Silly commuting racing

andrewgturnbull

Greg T wrote:

Of course from your photo I see you live in the dark side of the moon so perhaps your oppo is going to be thin on the ground........

Hi there.

From left to right we have, Ben Lomond, Stirling Castle, Stuc A'Chroin, Ben Vorlich and the Wallace Monument.

My commute did start a few miles away in Glasgow city centre, so I do see some other bikes...

Cheers, Andy

cjcp

andrewgturnbull wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

12 years eh. 'bout time ye moved to London, I'd say ... :twisted:

Indeed. It's one thing being top scorer in the B&Q Division 1 Northern League Section 2 playing against a pub XI, it's another thing altogether scoring those goals in the Premiership. :twisted:

Hi there.

Yeah... I'll give up this sort of stuff, and move to London instead...



What colour lenses are best for squinting through that smog again?

;-)

Cheers, Andy

What smog?

EDIT: Balls. The pictures didn't copy/paste.

Bassjunkieuk

God I need to get on here more often, just had 5 pages to read through!

The new FCN looks good, think I'm gonna be gaining at least 1 point when i can be ar5ed to work mine out again!

Found out earlier this week I'm being put on the site furthest away from my home for about 6 weeks! Not good when the route to aforementioned site, in Thames Ditton, is practically oppo free! Having said that I did spot a tasty looking one earlier but despite my best efforts and his 50-75 yard head start I just couldn't catch him. I was doing about between 20 and 25 whilst trying to avoid the tw4ts on MTB's and other cars and he was still going strong! Just when the road cleared enough and I thought I might be able to catch him I lost sight of him! I think he turned up a side road. Shame as I was having such fun!

cjcp

Interesting journey home. Chap on tri bars drafting me. Not had that for a while. Tri bars makes me nervous - pointy things aiming at your backside. Dropped after Vauxhall Bridge. And then an RLJ'ing faux SS having a good old draft, overtaking on the rise to Chelsea Bridge lights (my excuse being that I had a very heavy rucksack tonight), legs spinning like a cartoon character, blowing shortly after the slope on the other side before succumbing to the inevitable.

Clever Pun

out of Canary Wharf roundabout heading for the tunnel, a roadie comes down from the top one where as I prefer the underneath... true story.. he's ahead of me and I follow a respectable non drafting distance away thinking my legs hurt from the gym just let him pace me... after a mile or so we're still going about 23 and he's spinning well within himself (that of he's a real player of the game and busting a nut without letting on) we come up upon another roadie and the guy ahead of me sits in behind him and drafts him, that's all the incentive I need, drop a cog and it's hammer time I cruise past them both in one easy swoop, I then continue at that pace nervous of being done back but no... I'm scott free with two lovely scalps...awesome

oh yes and this morning in the greenwich tunnel I was speaking to a proper fast fixie guy about ratios and the like and trying to get info about my project while all the time in my mind is SCALP HIM SCALP HIM... so I let him head of first while pretending to dick around with the bike I then caught up only for him to turn off down the girlie way to CW... feck

victor ludorum

I had a good ride home the other day, with a dramatic hint of a challenge yet to come...

Overtook two old-schoolers, one on a Bianchi Pista (ss freewheel, but goldtech hubs, so he knew his kit) and a recovered Gios Torino. Both nice looking, both ridden well. Both disappeared into the distance behind me.

Had a minor run in with some tw4t on a Trek 'My First Road Bike', who attempted to cut between me and a transit van, while the transit was changing lanes. I was slowing for the lights, (just) in front of the van and it was pulling in behind me when f*cknut tries to zip through the rapidly disappearing space. Realising that there was van he was planning to be he did a quick calculation and decided that hitting me would hurt less. Swerving wildly, he damn near cleaned me up before undertaking a left turning car in front and running a pedestrian crossing. He must have turned off after that, because I couldn't see him when I set off from the lights. shame...

