Silly commuting racing

cjcp

Definite scalp - he's got a Catford CC top on! Organisers of the UK's (world's?) oldest hill climb race, I think.

Feltup

Kieran_Burns wrote:

I'd like to do that. I really would. My only concern is that I would simply cough up a load of phlegm into the poor sods face as I tried the cheery "Hi!" :oops:

I really need to get fitter.... :roll:

If you can't do it in style then do it with biological warfare

This morning I was thinking that the bit of drool hanging from my mouth as I gasped my way up the gradual incline would be a bit of a giveaway if I ever saw anyone on my commute.

attica

As with all scalps, the end arbiter is your concience.

Look into your soul and ask yourself "is this really a scalp?"

Clever Pun

cjcp wrote:

Definite scalp - he's got a Catford CC top on! Organisers of the UK's (world's?) oldest hill climb race, I think.

I susppose you've got to take everything you can get after that mtb'er did you

His FCN would be 0 I guess no bag, cap, club top. ONE LEG

cjcp

Clever Pun wrote:

I susppose you've got to take everything you can get after that mtb'er did you

:twisted: As in Le Tour, two days is a lifetime in SCR terms.

Greg T

I had a moment of terror last night....

The big Millbank Junction - I was first and took pole position hand on the end of the barriers, alongside me comes a guy on a MTB, now this wasn't a CJCP hybrid / MTB / rocket ship this was a proper nobbly tyred sprung forked MTB. The pilot was wearing jeans.

I sneered in my head and adopted my most superior body position I believe the term is louche.

Green

Bam! He's off and spinning like a coked up Bruno Tonioli in a washing machine impression competition. I'm spooling up but he's off through Death Star Canyon a good 30 M ahead of me.

I am sanguine, "when i spool up I will do him ragged" I tell myself

I spool up


nothing


not and inch gained

He's holding me off and I'm borderline bobbing. An icy chill starts to ripple through my body... After all the abuse I gave CJCP (Glad to hear you mojo is back in production by the way) yesterday about getting done all ends up by a granny on a Pogo stick here I am having my arse handed to me by a kid wearing jeans.

But what it this?

Ah! He's blown up in spectacular style - Going Going Gone

His feet once a blur of trainer have slowed to a crawl as the wind takes its toll. He made his play for the title, over cooked it and ended up as road kill.

Now then serial RLJers.

I did the same guy, Roadie, tights Spesh something blue rucksack FIVE times from the embankment all the way to Sheen.

There were occasions when he could only just nudge ahead at lights - and he did.... I'd then do him AGAIN within 10 m of the lights

I think he was doing it on purpose to shit me.

By Sheen I was sick of him and his RLJing cheating I scalped him with such a massive speed differential he must have thought he was in the matrix. Also a dude on a yellow MTB with square chain stays was doing the same trick yesterday and I ran into him again today.

It's starting to get to me.....

attica

Greg T wrote:

It's starting to get to me.....

Just revel in your obvious superiority GT, you are a God amongst mere mortals, all who challenge you end up clutching their dripping scarlet heads wondering, "what happened?"

If I ever need to find you in London, I'll just follow the trail of hair and blood.

Chapeau

Greg T

Attica wrote:

[If I ever need to find you in London, I'll just follow the trail of hair and blood.

The trial is masked by wheel sucking roadies drafting me.......

I did manage to drop one with the sheer power of my awesome last night though!

Ha! You may be tucked in my Bum Bubble closer than a virgin's knees at Rhohypnol convention but I dropped you anyway. Ha!

cjcp

I should mention a roadie I saw this morning on a blue Spesh, with a back pack and Northwave gear going through Parson Green and onto the NKR. Immaculate bike handling, stopped where required, hand signals, the works. And looked fast too. The quality of his riding just stood out a mile amongst the rest of the bike handling on show.

Chapeau, sir.

attica

Greg T wrote:

closer than a virgin's knees at Rhohypnol convention !

$hit, you've got me in the giggle loop now...

...shoulders bouncing...

...all my colleagues want to know what's so funny.

greg66_tri_v2.0

For the last week or so my lower back has felt on occasion about a quarter second away from locking up completely. As I was getting changing last night, I felt a sudden spasm and a "click". Uh-oh, I thought, that's it. I'm screwed.

Au contraire, Blackadder. For only the third time in the last, oooh, 25 years, it spontaneously, suddenly and slightly painfully clicked back into the right position. 8)

Now I took it gently home last night, Just In Case, but this morning confirmed the good news. No difficulties getting out of bed. No putting socks and shoes on with fully stretched arms and fingertips. This is good.

