Classic

joelsim

One of my mates has just come out.

I've known him about 10 years and he's always been known as 'Not gay Ben' as he's camper than Christmas, but hails from the church family-wise which sounds very difficult.

Now he's obviously known as 'Gay Ben' - he's not actually, but I wanted to get a gag in.

Anyway, on the whole I don't mind gay people as long as they don't ram it down my throat.

Stone Glider

When I was younger I had little understanding of 'gay' issues, or 'queer' in those days. I never noticed and had a blindness which has remained, in part, to this day. This may not be a source of congratulation, rather an indication of my self-absorption.

Live and let live, just do not pretend that being gay is easy in many parts of the world and sectors of this country. Change has come but it is fraut with difficulties. One wants the best for your children and hope to give the shelter and support they need.

I have never understood homophobia, why young men, usually, froth at the mouth at the thought of other people's sexual practices misses any frame of logic I have ever devised.

joelsim

Stone Glider wrote:

I have never understood homophobia, why young men, usually, froth at the mouth at the thought of other people's sexual practices misses any frame of logic I have ever devised.

+1

Anonymous

My Brother's boss is gay, very camp, and doesn't care who knows it (the campness, not gayness).

He proposed to his boyfriend in a nice bar/pub or something at new year after a very romantic reunion (they had been apart for a while, he thought the other guy had died in 9/11 but got back in touch etc), and as they were walking out, a rather large, gruff, burly bloke tapped him on the shoulder and said

"OY! You! You just ruined my bloody new year"

Pretty much brown trouser time for the recently engaged couple....

"I'm gonna have to propose to 'im over there now, ain't I"

ha

ddraver

Joelsim wrote:

Stone Glider wrote:

I have never understood homophobia, why young men, usually, froth at the mouth at the thought of other people's sexual practices misses any frame of logic I have ever devised.

+1

Same as all prejudices....fear and ignorance!

First.Aspect

coriordan wrote:

My Brother's boss is gay, very camp, and doesn't care who knows it (the campness, not gayness).

He proposed to his boyfriend in a nice bar/pub or something at new year after a very romantic reunion (they had been apart for a while, he thought the other guy had died in 9/11 but got back in touch etc), and as they were walking out, a rather large, gruff, burly bloke tapped him on the shoulder and said

"OY! You! You just ruined my bloody new year"

Pretty much brown trouser time for the recently engaged couple....

"I'm gonna have to propose to 'im over there now, ain't I"

ha

I know exactly how the big gruff bloke feels. I was totally gutted when I found out that Victoria Pendleton was engaged, for example.

DonDaddyD

Headhuunter wrote:

Veronese68 wrote:

I wondered how I'd react if it were the case. I think that they're happiness is obviously the most important thing. Sorry to say but I think I would feel a bit strange about it. Not angry, uncomfortable.
At work a while back a colleague and I were looking over at the building opposite as there were lots of lovely young ladies in and out of there. A bloke was unloading a Suzuki Vitara. I said "what self respecting bloke would drive one of them?" the chap I was with told me both of his sons owned one. I tried to extract my foot from my mouth. He told me not to worry one was the wife's car, but the other was gay. I back pedalled furiously and told him I didn't mean anything by it. He told me not to worry as he had done far worse. His son came out in the middle of an argument just after he had uttered the words "what's the matter with you? Are you gay or something?" he wasn't expecting the answer he got and was utterly mortified. He said it was a long time before his son would talk to him again. He obviously loves his son wants him to be happy more than anything else. He said it is no longer an issue but that moment took a long time to recover from.

Uncomfortable is an unusual response! I perhaps get anger or disappointment but discomfort is a weird one!

Nope, uncomfortable is how I would probably feel in the first instance.

Why? A variety of reasons. And don't get me wrong, I ain't exactly proud of these feelings I'm just being honest.

EKE_38BPM

Blimey, you page one gay guy to the thread and it goes all Vauxhall!

Oh yeah HH, to continue my sporting analogy, in snooker terms, I'm much more into potting the easy pink than the difficult brown, so thanks for the offer of the night out, but I'm out.