When I got down to Shepherds Bush I stopped to answer my phone, and there he was, the great white whale to my Ahab. A rider in full Milram Team kit on what looked like a high-end Ridley, wraparounds, the works... and there I was sat at the roadside like a plum on a mobile

But I can't let a prize like that escape me forever. One day, we will meet on the road. One day, his scalp will be added to my collection...

Simon the Pieman

Got "dropped" on my Hybrid by a lady wearing 2 inch wedge heels and a business suit on a MTB. She jumped some lights so I could not salvage any honour.

However, this morning some chap decided he would waltz up in front of me at the lights. I overtook him on London Bridge one handed.

Are there extra points for doing it one handed?

Greg T

victor ludorum wrote:

When I got down to Shepherds Bush I stopped to answer my phone, and there he was, the great white whale to my Ahab. A rider in full Milram Team kit on what looked like a high-end Ridley, wraparounds, the works... and there I was sat at the roadside like a plum on a mobile
...

I was lining up a Roadie (shaved - like a lady) this morning - he was either in "active recovery" (is that roadie for riding when you get dropped?), on dialysis or I'd grown and extra lung overnight as I was gaining on him like Kerry Catona (how do you spell that -actually I don't care) at an all you can snort coke buffet.

Matching kit top and bottom - slow poseur..... Ripe for plucking

When - disaster strikes - he shoots the RLs.

His credibility evaporates into a cloud of broken dreams and hopes - he isn't worth catching anymore as he's a cock.

I hate that.

Still on the plus side I've kept my nose clean this week (though a fellow hairy roadie did me straight on the Tate Gallery stretch this morning - shucks) though I did only do three days so can't book the Schmicheal Prize......

victor ludorum

Simon the Pieman wrote:

However, this morning some chap decided he would waltz up in front of me at the lights. I overtook him on London Bridge one handed.

Are there extra points for doing it one handed?

Nicely done, but no extra points I'm afraid. Ideally a racer should, at no point, appear to be racing. Overtaking one handed, no handed, whilst free-wheeling up-hill, are all encouraged (within the bounds of safety). Spinning like a hamster on crystal meth, unless justified by general riding style and FCN is frowned upon. As is wheezing like a broken pipe organ and getting off to vomit at the lights after an overtake.

Competitors are encouraged to learn the art of flat shouldered, sweatless, skin-breathing, in order to maintain the illusion of effortless athleticism which the game demands.

2wheelzgood

Oh really.. so groups 2-4 can claim a point for scalping a fellow on the FC, but when Mr T gets done by another hairy, it's not a point against him?

pfft double standard my friend

Pieman (great name for a quick cyclist), defo ego points for you for displaying an (apparent) ease on the overtake! I like to spin up, coast past and glance over for more than a moment (if the road is clear of danger obviously, remember rule number 1- ride safely).

However, being scalped by a woman on heels on a hybrid (unless intentional and you were admiring the view after) and the MTB do count against you.
I hope your FCN is about 20 and you're on a tricyle!

Greg T

victor ludorum wrote:

Competitors are encouraged to learn the art of flat shouldered, sweatless, skin-breathing, in order to maintain the illusion of effortless athleticism which the game demands.

This is where sport and art combine...

I'm currently working on my "disinterested" 1,000 yard stare. Stopped at the lights, still clipped in, hand on the railings, sitting nice and tall, breathing through my pores acting as if 25 mph is no stretch and I'm a bit bored..........

Being mid cassette is also cool as you start slow but no-one wants to get in front of you as as soon as you spool up you are lightning.....

PikeyTykey wrote:

Oh really.. so groups 2-4 can claim a point for scalping a fellow on the FC, but when Mr T gets done by another hairy, it's not a point against him?

I consider intra FCN scalping to be down to subtle indicators....

I do rakes of entry level roadies every day - if we were American Indians I would say " Wampum pale face Roadies were rubbed out today - more than trees in the forest".]

I claim no Kudos for these bargain meals.

If a dude on a halfords road bike, baggies and a messenger bag done me I'd take the hit and withdraw from public life and wear a bag on my head.

