed that only one person should make it to the end, and that's certainly always been my philosophy with this pitiful excuse of an annual thread. So settle back, put your feet up, and let's find out which one of us cracks first.
In the meantime you can catch up with previous editions below, although anything prior to my unexpected debut in 2016 appears to have gone missing. Sorry about that.