*sighs* Work Christmas Party.

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

You sound capable enough to find work somewhere - a left wing thinktank perhaps

I totally ballsed up the interview I got at compass. Shame!

There are a few more to chose from. Good luck.

phil s

I would consider some covert recording of your boss. Always good to have some solid evidence you can fall back on if the shit hits the fan.

rjsterry

phil s wrote:

I would consider some covert recording of your boss. Always good to have some solid evidence you can fall back on if the shoot hits the fan.

Or just make notes - less complex and fewer issues.

tailwindhome

Can't believe this has got to 7 pages

EKE_38BPM

Sounds like a horrible situation to be in, but if you can't/won't give the party a miss, just think like Omar Little: "Its all in the game, yo. Its all in the game."

I can't quite work out what Mrs RC did at the last party.
Was she a party animal, taking your colleagues into the toilets one by one and coming out 10 minutes later with sore knees and a stiff neck whilst they came out looking smug and adjusting their trousers or did she spend the whole evening sitting in a corner with her coat on and constantly looking at her watch?

Their insistance that she comes makes it seem more like the former. It also explains your reluctance to take her again!

rick_chasey

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Sounds like a horrible situation to be in, but if you can't/won't give the party a miss, just think like Omar Little: "Its all in the game, yo. Its all in the game."

I can't quite work out what Mrs RC did at the last party.

Neither can I. That's part of the mystery.

I can't get an answer.

EKE_38BPM

Sounds like the second of my two scenarios.

Sorry mate.

Edit: I should have said the first, not the second.

rick_chasey

S'alright.

I feel it's pushed me past the point of no return, which has its uplifting side - i.e. I am genuinely beginning to not care.

Explains why I told my boss to f*ck off and not talk to me like that again this morning when he started ripping on the present I got for the gf.

Surprised how effective that was.

EKE_38BPM

You're a young guy. As we get older we usually learn how to handle things a bit better. I remember (many moons ago) being 'forced' to go to a works party that I knew I'd hate and had a horrible evening. A similar situation happened a few years ago and I just told them straight that I don't fancy it. A little bit of easily batted away remarks then that was that.

You live and you learn (hopefully).

kelsen

Rick Chasey wrote:

S'alright.

I feel it's pushed me past the point of no return, which has its uplifting side - i.e. I am genuinely beginning to not care.

Explains why I told my boss to f*ck off and not talk to me like that again this morning when he started ripping on the present I got for the gf.

Surprised how effective that was.

Sounds to me like simple office bullying, and they've got you marked as the easy target by the fact that

a) you're young
b) you don't fit into their mold.

I'm assuming these guys are quite a few years older therefore they've played the game a lot longer than you have. Either play the game and play it better than them, or stand your moral ground but conduct yourself in such a way that it can't be used against you.

Telling your boss to f*ck off might be effective in the short term, but it's gonna work against you in the long run.

DonDaddyD

Why is it when I said 'play the game' I got shouted down and insulted?

Still, everyone is saying the same thing.

There are 2 issues at hand:

1). From what you've said it would seem that you are getting bullied at work. There are a number of valid ways you can deal with this. Many viable (and not so viable) solutions have been said in this thread. RJS' advice is probably the most sensible and severe.

Telling your boss to f-off isn't sensible under no circumstances. In all seriousness (i.e. not part of the game) always conduct yourself in a professional manner (professional doesn't automatically mean serious) or you may find that you've lost the argument/dispute.

2). The issue of the Christmas party.

It's just one party. If you knew what Paralegals had to do to get ahead. You're in an industry where frankly morals and principles are often secondary and forgotten in the rules of engagement of 'playing the game'. And bottom line, you have to 'play the game'. Even in the public sector (though it is slighty different).

You want to keep the job in the short term and get a good reference etc then just suck it up and go. You want to progress a career in recruitment (good reference/great reputation) then suck it up and go. You don't want the job or a career in recruitment then don't go. However, you don't have to bring your girlfriend.

Each and every one of us at work (and who has progressed our careers) has had to 'play the game'. We all seem to acknowledge this and somewhat accept the social/office politics of it all.

When I was 25 I hated 'playing the game'. My acceptance of it came with age.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Rick Chasey wrote:

S'alright.

I feel it's pushed me past the point of no return, which has its uplifting side - i.e. I am genuinely beginning to not care.

Explains why I told my boss to f*ck off and not talk to me like that again this morning when he started ripping on the present I got for the gf.

Surprised how effective that was.

What present have you bought for the gf?

bigmat

DonDaddyD wrote:

If you knew what Paralegals had to do to get ahead.

