Seemingly trivial things that annoy you

veronese68

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

With regards to eating out, I don't just go out for the food. I enjoy the company and the experience as well. With regard to other people, I wouldn't say using their phones throughout annoys me, I just find it odd. They'd clearly rather be with someone else. People watching can also be quite entertaining.

It depends how long the diners have spent with each other previously. If they have just spent the previous 12 hours together either sightseeing or working and simply want some food before they go to bed, it's not really surprising that they want to use their phones to catch up on other things. If it is a first date, then it is probably not going that well.

How long is too long? I've been married quite a few years, yet if my wife and I go away together we still find things to talk about, but then we get on and enjoy each others company. Maybe that's the unusual bit.

TheBigBean

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

With regards to eating out, I don't just go out for the food. I enjoy the company and the experience as well. With regard to other people, I wouldn't say using their phones throughout annoys me, I just find it odd. They'd clearly rather be with someone else. People watching can also be quite entertaining.

It depends how long the diners have spent with each other previously. If they have just spent the previous 12 hours together either sightseeing or working and simply want some food before they go to bed, it's not really surprising that they want to use their phones to catch up on other things. If it is a first date, then it is probably not going that well.

How long is too long? I've been married quite a few years, yet if my wife and I go away together we still find things to talk about, but then we get on and enjoy each others company. Maybe that's the unusual bit.

And yet you find time to do all the people watching.

veronese68

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

With regards to eating out, I don't just go out for the food. I enjoy the company and the experience as well. With regard to other people, I wouldn't say using their phones throughout annoys me, I just find it odd. They'd clearly rather be with someone else. People watching can also be quite entertaining.

It depends how long the diners have spent with each other previously. If they have just spent the previous 12 hours together either sightseeing or working and simply want some food before they go to bed, it's not really surprising that they want to use their phones to catch up on other things. If it is a first date, then it is probably not going that well.

How long is too long? I've been married quite a few years, yet if my wife and I go away together we still find things to talk about, but then we get on and enjoy each others company. Maybe that's the unusual bit.

And yet you find time to do all the people watching.

You can take in what's happening around you whilst having a conversation, also can give you something to talk about. Maybe you should try it sometime.

TheBigBean

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

With regards to eating out, I don't just go out for the food. I enjoy the company and the experience as well. With regard to other people, I wouldn't say using their phones throughout annoys me, I just find it odd. They'd clearly rather be with someone else. People watching can also be quite entertaining.

It depends how long the diners have spent with each other previously. If they have just spent the previous 12 hours together either sightseeing or working and simply want some food before they go to bed, it's not really surprising that they want to use their phones to catch up on other things. If it is a first date, then it is probably not going that well.

How long is too long? I've been married quite a few years, yet if my wife and I go away together we still find things to talk about, but then we get on and enjoy each others company. Maybe that's the unusual bit.

And yet you find time to do all the people watching.

You can take in what's happening around you whilst having a conversation, also can give you something to talk about. Maybe you should try it sometime.

What makes you think I don't? What I don't do is judge others. They may be talking about the lasted tiktok, tweet etc.

pinno

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

pblakeney

pinno said:

...but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are....

Once I figured out that it is utter bollox I went through a period of responding with "Diagnosed with terminal cancer." Very, very few stopped to query. Utter, utter bollox.

rjsterry

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

Not sure how 'pas bien' is any more communicative than standard English 'not too bad, mate'. You can always try the Dutch approach if you want every interaction to be brutally honest. Personally I quite like not having to share everything with everyone.

pinno

pblakeney said:

pinno said:

...but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are....

Once I figured out that it is utter bollox I went through a period of responding with "Diagnosed with terminal cancer." Very, very few stopped to query. Utter, utter bollox.

I went through all of that when I was diagnosed.

pblakeney

rjsterry said:

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

Not sure how 'pas bien' is any more communicative than standard English 'not too bad, mate'. You can always try the Dutch approach if you want every interaction to be brutally honest. Personally I quite like not having to share everything with everyone.

I think you just proved Pinno's point there.
I think it is well known and accepted that Brits are "reserved".

pinno

rjsterry said:

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

Not sure how 'pas bien' is any more communicative than standard English 'not too bad, mate'. You can always try the Dutch approach if you want every interaction to be brutally honest. Personally I quite like not having to share everything with everyone.

I am not advocating sharing everything with everyone.

Pas bien = not good BTW.

pblakeney

pinno said:

pblakeney said:

pinno said:

...but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are....

Once I figured out that it is utter bollox I went through a period of responding with "Diagnosed with terminal cancer." Very, very few stopped to query. Utter, utter bollox.

