Silly commuting racing

cjcp

My view: all Singlies move down the FC below Roadies.

Should we have an adjustment for those sporting an Ergomo or SRM?

greg66_tri_v2.0

Greg T wrote:

...
God told me this.

We should drop the Fixed wheel / free wheel demarcation between Singlies as you just can't tell when you are playing - not easily enough.

Instead we should have "Fast Singlie" and "Faux Singlie" - the judgement between them should be up to the individual gamer....

"Faux Singles" should be demoted to below Hairy Roadies in the food chain and mocked a bit....

"Fast Singlies" should stay where they are between the two flavours of Roadie.....

Now whilst this is the word of God I think we can have some debate on this......
I

Yes, I remember. Page 26, seventh post, IRCC. 8)

So, you're back from your so-called business trip, eh? The one to Dr Ferrari? Blood running a little thicker this morning, eh?

Just remember, the Anti-Dopage Controle is alive and well on the Embankment.


I agree with the suggestion of retaining a band of fast singlies between the roadies. Brings to mind the old guy I came across once on the Embankment. I saw pulling from the lights, and thought I'd reel him in. I accelerate - but so does he, even though his legs are stirring setting cement. We settle down at a brisk pace, him 5 lengths ahead, and pulling away, still stirring setting cement. WTF I think. So I step it up to close the gap. He's running what looks like a 12 or 13 on the back, and what looks like a 56 on the front. No wonder he was hard to put down.

That's not to say that I didn't, of course. Just had to wait for an opportunity to slow and then accelerate. Quite hard work accelerating in 56/13.

greg66_tri_v2.0

cjcp wrote:

My view: all Singlies move down the FC below Roadies.

Should we have an adjustment for those sporting an Ergomo or SRM?

But there is a power meter adjustment. Or do you want to change the adjustment, and if so which way?

Is there some self interest at work here?

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

My view: all Singlies move down the FC below Roadies.

Should we have an adjustment for those sporting an Ergomo or SRM?

But there is a power meter adjustment. Or do you want to change the adjustment, and if so which way?

Is there some self interest at work here?

Yep, you're quite right. I just couldn't be a*sed at the time of posting to check the rules. I was going to suggest that it be a "minus" adjustment, but it already is.

Remind me though: why are Singlies on a fixed higher up the FC than a hairy-legged roadie? I don't mind picking up points all day long ( 8) ), but just wondering.

greg66_tri_v2.0

cjcp wrote:

Remind me though: why are Singlies on a fixed higher up the FC than a hairy-legged roadie? I don't mind picking up points all day long ( 8) ), but just wondering.

I don't think they should be. But there are some properly fast singlies out there, and that's a proper scalp to be had. I agree with Greg T that the majority should be below hairy roadies, but there is a small subset of singlies who have evolved fast enough legs to warrant being between smooth & hairies. Judgment is for the hairy roadie to make when they take them

Greg T

My view is this....

Fast Singlies are proper fast and as even Greg66 our resident racing snake will attest can be swift....

I rarely get done by hairy roadies or singlies but seem to notice more when a singlie does me - equally I don't care how many roadies I drop but have always booked a win for a fast singlie....

Faux Singlies look the same but get bigger quicker and have a lot less awesome.

Fixed wheel is hard and cool so high up the chain - however they are also hard to spot so for the purposes of gaming should be discounted - if you do clock one then you gain bragging rights....

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Remind me though: why are Singlies on a fixed higher up the FC than a hairy-legged roadie? I don't mind picking up points all day long ( 8) ), but just wondering.

I don't think they should be. But there are some properly fast singlies out there, and that's a proper scalp to be had. I agree with Greg T that the majority should be below hairy roadies, but there is a small subset of singlies who have evolved fast enough legs to warrant being between smooth & hairies. Judgment is for the hairy roadie to make when they take them

Indeed; it's always when, never if.

I could just shave my legs.

greg66_tri_v2.0

cjcp wrote:

I could just shave my legs.

<puts hand over mouth to make breathing noisy>

I feel the Force growing in this one.

