Silly commuting racing

chewa

biondino wrote:

Hmm. Can our Edinburgh correspondents let me know of the viability of cycling between Embra and Glasgow?

It is between 40 odd and 50 miles depending on the route. Easier Glasgow to Edinburgh as the prevailing wind is from west, and the Pedal for Scotland route can be done quick enough (2 and a bit hours) even by an old fart like me so that you get there before the organisers have set up!

If cycling Edinburgh to Glasgow best way is to follow the route of the A89 as much as you can as it's pretty well the most direct if not the most pretty.

I've been suffering from a dearth of victims recently as all I seem to pass are MTB's so it's a bit like shooting fish in a barrell.

Did have fun this morning overtaking a guy three times!. Passed him 1st coming out of Dalmeny and noticed he was catching me as I coasted down the descents, staying with me on flats (but never coming past to take a turn) and dropping well back on climbs.

Then I caught a guy I know and we cycled chatting for a few hundred metres and the passee overtook ON THE PAVEMENT as we were threading through parked cars near Davidsons Mains. When finished chatting as our paths separated I caught the guy again on a slight uphill. Same pattern as before.

Then third overtake happened as he took a shorter route to the west end. I saw him pass the junction in front of me and a few hundred metres later blasted past him again this time continuing the pressure and dropping him like a possessive girlfriend - if i was in his shoes i don't know how I'd take the humiliation and I'd be looking out my katana! Is there no honour left?

As to FCN it was kind of a Cinelli Bootleg type bike (flat barred roadie) so lighter than my tourer, no rack. Moral victory if nothing else.

DonDaddyD

What does FCN stand for?

How do I figure out my score?

I'm a roadie, non shaved legs, SPD-SL's, tracksuit or long shorts (with lycra underneath *crotch protection* you can't see I'm wearing lycra), ordinary T-shirt, cycle gloves (keep the hands smooth) and nike rucksack on my back.

Greg T

DonDaddyD wrote:

What does FCN stand for?

How do I figure out my score?

Don,

You want to think hard about getting into this...

http://www.citrusskies.co.uk/fcn

Will calculate your Food Chain Number for you and sentence you to eyeing up other men in tight clothing on bikes.

Don't come back here at the end of the week saying you are spent and can't walk. You'll get no sympathy here as my resting heart rate is now "cold" and I wake up shouting " HYBRID" in the middle of the night sweating......

It's not too late, get involved in the "should I wear a helmet" debate instead - it's duller but less likely to have you prolapse.

DonDaddyD

Ah I see my Food chain number is 6

Greg T

DonDaddyD wrote:

Ah I see my Food chain number is 6

Let's see you type that in the morning when you've been in work for an hour, are still sweating and can't stop looking over your shoulder......

thebongolian

I lost my virginity on the embankment tonight... and about 2 minutes off my normal commute

Think I can claim my first scalp - a cap on full-carbon racer.

More worryingly I found myself muttering to myself that all those on hybrids weren't "worthy opponents" in an Arnie as Conan the Barbarian voice.

Is this normal?

PS I'm reckoning my FCN is 5 for an early-80s Raleigh fix-me up fixie with mudguards and no modifiers for me.

captain_pink

Had a day off today... working in at a different office and not so easy for the commute. Felt so strange sitting on the bus, looking at potential targets.

Going to be chomping at the bit tomorrow. What's happening to me? Would have been happy cruising into work a week ago... now feel like I've got to put the hammer down every day!

victor ludorum

I didn't strictly commute today, instead I rode a set of first category climbs in a stage of the Tour de London...

Mrs Ludorum and I are in the process of moving Ludorum Towers to somewhere more commodious before the arrival of a smaller Ludorum at the end of the year. To that end, I had to courier some legal documents to our solicitor at Norwood Junction (God knows why we picked a solicitor there, we live in Chiswick FFS!)

So I set off for a ride which encompassed a long jaunt eastward (slightly too long, I took a wrong turn and had to come back the other way) then south, then further south, then Brixton, then Tulse HIll, Knight's Hill, then I thought it might be fun to take in Crystal Palace (it is this attitude that has seen me forbidden to organise family holidays...) then back for Norwood Junction, then Thornton Heath, Norbury, Streatham, Brixton, back to Vauxhall and along the Chelsea Embankment to Earl's Court and beyond.

45 miles of hills, heavy traffic, and hills. There was no-one to touch me on the way, I was Pantani (without the drugs), Riccardo Ricco (without the drugs), Rasmussen (without the...you get the picture).

