Silly commuting racing

charlie_big_potatoes

Afternoon all

Been playing the Game with rising enthusiasm for a little while now. I'm off on a three month cycle tour next week so wasn't planning on involving myself but this mornings encounter was one I cannot leave untold.

I'm on a hybrid but it's an old Dawes 501 frame so fairly light. I carry a pannier on my commute and wear a crappy old t shirt and 3/4 length baggy shorts that MC Hammer would be ashamed to wear. By this reckoning I'm a 9 but I give myself a handicap of -3 because my ride is a 3.5-mile dash. This puts me on a 6 which I'm comfortable with. So, on to the Game...

I'm about 0.5 miles into the ride and I pull up at a red light at a three-way junction. There's not much opportunity to play before these lights and they hold a sort of 'starting line' symbolism in my mind. The usual rabble of hybrids and roadies saunter past and RLJ. I chuckle to myself as I imagine their mandhoods retreating further into their stomachs when I scalp them in a few minutes time. Then “she” pulls in front of me. What appears to be a woman, approaching her 40s with all the grace of a walrus in a tiara, cuts in front of my spot at the 'line' on a battered old MTB. 'How rude' thought I. The lights turn green and I dig in to make a quick pass before the traffic reaches speed - but WTF! She’s taken off like a hippo on speed. I'm struggling to match her acceleration and I can feel my testicles packing their bags in anticipation.

I dig in on the slight downhill and make up some good ground before looking ahead to the fast approaching red lights. There is a queue of traffic for the lights in the left lane but the right is clear. Trouble is, the right lane ends at the lights and the left lane is blocked beyond the ‘no-stopping’ box by a queue of traffic for the next set of lights. My nemesis sees it too but as I peel off into the right lane she commits a foul and, thinking she can escape both queues, bowls up onto the pavement. Aha! A misjudgement on her part. As I near the first set of lights they turn green and I nip inside the second set of standing traffic as she attempts to navigate the pedestrians. I know the timing of these lights so I don’t ease off on the approach. Sure enough they change and as I steam past some of the RLJers gathering at least two hairy roadie scalps.

I’m really shifting now and the next set of lights bow to my mojo by turning green on my approach and allowing me to claim a further scalp. In an act of divine kindness the next two set of lights follow suit and, although they yield no scalps the speed I maintain means the spectre of the cycling female whale shark is gone from my mind. My green light run comes to and end and I pull up and take a quick swig. I nearly choke when she pulls up a few seconds later.

How has she done this? She wasn’t over my shoulder at any point. She’s hard to miss too. A motorbike pulls up between us and revs, adding to the tension. The lights change and I rip away from the line. In my madness I twitch between lanes at every opportunity, desperate to put some distance between myself and the lady-mountain. I’m going faster than the almost free flowing traffic and risking life by playing chicken with oncoming buses. The reasonable part of my brain tells me to stop but the much larger child part shouts at me to continue.
After about a mile of this insane behaviour I’ve lost her. Maybe she turned off, maybe she gave up. Maybe she needed more ‘roids. I slow a little and hope the air con at work is turned on. The motorcycle from earlier, held up by traffic until now, pulls along side, gives a slight nod of acknowledgement and pulls away. He knows the Game when he sees it. I continue on to work, scalps and testicles intact.

xio

After needing to put up a fairly robust defence to some guy on a hybrid this morning (me on ss - the shame of it!), but maintaning my honour as he ran out of steam, it occurred to me that it might be in order to allow a neutral zone for the last 500m of a journey. I commute into the city, and the perils of Moorgate suggest there might be a high price to pay for winning the race. It's getting kind of hazardous drafting the traffic when the spectators don't see you and step out...

Thoughts?

jedster

Now I know you'be been called on this but I'm not sure the point's been made strongly enough

it’s not tarty (much: red tires, white tape and white arione saddle

Not tarty, you say? NOT TARTY? In what flippin' parallel universe is that NOT TARTY?

And then insult arriving very rapidly in pursuit of injury:

white hubs and rims on the way though

White hubs? The mercury is rising rapidly up the tartometer.

WHITE RIMS!!!!! Bang! There's broken glass and slippery silver liquid all over the shop.

You better be fast, boy.
A word to the wise, if you look around the table at the cannibals' all you can eat buffet and you're not sure who is on the menu...

Cheers,
J

jedster

It's getting kind of hazardous drafting the traffic when the spectators don't see you and step out...

Thoughts?

I think that's more than covered by the "don't ride like a c0ck" exemption. You'll know in you're haert if you were being responsible or just weak.

