Silly commuting racing

attica

Much respect to the MTB with massive panniers that I reeled in but didn't have enough time to catch this morning through LA (Long Ashton), you really were doing well.

I have a question for the floor though...

As I got to the T junction at the end of Long Ashton to turn right, there was a shaven roadie coming down the hill from the left, now he'd had a full mile of descending to get up to speed and if he was worth his salt he'd have been nudging 40mph at this point, he screamed past me like I was stationery, then again, before I crossed the road I was stationery, and on my singley I not only accelerate slowly at first but top out at about 25-30mph (no computer so I can't be sure).
The road to the right is far gentler a descent compared to the section the roadie had done.

So my question, have I been scalped fair and square? or do the junction rules count? He turned off before any real flat comparison could be made, so I'm unsure.

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

Greg T wrote:

"If you want to get there faster lose some weight Fat Boy"

There was some debate about our relative sizes but given that fact that I'd done him three times I'm claiming the win here.

Now - is it wrong to call a RLJer a Fat Boy at the lights? Is it a victimless crime or have I stepped over the line?

Nope. How else are they going to learn (a) that RLJing is a bad thing, and (b) that being Fat is a bad thing?

RLJing fcuks me off bigtime. 10 riders waiting at the lights, one jumps. Which one are the motorists going to remember as the cyclist?

They are scum. It would be a service to ride up alongside them, pull out my Samuarai sword from over my shoulder, and decapitate them.

Unless the bobbling head on the pavement might hurt a ped, of course.

Greg (T) -

(a) it is perfectly acceptable to insult somebody who doesn't respect pedestrians (and therefore gives us a bad name);
(b) you were much more polite than I would have been if I were the pedestrian; and
(c) I have done exactly the same - at the zebra crossing by Roehampton Gate entrance/exit of Richmond Park when a donkey moron went through when kids were crossing.

Fyi, last night on Embankment by the tube, a chap went through two reds. I was in a foul mood, but the most I could utter was "berk".

Greg66 -

lateralus

Great thread. My commute is taking on a whole new dimension.

As a newcomer, would appreciate some guidance on where in the food chain to place a full carbon drop bar Focus with cheap flat pedals with big reflectors on them? Is there a category for "faux roadie" or, more cynically, "stolen"?

In any case, it was no match for 26" slicks, and a scalping was inflicted...

Greg T

lateralus wrote:

a full carbon drop bar Focus with cheap flat pedals with big reflectors on them? Is there a category for "faux roadie" or, more cynically, "stolen"?

Are you six years old and does your Dad know you are on the interweb?

lateralus

no and no.

attica

Hey Greg

Nice way to encourage the newbies and make them feel welcome.

Ignore him Lateralus, he probably got scalped this morning which has put him in a bad mood.

Oh and welcome to 'The Game'

Greg T

If you have a full carbon bike and presumably "do a bit" ..... why do you have flatties?

Presuming you are "hairy" and the proposed division of the Singlies sticks you'd start a 4, drop one for your flatties.... to 5...... (I think - I'm not very up on pedal related adjusters) If some dude did me and he was on flats I'd have to have a word with myself later and perhaps revoke curry privileges for a week.....

Hey Greg

Nice way to encourage the newbies and make them feel welcome.

Ignore him Lateralus, he probably got scalped this morning which has put him in a bad mood.

Sorry Dad.

Grumble grumble.......

2wheelzgood

Ok so do we have an official result on the FCN for bikes with more wheels than gears?

I have not been riding much save for a RLJ'ing spin with the local fixies guys. Very nice guys and J'ing at night even in Leeds seemed safe and very fun. I'm not a spawnofsatan abuser of the Highway code in rush hour though.. yet! (dead funyn how I was only lid wearer too but they all were mega safe and had bright lights for when it got dark.. not me.. defo need a rethink on safety priorities I do.

I will be on it tonight and have removed an unneeded link from my chain, clean it up, lowered the aerobar and adjusted the seat to time trial, lose your manhood, skyscraper height!

bring it on!