Or rather I'm in. Well, not in, just not interested.

You know what I'm mean.

Headhuunter

Joelsim wrote:

clarkey cat wrote:

My Dad thought I was gay and then when my brother told him I'd popped my cherry (with a girl) he was so chuffed he took me to Matalan and bought me some new clothes.

[said in an Arthur Mullard accent]
It's probably that pink Rapha bag fella

See that's a very honest response I think.... Wonder if your son is gay and when you find out he's not get all excited... People think they wouldn't mind if their kids were gay but when it comes down to it and they reveal they're not, they get a trip to Matalan... I want my trip to Matalan.... <sulk>....

Headhuunter

Joelsim wrote:

One of my mates has just come out.

I've known him about 10 years and he's always been known as 'Not gay Ben' as he's camper than Christmas, but hails from the church family-wise which sounds very difficult.

Now he's obviously known as 'Gay Ben' - he's not actually, but I wanted to get a gag in.

Anyway, on the whole I don't mind gay people as long as they don't ram it down my throat.

I've known 3 or 4 guys over the years who come across as camper than Brownsea Island but they claim they aren't and indeed, a couple of them have been married, although the relationships haven't lasted.... Sometimes I just feel like grabbing them and shaking them and screaming "GIVE IT UP! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE GAY?!"

Headhuunter

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Blimey, you page one gay guy to the thread and it goes all Vauxhall!

Oh yeah HH, to continue my sporting analogy, in snooker terms, I'm much more into potting the easy pink than the difficult brown, so thanks for the offer of the night out, but I'm out.




Or rather I'm in. Well, not in, just not interested.

You know what I'm mean.

I'm hearing indecision.... I think you need to come along to a drag show at the Vauxhall Tavern sometime and release those inhibitions.... DDD needs to come too to get that discomfort out of his system....

rick_chasey

Headhuunter wrote:

Joelsim wrote:

One of my mates has just come out.

I've known him about 10 years and he's always been known as 'Not gay Ben' as he's camper than Christmas, but hails from the church family-wise which sounds very difficult.

Now he's obviously known as 'Gay Ben' - he's not actually, but I wanted to get a gag in.

Anyway, on the whole I don't mind gay people as long as they don't ram it down my throat.

I've known 3 or 4 guys over the years who come across as camper than Brownsea Island but they claim they aren't and indeed, a couple of them have been married, although the relationships haven't lasted.... Sometimes I just feel like grabbing them and shaking them and screaming "GIVE IT UP! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE GAY?!"

Maybe they just fancied growing a beard?

notsoblue

I'm disappointed by the lack of fabulousness my gay friends exhibit

rick_chasey

Headhuunter wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Blimey, you page one gay guy to the thread and it goes all Vauxhall!

Oh yeah HH, to continue my sporting analogy, in snooker terms, I'm much more into potting the easy pink than the difficult brown, so thanks for the offer of the night out, but I'm out.




Or rather I'm in. Well, not in, just not interested.

You know what I'm mean.

I'm hearing indecision.... I think you need to come along to a drag show at the Vauxhall Tavern sometime and release those inhibitions.... DDD needs to come too to get that discomfort out of his system....

Even I draw the line at Chariots

Headhuunter

Rick Chasey wrote:

Headhuunter wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Blimey, you page one gay guy to the thread and it goes all Vauxhall!

Oh yeah HH, to continue my sporting analogy, in snooker terms, I'm much more into potting the easy pink than the difficult brown, so thanks for the offer of the night out, but I'm out.




Or rather I'm in. Well, not in, just not interested.

You know what I'm mean.

I'm hearing indecision.... I think you need to come along to a drag show at the Vauxhall Tavern sometime and release those inhibitions.... DDD needs to come too to get that discomfort out of his system....

Even I draw the line at Chariots

I'm surprised you even know about Chariots! The one in Shoreditch is the biggest sauna in Europe... Or something... Not that I would know... Anyway I was thinking a few drinks in a bar rather than Chariots, although who knows where the night may lead...

rick_chasey

Headhuunter wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Headhuunter wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Blimey, you page one gay guy to the thread and it goes all Vauxhall!