J

il_principe

jedster wrote:

Now I know you'be been called on this but I'm not sure the point's been made strongly enough

it’s not tarty (much: red tires, white tape and white arione saddle

Not tarty, you say? NOT TARTY? In what flippin' parallel universe is that NOT TARTY?

And then insult arriving very rapidly in pursuit of injury:

white hubs and rims on the way though

White hubs? The mercury is rising rapidly up the tartometer.

WHITE RIMS!!!!! Bang! There's broken glass and slippery silver liquid all over the shop.

You better be fast, boy.
A word to the wise, if you look around the table at the cannibals' all you can eat buffet and you're not sure who is on the menu...

Cheers,
J

Haha... obvio it's all about perspective but head over to http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/ and you'll see some proper tarty bikes.

Bassjunkieuk

xio wrote:

After needing to put up a fairly robust defence to some guy on a hybrid this morning (me on ss - the shame of it!), but maintaning my honour as he ran out of steam, it occurred to me that it might be in order to allow a neutral zone for the last 500m of a journey. I commute into the city, and the perils of Moorgate suggest there might be a high price to pay for winning the race. It's getting kind of hazardous drafting the traffic when the spectators don't see you and step out...

Thoughts?

Would this work at both ends? For example if you've only just set off and are still warming up? I for one don't do stretches before I leave in the morning, heck I don't stretch before I cycle anywhere.......but I digress :-) I know that I'm not "in the zone" until I've done a mile or two and have the heart rate up from resting to working!

But then there are those rules that say ride safely and any advantages gained in traffic don't count, so in theory drafting traffic would make the scalps null and void.

Haha... obvio it's all about perspective but head over to http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/ and you'll see some proper tarty bikes.

That site is basically bike pr0n.........been on there before and it just makes you look even weirder in the eyes of your colleagues when you start staring at seemingly normal looking bikes!! Oh how little they know, after all beauty is in the eye of the bike owner!

Sea_Green_Incorruptible

Bassjunkieuk wrote:

Haha... obvio it's all about perspective but head over to http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/ and you'll see some proper tarty bikes.

That site is basically bike pr0n.........been on there before and it just makes you look even weirder in the eyes of your colleagues when you start staring at seemingly normal looking bikes!! Oh how little they know, after all beauty is in the eye of the bike owner!

Oh Lordy. I do like 'Angel's Colnago'. I like that bike very much indeed....

il_principe

jedster wrote:

Now I know you'be been called on this but I'm not sure the point's been made strongly enough

it’s not tarty (much: red tires, white tape and white arione saddle

Not tarty, you say? NOT TARTY? In what flippin' parallel universe is that NOT TARTY?

And then insult arriving very rapidly in pursuit of injury:

white hubs and rims on the way though

White hubs? The mercury is rising rapidly up the tartometer.

WHITE RIMS!!!!! Bang! There's broken glass and slippery silver liquid all over the shop.

You better be fast, boy.
A word to the wise, if you look around the table at the cannibals' all you can eat buffet and you're not sure who is on the menu...

Cheers,
J

You see here's the bike in its current incarnation (pre white wheels, roll on August):


Not exactly tarty in my book!

UnworthyPapaLazaru

xio wrote:

After needing to put up a fairly robust defence to some guy on a hybrid this morning (me on ss - the shame of it!), but maintaning my honour as he ran out of steam, it occurred to me that it might be in order to allow a neutral zone for the last 500m of a journey. I commute into the city, and the perils of Moorgate suggest there might be a high price to pay for winning the race. It's getting kind of hazardous drafting the traffic when the spectators don't see you and step out...

Thoughts?

I couldnt agree more. I sailed past a couple of my co-workers the other day after putting a monumental effort to catch up with them after spotting them in the distance. I was well past, a good distance. As I approched work, I slowed right down and took the route that avoided the cobbles where I nearly took a tumble a few weeks ago and the way I went added a bit of distance to my journey and I had slowed right down to cool off.

As I get to the bike racks on of the earlier mentioned co-workers parks up a split second before me (a woman no less) 'I knew Id beat you after you past me' - I was absolutley gobsmacked. What a bloody cheek! The game finished way back when you were nowhere. I actually said 'pardon?' She repeated and I gave her a look and remained silent. Unbelieveable, the cheek of the woman to think she could get anywhere near me!

I am in full support of your suggestion.

jedster

nice, very nice

when I get round to posting pics of my bikes, you'll understand...

Greg T

jashburnham wrote:

You see here's the bike in its current incarnation (pre white wheels, roll on August):


Not exactly tarty in my book!

