*sighs* Work Christmas Party.

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Comments

  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,372
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    rjsterry wrote:

    One thing is certain: they cannot make your girlfriend attend, and you should not have to put up with any adverse treatment resulting from that. You're (understandably) being a bit evasive as to what this adverse treatment might be but I think you need to get some professional advice if it is really that bad.

    I am tempted.

    I know my seat's been a bit of a revolving door. I think 3 women in the past decade have sued people at my work (either where I am now or previously) successfully.

    Ultimately, they'll close ranks if I do decide to take legal action, since all the bosses are largely the same, and I don't have the sexual discrimination aspect, so I'd wonder if it was worth the bother. I'd rather line up a new job, pick up my profit share (small though that will be this year) and leave. That's the aim.

    Err, yes, get some professional advice - i.e. not off a cycling forum.

    @IP: have you ever dealt with photocopier salesmen? I simply do not have the words.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • daviesee
    daviesee Posts: 6,386
    Work life.

    Personal life.

    Seperate.

    That's my rule and nobody will make me break it.
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    ^^This^^
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • andyrr
    andyrr Posts: 1,823
    What would the fallout be, do you think, if you told your g/f that she's free to tell your work colleagues what ar8es they are if/when they exhibit that behaviour when she's there ?
    Since it isn't YOU that's telling them it might help in that you can have the excuse that your g/f has had one too many drinks and you have to take her home.
    If they are so obnoxious then I'd think that there might be a fair few insults flying around and her's wouldn't stand out excessively ?
    Or for once you could get pretty drunk - if it is a rare occurrance then you'll start feeling pretty grim and then your g/f has to get you out of the party, so at least you were seen to be taking part, for a while anyway, then having a legitimate excuse to leave. Drink loads of water and juice before bed and your recovery won't be too long.
    Feeling duty-bound to spend time, for the good of your job, with people you really dislike is not nice - I have friends and work colleagues, the 2 have crossed over very, very rarely - I'd not invite any of the people I directly work with to a party of mine.
  • neiltb
    neiltb Posts: 332
    go along, buy everyone else a couple of tequilas as soon as you get in, status elevated. Let the wine flow to everyone's glass during dinner, another round in. off to bed.

    Play their game at their rules, go high, then go home.

    does sound brutal though.
    FCN 12
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    I am right that it's totally crazy, right?

    This can't be normal, else I might have to start actually being evangelical about ways of life.

    You are right - unfortunately you work with a bunch of w*nkers

    You don't have to go - I haven't been to an office party for years - got ribbed about it the first couple of times, now they just accept it
  • Cafewanda
    Cafewanda Posts: 2,788
    Man up and play the game this time round. If it's messing you up mentally, you'll have to seriously consider how much longer you can carry on for, another job or not.

    The hooker idea is a great one.

    Good luck.
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,372
    This might be useful if the potential fallout from one or other of you not attending is as bad as you suggest.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    Pfft, they're brought it up again.

    *sighs*

    "Make sure she doesn't f*ck it for you"
    _
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,116
    Like has been said before, go along with it and bail as soon as they're too pi$$ed to notice/care.

    Longer term, get the hell out - probably out of the headhunting business altogether as you don't seem to feel that you fit in. Given your political leanings, working at a City headhunters must be a bit like a vegetarian working in an abbatoir? ;-)
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • CyclingBantam
    CyclingBantam Posts: 1,299
    I know this is very easy to say sat behind a pc but you need to man up a bit Rick.

    If you let them pressure you tell them to back off and butt out. Absolutely nothing to do with anyone else if she comes or not, or you do for that matter. It looks, from what you have described, they are simply pushing you in to things as they know it will work.

    If you stand up to them, and you can do it without being confrontational, they will get the message that it is nothing to do with them. Yeah you will get stick but so what.

    Absolutely not blaming you here though and I am only commenting on what you have described but hey, its on a forum and you asked.
  • fossyant
    fossyant Posts: 2,549
    Personally, I'd do what I wanted. Like I said, with good colleagues a Christmas party is great, but with people you don't like - nah I'd refuse to go (and do). Lads night out / meal with OH - painting nails, shaving your legs - anything !
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    Yeah.

    I made it clear, don't worry.

    Tempted to email the big boss and say something along the lines of 'If you keep saying things like x I'm not inclined to take her at all..."

    The problem is I'm outnumbered in this by all to-one in this sh1tshow.
    _
  • jzed
    jzed Posts: 2,926
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Pfft, they're brought it up again.

    *sighs*

    "Make sure she doesn't f*ck it for you"

    Cheeky feckers - at this point I think I would have landed a Glasgow kiss - might as well go out with a bang.
  • fossyant
    fossyant Posts: 2,549
    Brought what up ?

    Not taking the OH ? or OH not boozing/mingling enough last time ?

    Feck them and don't go -
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,372
    I think CB may have a point, they can probably see that they are getting to you, so will keep bringing it up. Time to dig your heels in: "don't worry, she's not coming. Is that a problem?"
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • daviesee
    daviesee Posts: 6,386
    Off topic and not meant to be an insult. I don't know your exact role for a start, but....