FOOD CHAIN NUMBERS:
1. Scooters
2. Roadies with shaved legs - like girls *
3. proper rapid Single speed (real men, messengers, tarty shiny fixies)
4. Roadies with hairy legs - like men *
5. Faux Single Speeds (fakengers, dirty/functional bikes, ss with a silly egg beater gear)
6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards) *
7. "Fast Hybrids" *
8. MTBs on Skinnies *
9. MTBs on Nobbies
10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on Nobbies
12. Shoppers
13. Shoppers wicker baskets
14. Electric bikes
* Pedal Adjustment +1
• ONLY FCN 2-4 gain points for overtaking the same FCN and Higher Chainers
• Recumbents, Tandems and Segways are worth +2 points as a rare bonus
• Sinclair C5 +20 points as a hens teeth bonus

any good to ya?

jedster

Prowlus,

Wonder where a full suss with semi slicks plus lockout come under the food chain ?

I looked at the photo, and although I quite like the colour, I'm afraid to tell you that semis slicks and lockout or no semi slicks and lockout you're propping up the table down with the shoppers.

The day I get taken by someone on a bike like that is the day I stop the traffic and commit cermonial suicide with my multi-tool.

No offence meant!

J

jedster

Now - is it wrong to call a RLJer a Fat Boy at the lights?

Entirely appropriate I'd have thought. In any case, if he was fat it's doubly important to call him on the RLJing - just think of the kinetic energy.

J

Greg T

2wheelzgood wrote:

any good to ya?

bang on the money.

We should tap up Fury to adjust the online thingy as I just can't do it all in my head anymore......

2wheelzgood

So can I retrospectively claim a scalp for that monumental effort last week with a hairy chav roadie whom I only just dropped?

oo points!

andrewgturnbull

cjcp wrote:

andrewgturnbull wrote:

victor ludorum wrote:

Wet metalwork and road markings can be a bit hairy on slicks at speed

I'm new to this thread - if I'm riding to work on my time trial bike, shaved legs and wearing my team kit... What handicap number do I start with?

You displace scooters at the top of the food chain!

How do I score points in this game?

Cheers, Andy

ps Rode the fixed this morning... and just because of this thread I took a diversion on the way through town to chase down two couriers on fixed... I was wearing baggies, but my legs were still shaved - do I score anything there?

pps If I'm riding my track bike (the one I race on the track) and the courier is also riding an adapted track bike - which one of us is fake?

fury21

Greg T wrote:

We should tap up Fury to adjust the online thingy as I just can't do it all in my head anymore......

done

Hairy roadies will need to recalculate their FCNs now.

btw if I miss any 'official' updates, just PM me.

attica

andrewgturnbull wrote:

How do I score points in this game?

Find an undetectable form of EPO and hope that the testers don't get wise to it.

Ricco to be hung drawn and quartered please.

....Oh hang on, wrong game

c12345

I'm going out on my shopper later to do some FCN player baiting...

greg66_tri_v2.0

andrewgturnbull wrote:

How do I score points in this game?

Cheers, Andy

By scalping equals or superiors. In your position, on a fixed ... hmm. Shaven roadies, yes. Scooters, yes. Fixies ... you'll know if it was a proper scalp. You'll just know.

And if you're on a TT bike, with an aero front, a disk on the back and an aero helmet, you should be ashamed of yourself if you're not chewing up scooters and spitting them out the back. As far as anything non-motorised goes, you've got a gigantic neon bullseye being hung over you by a helicopter shouting "come and get him!" to all and sundry.

2wheelzgood

sweet somehow I'm still 5 , but any road bike is a winner for me now.

re pedals.. mine are spd-a-likes but not overt cycling shoes.. +/-0 yeah?

snooks

Greg66 wrote:

andrewgturnbull wrote:

How do I score points in this game?

Cheers, Andy

By scalping equals or superiors. In your position, on a fixed ... hmm. Shaven roadies, yes. Scooters, yes. Fixies ... you'll know if it was a proper scalp. You'll just know.

Work out your FCN (Food Chain Number) here http://www.citrusskies.co.uk/fcn

And follow the rules and instructions here http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=17813152777

Easy :0)

Tho I think the 2-4 bit might need some rejigging thanks to Greg T's SS adjustment...But we'll see how that goes for a bit...

