Seemingly trivial things that annoy you

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Comments

  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,119
    Biggest annoyance is that because of them, I always assume that any real call from my actual phone company is a scam.
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    I got one of them to say "shut up" before hanging up the phone, but then I worried about retribution, so the joy was shortlived. FWIW I told them to get a real job.

    Happy to take suggestions for things to say down the phone to them. I've taken a very noisy p!ss on speakerphone, I've pretended to pass them on to the rozzers, but no reaction beyond them hanging up.
    _
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 27,307
    rick_chasey said:

    I got one of them to say "shut up" before hanging up the phone, but then I worried about retribution, so the joy was shortlived. FWIW I told them to get a real job.

    Happy to take suggestions for things to say down the phone to them. I've taken a very noisy p!ss on speakerphone, I've pretended to pass them on to the rozzers, but no reaction beyond them hanging up.

    Tbh, I just put the phone down without hanging up, walk way, and leave them to it.
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,119
    rick_chasey said:

    I got one of them to say "shut up" before hanging up the phone, but then I worried about retribution, so the joy was shortlived. FWIW I told them to get a real job.

    Happy to take suggestions for things to say down the phone to them. I've taken a very noisy p!ss on speakerphone, I've pretended to pass them on to the rozzers, but no reaction beyond them hanging up.

    If they say they are from Microsoft and that there is a problem with the computer, I keep asking them which one there is a problem with, because we have multiple computers.

    If they claim to be from the phone company, I just keep asking them to give me some of the details they would definitely know to confirm their identity.

    I just enjoy knocking them off their script.
  • secretsqirrel
    secretsqirrel Posts: 2,119
    I just lie to them as they are lying to me…..

    -nobody of that name here
    -I haven’t got internet
    -I don’t have a bank account

    They usually get frustrated and hang up.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,119
    Yes, maybe I'll try "what's the internet?" next time.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    secretsqirrel said:

    I just lie to them as they are lying to me…..

    -nobody of that name here
    -I haven’t got internet
    -I don’t have a bank account

    They usually get frustrated and hang up.

    Tell them you don't have a phone next time.
  • secretsqirrel
    secretsqirrel Posts: 2,119
    Pross said:

    secretsqirrel said:

    I just lie to them as they are lying to me…..

    -nobody of that name here
    -I haven’t got internet
    -I don’t have a bank account

    They usually get frustrated and hang up.

    Tell them you don't have a phone next time.
    Ha! I’ll add that to the list, but it is important not to make yourself sound vulnerable. That will only tick their repulsive little box.
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    August is slloooooooooooooow
    _
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    If anyone says to you "I like to tell the truth" or words to that effect; massive red flag.
    _
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    rick_chasey said:

    If anyone says to you "I like to tell the truth" or words to that effect; massive red flag.

    As I've said on here previously most people who say something like "I like to tell it as it is" are the biggest snowflakes of the lot when they are on the receiving end of someone else telling it as it is.
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 27,307
    Was silent during a discussion today with people moaning about how hard it is to emigrate once you are older, quickly followed up by a moan about immigrants.
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • briantrumpet
    briantrumpet Posts: 20,317
    rick_chasey said:

    August is slloooooooooooooow


    Enjoy the feeling of a month feeling slow while you're still relatively young. If you're lucky enough to double your age (or more), you'll realise that all those clichés about how time goes faster as you get older are totally true... scarily so. It's like you're enjoying a nice descent on the bike and you just get faster and faster, and you now that at the end you're going to be catapulted into oblivion, as you've got no brakes.

    Oh, sorry, I was going to suggest you cheer up.
    https://www.facebook.com/unanglaisendiois
  • pangolin
    pangolin Posts: 6,648
    rick_chasey said:

    I got one of them to say "shut up" before hanging up the phone, but then I worried about retribution, so the joy was shortlived. FWIW I told them to get a real job.

    Happy to take suggestions for things to say down the phone to them. I've taken a very noisy p!ss on speakerphone, I've pretended to pass them on to the rozzers, but no reaction beyond them hanging up.

    Rick you are one of the few people in a position to help them find that real job. See it as a challenge.
    - Genesis Croix de Fer
    - Dolan Tuono
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,301
    Back to the scam calls: you can always talk about Cricket.
    Ask them who they think was the best - Sachin Tendulkar or Steve Waugh?

    "... and do you remember Yuvraj Singh, wasn't he great?"
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,495
    Parking apps. It seems that every car park has a different app!
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,137
    pinno said:

    Back to the scam calls: you can always talk about Cricket.
    Ask them who they think was the best - Sachin Tendulkar or Steve Waugh?

    "... and do you remember Yuvraj Singh, wasn't he great?"

    You have too much time on your hands. Pressing the red symbol on the phone takes less time.

    There's literally no point asking to be taken off calling lists, or blocking specific numbers.

    So either just hang up, or do this:

  • briantrumpet
    briantrumpet Posts: 20,317
    First.Aspect said:

    pinno said:

    Back to the scam calls: you can always talk about Cricket.
    Ask them who they think was the best - Sachin Tendulkar or Steve Waugh?

    "... and do you remember Yuvraj Singh, wasn't he great?"

    You have too much time on your hands. Pressing the red symbol on the phone takes less time.

    There's literally no point asking to be taken off calling lists, or blocking specific numbers.

    So either just hang up, or do this:


    Quite. Two seconds' silence and the phone goes down Talktalk have an easy enough blocking system, as a follow-up.
    https://www.facebook.com/unanglaisendiois
  • photonic69
    photonic69 Posts: 2,783
    "Thanks for reaching out to me.." as an email auto-reply. It really boils my piss.