What exactly is your book?

"Miss Whiplash's Hardcore Fetish, Stiffer The Better, Make It Hurt More, That's How I Like It Compendium"

Your bike's a tart and with white rims and hub a filthy little tart at that!

Angel's Colnago.....

Is that a Colnago Master frame..... £999 without forks apparently......


I've been doing some internet research when Mrs T's in bed. She'd not talk to me again if she knew....

charlie_big_potatoes wrote:

After about a mile of this insane behaviour I’ve lost her.

I'm all for spirited riding dude but over zealous game playing will get you squished and that's uncool.

Also the brake in / accelerate out zones around lights and traffic don't count. In effect you need long straights to lay down your mojo otherwise you're an ambush predator. Preferably you need a long straight into the wind / uphill so you can really grind it out.......

As for the "safe" space in the first / last mile I'm sympathetic to this....... the way I look at it I have the luxury of a long run from the off so anyone who jumps me in the first few miles will get reeled in before very long. My wind down zone is about 500m long and again its "Parley"

Revenge is a dish best served cold and all that.......

il_principe

Greg T wrote:

What exactly is your book?

"Miss Whiplash's Hardcore Fetish, Stiffer The Better, Make It Hurt More, That's How I Like It Compendium"

Your bike's a tart and with white rims and hub a filthy little tart at that!

Angel's Colnago.....

Is that a Colnago Master frame..... £999 without forks apparently......


I've been doing some internet research when Mrs T's in bed. She'd not talk to me again if she knew....

Nah, this is Tarty:

greg66_tri_v2.0

jashburnham wrote:

Nah, this is Tarty:

Ye Gods. I've had to turn my monitor down.

The last time I saw anyone looking that knackered they'd been dead three days.

And you lose points for using the small chainring. And unzipping. And riding with your mouth open. People use flypaper to keep the fly population down, y'know.

And why are you wearing furry tracksuit bottoms?

Sea_Green_Incorruptible

Flipping heck. You're not wrong there Jash. You don't actually ride that f*cker into work do you? :shock:

I presume you actually have the legs to match the look as it were? Getting burned off by a MTB on nobblies would NOT be cool in that get up.

il_principe

I'd never ride the Prince into work! :shock: And yes I have the legs (well reasonable ones anyway, enough to beat nobblies) - came 53rd out of 729 entrants on the Dragon ride 120ker this year which is where that pic is from.

2wheelzgood

Well lads, you have the photo ID of this man, game on.
Jash, I hope you're as fast as you look sexy :shock:

il_principe

Bring it on folks!

I'm gonna have to buy a 15T for the singlespeed now aren't I... that or risk massive shame.

2wheelzgood

jashburnham wrote:

Bring it on folks!

I'm gonna have to buy a 15T for the singlespeed now aren't I... that or risk massive shame.

was gonna keep it quiet but that's something I'm using- a smaller cog. Those weird folk with gears tend not to spot that and are still WOWed by the speed we can get up..

"wow only one gear and looking so sexy and with that smooth stylee"
Is what they say about me (in my mind) as I silently swoop by (read: slowly edge past, pedals creaking from strain, sweat dripping, mouth gaping, chain rubbin tensioner due to 95% correct chainline)

14t ftw..

keep it hush mate

greg66_tri_v2.0

jashburnham wrote:

I'm no messenger but commute on a Pearson Touche (singlespeed) 48/16, it’s not tarty (much: red tires, white tape and white arione saddle, white hubs and rims on the way though). Tend to wear baggy Swrve shorts, spd-l's and either a cycling jersey.

So I pull up at the Vauxhall Bridge lights tonight and see the guy in front of me is on a Pearson, white bar tape, white saddle, white rims, white hubs, baggy shorts and a cycling top! Not you, obviously, as I realised when I got home that you have yor white "Cadillac" wheels on order still.

BTW. He was slow. V slow. Don't get mistaken for him ...

greg66_tri_v2.0

Tonight was one of those nights - bottomless pits of awesome power in both quads.

Pull up at the lights to get onto the Strand, and there's a lithe supple vision of loveliness on an Allez square in front of me. Tanned, top drawer back end, and a fetching little blond pony tail out of the back of her helmet. Female too, which is nice. We pull away and I am sufficiently entranced to decide to forego my slip road down to the Embankment and roll along the Strand admiring, errr, protecting her rear end from lecherous motorists.

Until I realise that the Strand is crap and full of traffic, and my power numbers are going through the floor, and all the angles of her @rse aren't going to help them. So I drop her, cut up the middle and hit Whitehall.