However if a dude with more carbon than the coal board does me at 26, whilst disappointed, I'd not use the big strap.......

Funny old game.

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

His credibility evaporates into a cloud of broken dreams and hopes - he isn't worth catching anymore as he's a cock.

I agree about the change in status, but I still like to do it. I don't often deign to say anything to them, but as I catch and pass them I direct mind waves at them to the effect of 'Wow, you jumped all those red lights that I stopped at, but I'm still getting where I'm going faster than you. What up with that?'

victor ludorum

Incidentally, something I've had recently is people asking/telling me to get out of the way (sometimes yelling it as they fly past) so that they can run the red light I'm stopped at. This vexes me, and my response is usually something pithy.

Its one thing to decide you're going to run a red if you're in front, its another thing to expect other road users to get out of your way to make it easier for you. This has happened to me three times in the past week. Is it a new phenomenon, or just new to me?

Greg T

victor ludorum wrote:

but as I catch and pass them I direct mind waves at them to the effect of 'Wow, you jumped all those red lights that I stopped at, but I'm still getting where I'm going faster than you. What up with that?'

Yes - this is hugely satisfying and a game within a game. My "best" is four serial scalpings of the same guy..... I would have literally have died of shame, curled up in the gutter and cried myself to death.....

However - having someone lined up that RLJs just takes the shine of it as they aren't "proper"

No-ones ever shouted at me to make a path at the lights - just as well really as I'm becoming Jihadist in this space.

cjcp

Greg T wrote:

victor ludorum wrote:

but as I catch and pass them I direct mind waves at them to the effect of 'Wow, you jumped all those red lights that I stopped at, but I'm still getting where I'm going faster than you. What up with that?'

Yes - this is hugely satisfying and a game within a game. My "best" is four serial scalpings of the same guy..... I would have literally have died of shame, curled up in the gutter and cried myself to death.....

However - having someone lined up that RLJs just takes the shine of it as they aren't "proper"

No-ones ever shouted at me to make a path at the lights - just as well really as I'm becoming Jihadist in this space.

If they're RLJ'ing and still can't stay ahead, causing bike congestion, they should immediately dismount, walk to the nearest train station, get on the first train to Imfcukingslowsville and don't come back. :evil:

IMHO.

<and breathe>

Victor - a pithy remark is a good effort. The red mist would descend with me and would lead to a volley of verbal abuse even Eric Cartman would be proud of.

victor ludorum

It is usually 'pith off!'

(see what I did there? )

snooks

Do constantly repeating points count?

Real em in, pass em, stop at lights, they scoot past, lights go green, real em in, pass em, stop at lights, they scoot past, lights go green, real em in, pass em, stop at lights, they scoot past, lights go green, real em in, pass em, stop at lights, they scoot past, lights go green, real em in, pass em, stop at lights, they scoot past, lights go green, real em in, pass em, stop at lights, they scoot past, lights go green, real em in, pass em, stop at lights, they scoot past, lights go green.

I'm sure you get the idea

It sucks when I've shattered knees catching someone up, who, moments before was a day glow dot in the distance, only to get close to a light as it changes to red, I ease off, they keep going....Don't they know the rules of The Game??? :twisted:

Clever Pun

victor ludorum wrote:

I agree about the change in status, but I still like to do it. I don't often deign to say anything to them, but as I catch and pass them I direct mind waves at them to the effect of 'Wow, you jumped all those red lights that I stopped at, but I'm still getting where I'm going faster than you. What up with that?'

well you're a faster/better cyclist...

While I understand what you're saying they are getting where they want to quick than if they were obeying the law...