Oh yeah HH, to continue my sporting analogy, in snooker terms, I'm much more into potting the easy pink than the difficult brown, so thanks for the offer of the night out, but I'm out.




Or rather I'm in. Well, not in, just not interested.

You know what I'm mean.

I'm hearing indecision.... I think you need to come along to a drag show at the Vauxhall Tavern sometime and release those inhibitions.... DDD needs to come too to get that discomfort out of his system....

Even I draw the line at Chariots

I'm surprised you even know about Chariots! The one in Shoreditch is the biggest sauna in Europe... Or something... Not that I would know... Anyway I was thinking a few drinks in a bar rather than Chariots, although who knows where the night may lead...

If you imagine than I work in an aggressively homophobic office, where 'banter' is the be all and end all - I got to know about chariots pretty quickly.

e.g. "Err John, got this guy on the phone here for you, says he got your name and number off the wall at chariots". :roll:

sketchley

Stone Glider wrote:

I have never understood homophobia, why young men, usually, froth at the mouth at the thought of other people's sexual practices misses any frame of logic I have ever devised.

A while ago there was a BBC QED program that had an experiment where they taped electrodes to a cross section of men from different backgrounds, ages etc to measure stimulation. Before doing this they asked them question about their sexuality and were able to place several of them in the homophobic camp (pun intended). Then they played them a selection of porn including gay porn, they found the group that where homophobic were not only stimulated by the gay porn but also argued quite aggressively that they were not stimulated by it despite evidence to the contrary. I believe Sigmund Freud, theorized that people often have the most hateful and negative attitudes towards things they secretly crave, but feel that they shouldn't have.

A link to the study is here http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014

rick_chasey

Sketchley wrote:

Stone Glider wrote:

I have never understood homophobia, why young men, usually, froth at the mouth at the thought of other people's sexual practices misses any frame of logic I have ever devised.

A while ago there was a BBC QED program that had an experiment where they taped electrodes to a cross section of men from different backgrounds, ages etc to measure stimulation. Before doing this they asked them question about their sexuality and were able to place several of them in the homophobic camp (pun intended). Then they played them a selection of porn including gay porn, they found the group that where homophobic were not only stimulated by the gay porn but also argued quite aggressively that they were not stimulated by it despite evidence to the contrary. I believe Sigmund Freud, theorized that people often have the most hateful and negative attitudes towards things they secretly crave, but feel that they shouldn't have.

A link to the study is here http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014

Basically, what happens in American Dream .

sketchley

Rick Chasey wrote:

Headhuunter wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Blimey, you page one gay guy to the thread and it goes all Vauxhall!

Oh yeah HH, to continue my sporting analogy, in snooker terms, I'm much more into potting the easy pink than the difficult brown, so thanks for the offer of the night out, but I'm out.




Or rather I'm in. Well, not in, just not interested.

You know what I'm mean.

I'm hearing indecision.... I think you need to come along to a drag show at the Vauxhall Tavern sometime and release those inhibitions.... DDD needs to come too to get that discomfort out of his system....

Even I draw the line at Chariots

That's no place to draw a line. A number of years ago I used to DJ at imperial gardens in Camberwell. This club also hosted a night called FIST which was by all accounts a gay S&M hard house / techno night. One time I asked the owner why the carpets in the back room were always damp, his response was that they had to hose the room down after FIST. I made further enquires with some of my gay friends about what went on there and decided that was were I would draw the line. That being said I could often be found in Heaven night club back then as I found it very liberating to be amongst people, particularly gay man, who were able to be themselves without encountering homophobic idiots, everyone smiling and no real aggression makes for a great night out. I've also had many a good night on canal street in Manchester for the same reason.

sketchley

Rick Chasey wrote:

Sketchley wrote:

Stone Glider wrote:

I have never understood homophobia, why young men, usually, froth at the mouth at the thought of other people's sexual practices misses any frame of logic I have ever devised.