    I find it rather ironic that a headhunter can't find himself another job.

    Just sayin' like.
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    daviesee wrote:
    Off topic and not meant to be an insult. I don't know your exact role for a start, but....

    I find it rather ironic that a headhunter can't find himself another job.

    Just sayin' like.

    Yeah, you'd think.

    In fairness to me, we place very senior people in investment banks.

    I'm a 23yr old with a history degree.

    My nouse over the phone to come across as not-spivvy and heavyweight to bankers and tease information out of them when chatting isn't much use when trying to get a job, say, as a monkey in whitehall.
    _
  • tailwindhome
    tailwindhome Posts: 19,341
    You should propose to your girlfriend at this party.

    Just before the main course is served.

    Compose a sonnet for the occasion.
    “New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!
  • CyclingBantam
    CyclingBantam Posts: 1,299
    TailWindHome wrote:
    You should propose to your girlfriend at this party.

    Just before the main course is served.

    Compose a sonnet for the occasion.

    Cycling Bantam 'Likes' this.

    :lol::lol::lol:
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Why is it when I said 'Man up and play the game' or Man up and don't go' and 'Man up and tell them you make a distinction between professional and personal life' I get shouted down? :cry:
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Why is it when I said 'Man up and play the game' or Man up and don't go' and 'Man up and tell them you make a distinction between professional and personal life' I get shouted down? :cry:

    I don't think I ever said there was a distinction, beyond the fact it's by and large obligatory to bring someone if you are in a relationship.
    _
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    daviesee wrote:
    Off topic and not meant to be an insult. I don't know your exact role for a start, but....

    I find it rather ironic that a headhunter can't find himself another job.

    Just sayin' like.

    Yeah, you'd think.

    In fairness to me, we place very senior people in investment banks.

    I'm a 23yr old with a history degree.

    My nouse over the phone to come across as not-spivvy and heavyweight to bankers and tease information out of them when chatting isn't much use when trying to get a job, say, as a monkey in whitehall.
    U'd be surprised when dealing with the upper levels the skills are interchangable I find...

    Plus you're academic background would be of interest to the more 'traditionally trained' Whitehall/Public sector/Voluntary sector monkey's...

    Just saying.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Why is it when I said 'Man up and play the game' or Man up and don't go' and 'Man up and tell them you make a distinction between professional and personal life' I get shouted down? :cry:

    I don't think I ever said there was a distinction, beyond the fact it's by and large obligatory to bring someone if you are in a relationship.
    Say it with me. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to".

    Say it to them as RJS said it. "Don't worry, she's not coming. Problem?"
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • FoldingJoe
    FoldingJoe Posts: 1,327
    How does your gf act in comparison to the other women there?

    As RJS said, tell them she isn't coming and then ask them if that is a problem. If it is, ask them to reconcile their two, seemingly, conflicting stances!

    As said, I think they may be tugging your chain, especially if the behaviour your gf exhibits is no different to their partners.
    Little boy to Obama: "My Dad says that you read all our emails"
    Obama to little boy: "He's not your real Dad"

    Kona Honky Tonk for sale: http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=40090&t=13000807
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    edited December 2011
    You may just be the office whipping boy and need to exert your testicular fortitude to up your status from Gamma to Beta. That or get onside with the Alpha; that's what the weakest Lion in the Pride does. He sides with the Alpha to protect himself from the others.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • tailwindhome
    tailwindhome Posts: 19,341
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Why is it when I said 'Man up and play the game' or Man up and don't go' and 'Man up and tell them you make a distinction between professional and personal life' I get shouted down? :cry:

    I don't think I ever said there was a distinction, beyond the fact it's by and large obligatory to bring someone if you are in a relationship.
    Say it with me. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to".

    Said that on page 1

    You're a grown man for god's sake. Don't go.
    “New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!
  • MonkeyMonster
    MonkeyMonster Posts: 4,629
    If you don't plan on being there for long then you shouldn't be bothered by the idea that your future will be decided by your or gf's behaviour...

    but still sucks them being such pricks
    Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
    The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    TailWindHome wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Why is it when I said 'Man up and play the game' or Man up and don't go' and 'Man up and tell them you make a distinction between professional and personal life' I get shouted down? :cry:

    I don't think I ever said there was a distinction, beyond the fact it's by and large obligatory to bring someone if you are in a relationship.
    Say it with me. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to".

    Said that on page 1

    You're a grown man for god's sake. Don't go.

    Look. Take it from me. I'm ballsier than most of you. In fact it gets me into a lot of trouble. This is non-negotiable. If you think it is, you don't understand the situation.
    _
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    MonkeyMonster wrote:
    If you don't plan on being there for long then you shouldn't be bothered by the idea that your future will be decided by your or gf's behaviour...

    but still sucks them being such pricks

    No, that doesn't bother me. The premise does.

    As does not having any positive outlook on the job hunt..
    _

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