Clever Pun

I met two other interesting roadies last night and this morning

walking through the grenwich tunnel I like taking my time an keeping an eye out for scalps, there's generally something there to pay attention to. I carry my bike up and what should I see a hairless in the tunnel..hmm he's drinking a gel and has assos overshoes... my life what a catch... potential catch. I pootel around with the bunch to get on to greenwich high street and bam he's gone... all kit no legs... shame

today I come out of the tunnel going south having spotted another target like a gentleman I let him go first out of the lift, it's almost like another level, he knows I'm in the hunt and I can smell his fear, we're on the main road and again he offers no real resistence (I'm glad the beard helps me take other hairy roadies ) so I've passed him and I see something in the distance spinning like hell... woo pointage, so put the hammer down and gain it looks like a hairless but what's this a pollution mask???? FFS still I'll try and take him and I do... I keep ahead for a bit but he's drafting me and then he takes me back.. damn it... I keep up and do him on a slight incline most pleasing and soon after that we're in traffic and we're both still racing each other... safely of course

I go through the roundabout and on to the A13 into the city he's still with me and nips past me in traffic HA that doesn't count biatch... I'm going to scalp you again... and I do, but this time I notice he's got a fine layer of hair on his legs crud that means we're even on points... sod it, it's still fun... this time I pass him and keep upping the pace starting to tire now and he's still there.. git. I've got to turn off now so give him a wave and I'm gone.

victor ludorum

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

I could just shave my legs.

<puts hand over mouth to make breathing noisy>

I feel the Force growing in this one.

Ha ha, guffaw giggle...

Seriously though (okay, not very seriously) how many hairy roadies would be shaven roadies if it weren't for peer pressure not to be?

I have quite hairy legs which I am ordinarily quite proud of. But when I started cycling 'properly' I considered shaving them and still do from time to time. I ride and train a lot, but I have to do it whenever I can fit it in. I don't really have a schedule that i could fit club riding into, so I'm not surrounded by glabrous peers and hence the pressure to be the same. If I were going to ride an etape or something, I might do it, but it would take alot of work to convince my missus.

There we are. I've confessed. I am a shaven 'like a laydee' roadie in a hairy body!

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

"Faux Singles" should be demoted to below Hairy Roadies in the food chain and mocked a bit....

"Fast Singlies" should stay where they are between the two flavours of Roadie.....
I

This is probably fair. Unless, as Greg 66 points out, they are riding a 56/12 or such like, a fixie is not likely to top you out speedwise when you're all hands to the pumps, but all out speed isn't the sole point of the game.

As Greg T has it, riding a true fixed is tough so they get ranked higher than their on-paper top speed might suggest. Riding a fixed at speed demands a greater awareness of the road, more skill and more power than the averaged geared. The best are zen-like masters of the traffic. The bad ones end up dead. Hence, a higher FCN for the survivors.

chewa

This is not pertinent to the game (as it happened before), but I thought you guys might appreciate the tale.

Summer last year I was commuting home along Queensferry Road in Edinburgh, keeping a decent pace but well within comfort zone.

As I left the lights at Blackhall, a female roadie came past me.

She was (a) blonde and very attractive - even from behind

(b) on a very nice road bike - I think it may have been a Cervelo - certainly forks and rear end were carbon.

Male pride at stake I put the hammer down and on the nice smooth flat bit to Quality Street picked up a good deal of speed. But she was leaving me behind! As we approached the climb up over to Drumbrae I allowed myself a sneaky smile. Past experience had told me roadies always slow down on hills. I get sick of overtaking them on hilly parts of Audaxes.

As we approached, the lights were red but then changed so I'd closed the gap a bit (due to her braking) . As we reached the lower slopes (!) she just tapped out a rythm (in the saddle) and was just edging away with every turn of the crank. This was humiliating!

We breached the top of the Col de Queensferry and the lights were at red again. She slowed and I closed the gap. The lights changed as we approached and she took off!

But this time I had gravity on my side! She was only a wee slip of a thing, built to make Rasmussen look like a bloater, whereas I at 6' some 8 inches taller than her and probably 20 (30!) kilos heavier, with a pannier loaded with my heavy M & S boxers and some shirts, phone, pda, ipod, tools etc had considerably more mass.

As we accelerated down the hill I passed her and, terrified to glance round just kept pedalling, burying myself. I kept clear and then as I passed the Shell garage near Barnton I saw the lights change to red so eased off and coasted.

From behind me I heard a joyful cry " I'd have taken you on the flat!"

