*sighs* Work Christmas Party.

rick_chasey

It's mine soon.

The boss of the office came out with a great one today.

"So Rick, you're going to get properly drunk this time, right? None of this reining it in because it's your first work party'.."

Great.


My actual boss told me 'as a mate' that apparently, if my girlfriend behaves like she did last time (which was, polite, lovely and not drunk) that it would be in my career interest to not bring her. It had been 'noted' that her performance was apparently bad (it wasn't. They were awful), and that had reflected badly on me.

Seriously, where the f*ck do I work?

And why the f*ck can't I get a job anywhere else?

I'm dreading it.

rjsterry

If it's that bad - and judging by your other descriptions of your office, I'm sure it will be - would you even want to inflict it on her in the first place?

rick_chasey

rjsterry wrote:

If it's that bad - and judging by your other descriptions of your office, I'm sure it will be - would you even want to inflict it on her in the first place?

In short, because she gets that I get plenty more sh!t for the next month or so if she doesn't turn up than if she does.

She'll be alright at the party (by any normal reasonable standards anyway), and they won't make it too bad for her > they tend to focus the sh!t on anyone male and more junior.

I guess she must like me > I've given her plenty of opportunities to bail.

greg66_tri_v2.0

This sounds awesome. I bet they make you read aloud from the Daily Telegraph then fall about laughing drunkenly.

Can we come?

dhope

Greg66 wrote:

This sounds awesome. I bet they make you read aloud from the Daily Telegraph then fall about laughing drunkenly.

Can we come?

You just want to just show him up because you have the Telegraph memorised

Kieran_Burns

I genuinely don't get this. You got spoken to because your girlfriend BEHAVED herself????

Can someone explain this to me? Our works parties are just for the team and we have a right laugh - just a bunch going out and enjoying ourselves.

When we've had the big formal parties in the past, they've been the same... so I'm genuinely confused by your post.

tailwindhome

Grow a set and don't go

Or grow a set and go, get rat ar5ed and tell everyone what you think of them.




This thread needs some input from Greg T.

WWGTD

essex-commuter

I struggle to believe that people, places, and environments like that actually exist. I feel for you.

SimonAH

What a horrible environment. Just one thing though - you are certain that your chain is not being yanked aren't you?

You and girlfriend behaving in a restrained manner reflecting badly on you? Hmmmmm......

rick_chasey

TailWindHome wrote:

Grow a set and don't go

Or grow a set and go, get rat ar5ed and tell everyone what you think of them.




This thread needs some input from Greg T.

WWGTD

I guess it's a matter of short term gain for long term loss if I don't go. I spend all day with these guys and the sh!t I'd get wouldn't be worth it, and i'm not just talking a little banter.

I don't really like getting sh!tfaced.

I'd love to say what I really think, but if I did, I'd more or less be handing in my notice, and since I can't find work elsewhere, it's kinda tricky.

I just try and keep my head down and do good enough work that it'd be a little tougher to fire me legitimately.

rick_chasey

SimonAH wrote:

What a horrible environment. Just one thing though - you are certain that your chain is not being yanked aren't you?

You and girlfriend behaving in a restrained manner reflecting badly on you? Hmmmmm......

I think the inference was she didn't go around very obviously talking and making an effort to everyone.

But quite frankly, whatever my girlfriend does shouldn't reflect on me at work, especially career wise.

London_Falcon

Go to the party with your girlfriend. Keep a close eye on the door and once the first person leaves bail out. Nobody really notices once they're hammered but if you get any stick for bailing early tell them she made you a better offer. End of.

greg66_tri_v2.0

I really don't know what you're complaining about. It sounds like the sort of place where there's a three line whip to attend the lap dancing bar after the party and it is mandatory for everyone to have a lap dance. C'mon Rick, get with the team. Are you a predator or are you prey? Raawwwrrrr!

What would you rather do? It's well known that at charities and VOs the Xmas party consists of everyone moping around bemoaning how terrible the world is and how little difference they have made that year to changing it. That plus a small bottle of fair trade organic lentil-based alcohol keeps the Samaritans busy for the whole evening.

I recommend you acquaint yourself with Harry Enfield's plasterer character. Should be on youtube. Get just-this-side-of-incontinence slaughtered, then start regaling your colleagues with "Look at my wad!" routines.

You'll have a promotion by New Year's Day, and be running the place by the summer. FACT!

rick_chasey

London_Falcon wrote:

Go to the party with your girlfriend. Keep a close eye on the door and once the first person leaves bail out. Nobody really notices once they're hammered but if you get any stick for bailing early tell them she made you a better offer. End of.

Is pretty much the plan.

Dinner should only last 1½hrs or so, which will be the worst.

The bar etc will be tolerable, only because they'll be crawling by then.

rick_chasey

Greg66 wrote:

What would you rather do? It's well known that at charities and VOs the Xmas party consists of everyone moping around bemoaning how terrible the world is and how little difference they have made that year to changing it. That plus a small bottle of fair trade organic lentil-based alcohol keeps the Samaritans busy for the whole evening.

Sounds like a good party. :P

greg66_tri_v2.0

Rick Chasey wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

What would you rather do? It's well known that at charities and VOs the Xmas party consists of everyone moping around bemoaning how terrible the world is and how little difference they have made that year to changing it. That plus a small bottle of fair trade organic lentil-based alcohol keeps the Samaritans busy for the whole evening.