A while ago there was a BBC QED program that had an experiment where they taped electrodes to a cross section of men from different backgrounds, ages etc to measure stimulation. Before doing this they asked them question about their sexuality and were able to place several of them in the homophobic camp (pun intended). Then they played them a selection of porn including gay porn, they found the group that where homophobic were not only stimulated by the gay porn but also argued quite aggressively that they were not stimulated by it despite evidence to the contrary. I believe Sigmund Freud, theorized that people often have the most hateful and negative attitudes towards things they secretly crave, but feel that they shouldn't have.

A link to the study is here http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014

Basically, what happens in American Dream .

Yes but quoting a scientific study is better than a naff film. Although the blonde was quite cute and I do like the soundtrack.....

Paul E

Glad to see there are some decent people on here with views that are in this century rather than in the 17th

Headhuunter

Rick Chasey wrote:

Headhuunter wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Headhuunter wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Blimey, you page one gay guy to the thread and it goes all Vauxhall!

Oh yeah HH, to continue my sporting analogy, in snooker terms, I'm much more into potting the easy pink than the difficult brown, so thanks for the offer of the night out, but I'm out.




Or rather I'm in. Well, not in, just not interested.

You know what I'm mean.

I'm hearing indecision.... I think you need to come along to a drag show at the Vauxhall Tavern sometime and release those inhibitions.... DDD needs to come too to get that discomfort out of his system....

Even I draw the line at Chariots

I'm surprised you even know about Chariots! The one in Shoreditch is the biggest sauna in Europe... Or something... Not that I would know... Anyway I was thinking a few drinks in a bar rather than Chariots, although who knows where the night may lead...

If you imagine than I work in an aggressively homophobic office, where 'banter' is the be all and end all - I got to know about chariots pretty quickly.

e.g. "Err John, got this guy on the phone here for you, says he got your name and number off the wall at chariots". :roll:

I wonder how they ever found out about Chariots? Suggests that one of them actually had enough curiosity to actually Google "gay saunas in London" or something... Your office sounds like something out of the darkest days of the City in the 1980s!

ddraver

ahem, btw Chariots link NSFW (!!!)

clarkey cat

sounds like most offices in the City

rick_chasey

ddraver wrote:

ahem, btw Chariots link NSFW (!!!)

(that's why I gave the google search link...)

ddraver

Yeah, did nt quite realise the significance of that!

Headhuunter

clarkey cat wrote:

sounds like most offices in the City

I've been lucky enough not work in those then! My last company was run by a lesbian and one of the senior consultants was also gay...

Paul E

Headhuunter wrote:

clarkey cat wrote:

sounds like most offices in the City

I've been lucky enough not work in those then! My last company was run by a lesbian and one of the senior consultants was also gay...

Same here, luckily I have always worked in relaxed offices and companies

veronese68

This place is pretty much prehistoric in attitudes. 1970s motor trade.
I'm not at all surprised by that study into homophobic types. It's similar to people bragging about their sexual prowess, or size. I've never felt the need to shout about some things, why do some think I want to know.

Bassjunkieuk

@OP: Great line there from your son :-) I haven't been told that by any of my 6 yet and I think the closest I've had is having my bib-shorts referred to as the "Mario outfit" :-D

I did find out a while back that some of our family friends that I met for the first time shortly after meeting my wife whilst I was in college thought I was gay at first. Heck I think even my wife had her suspicions back then ;-) Apparently it wasn't quite right for a 17 yr old to have nicely styled hair and almost ALWAYS be in sleeveless or tight fitting tops. What can I say, I was a show-off who liked the attention (not much changes....)

On the subject of any of my kids coming out I can honestly say it wouldn't bother me at all. As long as they are happy and can find someone who makes them feel on top of the world then I couldn't care less if they are from the opposite or same gender.

As for the homophobic idiots, I'd be willing to bet some large sums of money that whilst they think 2 men getting together is something akin to going down on their grandmother they also think lesbians are the best thing since sliced bread!