I've had 4 Krispy kreme doughnuts this afternoon... I'll hurtle off at 100mph for about 5-6 miles then I'll be on such a downer the pashleys will be pissing past me

SamWise72

I used to severely harry the embankment peloton in my suit and dress shoes on the bike below. Can someone elucidate what my ranking would have been? It used to brass the lycra and carbon brigade right off when I'd bomb past them and drop them, and even the few who can actually ride found me frustratingly hard to drop. Sadly the bike was stolen on Christmas night, and though my two Downtubes should be faster, perhaps my bravado isn't as great on such new bikes, since I seem slower. Nevermind, a Raleigh 20 hotrod is cooking in my garage, and when that's done, I'll be back!

snooks

SamWise72 wrote:

Use Fury21's official FCN Calculator http://www.citrusskies.co.uk/fcn

And let us know where you stand...:twisted:

SamWise72

Wow FCN of 19! No wonder people looked chagrined.......

Emilia

snooks wrote:

This is what the SS adjustment has casued :?

FOOD CHAIN NUMBERS:
1. Scooters
2. Roadies with shaved legs - like girls *
3. Proper rapid Single speed (real men, messengers, tarty shiny fixies) *
4. Roadies with hairy legs - like men *
5. Faux Single Speeds (fakengers, dirty/functional bikes, silly egg beater gear) *
6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards) *
7. "Fast Hybrids" *
8. MTBs on Skinnies *
9. MTBs on Nobbies
10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on Nobbies
12. Shoppers
13. Shoppers wicker baskets
14. Electric bikes
* Pedal Adjustment +1
• ONLY FCN 2-4 gain points for overtaking the same FCN and Higher Chainers


So maybe it should now be just be 2&3, so the Real SS can do real SS and ladee roadies. And ladee like roadies can do each other. Maybe they do already, I dunno what goes through the mind of men who shave their legs

Hehehe

What about the fixies? (And the girls?)

cjcp

Emilia wrote:

snooks wrote:

This is what the SS adjustment has casued :?

FOOD CHAIN NUMBERS:
1. Scooters
2. Roadies with shaved legs - like girls *
3. Proper rapid Single speed (real men, messengers, tarty shiny fixies) *
4. Roadies with hairy legs - like men *
5. Faux Single Speeds (fakengers, dirty/functional bikes, silly egg beater gear) *
6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards) *
7. "Fast Hybrids" *
8. MTBs on Skinnies *
9. MTBs on Nobbies
10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on Nobbies
12. Shoppers
13. Shoppers wicker baskets
14. Electric bikes
* Pedal Adjustment +1
• ONLY FCN 2-4 gain points for overtaking the same FCN and Higher Chainers


So maybe it should now be just be 2&3, so the Real SS can do real SS and ladee roadies. And ladee like roadies can do each other. Maybe they do already, I dunno what goes through the mind of men who shave their legs

Hehehe

What about the fixies? (And the girls?)

No 3? I don't think being female makes any difference. It should be the steed you're on that counts. If you're on a fixie, you'll be hunted down 8)

black flash

Excuse me for butting in, I'm late to the party.
I neither commute by bike, nor live in London.

However, on my morning blast, I came across two cops on bikes (one a stock Specialized, and one in blue police livery).

Do they merit a place on the food chain I wonder (do you even have them in London?).

Just my two pence worth.......

xio

OK, I realise I'm coming to this thread kinda late and lazy at not having read ALL of the previous 40 million pages, but come on guys, what the f*ck are scooters doing at no.1 in this list??

Depending on steed, I'd be either a 3/4/5, having a dirty single speed, but, whilst being quicker than nearly 100% of all fakengers, I have been beaten by a couple of blinging single speeds or fixies. Also have a hairy legged roadie bike.

My point (now I'm finally getting to it) is that I get held up by scooters so often (like every single commute) that I couldn't possibly consider them to be HIGHER up the food chain. That's just plain daft, I wouldn't put them any higher than the faux single speeds. How do I appeal?

Greg T

xio wrote:

I get held up by scooters so often (like every single commute) that I couldn't possibly consider them to be HIGHER up the food chain. That's just plain daft, I wouldn't put them any higher than the faux single speeds. How do I appeal?

This is how I see it, slow scooters on the flat are good for about 28 + MPH...... and they are few and far between. It is a scalp in anyone's book if you can drop a scooter shifting at that speed.

