*sighs* Work Christmas Party.

daviesee

Final solution.

It is time to develop a cough, possibly even a chest infection.
You can't go. You don't want to infect others and ruin their Christmases.

It won't be the first time a sickie has been ever called upon.

DonDaddyD

Rick Chasey wrote:

TailWindHome wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Why is it when I said 'Man up and play the game' or Man up and don't go' and 'Man up and tell them you make a distinction between professional and personal life' I get shouted down?

I don't think I ever said there was a distinction, beyond the fact it's by and large obligatory to bring someone if you are in a relationship.

Say it with me. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to".

Said that on page 1

You're a grown man for god's sake. Don't go.

Look. Take it from me. I'm ballsier than most of you. In fact it gets me into a lot of trouble. This is non-negotiable. If you think it is, you don't understand the situation.

WTF. Non-negotiable. W.T.F.

That's some serious programming they've got going on there. How the hell is asking someone, who doesn't even work at the company, to attend a social event a non-negotiable request?

What if your girlfriend doesn't want to go? What she suddenly doesn't have a right to say "No"? At what point did you sign away her human rights and yours for that matter?

rjsterry

DonDaddyD wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

TailWindHome wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Why is it when I said 'Man up and play the game' or Man up and don't go' and 'Man up and tell them you make a distinction between professional and personal life' I get shouted down?

I don't think I ever said there was a distinction, beyond the fact it's by and large obligatory to bring someone if you are in a relationship.

Say it with me. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to".

Said that on page 1

You're a grown man for god's sake. Don't go.

Look. Take it from me. I'm ballsier than most of you. In fact it gets me into a lot of trouble. This is non-negotiable. If you think it is, you don't understand the situation.

WTF. Non-negotiable. W.T.F.

That's some serious programming they've got going on there. How the hell is asking someone, who doesn't even work at the company, to attend a social event a non-negotiable request?

What if your girlfriend doesn't want to go? What she suddenly doesn't have a right to say "No"? At what point did you sign away her human rights and yours for that matter?

I think it's Rick's attendance that is non-negotiable, rather than Ms Chasey.

ketsbaia

Can't you pretend you've had a big row and it's all over?

Then miraculously get back together before Christmas?

tailwindhome

What would Tom Boonen do?

neiltb

Tom boonen would do a couple of lines on the dining room table I guess, I couldn't even tell you if he'd share.

Everyone says sod it to the xmas party sometimes, just stay home, turn off the phone and suck up a ribbing for a bit, someone else will piss themselves before long and you'll be in the clear.

Jay dubbleU

Before I had my present job I used to work for an American software company -no not that one - where I had no personal life so I understand where you're coming from - tell them you've broken up with the gf, hire a hooker and get her to do a strip on the table halfway through the main course :evil:

Agent57

Rick Chasey wrote:

you don't understand the situation.

I think that's a given. If I didn't want to go to an office party, I just wouldn't go. As for being mandatory to take your partner if you're in a relationship... well, just... LULZ.

fossyant

Give the guy a break, he is 23, not long out of Uni. He doesn't have 20 odd plus years dealing with idiots.

In my early 40's and I do as I please at events like this.

MaxwellBygraves

Has your girlfriend expressed an opinion? Does she actually want to go?

rick_chasey

With a bit of distance, what's also so strange is that they seem to be making such a big deal out of it.

I mean, it's just a bloody office party.

Big whoop.

Jay dubbleU

Rick Chasey wrote:

With a bit of distance, what's also so strange is that they seem to be making such a big deal out of it.

I mean, it's just a bloody office party.

Big whoop.

NOW your getting it - they are obviously sad people who have no lives outside work

rjsterry

It occurs to me that this may their idea of some kind of (incredibly juvenile) 'test'. I'm not sure I could resist calling their bluff*. The worst they could do is fire you on some spurious grounds, which I'm sure would come under the heading of unfair dismissal and may even be a blessing in disguise.

* but then I do have a slightly self-destructive stubborn streak

daviesee

Rick Chasey wrote:

With a bit of distance, what's also so strange is that they seem to be making such a big deal out of it.

I mean, it's just a bloody office party.

Big whoop.

Sums it up. Good for you.

Headhuunter

daviesee wrote:

Off topic and not meant to be an insult. I don't know your exact role for a start, but....

I find it rather ironic that a headhunter can't find himself another job.

Just sayin' like.

I shouldn't think most headhunters would be able to place themselves in the roles they carry out searches for, some hhunters come from the industry they operate in but even then, searches we work on tend to require very specific skillsets. If the employer could take any old tom, dick or harry they wouldn't need a headhunter to spend endless hours on the phone trying to find the perfect candidate and they wouldn't need to pay the fee. However there are recruitment for recruitment firms and headhunter for headhunter companies too!

rolf_f

Crikey - it sounds like Life on Mars! Rick - do your colleagues all have large sideburns and keep hip flasks of whisky in their filing cabinets? :roll:

daviesee

Headhuunter wrote:

I shouldn't think most headhunters would be able to place themselves in the roles they carry out searches for, some hhunters come from the industry they operate in but even then, searches we work on tend to require very specific skillsets. If the employer could take any old tom, dick or harry they wouldn't need a headhunter to spend endless hours on the phone trying to find the perfect candidate and they wouldn't need to pay the fee. However there are recruitment for recruitment firms and headhunter for headhunter companies too!