I went through all of that when I was diagnosed.

That really must be the shits.
It's depressing enough when you are just checking for a response.

veronese68

pinno said:

pblakeney said:

pinno said:

...but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are....

Once I figured out that it is utter bollox I went through a period of responding with "Diagnosed with terminal cancer." Very, very few stopped to query. Utter, utter bollox.

I went through all of that when I was diagnosed.

Same, some people will actively avoid you rather than face uncomfortable answers. Times like that help confirm who your friends are, one of them once said to me he couldn't stand hearing people say how well I looked, he was a good friend and knew I looked like sh!t compared to my normal self, he got more upset about it then I did.

veronese68

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

With regards to eating out, I don't just go out for the food. I enjoy the company and the experience as well. With regard to other people, I wouldn't say using their phones throughout annoys me, I just find it odd. They'd clearly rather be with someone else. People watching can also be quite entertaining.

It depends how long the diners have spent with each other previously. If they have just spent the previous 12 hours together either sightseeing or working and simply want some food before they go to bed, it's not really surprising that they want to use their phones to catch up on other things. If it is a first date, then it is probably not going that well.

How long is too long? I've been married quite a few years, yet if my wife and I go away together we still find things to talk about, but then we get on and enjoy each others company. Maybe that's the unusual bit.

And yet you find time to do all the people watching.

You can take in what's happening around you whilst having a conversation, also can give you something to talk about. Maybe you should try it sometime.

What makes you think I don't? What I don't do is judge others. They may be talking about the lasted tiktok, tweet etc.

Apologies, I took you at your word when you said its all about the food when you eat out earlier. Personally I think eating out is about the whole experience and the company you keep. I've just been out with some friends, the food was good, the whole experience was improved by the company and the atmosphere resulting. I did use my phone briefly, but I apologised and explained why to the others. Then I reported back that our mutual friend's hospital appointment had gone well and he'd call me in the morning. That took a few seconds, not several minutes of scrolling through screens.
Am I judgemental? Probably. Do I care? No.

rjsterry

pblakeney said:

rjsterry said:

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

Not sure how 'pas bien' is any more communicative than standard English 'not too bad, mate'. You can always try the Dutch approach if you want every interaction to be brutally honest. Personally I quite like not having to share everything with everyone.

I think you just proved Pinno's point there.
I think it is well known and accepted that Brits are "reserved".

Reserved ≠ insular. Two different things.

rjsterry

pinno said:

rjsterry said:

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

Not sure how 'pas bien' is any more communicative than standard English 'not too bad, mate'. You can always try the Dutch approach if you want every interaction to be brutally honest. Personally I quite like not having to share everything with everyone.

I am not advocating sharing everything with everyone.

Pas bien = not good BTW.

'Not too bad' often means 'awful but I'd rather not go into it'. It depends.

rick_chasey

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this..

Spending some time in Italy will disavow you that this is some kind of British phenomenon.

rick_chasey

Anyway, in the world of trivially annoying.

Currently doing a fair bit of driving around Umbria in a new fiat panda hybrid.

All good; a helpful hire car for holiday; but the way the hybrid recharges is quite annoying.

Obviously it’s very twisty around here, not a straight road in sight. Problem I have is when driving downhill.

I like to do my braking, come off the brakes as the turn in starts, come back on the gas on the exit.

Instead, the recharging effort carries on until I hit the gas, which means there’s still a significant braking effort going on when you’re turning, which going downhill is not ideal. Asking a lot of the front tyres.

So I’m having to brake harder for the corner and gently tap the gas as little as I go through. Slow and I doubt it’s more efficient as it’s excessive deceleration

pblakeney

rjsterry said:

pblakeney said:

rjsterry said:

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

Not sure how 'pas bien' is any more communicative than standard English 'not too bad, mate'. You can always try the Dutch approach if you want every interaction to be brutally honest. Personally I quite like not having to share everything with everyone.

I think you just proved Pinno's point there.
I think it is well known and accepted that Brits are "reserved".

Reserved ≠ insular. Two different things.

Pedantic semantics.
A generalisation and stereotype. Not great but based on something.

pinno

rick_chasey said:

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this..

Spending some time in Italy will disavow you that this is some kind of British phenomenon.

Yeah but - your experience of life is far different to everyone else, even just cycling down the road.

Pross

After several sunny, dry weeks looking at the weather forecast for my trip to Cornwall next week.

pblakeney

Pross said:

After several sunny, dry weeks looking at the weather forecast for my trip to Cornwall next week.

Has there been a hosepipe ban announcement?
That is usually a good indicator of forecoming rain. 😉

pinno

veronese68 said:

pinno said:

pblakeney said:

pinno said:

...but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are....