Sounds like a good party. :P

I hate to burst your bubble, but I am pretty sure that in Soviet Russia etc, etc they drink pretty hard, and expect everyone else to as well.

Last month I was "entertained" by some Russians by being force fed whiskey as if I were a fecking goose in a foie gras factory. Awful.

rick_chasey

Greg66 wrote:

I hate to burst your bubble, but I am pretty sure that in Soviet Russia etc, etc they drink pretty hard, and expect everyone else to as well.

Last month I was "entertained" by some Russians by being force fed whiskey as if I were a fecking goose in a foie gras factory. Awful.

Yeah, I've heard that. Shot when you walk in. Shot before dinner. Insist you drink vodka like you would water at dinner, then a bottle of vodka to polish off afterwards.

Headhuunter

Must remember not to interview with your firm if anyone suggests it! Sounds like a nightmare... It was my ex work Xmas drinks yesterday, I was sad not to have been there, they're usually a good laugh

Gallywomack

Is it a small company/office? They're the worst for that kind of shoot. My mrs wouldn't stand for any of that bollox (which would be ace of course, as it would mean I could go by myself...)

I didn't go to our Christmas party this year, I simply couldn't be bov'd with it. Been to one, been to 'em all.

rick_chasey

Yeah it's very small. You could count the people in our office on your hands, hence the need to bring along other people.

notsoblue

Greg66 wrote:

What would you rather do? It's well known that at charities and VOs the Xmas party consists of everyone moping around bemoaning how terrible the world is and how little difference they have made that year to changing it. That plus a small bottle of fair trade organic lentil-based alcohol keeps the Samaritans busy for the whole evening.

<humourless defensive mode>
Well, actually, recent government changes require us to quantify the difference we make to justify the money we receive, and the figures speak for themselves. This is mostly due to the government reducing or closing down its own initiatives in the same area. The third sector is only going to prosper as society is slowly convinced by the coalition that governments can't afford compassion.

ahem.

Anyway, we rely on the supplier xmas outings for the booze and strippers...

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

If it's that bad - and judging by your other descriptions of your office, I'm sure it will be - would you even want to inflict it on her in the first place?

In short, because she gets that I get plenty more sh!t for the next month or so if she doesn't turn up than if she does.

She'll be alright at the party (by any normal reasonable standards anyway), and they won't make it too bad for her > they tend to focus the sh!t on anyone male and more junior.

I guess she must like me > I've given her plenty of opportunities to bail.

Then they're an even bigger bunch of ****s than I first thought. Just tell them that her work party is the same night if you need an excuse, or as TWH suggests just don't go at all. If you get some blowback next year, just invite triathlon boy out for a training run and destroy his very soul - that'll at least divert the blowback on to him.

rolf_f

It's icy out there. Careful you don't fall off your bike on the day of the party.......

Naaah, on second thoughts nobbers like that wouldn't regard that as an acceptable reason for a no show. :roll:

rick_chasey

I am right that it's totally crazy, right?

This can't be normal, else I might have to start actually being evangelical about ways of life.

clarkey cat

My Xmas party involves everyone turning up an hour late, checking their blackberries through the meal and leaving early to go back to the office. Its grim.

SimonAH

Mine is tonight. Meet in a pub, meal at Jamie Oliver's nosherie in Cardiff, probably on to another pub - or a club and if it's the latter I'll bail at that point and go to my hotel (I'm too old for pounding club music and too married to go on the pull).

Generally speaking I really dislike office Christmas parties, but in this firm I see four out of twenty UK based colleagues regularly and the rest on a blue moon basis. Raising a few glasses once a year is good (and often cathartic).

The solution for your upcoming horror? MTFU and pretend to enjoy it for one night, stick to shorts and pour them on the floor or in plant pots if you want to stay sober. Give the girlfriend the excuse of a streaming cold "She really wanted to come but didn't want to give you lot the lurgy". And then start working LinkedIn and any other resources you have to get a new job with a less odious group of people.

Wrath Rob

Secretly record some of the "banter", quit and claim constructive dismissal then sue them for everything their worth. Seriously, from how you describe them they won't stop until their either out of work as the company has gone bankrupt or their in jail.

bigmat

Pretend you have a new girlfriend, hire a hooker for the night and tell her to "entertain" your colleagues as much as possible. You can then "dump" her afterwards and get back with your real g/f. You'll be an office legend!

londonlivvy

BigMat wrote:

Pretend you have a new girlfriend, hire a hooker for the night and tell her to "entertain" your colleagues as much as possible. You can then "dump" her afterwards and get back with your real g/f. You'll be an office legend!

This is the best plan. Definitely

fossyant

Rick Chasey wrote:

Yeah it's very small. You could count the people in our office on your hands, hence the need to bring along other people.

Ah you is a bit screwed then. I've ducked the main party this year, and last. Depends upon colleagues - if they are good laugh, all get etc, on then great - those of us that get on had our own night out, but the main "doo" is full of folk you'd rather not socialise with.

You can't duck out too easily with it being small. Got any ill granny's or 24 hour sick bugs ?

asprilla

BigMat wrote:

Pretend you have a new girlfriend, hire a hooker for the night and tell her to "entertain" your colleagues as much as possible. You can then "dump" her afterwards and get back with your real g/f. You'll be an office legend!

/starts quite chant

do it do it do it do it do it do it......