On the way back, however, it is fair to say that I was flagging a little. On the way through Streatham, I found myself being Cadelled. I spotted a flash of orange and yellow out of the corner of my eye, and lo!, there was a wheelsucker. I got up to race-speed in an 'oh, I always commute at this speed, don't you?' sort of posture, a look of slight boredom upon my face disguising the clenched teeth beneath. the wheelsucker was still there. At this point I hit a pot hole and my bidon (never water bottle) fell out. As we pulled up at the lights I gave him a friendly smile and apologised. 'I was worried that it might have caused you a problem, since you were right up behind me.' We parted soon after.

Passing through Brixton, I paused at a set of lights while an SS ran through, despite a hoard of police cars coming the other way (although they seemed pretty distracted, what with the flashing blue lights and sirens and all). Even at this point, I'm damned if I'm not going to lay the smack down to an RLJing Langster-jockey and off I went.

It wasn't until I got the onto the Chelsea Embankment that my downfall came. I was pootling along, pootling I tell you... when one, two, three shaven like a laydee roadies whipped past me. just as I was reeling from that, I noticed that the rearmost shaven like a laydee, lycra-clad roadie was, in fact a lady. Despite this, they were all higher up the foodchain than me. This cheered me for a moment, until a two slicked hybrids, a tourer and (God forgive me) a front-sus got past as well. It was as if each rider whispered to me from the corner of his mouth as he passed.
'Here', 'Comes', 'The', 'Pain'...

This was the wake-up call I needed. I caught the last wheel and hung on like grim death, my ego stretched to breaking point, drawing upon superhuman effort (even greater when you have to do it without looking like you're trying) I managed to reel each one in and pass him, gathering patches of scalp and fragments of ego as I went. Then I scurried like a knackered mouse for home...

UnworthyPapaLazaru

Ive changed my route. My minature 3 miler just wasnt satisfying enough, and to be honest there werent enough scalps to be had.

My new 7 miler (including the 10% Arthur Seat) was done in 26 minutes, but not only did I not see another cyclist - well, one, but so far down the FCN it hardly worth mentioning - I hardly saw any cars too.

Im going to have to move to a bigger and more polluted city. This may be quite an upheaval for my family, but they will get used to it.

On another note, I watched Top Gear on BBC3 at the weekend. It was the one where there was a London commuter race. The Bike won, but thats not the point, the wee guy that nearly died in a rocket cycled along the famous 'Embankment'! I now know what it looks like. Great.

jonginge

UnworthyPapaLazaru wrote:

On another note, I watched Top Gear on BBC3 at the weekend. It was the one where there was a London commuter race. The Bike won, but thats not the point, the wee guy that nearly died in a rocket cycled along the famous 'Embankment'! I now know what it looks like. Great.

It was a bit more waterlogged today
Not much of 2 or 4 wheeled traffic, though. That said I got scalped for the first time in ages today up Millbank. I needed a "I'm not trying" sticker

Greg T

VL - What's a Tulse Hill?

I thought West of London Passports (and I speak as someone who lives in Richmond, Dahling) only allowed transit from the "West of Fulham Triangle" to the City with a narrow corridor running to the blasted heath of Canary Wharf. Outside of this space are Dragons, Drug Dealers and sporadic gun play.......

Now I'm all for trying new things, actually I still wear T shirts that are now 16 years old, my favourite food is prawn cocktail and I do not own any music that post dates Nov 1995.

I hate new things and cycling routes that I don't know like the back of my hand is an anathema (free form spelling rules apply) to me.

Fair does for mixing it with a mixed group of is it a him/her roadies.....

I've got a witch doctor appointment later as I think my mojo is broken....

The trip home last night was a gritted teeth affair into a moderate breeze (It was howling - howling I tell you) I have vague recollections of passing roadies and singlies but I was hanging out to such an extent that I just wanted the pain to stop.

I recognise that this is not the spirit and that I am being weak. Hence the Witch Doctor.

cjcp

victor ludorum wrote:

I didn't strictly commute today, instead I rode a set of first category climbs in a stage of the Tour de London...

Mrs Ludorum and I are in the process of moving Ludorum Towers to somewhere more commodious before the arrival of a smaller Ludorum at the end of the year. To that end, I had to courier some legal documents to our solicitor at Norwood Junction (God knows why we picked a solicitor there, we live in Chiswick FFS!)