Clever Pun

snooks wrote:

Tho I think the 2-4 bit might need some rejigging thanks to Greg T's SS adjustment...But we'll see how that goes for a bit...

does that mean roadies get points for other roadies?

I don't mind as the beard drops me down to take em anyways


I've just had a killer circuits class with loads of leg raises and squats... I could be in trouble tonight and tomorrow morning

snooks

Clever Pun wrote:

snooks wrote:

Tho I think the 2-4 bit might need some rejigging thanks to Greg T's SS adjustment...But we'll see how that goes for a bit...

does that mean roadies get points for other roadies?

This is what the SS adjustment has casued :?

FOOD CHAIN NUMBERS:
1. Scooters
2. Roadies with shaved legs - like girls *
3. Proper rapid Single speed (real men, messengers, tarty shiny fixies) *
4. Roadies with hairy legs - like men *
5. Faux Single Speeds (fakengers, dirty/functional bikes, silly egg beater gear) *
6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards) *
7. "Fast Hybrids" *
8. MTBs on Skinnies *
9. MTBs on Nobbies
10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on Nobbies
12. Shoppers
13. Shoppers wicker baskets
14. Electric bikes
* Pedal Adjustment +1
• ONLY FCN 2-4 gain points for overtaking the same FCN and Higher Chainers


So maybe it should now be just be 2&3, so the Real SS can do real SS and ladee roadies. And ladee like roadies can do each other. Maybe they do already, I dunno what goes through the mind of men who shave their legs

Hehehe

Greg T

2wheelzgood wrote:

sweet somehow I'm still 5 , but any road bike is a winner for me now.

re pedals.. mine are spd-a-likes but not overt cycling shoes.. +/-0 yeah?

Only if you think you are dead slow and not worth a hairy roadie chasing you down.......

You see it cuts both ways... If you fancy yourself as a bit tasty then you are still Ape Food and are out to nail ladies with BIG Hands and a large grooming bill.

Faux Singlies confuse the natural order.......

I wonder if I'm going to run into Dough Boy this evening, do you think he's got any quicker?

and

Snooks wrote:

This is what the SS adjustment has casued

Hey don't blame me for messing with the chain - God told me to do it and the voices agreed so what could I do?

You're just pissed that the thinking changed before you got your grown up road bike and suddenly the oppo's got tastier.....

I thought my fatty RLJer this morning might be you (when I thought he was quick and not fat - once he'd RLJed and I realised he was a bloater and ergo untermenschen.) he's was also on a whote white genesis not your green rusty shopper.

Bugger

I just checked out Fury's FCN calculator as the hypermaths is now beating me to check out my number....

Following my baseball cap in the rain experiment the other night = it works great. I was in the bike shop getting some chamois creme (cough) when I found myself looking at little bike caps........

Also I was thinking of asking Mrs T for a set of Oakleys for my birthday.....

Jaysus.

That would put me at a 2 and in all kinds of trouble.... I am having to restrict my kit to keep my number down...... this is an unexpected and unwelcome consequence as I love toys...

greg66_tri_v2.0

Greg T wrote:

That would put me at a 2 and in all kinds of trouble.... I am having to restrict my kit to keep my number down...... this is an unexpected and unwelcome consequence as I love toys...

Don't expect any sympathy from me. I'm on sodding zero. Since finding that out, I've been riding like Shere Khan with his tail on fire.

andrewgturnbull

snooks wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

andrewgturnbull wrote:

How do I score points in this game?

Cheers, Andy

By scalping equals or superiors. In your position, on a fixed ... hmm. Shaven roadies, yes. Scooters, yes. Fixies ... you'll know if it was a proper scalp. You'll just know.

Work out your FCN (Food Chain Number) here http://www.citrusskies.co.uk/fcn

And follow the rules and instructions here http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=17813152777

Easy :0)

Tho I think the 2-4 bit might need some rejigging thanks to Greg T's SS adjustment...But we'll see how that goes for a bit...