It also means that the Norse-God like hammering along the Embankment could re-commence in earnest. :twisted:

ride_whenever

I have a question for the committee:

I'm currently riding a knobbly front suspension mtb, but it's a singlespeed, and I'm shaving my legs soon. What would my FCN be? Surely not the same as on my fixed gear road bike?

lost_in_thought

Well, I set off home into the wind last night, actually took the cycle path through Shebu due to the nearly insane levels of traffic from the new shopping mall.

As I turned onto the Uxbridge road, or whatever it's called at that point, I saw a lady in front of me on a green trek roadie, literally covered in flashing bands. She probably had about 10 of them on... fun!

Anyway, I followed her through the traffic, then got my scalp on once we were in open road. I'd forgotten to put the computer on, so didn't know how fast I was going, but relatively quick I think, and to give her her due, she did keep catching up before the lights changed, didn't RLJ once, and generally wouldn't let me completely lose her and disappear off into the distance.

I'm not used to worthy competition, especially not from a technicolour lady!

Chapeau!

DonDaddyD

Having been dissappointed with my performances throughout the latter part of September and with what seems/feels like gaining an entire stone during my week holiday in spain. Damn Sangria, Coco Loco, Paella, Tapas, lovely ribs, veal steak and burgers and 12noon pints (x3).

This would be my catharsis:

A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights as you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead.

&

To own a road is to know that on each commute you are the single fastest cyclist on your chosen piece of tarmac.~ Laurence 'DondaddyD' W. Player of the Unspoken Game

There are not many roads I can claim as my own anymore, ‘The Single Speed chase’ and ‘The Allez incident’ (yes I name some of the more memorable battles I have with other cyclists/commuters, I also name my routes as though they were stages in some great cycle race and YES I have an over active imagination, it keeps me young I’m told) have seen my grasp over Clapham Common South side relinquished. Similarly I have had Tooting Bec road, Upper Tooting road, Balham road, Balham hill and Clapham High road torn from my lists of ownership.

I'm not the fastest roadie and I'm not the most skilful cyclist, but by golly the stretch of tarmac known as Norwood road, which wraps itself along one-side of Brockwell Park is still my road and I will cry before I give that one up. I know every bump, every lump and every groove. I know where to hunker down, I know where to pedal and where not to. I know where the road stiffens and smoothes. It is upon this piece of asphalt that I do my speed test. It is long enough for me to ‘max ones absolute’ and hold said wattage for what seems an eternity (actually about 30secs – I’m rubbish I known).

There was nothing of merit on my commute today, nothing. But this doesn’t bother me on the way to work as much as it does the journey back as I have Norwood road to test myself on. ‘Those that sit above’ were kind to me today as I saw the shape of what could be a roadie in the distance, on my road. I sped up and was now able to see his shapely calf’s, which looked shaved, a challenge if ever I saw one. I got closer checked the gearing. SINGLE SPEED! I was so excited at encountering a challenge I could easily loose I nearly celebrated before even starting.

I made my shapes to overtake, he looks behind sees the pain, blood, and anguish and hate within my eyes as my face was all smiles perfectly hiding my discontent. He speeds up. ‘Oh it’s on now’ and I could oh-so-easily-loose, but no! This is my road and I haven’t started to cry yet.

Several turns of the crank I’m ahead, I’m also too afraid to look down at my cycle-computer (which stopped working at some point during this mornings commute) so I can’t say how fast I was going but sound had become a distant concept. I beat the lights I look behind; maybe he wasn’t trying or maybe its all in my head but hands on hips looking forward was the single speed. Me? I pummel the open air ahead.

A true scalp, excelsior!

I’m back and climbing the ladder!

Kieran_Burns

Clever Pun wrote:

Heading towards elmers end last night I saw a roadie in full kit & cap possibly an old boy as I got closer I could see the catford cycle club top... potential prize scalp this.

I continue to gain, his left leg looks shiny and as I'm within distance I realise it's a falsey :shock: The dude is essentially cycling with only one calf potentially one thigh (didn't seen that much) so as I go past I smile say hello and go on my way

so is that a scalp? I didn't want to take it, but he would want me to I'm sure

There's been no rules about lack of limbs

I would have to say that your claim for a scalp wouldn't have a leg to stand on.





I can't believe I just wrote that..... :?

