Your rants here.

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

Veronese68 wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

FFS.

Get a flury of interviews just when I have a Hitler silver-nitrate stain on my top lip.

NOT aumused.

Sorry, but that did make me chuckle.
Interviews for you to get something better? If so, good luck.

Yeah. In theory!

Well, it's something to start the conversation. Good luck.

Mr Sworld

Rick Chasey wrote:

FFS.

Get a flury of interviews just when I have a Hitler silver-nitrate stain on my top lip.

NOT aumused.

Ok... I'll bite....

Why have you got Silver Nitrate on your top lip? Curing warts?

rick_chasey

Mr Sworld wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

FFS.

Get a flury of interviews just when I have a Hitler silver-nitrate stain on my top lip.

NOT aumused.

Ok... I'll bite....

Why have you got Silver Nitrate on your top lip? Curing warts?

Nose cauterised. I told the doctor I had a runny nose - he said it'd be fine. It wouldn't leak. Puh!

The aim was to get rid of the old - blood round the mouth/smeered on cheek look whilst commuting.

At least that looked a little hard (potentially - at a glance anyway).

Now I just look a bit like I want to be hitler.

Kieran_Burns

Rick Chasey wrote:

Mr Sworld wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

FFS.

Get a flury of interviews just when I have a Hitler silver-nitrate stain on my top lip.

NOT aumused.

Ok... I'll bite....

Why have you got Silver Nitrate on your top lip? Curing warts?

Nose cauterised. I told the doctor I had a runny nose - he said it'd be fine. It wouldn't leak. Puh!

The aim was to get rid of the old - blood round the mouth/smeered on cheek look whilst commuting.

At least that looked a little hard (potentially - at a glance anyway).

Now I just look a bit like I want to be hitler.

When they did you find the place okay - tell 'em you got lost just outside of Stalingrad
If they ask why you want the job - tell 'em: lebensraum

rick_chasey

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Mr Sworld wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

FFS.

Get a flury of interviews just when I have a Hitler silver-nitrate stain on my top lip.

NOT aumused.

Ok... I'll bite....

Why have you got Silver Nitrate on your top lip? Curing warts?

Nose cauterised. I told the doctor I had a runny nose - he said it'd be fine. It wouldn't leak. Puh!

The aim was to get rid of the old - blood round the mouth/smeered on cheek look whilst commuting.

At least that looked a little hard (potentially - at a glance anyway).

Now I just look a bit like I want to be hitler.

When they did you find the place okay - tell 'em you got lost just outside of Stalingrad
If they ask why you want the job - tell 'em: lebensraum

veronese68

So after taking the Mrs away last weekend I now have to pay for it. Working Saturday and Sunday at a show. So I'll be standing in a draughty cowshed in Warwickshire answering silly questions and trying to turn a profit.

Specialized Needs

Rick Chasey wrote:

Mr Sworld wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

FFS.

Get a flury of interviews just when I have a Hitler silver-nitrate stain on my top lip.

NOT aumused.

Ok... I'll bite....

Why have you got Silver Nitrate on your top lip? Curing warts?

Nose cauterised. I told the doctor I had a runny nose - he said it'd be fine. It wouldn't leak. Puh!

The aim was to get rid of the old - blood round the mouth/smeered on cheek look whilst commuting.

At least that looked a little hard (potentially - at a glance anyway).

Now I just look a bit like I want to be hitler.

How about getting some extra silver nitrate and painting in a Graham Gooch


or a Merv Hughes?

suzyb

My damn gears are jumping like they're at a rave. Even though I just "fixed" them a week ago.

nich

Anyone else noticed a change in drivers behaviour since it's got a bit lighter in the mornings/evenings. Seem to be driving a lot closer to me than usual.

I've had about 10 near death experiences this week alone, and 5 of those were today.

Stressed me out to be honest and I spent the rest of the journey home rather anxious thinking I was about to be knocked off.

jonny_trousers

I mostly work in a pretty enclosed space with four other colleagues only (I'm there right now) and the bloke opposite me has always been an over opinionated, hateful, tw@ with a massive chip on his shoulder (sadly he can actually be incredibly witty when he wants to be). Tonight I get into work wearing my cycling gear as normal and he greets me with "Bloody cyclists, you're all a nuisance," but at least he's smiling. I ask him what's up and he goes on to tell me how he had to stop in an ASL because a scooter suddenly cut him up (not convinced that's the truth, but anyway...) when a cyclist pulls up next to him and taps on his window to tell him off. In the interests of pacification I tell him that some cyclists can be a bit busy bodyish, to which he replies, "No, they're all the same, shouldn't be allowed on the road!" I ask him if he realised he was saying this to a cyclist and one who considers himself to ride fairly safely and considerately and he said, "I don't care, they're all c*nts and I've had it with them, shouldn't be allowed on the road." I offered him a polite, "F*ck you then," and walked off.