As we pulled up at the lights, she wasn't even perspiring whereas I thought my heart was going to do an "Alien " impression and burst out of my chest leaving me slumped, John Hurt - like on the handlebars. Lovely girl she was indeed and we had a wee chat waiting on the lights changing, me sounding very strained as I could barely breathe.

"Nice night for a spin " she said, "can't go too hard, have the nationals at the weekend"

And with that she clicked in and p*ssed off into the distance

jedster

Just thought it fair to alert all protagonists that the purple abominator has had a tune up.

This rigid steel MTB SS conversion lives at Paddington so maintenance is a bit of a faff. I have to admit a certain grubby satisfaction in sorting out bikes. THink it's to do with spending too much of my life driving a computer. There's some kind of testosterone boost from actually doing some practical with a spanner (I'll set them up....).

Problem is I'm not that competent.

So the jobs that needed doing -
a) replace the gaffer-taped, rattling mudguards with nice new sks ones
b) replace the chain
c) put some air in the tyres
d) replace the saddle -original on the '92 bike, cobver now ripped and the foam is excellent for soaking up an implausible quantity of rainwater

How hard can that be I hear you ask...

Well I did a decent job on the guards getting filthy in the process. Nice work. I like to think I was getting admiring glances for my practical machismo from the summery-atired young ladies walking past me as I worked (the sights of Mayfair are not half bad this time of year). I've a nasty suspicion it was pity though.

Next the chain. Those familiar with SS conversions on bikes with vertical (ish) drop-outs will know that there are two broad options. Either use a nasty tensioning device or finesse the issue with a carefully chosen combination of chain ring, sprocket and the magical half-link chain (this semi-mythical device does actually exist). The halflink chain in question is pretty heavy duty and comes with one of those linking pins in which the excess screws out. Well I got the chain to length and had positioned the pin but the chain did not sit very neatly in the chain tool and yes I ballsed it up. The excess pin snapped off before I'd pressed the pin home.

Cue rictus grin, curses through the teeth and sweat on furrowed brow. The pretty young ladies are definitely edging further out on the pavement now.

"Your chain broke mate" in the slurred lilt of a man of the fair emerald isle who's spent the entire afternoon getting upclose and personal with a stack of strong supermarket lager. One residual can locked in his fist.

For fooks sake! Can life get any more irritating.

I won't bore you with the details but short of abandoning my steed (never!) I had to get that chain fixed. My pet drunk watched and offered words of encouragement as I struggled. I dread to think what impression we were making on the passing lovelies.

It all seemed doomed when my partner in crime says, I kid you not, "you'll say ah dont believe ya paddy but you just want to clamp that adjustable spanner over the top of the chain there and she'll go right in". Me thinks "you annoying halfwit" when, hang on, he's got a point, it might just work. And it does! I stop short of giving him a hug.

Saddle goes on without any drama. Get the rear tyre up to a good 70 psi with the mini pump one of those ones that just locks to the valve. Just getting the front tyre there when the upturned bike tips over. There's a crunch and the pump comes away from the wheel. Uh oh. Sure enough, the valve body has sheared of in the pump.

AAaghhhaahhahhaha!!!!!

Fortunately I do have a spare inner tube and 5 minutes later the bikes up and running but I am now black with road dirt, dripping with sweat and stinking (polyester and my sweat from the ride in that morning doing their thing).

My Irish friend is now revelling in the fact he's only the second most repulsive man in walking distance. Sadly, I don't fancy his chances much.

Still, the bike is now faster and no less stealthy. I smell hairy roady blood...


J

2wheelzgood

Never understood for why..:shock: Does it make you go faster or do you just enjoy looking less manly ? :?:

GregT welcome home! I hear your voice of reason, bump us singlies down so we can reap the rewards and rip hairy roadie scalps from their heads!

I was out with some local fixies and another singlie last night.. you have got to admire the skill and appreciate how much more difficult it is to go fast, especially downhill brakeless.

Mind you that could be offset with the raffa hat, pink wheels and frame and grips or the £50 per hub +white hubs and velocity rims.. or whatever else.

I was happy being the only one with a lid when I realise we were all going to be J'ing every RL. I feel dirty but it was fun and evening. not silly just not stopping.