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

It also means that the Norse-God like hammering along the Embankment could re-commence in earnest. :twisted:

Eyes peeled for a feisty young pup on a Boardman Comp...

:twisted:

Greg T

Kieran_Burns wrote:

I would have to say that your claim for a scalp wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

He'll be kicking himself that he let you do him.

DDD you words have great power.

There are two stretches of road that I am very jealous of.

The nice newly laid stretch from Putney Hospital (closed) over the Bolan Death Bridge, ironically enough Queen's Ride and of course the majestic heights of the Col De Putney Bridge.

I refuse point blank to be challenged by anyone on either of these two stretches. Elsewhere if you are the better man then fine - on these - never.

heavymental

What a post DDD. A truly epic account. Almost made me leap up and punch the air like at the end of Escape to Victory.

cjcp

DonDaddyD wrote:

Having been dissappointed with my performances throughout the latter part of September and with what seems/feels like gaining an entire stone during my week holiday in spain. Damn Sangria, Coco Loco, Paella, Tapas, lovely ribs, veal steak and burgers and 12noon pints (x3).

This would be my catharsis:

A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights as you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead.

&

To own a road is to know that on each commute you are the single fastest cyclist on your chosen piece of tarmac.~ Laurence 'DondaddyD' W. Player of the Unspoken Game

There are not many roads I can claim as my own anymore, ‘The Single Speed chase’ and ‘The Allez incident’ (yes I name some of the more memorable battles I have with other cyclists/commuters, I also name my routes as though they were stages in some great cycle race and YES I have an over active imagination, it keeps me young I’m told) have seen my grasp over Clapham Common South side relinquished. Similarly I have had Tooting Bec road, Upper Tooting road, Balham road, Balham hill and Clapham High road torn from my lists of ownership.

I'm not the fastest roadie and I'm not the most skilful cyclist, but by golly the stretch of tarmac known as Norwood road, which wraps itself along one-side of Brockwell Park is still my road and I will cry before I give that one up. I know every bump, every lump and every groove. I know where to hunker down, I know where to pedal and where not to. I know where the road stiffens and smoothes. It is upon this piece of asphalt that I do my speed test. It is long enough for me to ‘max ones absolute’ and hold said wattage for what seems an eternity (actually about 30secs – I’m rubbish I known).

There was nothing of merit on my commute today, nothing. But this doesn’t bother me on the way to work as much as it does the journey back as I have Norwood road to test myself on. ‘Those that sit above’ were kind to me today as I saw the shape of what could be a roadie in the distance, on my road. I sped up and was now able to see his shapely calf’s, which looked shaved, a challenge if ever I saw one. I got closer checked the gearing. SINGLE SPEED! I was so excited at encountering a challenge I could easily loose I nearly celebrated before even starting.

I made my shapes to overtake, he looks behind sees the pain, blood, and anguish and hate within my eyes as my face was all smiles perfectly hiding my discontent. He speeds up. ‘Oh it’s on now’ and I could oh-so-easily-loose, but no! This is my road and I haven’t started to cry yet.

Several turns of the crank I’m ahead, I’m also too afraid to look down at my cycle-computer (which stopped working at some point during this mornings commute) so I can’t say how fast I was going but sound had become a distant concept. I beat the lights I look behind; maybe he wasn’t trying or maybe its all in my head but hands on hips looking forward was the single speed. Me? I pummel the open air ahead.

A true scalp, excelsior!

I’m back and climbing the ladder!

Amen!

DonDaddyD

Heavymental wrote:

What a post DDD. A truly epic account. Almost made me leap up and punch the air like at the end of Escape to Victory.

Thank you all

A big ol'bowl of Alpen, 3 apples and two sandwiches later I'm feeling the after effects now though...

Bassjunkieuk

DonDaddyD wrote:

There are not many roads I can claim as my own anymore, ‘The Single Speed chase’ and ‘The Allez incident’ (yes I name some of the more memorable battles I have with other cyclists/commuters, I also name my routes as though they were stages in some great cycle race and YES I have an over active imagination, it keeps me young I’m told) have seen my grasp over Clapham Common South side relinquished. Similarly I have had Tooting Bec road, Upper Tooting road, Balham road, Balham hill and Clapham High road torn from my lists of ownership.