Hi again.

If I'm on the TT bike I come out as FCN==0, which pretty much means I f****d then?

Cheers, Andy

ps Neon bullseye? Am I bothered? Not been overtaken in nearly 12 years of commuting...

greg66_tri_v2.0

andrewgturnbull wrote:

If I'm on the TT bike I come out as FCN==0, which pretty much means I f****d then?

Cheers, Andy

ps Neon bullseye? Am I bothered? Not been overtaken in nearly 12 years of commuting...

You're only [sic] on zero because there's nothing in there for aero helmets and disks wheels.

12 years eh. 'bout time ye moved to London, I'd say ... :twisted:

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

andrewgturnbull wrote:

If I'm on the TT bike I come out as FCN==0, which pretty much means I f****d then?

Cheers, Andy

ps Neon bullseye? Am I bothered? Not been overtaken in nearly 12 years of commuting...

You're only [sic] on zero because there's nothing in there for aero helmets and disks wheels.

12 years eh. 'bout time ye moved to London, I'd say ... :twisted:

Indeed. It's one thing being top scorer in the B&Q Division 1 Northern League Section 2 playing against a pub XI, it's another thing altogether scoring those goals in the Premiership. :twisted:

victor ludorum

Greg66 wrote:

[

How else are they going to learn (a) that RLJing is a bad thing, and (b) that being Fat is a bad thing?

RLJing fcuks me off bigtime. 10 riders waiting at the lights, one jumps. Which one are the motorists going to remember as the cyclist?

They are scum. It would be a service to ride up alongside them, pull out my Samuarai sword from over my shoulder, and decapitate them.

Unless the bobbling head on the pavement might hurt a ped, of course.

Samurai sword, do they do those in carbon?

I am in complete agreement. I don't like RLJing at all. When the only neck they're risking is their own, that's one thing ('I do it because its safer' my chamoised, lycra-clad a*se), but when they go through crossings they are full on scum. :evil:

andrewgturnbull

cjcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

12 years eh. 'bout time ye moved to London, I'd say ... :twisted:

Indeed. It's one thing being top scorer in the B&Q Division 1 Northern League Section 2 playing against a pub XI, it's another thing altogether scoring those goals in the Premiership. :twisted:

Hi there.

Yeah... I'll give up this sort of stuff, and move to London instead...



What colour lenses are best for squinting through that smog again?

;-)

Cheers, Andy

snooks

Greg T wrote:

Snooks wrote:

This is what the SS adjustment has casued

Hey don't blame me for messing with the chain - God told me to do it and the voices agreed so what could I do?

You're just pissed that the thinking changed before you got your grown up road bike and suddenly the oppo's got tastier.....

I thought my fatty RLJer this morning might be you (when I thought he was quick and not fat - once he'd RLJed and I realised he was a bloater and ergo untermenschen.) he's was also on a whote white genesis not your green rusty shopper.

OK, So you're calling me a fatty red light jumper?? :evil: and my trusty stead a rusty green shopper! :evil: :evil:...You can insult me all you like, but don't have a go at my wheels :evil: ...Erm maybe that should be the other way around :?

Anyway I don't RLJ, I don't ride a shopper, and I'm not fat, "Chunky" maybe, fat, no, no, NO!

Anyway I've been waiting for you to pass me, but no sign of you yet ...I've been thinking, (quiet night and a b*gger of a head wind) maybe we do need an identifier....For you Mr T, a pink ribbon round your seat post (hey I heard voices, and they said you should have pink! )....for everyone else a bit of tape, yellow insulation tape or summut?

Greg T

andrewgturnbull wrote:

If I'm on the TT bike I come out as FCN==0, which pretty much means I f****d then?

ps Neon bullseye? Am I bothered? Not been overtaken in nearly 12 years of commuting...

All you need to do is find someone else, on your route with shaved legs, an Aero helmet, disk wheels and a TT bike. If they also have Aero bars or - a little bike cap - then he's all yours......

I can't see the problem here.

Of course from your photo I see you live in the dark side of the moon so perhaps your oppo is going to be thin on the ground........