    If I was 'reaching out to you' pal, it would be to thrust my fist down your fecking throat to pull your intestines out past your fecking tonsils, you sanctimonious tw&t.

    Grrr.


    Sometimes. Maybe. Possibly.

  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,137
    photonic69 said:

    "Thanks for reaching out to me.." as an email auto-reply. It really boils my piss.

    If I was 'reaching out to you' pal, it would be to thrust my fist down your fecking throat to pull your intestines out past your fecking tonsils, you sanctimonious tw&t.

    Grrr.

    What would you say?

    "I'm away. You'll need to wait until I'm back, because no one is co ering my work. If this is urgent, you will need to figure it out yourself."
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    First.Aspect said:

    photonic69 said:

    "Thanks for reaching out to me.." as an email auto-reply. It really boils my piss.

    If I was 'reaching out to you' pal, it would be to thrust my fist down your fecking throat to pull your intestines out past your fecking tonsils, you sanctimonious tw&t.

    Grrr.

    What would you say?

    "I'm away. You'll need to wait until I'm back, because no one is co ering my work. If this is urgent, you will need to figure it out yourself."
    “I am off on annual leave until x

    If you require urgent assistance please text me on +447xxxxxxxxx”

    Is my standard
    _
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,137
    rick_chasey said:

    First.Aspect said:

    photonic69 said:

    "Thanks for reaching out to me.." as an email auto-reply. It really boils my piss.

    If I was 'reaching out to you' pal, it would be to thrust my fist down your fecking throat to pull your intestines out past your fecking tonsils, you sanctimonious tw&t.

    Grrr.

    What would you say?

    "I'm away. You'll need to wait until I'm back, because no one is co ering my work. If this is urgent, you will need to figure it out yourself."
    “I am off on annual leave until x

    If you require urgent assistance please text me on +447xxxxxxxxx”

    Is my standard
    I have my mobile in the email footer and I hope no one spots it.
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,137
    I don't see the problem with "thank you for your email"

    Thanks for reaching out is just a cringeworthy trendier version.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,119
    I'm not saying thank you for an email without having read it. Could be dogshit.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    rick_chasey said:

    First.Aspect said:

    photonic69 said:

    "Thanks for reaching out to me.." as an email auto-reply. It really boils my piss.

    If I was 'reaching out to you' pal, it would be to thrust my fist down your fecking throat to pull your intestines out past your fecking tonsils, you sanctimonious tw&t.

    Grrr.

    What would you say?

    "I'm away. You'll need to wait until I'm back, because no one is co ering my work. If this is urgent, you will need to figure it out yourself."
    “I am off on annual leave until x

    If you require urgent assistance please text me on +447xxxxxxxxx”

    Is my standard
    I do similar but point them to the office number if they require 'urgent' assistance as I can guarantee the people I deal with have a different definition of what is urgent enough to disturb my holiday.
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,137
    kingstongraham said:

    I'm not saying thank you for an email without having read it. Could be dogshit.

    I will take the risk of inadvertently thanking someone I don't want to hear from, in order to ensure I thank the rest.
  • photonic69
    photonic69 Posts: 2,783
    rick_chasey said:

    First.Aspect said:

    photonic69 said:

    "Thanks for reaching out to me.." as an email auto-reply. It really boils my piss.

    If I was 'reaching out to you' pal, it would be to thrust my fist down your fecking throat to pull your intestines out past your fecking tonsils, you sanctimonious tw&t.

    Grrr.

    What would you say?

    "I'm away. You'll need to wait until I'm back, because no one is co ering my work. If this is urgent, you will need to figure it out yourself."
    “I am off on annual leave until x

    If you require urgent assistance please text me on +447xxxxxxxxx”

    Is my standard

    You are on leave ffs. Why should they be bothering you and why indeed would you answer a work email or text whilst on leave?

    My standard is:
    “I am off on annual leave until x I will reply to your enquiry on my return.

    If you require urgent assistance please contact X (my manager)"

    As my manager is off too this week and I'm on hols I just left the second line out.


    Sometimes. Maybe. Possibly.

  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,119
    I just put "I am away from x to x" they can work the rest out.

    Most important function of it now is that is stops most internal emails coming at all because Outlook tells you that there's an automated response. If it's urgent they don't even send me the email.
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    photonic69 said:

    rick_chasey said:

    First.Aspect said:

    photonic69 said:

    "Thanks for reaching out to me.." as an email auto-reply. It really boils my piss.

    If I was 'reaching out to you' pal, it would be to thrust my fist down your fecking throat to pull your intestines out past your fecking tonsils, you sanctimonious tw&t.

    Grrr.

    What would you say?

    "I'm away. You'll need to wait until I'm back, because no one is co ering my work. If this is urgent, you will need to figure it out yourself."
    “I am off on annual leave until x

    If you require urgent assistance please text me on +447xxxxxxxxx”

    Is my standard

    You are on leave ffs. Why should they be bothering you and why indeed would you answer a work email or text whilst on leave?

    My standard is:
    “I am off on annual leave until x I will reply to your enquiry on my return.

    If you require urgent assistance please contact X (my manager)"

    As my manager is off too this week and I'm on hols I just left the second line out.

    Because I set up my little business within my firm and it’s all down to me.

    If I don’t do it, no one does.

    That’s fine but for example this morning I got an enquiry which could double my year this morning. She texted, I answered; win win.
    _
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,137
    I should clarify that I have a less friendly and grateful OoO message for emails originating from my own organisation. They can just fuck right off until I'm back.

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