Roll along there holding station next to a black cab all the way to Pt Sq. This is good. Coming off the Lambeth Br roundabout I can see a string of riders off into the distance. Surely there'll be something nice waiting for me at the lights?

Get there and I think for a while I'm about to scalp James "The Prince" Ashburnham (see above). We pull away and his bike doppleganger is moving off slowly - really slowly. Maybe he nicked that bike. By the time we get across the junction I realise (a) this is a waste of time and (b) there's a hairy target up ahead that's getting away. Step on it and I catch him at the entrance to the Canyon. He's on an Ambrosio. The creamed rice man.

We have cars blocking and slowing. I fall back. He does too. I'm careful not to get overlap, but there's a sneaky look back from him at the sound of my freewheel. Game on.

The cars start to accelerate. So does creamed rice, but not too hard. I wonder where he's read about this trick, I think. Sure enough, he has a second, bigger dig as the cars get out the way. It's nowhere near enough. As we go through the lights in a swift and single effortless move I skin him alive, and roll off into the distance holding a steady 48. Most agreeable.

The lights at Chelsea Bridge are red and I roll to them slowly, stopping forward of the stop line. I feel like a run on to Albert tonight. Perhaps there's more to be had there.

Lights go green and I cross the junction lazily. What's this! Creamed rice has just come past me on the incline coming off the junction. And I think he means business this time!

I step it up and slot onto his wheel. There's power galore still to come in my legs. I wonder what his are like? Let's find out. Slide out and round him, opening a Watney's Party Seven of kiss-my-ass-goodbye all over him. Settle in at just under 53, feeling like there's stil more in the tank. I'm almost wishing creamed rice would have another go, but he's way off the back now.

The plague has gone. I am whole again.

One of these days I might just try a Lance to Jan "You coming?" look as the Party Seven gets opened.

Bassjunkieuk

I got caught out royally in the way home today :-( Pulling onto Grand Drive I spotted a drop bar bike a about 50-60 yards further up on the main carriageway. I start to spin up hoping to put some distance between me and this guy on the nice clear road we have ahead.

There was a terrible wind this evening (anyone else get it?) and it was knocking a good 1-2mph off my usual cruising speed. After I pass a couple of roads I do a quick shoulder check as I need to pull round one of the many craters on this lovely strip of road when who should come past? The roadie I spotted earlier! I could see why as he came past too!

Shaved smoother then most body builders and with legs to match! I'm not even sure if my waist measurement was the same size as his thigh!!! Riding a rather tasty looking Pearson he had matching blue Pearson lycra gear on, this guy was a full FCN or 2 above me. Unfortunately we where now approaching the queueing traffic at the lights ahead. I followed his line to filter through and he carried on straight accross at the bottom and I turned right towards Morden. He would have been a properly good scalp, but alas I fear it wasn't meant to be.

Then a little while later I'm greeted by another roadie coming from Mitcham direction, taking the same exit on the roundabout I'm about to take! Finally something interesting. Another club rider, Dever's Bikes I think it was, with matching yellow and black tyres (WTF??) caught him on the little hump back bridge only to have to slow for stopped traffic on the opposite side. We're both at the traffic lights waiting for them to change and then he turns left......without so much as a shoulder check or hand signal! Guess it just wasn't meant to be today :-( Shame as I had could have done with riding off the stress after some tw4t in a BMW did a rather close pass, only to want to turn left at the roundabout 10 yards ahead! The worst bit was he even waited in anticipation of me going along side him before turning (I could see him checking his mirrors for me), I waved him on with a "was it really worth it" as I passed.

il_principe

Greg66 wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

I'm no messenger but commute on a Pearson Touche (singlespeed) 48/16, it’s not tarty (much: red tires, white tape and white arione saddle, white hubs and rims on the way though). Tend to wear baggy Swrve shorts, spd-l's and either a cycling jersey.

So I pull up at the Vauxhall Bridge lights tonight and see the guy in front of me is on a Pearson, white bar tape, white saddle, white rims, white hubs, baggy shorts and a cycling top! Not you, obviously, as I realised when I got home that you have yor white "Cadillac" wheels on order still.

BTW. He was slow. V slow. Don't get mistaken for him ...

What? Doppelganger? We can't have this. I can assure you that it wasn't me, my bike spent last night in the shop having a new rear brake fitted and I spent last night in the pub with my colleagues getting plastered for the first time in ages. I'll be on the bike tonight but feeling rather fragile today and having to take the tube into work has not helped improve my mood.

Greg T

jashburnham wrote:

my bike spent last night in the shop having a new rear brake fitted

WHAT!