Twos up are slower and this is where I aim my efforts. Away from the lights don't count, braking for the lights don't count. Unimpeded mano a mano action only.......

Now then.......

Coming along the Chelsea embankment this morning it was carnage....

The sun had brought the occasional commuters out and they don't play the Embankment Peloton rules. Most annoyingly there's an unwritten rule that when coming up to stationary traffic you get out of the way of the dude in front and let them pick their line, inside of outside.

Three times this morning I had someone tucked in my inside trying to undertake running into a stack of cars. Once I had someone on my outside. Guys will you all please read the unwritten rules and not barge the leader.....

One a more pleasant note wasn't it glorious this morning, bit chiily when I started off but perfect by mid way. Lovely.

Also I had a chat with this Roadie (shaved like a 12 stone, not an ounce of fat racing snake lady) this morning about the dodgems. He was spinning proper fast and I did the decent thing and drafted him for a while before moving out, taking my heart in my hand, pushed on through...... I was lucky with the lights so got a firm wiggle on right through to Millbank - by the big lights at Lambeth Bridge I had a sneaky "breaking for the lights have a pop behind" moment and there was no sign of him.

Now - there is no way I could have dropped him in a million years as he just ooozed awesome - but - in the absence of actually seeing him get hit by a bus / turning off immediately after I got by him (with a wry "you were lucky" grin) - do i book the win? He'll not a jot of it of course - but what about me?

Clever Pun

it was great today there was hardly any traffic... yey school holidays

there was this incredibly pushy tw@t in the tunnel today he cycled off through it and while I walked through I caught up with him at the lifts the other side. he then pushed past everyone again to cycle off.. I caught him up quickly and he then went through a red light by cycling over the pavement... he did this again later

I thought to myself I'd say "You epitomise everything that people hate about cyclists" when I went past him that came out as "Stop cycling like a tw@t" oh well, meant the same thing

victor ludorum

Clever Pun wrote:

While I understand what you're saying they are getting where they want to quick than if they were obeying the law...

Wait, are you coming out as a J-er of RLs? (Guards! Seize him! )

That might be the case, but if everybody decided, 'sod it, not obeying the law will get me there much quicker' (as opposed to just bus drivers and minicabs, as it is at the moment) then the only way that most cyclists would get home is in an urn.

Most drivers don't need an excuse to hate cyclists (e.g the other day, I was doing a steady 27 down the bus lane on Euston Road, standing/slowmoving traffic in the lanes to my right, as I slow down, there's a black cab right up my trumpet beeping his horn, despite the fact that he's going to need to top 30 to get past and there's a stopped bus in the way...) and RLJing gives them a great one, especially those who tack across junctions one way and then the next according to the flow of cross traffic (doing it for safety my a*se). So, when one of these selfish, dangerous (and above all, slow) sorts does it, all it leaves is a batch of cycle-haters in heavyweight steel boxes glaring at my back and dead set on not giving that fcuknig cyclist an inch of space or time, despite the fact that he was sat innocently at the lights along with them.

Furthermore, repeatedly overtaking them mucks up my scoring.

I don't want to drag this thread into another unrepentant RLJers vs. holier-than-thou non- RLJer, Helmets save lives vs helmets cause injuries, torment kittens and narrowly escaped the noose at Nuremburg troll-fest, so rant over...

Clever Pun

victor ludorum wrote:

Clever Pun wrote:

While I understand what you're saying they are getting where they want to quick than if they were obeying the law...

Wait, are you coming out as a J-er of RLs? (Guards! Seize him! )

Come on then :x I

I'm thinking from the cretins point of view, re overtaking the same numpty is aggrevating... but as you say, this ain't the thread.

The lack of cars on the road this morning was awesome

Sea_Green_Incorruptible

What FCN should I give to an attractive young lady in just-too-small lycra hotpants?

NB. I could actually HEAR her swooning at my obvious manliness as I left her for dead on a stiff climb into a nasty headwind this morning....