A quick guy on a fixie is well fast and knows it. He chooses NOT to have gears or even a freehub so should remain up there. Others use fixies and moreso ss cos it's easier to maintain and trendy or like em, annoyed at anther unindexed gear or broken mech.

A fair few are home builds or conversions, these are not posers and not so fast.. Hence unless sporting a 56 11, no chance of keeping up with a roadie. And then if it goes uphill, that gear won't be fun unless hangin onto a bus.


The game is becoming more and more a self assessment and claiming scalps an exercise in honesty with yourself. So make sure you place my shoddy hybrid with a single gear as low as possible and don't rip my scalp off!

Greg T

chewa wrote:

This is not pertinent to the game (as it happened before), but I thought you guys might appreciate the tale.

She was (a) blonde and very attractive - even from behind

What madness is this, in my "view" (get it) the "best" view is from behind as they have ace legs and bums that you can look at - they smell nice as they are girls and as you are behind them you can smell soap and washing powder.

The danger is that as you draw level you have a quick glance (over your left shoulder just to make sure you can tuck in...) they have a face like a bucket of smashed crabs..

Me I have a fat arse, hairy legs, smell rank AND have a face like a bucket of etc etc etc..

Ignorance is Bliss..

"Nice night for a spin " she said, "can't go too hard, have the nationals at the weekend"

And with that she clicked in and p*ssed off into the distance

That's funny.

Greg T

2wheelzgood wrote:

GregT welcome home! I hear your voice of reason, bump us singlies down so we can reap the rewards and rip hairy roadie scalps from their heads!

Well that of course depends if you consider yourself a "fast" or "faux" singlie.....

If you are "fast" then only Lilly Savage in Rock Racing kit will do for you mon brave...

If "Faux" you can feed in the rich waters of entry level roadieing.......

Unlucky

GT

jedster

What madness is this, in my "view"

Ed. surely this is not your "view" but a fundamental objective truth. I see no room for debate on this point.

Greg T

jedster wrote:

Ed. surely this is not your "view" but a fundamental objective truth. I see no room for debate on this point.

Yes.

I should adopt a more puritanical and fundamentalist approach to this.

Girl Roadies Look Best From Behind FACT.



Apart from Vick Pendleton (who may not be a "roadie" per se) who looks best in Black and white with her demure secretary glasses on, in half profile.

Gnurk

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

Apart from Vick Pendleton (who may not be a "roadie" per se) who looks best in Black and white with her demure secretary glasses on, in half profile.

Gnurk

Calm down, or you'll have to wear baggies to cycle home in...

pst88

Just my luck, this morning I was walking/hauling my bike to the LBS to collect my front wheel and 2 roadies (lycra/team kit, wrap around sunglasses) cruised by me at a mediocre pace. If i'd've had 2 wheels on my bike at the time I totally would've done 'em. Missed opportunity

cjcp

victor ludorum wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

I could just shave my legs.

<puts hand over mouth to make breathing noisy>

I feel the Force growing in this one.

Ha ha, guffaw giggle...

Seriously though (okay, not very seriously) how many hairy roadies would be shaven roadies if it weren't for peer pressure not to be?

I have quite hairy legs which I am ordinarily quite proud of. But when I started cycling 'properly' I considered shaving them and still do from time to time. I ride and train a lot, but I have to do it whenever I can fit it in. I don't really have a schedule that i could fit club riding into, so I'm not surrounded by glabrous peers and hence the pressure to be the same. If I were going to ride an etape or something, I might do it, but it would take alot of work to convince my missus.

There we are. I've confessed. I am a shaven 'like a laydee' roadie in a hairy body!

There is no chance of me shaving my legs. A shaven head, hairy chest and shaved legs. I'd look like some circus freak. So there'd be pressure to shave the chest and then you're into Right Said Fred territory. N.F.W.

victor ludorum

cjcp wrote:

There is no chance of me shaving my legs. A shaven head, hairy chest and shaved legs. I'd look like some circus freak. So there'd be pressure to shave the chest and then you're into Right Said Fred territory. N.F.W.

Well there you are, how much shaving is enough? As I've already said, I don't think one would go coot-like all the way. Friction from scrotal stubble could play havoc with your race times, not to mention making nasty pulls in your expensive lycra...