You get the shop to fit a new back brake!

What's wrong with spending four hours of your life on your hands and knees crying trying to find the fiddly little washer thingy like the rest of us - before taking it to the shop and getting them to do it?

You may have a smart bike and be rapid* but do you not have a good mm of driven in and not coming out lube and road grit under your nails?

* Of course we have yet to hear of any significant scrapping so like Greg66 before you (prior to his epiphany moment and outing himself as mortal), you are "novice"........

il_principe

I do most maintenance myself, but brakes get left to the experts.*

*not that I ever have use for brakes

ChrisLS

...brakes? Brakes? no problem always maintain mine...but my latest MTB has disc brakes...oh dear :? ...I think I'll have to take it to the man for maintenance...

victor ludorum

Some of Greg66's mojo must be rubbing off on me (Actually, I think I'll rephrase that...) as I too had an evening of awesome power and control on tap. The shame was that I had very little to do with it. Along the Euston Road I found myself playing tag with a bunch of RLJing MTBs (they don't count ordinarily, but I am playing the RLJ sub-game too where all's fair...)

The usual routine - ride along, overtake slower cyclist, slow for lights, slower cyclist catches up and doesn't stop, lights change, off you go and reel him in again. Rinse, repeat. A chain of three or four increases the challenge somewhat, but it still always works the same way. I just enjoy passing them with a comparatively lazy cadence while their little mountain-bike rings spin like crazy. Does that make me a bad person?

Met Pistaman again (Bianchi Pista ridden fixed, nice wheels, aerobars, ride computer, front brake only) who always looks like he's hurrying off to present an Open University lecture programme somewhere, circa 1977. In any case, he rides quick (big chain ring, little back cog - haven't had the chance to see what exactly, I'll ask next time.). He passed me as I waited to join the Bayswater Road, and heavy traffic meant he got a good head start on me, but I managed to track him down on the ascent of the Col du Porte Notting. This meant that I would have to be quick, as the drag between the lights through Nottinghill is too short to count, and it isn't really fair to beat a real fixed on a downhill.

Unfortunately, just as I had gotten to his rear wheel and was about to spin up, a ruddy taxi zooms up behind and attempts to park directly on top of me. I had to put on a sudden sprint and squirted past him at the exact moment he began to overtake a hairy roadie in front of him, which meant, as far as I was concerned, I cut him up bad. At the next lights I apologised and he graciously said he hadn't noticed (a generous lie, I've sworn under my breath at people who've done exactly what I just did). Chastened, I let him go ahead of me. (Besides, its really funny watching him spinning like a loon on the descent... )

jedster

<i>WHAT!

You get the shop to fit a new back brake!
</i>

And correct me if I'm wrong Jash but you're riding fixed? Meaning that you are getting the shop to replace a rear brake you are never going to use anyway?

I reckon you're just looking for ways to get your FCN dowwn to les rarified levels.

Cheers,
J

il_principe

Why all the grief for getting the shop to sort the rear brake?! I'm not mechanically minded alright! :oops:

I ride SS at the mo, only ridden fixed in Richmond Park so far, I'm building up to it. Does riding SS lower my FCN? (crosses fingers).

2wheelzgood

it ought to do but the commoner (geared cyclist) does not know his hardcore apples from his lazy pears so we are lumped together based on how fast and stylish we look.

Granted yours is not as snazzy as some (The Japanese fixie rider videos I've seen are insane) but it says "look at me and my knowledge and "form over function" attitude.. even if that's not your intent!
Mine is a heap of parts bolted together sometimes loosely as I found out when my aerobar was wobbling last night! (will take picture today, honest)

Unlucky to be a newbie to fixed yet still have that target on yer scalp.. mind it's your own doing! start spinning fella!

victor ludorum

2wheelzgood wrote:

it ought to do but the commoner (geared cyclist) does not know his hardcore apples from his lazy pears so we are lumped together based on how fast and stylish we look.

Unlucky to be a newbie to fixed yet still have that target on yer scalp.. mind it's your own doing! start spinning fella!

Oi, some of us know the difference and can tell (unclipping one foot and spinning the other like a loon on a downhill is a dead giveaway, for example) I rode borrowed fixed for a bit and was even going to build myself one, but I don't have a lot of spare parts, or space, and Mrs Ludorum, keen cyclist that she is, might baulk at another bike in the house. I do rather like the look of the Charge Plug Racer as an off the peg hack...
http://www.chargebikes.com/products/bikes/detail.php?id=13
(not sure about the white rims, though... )