I would have thought that by constantly being involved in the process of getting people positions then said people would pick up on how to best present a C.V. in the first instance, and themselves in the second.
Never mind, I had had wrong thoughts before
Still kind of ironic though.

lost_in_thought

Ahhhhh you're 23, that explains a lot! Don't worry, in a few years' time you'll look back on your 'I'm ballsy, yes I am damn it' post and laugh.

Anyhow! When I first read it I thought they meant 'hey your GF was not being flirtatious with everyone and dancing etc.' whereas on latter reading it sounds like they're saying 'hey your GF was being bl**dy miserable just sitting in the corner.' What DID she do at the last one?

While I agree that that *shouldn't* affect your career, perhaps give her a little pep talk on the importance of networking, and how mingling a little would help you out? I mean, in a small office that does something like recruitment, that sort of boozy xmas party bonding is important.

If you hate it so much I strongly suggest a career change, I sincerely doubt it'll change.

Play the game... and remember it's just a game.

rick_chasey

lost_in_thought wrote:

If you hate it so much I strongly suggest a career change, I sincerely doubt it'll change.

Play the game... and remember it's just a game.

Way ahead of you on the first.

And it's no a game is it? I spend more time with them than anyone else, and they pay my wage.

lost_in_thought

Rick Chasey wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

If you hate it so much I strongly suggest a career change, I sincerely doubt it'll change.

Play the game... and remember it's just a game.

Way ahead of you on the first.

And it's no a game is it? I spend more time with them than anyone else, and they pay my wage.

You misunderstand. The 'game' part is the social participation, the being-a-1980s-boozehound-caricature, the participation in their social ritual.

It shouldn't be, but it is a huge part of certain industries. Real Estate is definitely one of them, to succeed you need to embrace it, and I suspect recruitment is another.

rick_chasey

I'm not embracing my boss pointing at every black guy in a bar and shouting 'John Fashnu;.

Nor am I embracing my boss making out that the perosn I live with has anything to do with my firm or my work.

I've already told him to f*ck off a few times (literally) and he doesn't seem to get it.

clarkey cat

print out this thread and leave it on his desk.

SimonAH

Rick Chasey wrote:

I'm not embracing my boss pointing at every black guy in a bar and shouting 'John Fashnu;.

Nor am I embracing my boss making out that the perosn I live with has anything to do with my firm or my work.

I've already told him to f*ck off a few times (literally) and he doesn't seem to get it.

FFS. Go carry bricks for a bit until you find a new job.

daviesee

Rick Chasey wrote:

And it's no a game is it? I spend more time with them than anyone else, and they pay my wage.

A career is not a game.
Office politics is. If you take it seriously, it will mess with your head.
Do the job, play the game, fcuk the politics.

dhope

daviesee wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

And it's no a game is it? I spend more time with them than anyone else, and they pay my wage.

A career is not a game.
Office politics is. If you take it seriously, it will mess with your head.
Do the job, play the game, fcuk the politics.

+1 to playing the game.
As said, we're not saying that having a job and paying the bills is a game, just that once you have a job then there are certain aspects that you play along with in order to ease the rest along.
I end up with a slightly different patter when talking to IT vs Front Office, or when easing through technical changes that, depending on the wording, may or may not require ludicrous levels of testing. You learn what hoops need to be jumped through and play accordingly for those parts.

If having to adopting a persona you dislike is 100% of the job then it's time to get a different job.

(sorry if it sounds patronising)

rick_chasey

I get that.

How else have I survived for as long as I have

They seem to think I'm OK, just a bit prickly in bits. I've gone out with drinks before and it was OK, save for the John Fashnu from time to time.

It's just now I think they're crossing the line with me.

clarkey cat

there there

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

I get that.

How else have I survived for as long as I have

They seem to think I'm OK, just a bit prickly in bits. I've gone out with drinks before and it was OK, save for the John Fashnu from time to time.

It's just now I think they're crossing the line with me.

Sounds like it's time to jump even if you don't have a specific target to jump to. You sound capable enough to find work somewhere - a left wing thinktank perhaps

rick_chasey

rjsterry wrote:

You sound capable enough to find work somewhere - a left wing thinktank perhaps

I totally ballsed up the interview I got at compass. Shame!

notsoblue

Rick Chasey wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

You sound capable enough to find work somewhere - a left wing thinktank perhaps

I totally ballsed up the interview I got at compass. Shame!

I read the popup on their site as "SIGN UP AND GET FIRED TODAY!"