You'd end up basically hairless to about mid-thigh, then graduated length and thickness (of hair growth!!) becoming normal above the midriff. Just about do-able unless you ordinarily look like an extra from the remake of planet of the apes who kept his costume, but it seems like a lot of work.

el_presidente

PS I overtook a fellow fixie up Highgate Hilll yesterday wooo get me

chewa

Greg T wrote:

chewa wrote:

This is not pertinent to the game (as it happened before), but I thought you guys might appreciate the tale.

She was (a) blonde and very attractive - even from behind

What madness is this, in my "view" (get it) the "best" view is from behind as they have ace legs and bums that you can look at - they smell nice as they are girls and as you are behind them you can smell soap and washing powder.

I quite agree (my basic rule is NOT to overtake an attractive female cyclist)- but don't get too close to enjoy the smell or it gets a bit too much into Hannibal Lector territory.

"Ah yes Clarice I can tell you use Assos chamois creme - but not today"

jedster

by the way we now have

fast singlie
faux singlie

how do these fit with

messenger
fakenger

do genuine couriers count as -1 if they are playing?

This stuff matters. Obviously.

Prowlus

Wonder where a full suss with semi slicks plus lockout come under the food chain ?

http://www.pinkbike.com/photo/2262095/

Takrn just before a trip to london where I outran a hybrid and I think a singlespeed but hot my ass handed to me by all the roadies in town

Greg T

So then, this morning as I drag slowly away from some lights near home and am just spooling a guy passes me with a straighht barred more road bike than hybrid thing.

I do the decent thing grab a handful of gears and ease him away, in fairness I'm doing 26 by the time I push him off so he's not that slow.

Here we go, I think this one can run and run.

Putney Bridge and he slips by me as I'm braking for the lights - cool, do him on the stretch running into Parsons Green. He's not moving as fast.....

Then - Horror of Horrors - he shoots a pelican crossing that I'm stopped at - swerving round the back of the ped.

Bad form, the repect I had evaporates.

I do him again.

At the lights by the Peterborough Pub at the end of Parsons Green I'm stopped for red - a ped crossing in front of me and

Whizz

Through he goes in front of the Ped.

So then - I'm now at the lights to Vauxhall Bridge - there he is - I can't help myself.

"Were you that guy who shot the lights with the Ped on them"

"Yeah"

"Not Cool"

"I was miles away and it's faster"

"If you want to get there faster lose some weight Fat Boy"

There was some debate about our relative sizes but given that fact that I'd done him three times I'm claiming the win here.

Now - is it wrong to call a RLJer a Fat Boy at the lights? Is it a victimless crime or have I stepped over the line?

I'm booking the three droppings as wins as doing serial RLJers is a great joy to me.

Clever Pun

Firstly a warning to you all...

Never stry off your A game or you might just have some embarrassment brought on you, I was coasting down the road about 20 when the fricking slicked mountain bike on flat does me he's pedaling his heart out and he's scalped me fair and square ARRRGH so I'm on him in a flash as he was sprinting to take me and eases of shortly after but he's not showing it (good lad) but I've got to turn off to go home no chance for even slight retribution :x I cried myself to sleep.

This morning I gunned it in most of the way and saw a roadie I've caught him he knows I'm there as he has a quick look just before I blast him away... do I feel better? a little

Greg call people names while they can hit you is an interesting game.. unless you're bigger than they are

greg66_tri_v2.0

Greg T wrote:

"If you want to get there faster lose some weight Fat Boy"

There was some debate about our relative sizes but given that fact that I'd done him three times I'm claiming the win here.

Now - is it wrong to call a RLJer a Fat Boy at the lights? Is it a victimless crime or have I stepped over the line?

Nope. How else are they going to learn (a) that RLJing is a bad thing, and (b) that being Fat is a bad thing?

RLJing fcuks me off bigtime. 10 riders waiting at the lights, one jumps. Which one are the motorists going to remember as the cyclist?

They are scum. It would be a service to ride up alongside them, pull out my Samuarai sword from over my shoulder, and decapitate them.

Unless the bobbling head on the pavement might hurt a ped, of course.

Greg T

Clever Pun wrote:

Greg call people names while they can hit you is an interesting game.. unless you're bigger than they are

In fairness he was a bloater. As Michael Caine said in Get Carter:

"You're a big man but you're out of shape, with me it's a full time job, now behave yourself"

I don't make a habit of insulting strangers but he had it coming.....