The Receptionist....

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  • MaxwellBygraves
    MaxwellBygraves Posts: 1,353
    A truly entertaining read!
    "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! " - Homer
  • jzed
    jzed Posts: 2,926
    MaxwellBygraves wrote:
    A truly entertaining read!

    Seems the entertainment is over
  • The Rookie
    The Rookie Posts: 27,816
    I just can't believe no-one else picked up on this .......

    So the Husband was abusive, what did he do, call her "a filthy dirty rotten slag with no knicker elsatic?"

    Sounds more factually accurate than abusive if that is the case.......

    Simon
    Currently riding a Whyte T130C, X0 drivetrain, Magura Trail brakes converted to mixed wheel size (homebuilt wheels) with 140mm Fox 34 Rhythm and RP23 suspension. 12.2Kg.
  • iclestu
    iclestu Posts: 503
    hambones wrote:
    I'm still alive!! :D

    Whilst not every aspect of the OP may have been factually correct, some certainly were...

    As a consequence I have been suitably chastised and asked to at least remove the OP (knowing that subsequent quotes would remain).

    My glib attitude towards certain people has indeed caused some trouble and clearly in hindsight I shouldn't have made light of such an issue!

    Oh well... :twisted:

    No sign of him for a day or two... Banned from posting? In hospital after his t'other half got hold of him? In restraints!?
    FCN 7: Dawes Galaxy Ultra 2012 - sofa-like comfort to eat up the miles

    Reserve: 2010 Boardman CX Pro
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Reading all of yougottissues' posts I've come to the conclusion that actually he / she was not a protagonist in this plot, still I could be wrong.

    Hambones, still alive? Still able to sing in a low register?
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • itboffin
    itboffin Posts: 20,072
    Wonder how hambones is doing on his LEJOG

    fly on the wall/tent anyone?
    Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
    Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
    Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
  • MonkeyMonster
    MonkeyMonster Posts: 4,629
    so what happened here then hambones?

    nudged while looking for a different thread :D
    Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
    The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,897
    This was mentioned in another thread. Hambones did say that he couldn't write part 2 or 3. So it goes as far as part 3, there's lots more to be told then. We should keep pestering him, I'm sure he doesn't mind at all. I hope
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    This thread is totally boss!!!!

    I need to know the outcome - chapeau to the nudger!
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 62,011
    Epic thread resurrection Batman :lol:

    Be careful, you might scare hambones off just when he was starting to reappear....
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • jzed
    jzed Posts: 2,926
    He said never written, not never told. Story session at the Morpeth then.....
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    We have a new girl in my office.......the software developers have all lost their ability to speak around her, like watching a bunch of shoegazing teens....

    May have to become the fatherly figure to a few of them and show them the ropes of talking to girls......

    :-s
  • MonkeyMonster
    MonkeyMonster Posts: 4,629
    gtvlusso wrote:
    We have a new girl in my office.......the software developers have all lost their ability to speak around her, like watching a bunch of shoegazing teens....

    May have to become the fatherly figure to a few of them and show them the ropes of talking to girls......

    :-s

    pics or it hasn't happened...
    Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
    The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    f*ck, I am quite senior here - I could get killed......

    She's, alright - but nothing too special; Petite blond. Now, if you were to ask about the MILF that works in the estate agency opposite my office.......
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    hambones wrote:
    I am drunk as I type this!

    Before Christmas there was a thread about inappropriate works do's - although to be fair it may have been on another forum! At the time I posted that the work receptionist may have had a thing for me and she was my reserve.

    As it transpires she had a thing for me and one other at work - we both shared the trait of baldness which worked for her! This other turned out to be a guy I had agreed to ride with this Easter undertaking Lejog. It was quickly established that she was having an affair with him on account of abusive behaviour by her husband. Not wanting to miss out on a clear opportunity, I too engaged in an affair with her!

    Almost inevitably, my superior performance/prowess/physique took it's toll - I became her God! However, where I was all about stamina, endurance, quality - my Lejog buddy was more about Wham bam quantity! She began to fall in love with me - a game I have often played having been named on 2 previous divorce petitions!

    An amazing weekend followed - 12 hours of passion...

    She was going to end it with the other on Wednesday just gone...

    I will confess - she saw him on the Tuesday for a meaningless shag...

    I have broken her heart as a consequence... such is life

    Any further details - please ask :)

    For reference.

    I still can't get past the "My mate was shagging a burd so I started shagging her too" logic. Didn't she have a friend you could have boshed?

    Y'all should have just had a threesome and be done with it.

    How does one embark on an affair anyway? If you're in a relationship, and the woman knows it, if you've got it wrong and she rejects you then you'll forever be labeled 'scumbag' at work. That's professionally damaging for some.

    Got to have a lot of sand to try your luck at work when everyone knows you're married.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,897
    gtvlusso wrote:
    f*ck, I am quite senior here - I could get killed......

    She's, alright - but nothing too special; Petite blond. Now, if you were to ask about the MILF that works in the estate agency opposite my office.......

    If she works opposite you can take pics. It won't be harrassment in the workplace, just plain harrassment. It'll be fine, you might not get arrested.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Veronese68 wrote:
    gtvlusso wrote:
    f*ck, I am quite senior here - I could get killed......