So I set off for a ride which encompassed a long jaunt eastward (slightly too long, I took a wrong turn and had to come back the other way) then south, then further south, then Brixton, then Tulse HIll, Knight's Hill, then I thought it might be fun to take in Crystal Palace (it is this attitude that has seen me forbidden to organise family holidays...) then back for Norwood Junction, then Thornton Heath, Norbury, Streatham, Brixton, back to Vauxhall and along the Chelsea Embankment to Earl's Court and beyond.

45 miles of hills, heavy traffic, and hills. There was no-one to touch me on the way, I was Pantani (without the drugs), Riccardo Ricco (without the drugs), Rasmussen (without the...you get the picture).

On the way back, however, it is fair to say that I was flagging a little. On the way through Streatham, I found myself being Cadelled. I spotted a flash of orange and yellow out of the corner of my eye, and lo!, there was a wheelsucker. I got up to race-speed in an 'oh, I always commute at this speed, don't you?' sort of posture, a look of slight boredom upon my face disguising the clenched teeth beneath. the wheelsucker was still there. At this point I hit a pot hole and my bidon (never water bottle) fell out. As we pulled up at the lights I gave him a friendly smile and apologised. 'I was worried that it might have caused you a problem, since you were right up behind me.' We parted soon after.

Passing through Brixton, I paused at a set of lights while an SS ran through, despite a hoard of police cars coming the other way (although they seemed pretty distracted, what with the flashing blue lights and sirens and all). Even at this point, I'm damned if I'm not going to lay the smack down to an RLJing Langster-jockey and off I went.

It wasn't until I got the onto the Chelsea Embankment that my downfall came. I was pootling along, pootling I tell you... when one, two, three shaven like a laydee roadies whipped past me. just as I was reeling from that, I noticed that the rearmost shaven like a laydee, lycra-clad roadie was, in fact a lady. Despite this, they were all higher up the foodchain than me. This cheered me for a moment, until a two slicked hybrids, a tourer and (God forgive me) a front-sus got past as well. It was as if each rider whispered to me from the corner of his mouth as he passed.
'Here', 'Comes', 'The', 'Pain'...

This was the wake-up call I needed. I caught the last wheel and hung on like grim death, my ego stretched to breaking point, drawing upon superhuman effort (even greater when you have to do it without looking like you're trying) I managed to reel each one in and pass him, gathering patches of scalp and fragments of ego as I went. Then I scurried like a knackered mouse for home...

I'm always prone to a scalping in the rain and so it proved this morning.

I took it very easy (I could even feel the bike beneath me getting frustrated at my impersonation of Sunday riding), to the point where a hairy roadie in board shorts and a baggy t-shirt overtook me. I then let a hairy roadie on tri-bars ease by when pulling off from the lights at Vauxhall Bridge Road shortly after. But, such is my reluctance to speed up in the rain, I didn't even give chase.

But does this resistance to give chase mean that I beat The Game itself?

Greg T

cjcp wrote:

But does this resistance to give chase mean that I beat The Game itself?

I've asked the ghost of Kenneth Williams what he thinks about this.

He says you are kidding yourself and no-one else.

However - the stone Tablets that Thor gave me, whilst being sticky from Mead and blood, with a couple of axe marks in them, are very clear - getting killed is very bad news and should be avoided.

Getting from A to B in the rain is game enough.

When the sun shines, your brakes work and every manhole isn't frictionless - then spool up and reel them in......

Littigator

This morning was fun. I love the rain, all the numpty sunshine commuters disappear and you can get yer head down for a scalp fest as people hunch and huddle in their wind stoppers....mwah ha ha haaa haaa!

The better half seems to have gone completely barmy with new found speed, 26 mph past Millbank Tower and a large large slick MTB (bright orange :? ) (sniff, I'm sooo proud!)

Another day or so of this by all accounts...bring...it...on!

Tomorrow the S/S arrives and I drop an FCN...BEWARE!

Clever Pun

So... which pub is it and what time... will I need a lock?

Is Greg T buying everyone a beer?

Littigator

Clever Pun wrote:

So... which pub is it and what time... will I need a lock?

Is Greg T buying everyone a beer?

i think the suggestion was the Morpeth Arms, how does from 6pm sound. There are plenty of railing for locking bikes but if the weather's good (ha ha) we can hang around outside

Greg T, sounds like you're the chief beer buyer?!