Once I figured out that it is utter bollox I went through a period of responding with "Diagnosed with terminal cancer." Very, very few stopped to query. Utter, utter bollox.

I went through all of that when I was diagnosed.

Same, some people will actively avoid you rather than face uncomfortable answers.

I had friends who never contacted me again.
I had an ex gf who called and was in London but she couldn't face seeing me.
Then I got people who came out of the woodwork and were amazing.

rjsterry

pblakeney said:

rjsterry said:

pblakeney said:

rjsterry said:

pinno said:

A group of individuals sat at a table together but all on their phones is a snapshot. Yes, I agree but it appears like a pretty dysfunctional group, whoever they may be and what ever they did before that moment.
On my travels abroad, I see less of this. Brits, are not really that sociable.
I won't sit here and list the anti-social behaviour and the individualism as examples as I don't think it is necessary.
However, you can start with the very basics like how we can be very polite and follow convention but a lot of it is bollox. "Oh good morning, how do you do?" "I'm very well thank you, how are you?" It's utter bollox. It's keeping up appearances and no one actually says how they really are. So from the first point of contact, we are encouraged by convention to not express ourselves if we really wanted to.
In other cultures, it's fine to say 'Estoy mal' or 'Pas bien'.
I only have friends/partners who I can be completely honest with and who can say exactly how they feel too.
Insular Brits living in... insularity. It's much easier for them (us) to converse through a faceless medium.

Not sure how 'pas bien' is any more communicative than standard English 'not too bad, mate'. You can always try the Dutch approach if you want every interaction to be brutally honest. Personally I quite like not having to share everything with everyone.

I think you just proved Pinno's point there.
I think it is well known and accepted that Brits are "reserved".

Reserved ≠ insular. Two different things.

Pedantic semantics.
A generalisation and stereotype. Not great but based on something.

A Greek friend commented that one of the things she finds difficult with spoken English is the number of different ways of saying essentially the same thing but with very subtle gradations, or the same words to mean two opposing things. "Not too bad" meaning anything from "fantastic, but I don't want to brag about it" to "awful, but I'm sure you don't want the details as you are just delivering my weekly shopping". Reserved is the better word as more open expression of feeling is reserved for closest friends and relatives.

First.Aspect

'Insular' is more a word I'd use for leave voters, so not the majority any more.

TheBigBean

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

TheBigBean said:

veronese68 said:

With regards to eating out, I don't just go out for the food. I enjoy the company and the experience as well. With regard to other people, I wouldn't say using their phones throughout annoys me, I just find it odd. They'd clearly rather be with someone else. People watching can also be quite entertaining.

It depends how long the diners have spent with each other previously. If they have just spent the previous 12 hours together either sightseeing or working and simply want some food before they go to bed, it's not really surprising that they want to use their phones to catch up on other things. If it is a first date, then it is probably not going that well.

How long is too long? I've been married quite a few years, yet if my wife and I go away together we still find things to talk about, but then we get on and enjoy each others company. Maybe that's the unusual bit.

And yet you find time to do all the people watching.

You can take in what's happening around you whilst having a conversation, also can give you something to talk about. Maybe you should try it sometime.

What makes you think I don't? What I don't do is judge others. They may be talking about the lasted tiktok, tweet etc.

Apologies, I took you at your word when you said its all about the food when you eat out earlier. Personally I think eating out is about the whole experience and the company you keep. I've just been out with some friends, the food was good, the whole experience was improved by the company and the atmosphere resulting. I did use my phone briefly, but I apologised and explained why to the others. Then I reported back that our mutual friend's hospital appointment had gone well and he'd call me in the morning. That took a few seconds, not several minutes of scrolling through screens.
Am I judgemental? Probably. Do I care? No.

Yes, eating out is all about the food, but I do sometimes have a conversation at the same time (I thought you were suggesting I try this bit). I don't have any interest in other diners though (so not willing to try that bit).

On a related topic, a trivial thing that annoys me. People talking to me while I'm trying to study the menu. I don't multi-task.

pblakeney

People insisting on holding a conversation while everyone is eating. Either wait for a response or face talking with a full mouth. Conversation between courses is a delight.

Pross

Also, waiting staff that ask if everything is alright with your meal as soon as you take your first bite.

Pross

Plus dining companions who aren't happy with their food but won't actually tell the staff. I mean, I get it if you are eating at a friends house but what other product or service would you pay for but then not complain if it wasn't as good as you were expecting?

rick_chasey

High risk strategy if you don’t want other people’s bodily fluids in your food tbh

TheBigBean

I'm never brave enough to send food back if it will go out of my sight.