    She's, alright - but nothing too special; Petite blond. Now, if you were to ask about the MILF that works in the estate agency opposite my office.......

    If she works opposite you can take pics. It won't be harrassment in the workplace, just plain harrassment. It'll be fine, you might not get arrested.

    Doesn't he have enough kids? :roll:
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    I'm all about entertaining - you can look/chat to/possibly flirt, but anything else is a major fubar.....

    I have my code....My wife wrote it for me in permanent ink on my.....
  • rubertoe
    rubertoe Posts: 3,994
    I have 17 pages of thread to catch up on before i can possibly pass comment and make moral judgements :lol::lol:
    "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

    PX Kaffenback 2 = Work Horse
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  • Rich158
    Rich158 Posts: 2,348
    rubertoe wrote:
    I have 17 pages of thread to catch up on before i can possibly pass comment and make moral judgements :lol::lol:

    +1 I saw the start of thread, how did I miss so much fun :shock:

    Looks like my productivity will take a dive this afternoon as I feel morally obliged to read the whole thing before passing judgement
    pain is temporary, the glory of beating your mates to the top of the hill lasts forever.....................

    Revised FCN - 2
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,897
    gtvlusso wrote:
    I'm all about entertaining - you can look/chat to/possibly flirt, but anything else is a major fubar.....

    I have my code....My wife wrote it for me in permanent ink on my.....

    I completely understand and agree with that. But living life vicariously by leading others astray is allowed I'm sure.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    I feel that it is my duty, as a manager, to encourage my team in all facets of their life. Some of the software developers I manage have a better relationship with their wifi router than any human, female or male.

    This is not acceptable to me, people should be able to converse with one another without mumbling, going red and shoegazing. Simple social interractions should not create the fuss that they do with some of the guys in here....I mean, it is really sad! Some really lovely people who will/would make great better halves, but are unable to talke to girls without becoming complete adolescents! They could all be gay, of course, but that would be unlikely....

    As such, I feel that I should correct this behavior and try to terminate the unhealthy relationship they have with computers....

    [scoobydoo]
    If it wasn't for that meddling manager.....
    [/scoobydoo]
  • lostboysaint
    lostboysaint Posts: 4,250
    gtvlusso wrote:
    I feel that it is my duty, as a manager, to encourage my team in all facets of their life. Some of the software developers I manage have a better relationship with their wifi router than any human, female or male.

    As such, I feel that I should correct this behavior and try to terminate the unhealthy relationship they have with computers....

    Said the man typing on an internet forum............. ;)
    Trail fun - Transition Bandit
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  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,897
    I walked into reception once as a couple of the girls were complaining about all the blokes hear being pervs. When I complained I was told I was the exception. I took umbrage at that, only to be told that I could perv with style and humour so it was acceptable.
    This is the old car trade so we are in the '70s as far as political correctness goes.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    lostboysaint wrote:
    gtvlusso wrote:
    I feel that it is my duty, as a manager, to encourage my team in all facets of their life. Some of the software developers I manage have a better relationship with their wifi router than any human, female or male.

    As such, I feel that I should correct this behavior and try to terminate the unhealthy relationship they have with computers....

    Said the man typing on an internet forum............. ;)

    A what now?!?!?!?

    :-)
  • rubertoe
    rubertoe Posts: 3,994
    edited September 2011
    Thread read in its entirety now

    Basically it all comes down to two things

    a) how many Stellas you have
    b) How big the norks are.

    Morals - pffff go to church if you wanna talk about morals (the thread was derailed for some time on this issue)

    K_B legend for the initial qoute...now where is Hambone with the outcome or did it just drop off?
    "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

    PX Kaffenback 2 = Work Horse
    B-Twin Alur 700 = Sundays and Hills
  • flimflam_machine
    flimflam_machine Posts: 263
    rubertoe wrote:
    Thread read in its entirety now

    Basically it all comes down to two things

    a) how mStella'sllas you have
    b) How big the norks are.

    Morals - pffff go to church if you wanna talk about morals

    Why on earth would you go there?! It's much more fun to discuss morality in the context of hambones' pseudo-threesome with his workmate and the receptionist.
  • ga02clr
    ga02clr Posts: 97
    I have just read the thread in full... in one sitting. EPIC... we must have the next instalment or at least confirmation as to how LEGOG went
  • redvee
    redvee Posts: 11,922
    gtvlusso wrote:
    f*ck, I am quite senior here - I could get killed......

    She's, alright - but nothing too special; Petite blond. Now, if you were to ask about the MILF that works in the estate agency opposite my office.......

    Yummy Mummy's and MILFs, you're spoiled in Longwell Green. I won't mention the solicitor I've seen on the Common :wink:
    I've added a signature to prove it is still possible.
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    redvee wrote:
    gtvlusso wrote:
    f*ck, I am quite senior here - I could get killed......

    She's, alright - but nothing too special; Petite blond. Now, if you were to ask about the MILF that works in the estate agency opposite my office.......

    Yummy Mummy's and MILFs, you're spoiled in Longwell Green. I won't mention the solicitor I've seen on the Common :wink:

    LOL! You wouldn't recognise her now! Had her head shaved (I kid you not!). She is showing more 'tat' thank usual too.....

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