I see from Facebook that Snooks has been barred from this by his work, has someone let him know the plan?

Littigator

Right I'm off to build my new bike which has literally just arrived in it's box! HUZZAH!

Greg T

Littigator wrote:

Greg T, sounds like you're the chief beer buyer?!

That's unlikely. I'm eight days away from payday and am shaking down the other kids at school for protection money and am selling knocked off mouse mats on ebay.

Anyone wanna buy a mouse mat?

dafruk

UnworthyPapaLazaru wrote:

My new 7 miler (including the 10% Arthur Seat) was done in 26 minutes, but not only did I not see another cyclist - well, one, but so far down the FCN it hardly worth mentioning - I hardly saw any cars too.

I've only cycled that route when doing the New Years Day Triathalon (did it on a mtb with slicks), didn't realise it was a 10%er. Not surprising it's been dead given the awful weather for the last while, danger of being caught in a flash flood coming the other way!

I'll need to divert up round there just to see if there are scalps to be had, that said I've an easy life riding a panniered tourer FCN 9 once you add in the baggies.

UnworthyPapaLazaru

dafruk wrote:

UnworthyPapaLazaru wrote:

My new 7 miler (including the 10% Arthur Seat) was done in 26 minutes, but not only did I not see another cyclist - well, one, but so far down the FCN it hardly worth mentioning - I hardly saw any cars too.

I've only cycled that route when doing the New Years Day Triathalon (did it on a mtb with slicks), didn't realise it was a 10%er. Not surprising it's been dead given the awful weather for the last while, danger of being caught in a flash flood coming the other way!

I'll need to divert up round there just to see if there are scalps to be had, that said I've an easy life riding a panniered tourer FCN 9 once you add in the baggies.

So I am reliably informed. Of course, I could be completely wrong! Im starting down at the docks at Leith so even getting to the bottom of Arthurs Seat is a climb enough for me.

If you do divert up there, there is at least one scalp to be had. Me...

Bassjunkieuk

victor ludorum wrote:

I didn't strictly commute today, instead I rode a set of first category climbs in a stage of the Tour de London...

Mrs Ludorum and I are in the process of moving Ludorum Towers to somewhere more commodious before the arrival of a smaller Ludorum at the end of the year. To that end, I had to courier some legal documents to our solicitor at Norwood Junction (God knows why we picked a solicitor there, we live in Chiswick FFS!)

So I set off for a ride which encompassed a long jaunt eastward (slightly too long, I took a wrong turn and had to come back the other way) then south, then further south, then Brixton, then Tulse HIll, Knight's Hill, then I thought it might be fun to take in Crystal Palace (it is this attitude that has seen me forbidden to organise family holidays...) then back for Norwood Junction, then Thornton Heath, Norbury, Streatham, Brixton, back to Vauxhall and along the Chelsea Embankment to Earl's Court and beyond.

45 miles of hills, heavy traffic, and hills. There was no-one to touch me on the way, I was Pantani (without the drugs), Riccardo Ricco (without the drugs), Rasmussen (without the...you get the picture).

On the way back, however, it is fair to say that I was flagging a little. On the way through Streatham, I found myself being Cadelled. I spotted a flash of orange and yellow out of the corner of my eye, and lo!, there was a wheelsucker. I got up to race-speed in an 'oh, I always commute at this speed, don't you?' sort of posture, a look of slight boredom upon my face disguising the clenched teeth beneath. the wheelsucker was still there. At this point I hit a pot hole and my bidon (never water bottle) fell out. As we pulled up at the lights I gave him a friendly smile and apologised. 'I was worried that it might have caused you a problem, since you were right up behind me.' We parted soon after.

Passing through Brixton, I paused at a set of lights while an SS ran through, despite a hoard of police cars coming the other way (although they seemed pretty distracted, what with the flashing blue lights and sirens and all). Even at this point, I'm damned if I'm not going to lay the smack down to an RLJing Langster-jockey and off I went.

It wasn't until I got the onto the Chelsea Embankment that my downfall came. I was pootling along, pootling I tell you... when one, two, three shaven like a laydee roadies whipped past me. just as I was reeling from that, I noticed that the rearmost shaven like a laydee, lycra-clad roadie was, in fact a lady. Despite this, they were all higher up the foodchain than me. This cheered me for a moment, until a two slicked hybrids, a tourer and (God forgive me) a front-sus got past as well. It was as if each rider whispered to me from the corner of his mouth as he passed.
'Here', 'Comes', 'The', 'Pain'...