Well at least it has helped me decide that I don't want him and his negativity anywhere near my wedding later in the year when I had thought I would simply have to invite him as the other three in my room will be coming.

bails87

There are four bolts holding the two cleats in place on my 'few' month old Specialized Defrosters.

Three of them spin uselessly in the threads. :roll:

rolf_f

More a lol than a rant. Some bint cruising slowly along in a BIG (Mini) - in left of two lanes. Right lane clogged (probably she wants to find a non existant gap). Taxi behind is, for some reason, following her but to the left, completely blocking the otherwise clear cycle lane. So, I move out, pass the taxi and cut neatly back into the cycle lane and get hooted at. You'd think he could have worked it out pretty easily. Maybe he was annoyed with the BIG. Actually, maybe he hooted her - I never saw him again as the traffic was too slow for cars.

suzyb

BIG???

cyclingprop

Rolf F wrote:

BIG (Mini)

Erm... you'll get yourself a reputation talking like that.

mcj78

Moday morning ball-bag experience... usually I just brush it off, however the ballbag in question was of the "holier than thou" type, whilst being completely wrong which got me annoyed...

Cylcling down 50m of busy narrow rd. towards a small roundabout, at wich I am turning right - naturally I sit in the middle of the lane to deter anyone from overtaking as there's always cars parked on both sides + loads of cars going both ways & really no space to do so, gets to roundabout, positions myself in the right hand lane (at this point it's widened to 2 proper lanes) & the f*cking ballbag who has been "stuck" behind me doing 25mph for 50m or so decides i'm not allowed in the right lane & moves into the left lane then starts trying to edge in front of me as I wait to turn right - then, presummably as I didn't move out of his way he starts blasting his horn at me - at this pont I get annoyed & start impolitely enquiring what the f*ck he is up to, he winds his window down, informs me that he is a "biker" & that i'm "riding like a knob" cue :evil: & I suggest a few other verbs that end in "er" to supplement his "biker" tag, ballbag tears off roud the roundabout & speeds off into the distance in his handsome metallic pink Citroen people carrier, his terrible jaw-length sideburns flapping in the breeze... why get annoyed I hear you ask - probably down to the fact he could see nothing wrong with his conduct... possibly that this obvious ballbag of a person, who referred to himself as a "biker" in a holier than thou fashion had decided I was somehow less of a cyclist than he, as he cut me up in a pink people carrier & on the nicest sunny morning the South Side of Glasgow has seen this year too... and relax.

suzyb

He was probably bulling you as an effect of being bullied himself for driving a pink people carrier in Glasgow.

nation

I hate that thing where people try to edge round on your left at roundabouts. I had a Transit try that the other day.

It's a pain in the arse because all it means is you have to check the traffic from your right is clear, and that the twit on your left hasn't moved off, before you can pull on to the roundabout, thus slowing everybody down.

Said Transit then nearly went into the car that had pulled away from the adjacent lane, trying to change lanes on the roundabout itself.

mudcow007

Riding home on Friday Here there are 3 of us, im in the front an the other 2 are side by side travelling down this road (20mph speed limit)

there are cars behind us, but we are doing about 18mph so not going slow or anything - next minute a Vauxhall Zafira over takes us all slams on an pulls into a lay by.

the driver looks over to me an mouth "what was the point?!" to which he started honking his horn so i stop an walk over to him an ask him "what's the matter?"

moron response was "why were you 'effing an blinding at me"

my response was "all i said was what was the point of that"

moron "i use to ride bikes an we never rode two abreast as its illegal"

me "you better check your highway code then"

moron &^%*£%$££$("...now p$$ off

Me "charming"

to me the driver was the kind to rant an rave at someone not expecting them to respond, he did seem quite sheepish when i asked him whats the matter

rick_chasey

To the driver who didn't notice touching my rear wheel with his car going up dark hill:

I hope the small victory of passing a cyclist going uphill in a car was the lift you needed in an otherwise deeply depressing, hollow, shallow, suicidal life you experience on a daily basis. Presumably your right foot was shaking about so much because you've gotten piles from scratching and sniffing your own arsehole so much, given that that's the only way to temporarily distract you from how horrible you really are.

sketchley

nation wrote:

I hate that thing where people try to edge round on your left at roundabouts. I had a Transit try that the other day.

It's a pain in the ars* because all it means is you have to check the traffic from your right is clear, and that the twit on your left hasn't moved off, before you can pull on to the roundabout, thus slowing everybody down.