I'm not the fastest roadie and I'm not the most skilful cyclist, but by golly the stretch of tarmac known as Norwood road, which wraps itself along one-side of Brockwell Park is still my road and I will cry before I give that one up. I know every bump, every lump and every groove. I know where to hunker down, I know where to pedal and where not to. I know where the road stiffens and smoothes. It is upon this piece of asphalt that I do my speed test. It is long enough for me to ‘max ones absolute’ and hold said wattage for what seems an eternity (actually about 30secs – I’m rubbish I known).

Hmm, now I'm sure I could incorporate that road into my commute somehow, what time you leave :twisted: Don't worry tho, I doubt I'll be up in London for at least another week or two so your safe for the moment!

Excellent post tho, knowing that road as I have driven and I think even ridden down it a few times it is a good stretch! I head towards it whenever heading up via Brixton, but usually go over Tulse Hill and then enjoy the run down the other side, dodging the speed humps and scalping cars :-)

DonDaddyD

I don't want to build any expectations when/if you all ever meet me. My names not a Greg I'm not a Lawyer and therefore I do not strip the innocent of their hair and top half of their skulls. :shock:

I do have good and bad days.

There are days where and for no reason I find I simply have no power and it is the most infuriating thing ever. Its not that I've maxed out its not that I feel there isn't more to give its just that I can't find a way to put it down.

Freewheel was like this. Well the journey back after I started wipping out kids. Along Tooting Bec road cycling back with Bassjunkie I just couldn't keep up. I was ashamed of myself.

The main reason fro typing all this is that I'm comtemplating using my lunchbreak to drop my handle bars to its lowest position and slightly raising the seat, tweaking the postion of the handlebars as well so I have complete grip of the drops in an effort to get more speed.... I may also leave my coat and my jumper (work) at work and ride back with a lighter backpack so that I'm in good form for the scalps on the journey back...

The suns out..... and I'm bored.

DiggingDeeper

Having stood up and put my name forward for consideration as a player late last night it is only proper that I forward my account of the day. However, clarification from seasoned professionals is required on several points.

The morning got off to an early start with a fast hybrid (flat bar full on coloured wheel racer IMO[see note 1]) RLJing at the Mount from the right. Not a point for me but ....you just have to. 2 miles later including the death race around the crooked Billet on the North Circ, chummy is dropped (be still my beating heart[exhaustion & concern]). Camden Road/Archway intersection presented a fixie (Fakenger - should have spotted it immediately) RLJing the A1....hello! Game On. Not. My 6 year could have done hm on her 11" Popstars bike.

So no real tale of daring do to report really, however note to self (and anyone running the Camden Road into Camden) look out for the builder on the knobbly MTB (proper rust bucket) shorts any rugby league geezer would be proud of, string vest and grip bag worn ruck sack style, and Dr Martins I believe (not totally sure of this). Whilst stuck at pelican lights behind a taxi, aforemention herbert screams past on the wrong side of the traffic island, judged amber to almost perfection and is going away from me. +2 points for being almost naked this could have been a 'kin disaster if he was 3 seconds later. I'm claiming red light immunity on this. Got off after this criminal[see note 2] who did an immediate bunk off left as I began to catch him up.....Never again!

[1] Do flat bars instantly turn a racer into a hybrid or do I need to get my a*se down to Evans and do some proppa research into makes and model?
[2] How fast can you get after someone without it being unseemly haste?

il_principe

DonDaddyD wrote:

I don't want to build any expectations when/if you all ever meet me. My names not a Greg I'm not a Lawyer and therefore strip the innocent t of their hair and top half of their skulls. :shock:

I do have good and bad days.

There are days where and for no reason I find I simply have no power and it is the most infuriating thing ever. Its not that I've maxed out its not that I feel there isn't more to give its just that I can't find a way to put it down.

Freewheel was like this. Well the journey back after I started wipping out kids. Along Tooting Bec road cycling back with Bassjunkie I just couldn't keep up. I was ashamed of myself.

The main reason fro typing all this is that I'm comtemplating using my lunchbreak to drop my handle bars to its lowest position and slightly raising the seat, tweaking the postion of the handlebars as well so I have complete grip of the drops in an effort to get more speed.... I may also leave my coat and my jumper (work) at work and ride back with a lighter backpack so that I'm in good form for the scalps on the journey back...

The suns out..... and I'm bored.

Haha modifications at lunchtime, contemplating weight savings... you my friend, have the BUG.

Prepare to wave goodbye to your financial liquidity.

il_principe

DiggingDeeper wrote:

[1] Do flat bars instantly turn a racer into a hybrid or do I need to get my a*se down to Evans and do some proppa research into makes and model?

They do in my book. Horrible things. *Mutters.