This was the wake-up call I needed. I caught the last wheel and hung on like grim death, my ego stretched to breaking point, drawing upon superhuman effort (even greater when you have to do it without looking like you're trying) I managed to reel each one in and pass him, gathering patches of scalp and fragments of ego as I went. Then I scurried like a knackered mouse for home...

Glad to hear some proper game players are over in my neck of the woods, if only for a quick delivery to the solicitors! Crystal Palace does offer up some nice hills, especially if you chose to come at it from Camberwell and Dulwich! Even the ride from Streatham to Brixton isn't flat but the bus lanes make things a bit easier! Sounds like a good ride tho and Norwood Junction is only 5 minutes ride from my house, shame I wasn't cycle commuting this morning :-(

dafruk

UnworthyPapaLazaru wrote:

So I am reliably informed. Of course, I could be completely wrong! Im starting down at the docks at Leith so even getting to the bottom of Arthurs Seat is a climb enough for me.

If you do divert up there, there is at least one scalp to be had. Me...

Ah far side of town for me, I'm out at Gorgie but used to do the route in reverse when I worked down in the docks. It's a nice uphill grind particularly fun with the buses cutting you up now they've totally trashed the roads.

victor ludorum wrote:

I didn't strictly commute today, instead I rode a set of first category climbs in a stage of the Tour de London...

They have hills in London?

cjcp

dafruk wrote:

victor ludorum wrote:

I didn't strictly commute today, instead I rode a set of first category climbs in a stage of the Tour de London...

They have hills in London?

Cols more like!

Ascending Putney Bridge from either direction is brutal, while the rise in Richmond Park is practically a cliff face.

attica

cjcp wrote:

Cols more like!

Ascending Putney Bridge from either direction is brutal, while the rise in Richmond Park is practically a cliff face.

You ARE having a laugh aren't you?
How long is Putney Bridge? I mean really, pull yourself together man. If it's not a significant fraction of a mile I'd say it's a short ramp.

Greg T

Attica wrote:

significant fraction of a mile I'd say it's a short ramp.

It feels plenty steep to me as I'm sitting bolt upright on the hoods into the teeth of a gale trying to convince some roadie on a whiff of carbon that I can do this all day and it's not hurting.

Plenty steep enough.

Putney Bridge - graveyard of egos.

On a quiet night you can hear the ghostly tattered remnants of self respect wandering the bridge trying to find their owners.

attica

This is not a hill:-



Got any photographic evidence of this Alpine monster?

cjcp

Attica wrote:

This is not a hill:-



Got any photographic evidence of this Alpine monster?

Of course not! Col de Putney Bridge is a forbidding climb. It is not the sort of place you get off your bike willy nilly for a quick photo. You would lose all momentum, stop and be forced to ascend on foot - not easy in cleats.

Col de Putney Bridge also has about 15 switchbacks. These are not visible from the foot of the climb (where you turn left at the lights coming from Parson Green), but all becomes clear when you have to start weaving in and out of traffic. So it's a lot harder that the straight line bump in the land you put forth.

I also note that anyone ascending that bump is proctected from hurricane-force cross winds by the buildings. Those of us traversing Putney Bridge have no such luxury.


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Greg T

Attica wrote:

Got any photographic evidence of this Alpine monster?

I'm with CJCP - it's a man killer

Touchy - these Wurzels.

Aren't you meant to be "bringing the harvest home" or gassing badgers or something?

attica

Greg T wrote:

Knees up mother Brown knees up mother Brown, me old cockernee sparra, I was on the Cenderall line, you were on the baykerloooo rabbit rabbit yap yap rabbit, shut it or I'll cut your face blah bleedin blah

Shouldn't you be sewing shiny buttons onto your lycra?

Besides, it's gassing the harvest and bringing the badgers home these days.

Littigator

Attica wrote:

Besides, it's gassing the harvest and bringing the badgers home these days.

Ay must admit, Ay thought you cun'try people only practised the folk art of badger-gassing between Michaelmas and Whitsunday.

W'en I visit may cun'try esstate I instruct may staff to administer gassing only to their children out of season and even then preferably only on Saints days. The Festival of St Swithens has always been one of may favourites. It stirs the heart to watch the young of the locale staggering about green faced and choking...marvellous stuff. There's no knife crime in that village I can tell you!

Yrs Sir DailyMail