What do paralegals have to do to get ahead?! I fear they aint doing it here. Still, Christmas party kicks off in an hour's time...

clarkey cat

they're not called parablozzas for nothing.

DonDaddyD

BigMat wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

If you knew what Paralegals had to do to get ahead.

What do paralegals have to do to get ahead?! I fear they aint doing it here. Still, Christmas party kicks off in an hour's time...

Bit of adlib from Ms DDD on her Papalegals - in her day the Lawyers were militant treating them like that burd in Devil Wears Prada but with a lost less respect. "Can't handle a line, sacked. Can't handle your drink, sacked. Take the Barristers out get them plastered but make sure you're in at 7.30am to pick up my dry cleaning... oh and you'll be working late that night as well so cancel everything".

"All part of playing the game" she said. Look where she is now. S'was barefoot and pregnant. Now only barefoot.

EKE_38BPM

DonDaddyD wrote:

S'was barefoot and pregnant. Now only barefoot.

Time to get her knocked up again, I think!

clarkey cat

"Can't handle a line, sacked. Can't handle your drink, sacked. Take the Barristers out get them plastered but make sure you're in at 7.30am to pick up my dry cleaning... oh and you'll be working late that night as well so cancel everything".

Maybe back in the day DDD but you can't treat parablozzas like that anymore. Besides, whats the point - thats what trainees are for.

DonDaddyD

Point is everyone plays the game. Some people play it because they enjoy it, others play it to get ahead. But we all play it and we all at one point have had to do something (not work related but work orientated) that we didn't like.

clarkey cat

I can still taste the memories of it when I do a big burp.

DonDaddyD

clarkey cat wrote:

I can still taste the memories of it when I do a big burp.

I think this needs elaborating on.

jzed

RC - may have missed it but what was it your missus did or didn't do that has made it an issue for your colleagues? Its only a small group right, so dinner a few drinks after? How do your colleagues missus behave?

leodis75

I read the first two pages and so I took the below from them, any points I missed over 6 pages I apologise.

So to summarise:-

OP has boring GF who ignored everyone at Xmas party last year.
Office do not want a party pooper and request happy GF who socialises
OP gets upset and boiling with rage turns to a cycle forum for advice
OP then buys a non DIY present for GF and gets laughed at
OP then tells boss in polite way to fook off
OP then becomes office freak

So this boils down to your GF not been social and your silent rage inside. I would see a new GF and a new job.

FYFI.

lost_in_thought

Telling your boss to f*** off is just plain stupid.

Sounds like your refusal to play along is, not wholly unfairly by the sound of it, being construed as you being a miserable PITA. I mean, being mocked for your choice of gift for the OH is pretty much par for the course, grow up a bit and play along.

I suspect the same criticism is probably being levelled at your GF for her previous performance. Networking is important.

clarkey cat

Ah the fickle interweb turns...

greg66_tri_v2.0

lost_in_thought wrote:

Telling your boss to f*** off is just plain stupid.

Sounds like your refusal to play along is, not wholly unfairly by the sound of it, being construed as you being a miserable PITA. I mean, being mocked for your choice of gift for the OH is pretty much par for the course, grow up a bit and play along.

I suspect the same criticism is probably being levelled at your GF for her previous performance. Networking is important.

Likes.


[and enjoys seeing pot stirred...]

tailwindhome

Greg66 wrote:

Likes.


[and enjoys seeing leftie tormented by head girl...]

FTFY

Jay dubbleU

Rick Chasey wrote:

S'alright.

I feel it's pushed me past the point of no return, which has its uplifting side - i.e. I am genuinely beginning to not care.

Explains why I told my boss to f*ck off and not talk to me like that again this morning when he started ripping on the present I got for the gf.

Surprised how effective that was.

Usually is with bullies - stand up to them and they'll find an easier target - and forget the networking - you work with them every day - networking is only useful if you are making contacts. Don't let them drag you down to their level

rick_chasey

I think you're making more of telling my boss to f*ck off than it is.

It gets said quite often.

Telling your boss not to speak to you like that again, that was the point for me.

And LiT, you don't know what he was saying.

You're very presumptuous.

I only came on here to get it off my chest .

rick_chasey

And re the GF - she works in PR, and knows how to behave at a work party style event - if anything it's my lot that don't know how to behave.

Why would she want to network with them anyway? They're wannabe cityboys who aren't smart enough to be them.

pangolin

Why won't you say what she did last time? People keep asking, and it's the whole point of the story. Advice is pointless without knowing that.