[2] How fast can you get after someone without it being unseemly haste?

As fast as you like as long as you appear nonchalant.

cjcp

jashburnham wrote:

DiggingDeeper wrote:

[1] Do flat bars instantly turn a racer into a hybrid or do I need to get my a*se down to Evans and do some proppa research into makes and model?

They do in my book. Horrible things. *Mutters.

[2] How fast can you get after someone without it being unseemly haste?

As fast as you like as long as you appear nonchalant.

Agreed.

And welcome!

Greg T

DiggingDeeper wrote:

[1] Do flat bars instantly turn a racer into a hybrid or do I need to get my a*se down to Evans and do some proppa research into makes and model?
[2] How fast can you get after someone without it being unseemly haste?

Well done and welcome DD...

I'd say this about your queries.

(1) No self respecting roadie would ever put flat bars on their road bike... so ergo flat bars = hybrid. Now (applying broad brush generalisation and stereotyping with abandon) most people who buy hybrids "should" have bought road bikes * so you can get some tasty hybrid riders who you need to have an eye for. Those sneaky feckers can have you cold, before you know what's going on they turn off at the next junction leaving you hatless and pissedb off.


* blah blah blah seat position blah blah saddle height blah blah blah braking distance bla blah blah - stop it - listen you just bought the wrong bike


(2) Catching up can be as obvious as you like so long as whenyou go by you are in control, reading a book, having a yawn etc etc. The only exception to this is if you've got an audience behind then you have the double challenge of pushing out the wattage whilst maintaining your form.... This can be tricky but very rewarding.

Don't forget the first rule - play safe

DonDaddyD

DiggingDeeper wrote:

[1] Do flat bars instantly turn a racer into a hybrid or do I need to get my a*se down to Evans and do some proppa research into makes and model?

I feel safe in answering this. Yes if I put a flat bar on my SCR it would be a hybrid. Even if I managed somehow to retain the shifters, gearing and mechs it would be a hybrid. Please note: I like to identify hybrids as having roadie big 700c wheels and road bike geometry as opposed to a slick tyre mountain bikes (often mistaken for a hybrid *ahem*).

Examples:

Road Bike
Hybrid
Slicked tyred mountain bike

There are however, grey areas such as:
Slicked-up commuters with carbon bits and roadie bits to go fasters

Slicked tyred Mountain bikes with 700c wheels for added distance-speed

In my opinion the above are not true hybrids (road bikes with flat handlebars) but make for tasty scalpings as they offer different types of challenges (the top bike Giant CRS Alliance with tiagra £750 is actually pretty darn fast for a suped-up shopping trolley).

In terms of the Game: True hybrids can be damn fast but I would never willingly allow one to overtake me and stay ahead of me. Certainly not without trying or unless a Greg-lawyer had to ride one for the day, but then I'd suspect any Greg-Lawyer (honestly there is like 20 on this site alone) didn't become a lawyer to ride hybrids. - I digress

Hybrids are at best a good sparring partners but never challenegers or the actual opponent proper. There is a food-chain, a hierarchy and the circle of life must be obeyed! (Don't even say it Snooks).

Road bikes are a pedigree to which, one of the qualifiers is that they must have drop handle bars. IMO. The other qualifier is road bike specific shifters.

Flat bar single speeds I feel are exempt from the hybrid classification. Or should have a classification unto themselves such as single speed hybrid or 'ponce's bike'.

lost_in_thought

Taking the drop bars off a roadie is like castrating a stallion.

Turns it into something weak and boring, which can't do what it wants to any more.

Flat bar ss bikes are almost universally muppet-mobiles.

Bassjunkieuk

DDD, drop the bars! As we discussed on the way to the FW I just found it didn't seem right with em so high and it only lasted about 30 seconds before I doubled back on myself and lowered em after my first ride on it back in December!

As for leaving bits at work that should be a no brainer! If you a) don't need it at home and b) it doesn't need a wash before you wear it the following day, leave it there! Unless of course you have very nice clothing that is likely to be removed by the less then honest cleaners :-)

DD (this is gonna get tricky now with shortened names!) - As has been said flat bars so make it a hybrid, I do believe ITB had one of those f**king fast hybrids however I don't think he was running 25C tyres - ITB feel free to correct me if needed!

The easiest way to play the game is to see ANY cyclist ahead of you as a target, hunt them down and then decide if it's a scalp as you fly past - as DDD said part of the game is in knowing that you are the fastest cyclist on your route!