Said Transit then nearly went into the car that had pulled away from the adjacent lane, trying to change lanes on the roundabout itself.

+1 on this. Had a few near misses at Elephant and Castle recently with people undertaking on the left. You have to ride "double primary" there when turning right on to the A2 at the northern roundabout. If you position yourself to far in the right hand lane a car or van will undertake from the middle lane, if you are too far left in the middle lane a car will attempt to turn left toward London bridge from the right hand lane. The trick I've found is to start right to prevent the left hook, then drift left to prevent the undertake. You also have to be careful not to go too far left though or the cars and buses entering the roundabout from London Bridge pull out in front of you. The amount of drivers that see they are doing no wrong defies belief but I can understand why E&C is viewed as one of the worse places in London to ride a bike round.

Paul E

I had a lovely bus driver going up shooters hill road last night think it was clever to start pulling out as I has well over half way up the bus and not going slowly and as I got level with the cab he put his foot down even more but not enough to stop me going past, he then honks his horn and goes around me, not noticing the central crossing reservation things that are all the way up that road so he has to cut in, narrowly missing me as I had to brake sharpish to avoid being side swiped into the kerb.

It wasn't worth it as he had to stop 10 seconds later.

mcj78

I was pretty close to just saying "f*ck it" & booting a big dent in his door with the lovely metal-tipped studs that came on my MTB shoes just to be a coque, but then if someone did that to me i'd probably run them over... deep breaths, bigger man & all that jazz...

Seen someone cut up a courier turning right at a junction (ie overtook on the wrong side of the road & cut in) once in Glasgow city centre in a pimped out Golf Gti, unfortunately they turned right into gridlocked traffic & as the courier caught up, without breaking his rhythm he smacked a big dent in the bonnet with his lock or something & kept on spinning - was pretty impressive handling tbh

MonkeyMonster

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Well at least it has helped me decide that I don't want him and his negativity anywhere near my wedding later in the year when I had thought I would simply have to invite him as the other three in my room will be coming.

Done and done. Please inform of us how the reaction proceeds when he realises this

veronese68

Girl at work invited the whole building to her leaving bash, except for one bloke that fancied himself as a bit of a ladies man. When he told her she appeared to have forgotten him she told him she hadn't she just thought he was a complete tool. He was rather quiet for the rest of that day.

rjsterry

Gentlemen of Old Street Roundabout: on purchasing your foamed-milk-topped coffees from one of the many establishments in the vicinity, when there is a 25mph wind swirling round the buildings, please do not remove the lid of your cup until you are safely indoors. Not only will you lose the top off your cappuccino, but I will gain a shower of foamed-milk droplets. Thank you.

EKE_38BPM

Veronese68 wrote:

Girl at work invited the whole building to her leaving bash, except for one bloke that fancied himself as a bit of a ladies man. When he told her she appeared to have forgotten him she told him she hadn't she just thought he was a complete tool. He was rather quiet for the rest of that day.

How is this a rant? Unless that bloke was you?

Did she call him a King Dick?

sketchley

Veronese68 wrote:

Girl at work invited the whole building to her leaving bash, except for one bloke that fancied himself as a bit of a ladies man. When he told her she appeared to have forgotten him she told him she hadn't she just thought he was a complete tool. He was rather quiet for the rest of that day.

That's not really a rant, unless you're the bloke that is......

Edit: EKE beat me to it.....

bails87

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Veronese68 wrote:

Girl at work invited the whole building to her leaving bash, except for one bloke that fancied himself as a bit of a ladies man. When he told her she appeared to have forgotten him she told him she hadn't she just thought he was a complete tool. He was rather quiet for the rest of that day.

How is this a rant? Unless that bloke was you?

Did she call him a King Dick?

I think that was related to Jonny_Trousers' rant above.

EKE_38BPM

bails87 wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Veronese68 wrote:

Girl at work invited the whole building to her leaving bash, except for one bloke that fancied himself as a bit of a ladies man. When he told her she appeared to have forgotten him she told him she hadn't she just thought he was a complete tool. He was rather quiet for the rest of that day.

How is this a rant? Unless that bloke was you?

Did she call him a King Dick?

I think that was related to Jonny_Trousers' rant above.

That makes sense.

mudcow007

Veronese68 wrote:

Girl at work invited the whole building to her leaving bash, except for one bloke that fancied himself as a bit of a ladies man. When he told her she appeared to have forgotten him she told him she hadn't she just thought he was a complete tool. He was rather quiet for the rest of that day.

ha, that's brilliant

ahh unless it was you...was it you dude? its ok you can tell us