First date on Friday

DonDaddyD

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Right-ho, date report.

Met her at the tube station as planned and conversation flowed easily as we walked to the comedy club. It was a pretty small venue and seating was reserved so we were shown to our seats.
FRONT AND CENTRE with only a few metres separating us from the acts. At this point we both know we are going to be targets for the comedians. At this point I apologise to her and offer her a drink. "Lemonade" is the request, guess she really is teetotal...

I head to the bar to get a lemonade for her and a pint for myself as well as a sneaky shot of vodka for a little covert Dutch courage. I return to our seats and we chat amiably until the compere comes on stage. He was pretty good and at the end of the night I thanked him for not ripping into us too badly.
He went round the front row and did a bit of gentle ribbing of everyone and when it was our turn he had the female members of the audience saying 'Ahhh, first date.' and the blokes were laughing at his imaginations of BJs to come. He also noticed she was on soft drinks and commented that I'd have my work cut out for me. Everyone agreed with that!
It sounds a bit intense, but it was all very quick and then he spent the rest of his time on stage between acts tearing into John behind us who was with a load of work colleagues, but sitting on his own.

John, I thank you for being an outcast.

After the comedy club (and a few more lemonades for her) we headed to a small Italian restaurant. I thought I had better head onto the soft drinks as I could feel the alcohol in my system and with a stone cold sober dining partner, it just didn't feel right.
We were chatting about the usual first date stuff, trying to get to know the other person, and I'm very glad to say she has wide and varied musical tastes. She does know who Talib Kweli is and we may be going to see John Legend & The Roots if we continue this thing for another couple of months.

We spent a bit longer than planned chatting over the meal (gotta be a good sign) so had to rush for her to catch the last train home. We got onto the platform just as the train doors opened so everything was a bit rushed. Peck on the cheek, promises to call, a look back and a smile and a wave as the doors closed and the train pulled away.
A little later she sent me a text to say that she was home safely, thanks for a good night and "we shall speak soon".

It was a pretty good first date. No drunken fumblings in the back of a taxi, no massive rows, but a definite spark.


TBC (hopefully)...

Ahhh read like the opening chapter of Mills and Boon.

Sounds like a third date lass.... (just keeping it real ya'know)

EKE_38BPM

Yeah, third date written all over her. I had no expectations of laying any pipe.

Fine by me, she seems worth it.

itboffin

You just made my hangover seem even worse :?

puke!

EKE_38BPM

ITB, I did shag a couple of random hen night slags on the way home though.

Does that help the hangover?

tailwindhome

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Yeah, third date written all over her. I had no expectations of laying any pipe.
Fine by me, she seems worth it.

That euphemism must mean something different in London.


God, I hope it does.

EKE_38BPM

TailWindHome wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Yeah, third date written all over her. I had no expectations of laying any pipe.
Fine by me, she seems worth it.

That euphemism must mean something different in London.


God, I hope it does.

Laying pipe, giving her the hot beef injection, getting your end away, getting busy, doing it (and doing it and doing it well), making the beast with two backs, taking the skin boat to tuna town, getting it on, hiding the sausage, knocking boots, or this.

You get the idea. Don't know what it means in your neck of the woods.

itboffin

EKE_38BPM wrote:

ITB, I did shag a couple of random hen night slags on the way home though.

Does that help the hangover?

Yes good lad

EKE_38BPM

itboffin wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

ITB, I did shag a couple of random hen night slags on the way home though.

Does that help the hangover?

Yes good lad

Glad to have helped

DonDaddyD

EKE_38BPM wrote:

TailWindHome wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Yeah, third date written all over her. I had no expectations of laying any pipe.
Fine by me, she seems worth it.

That euphemism must mean something different in London.


God, I hope it does.

Laying pipe, giving her the hot beef injection, getting your end away, getting busy, doing it (and doing it and doing it well), making the beast with two backs, taking the skin boat to tuna town, getting it on, hiding the sausage, knocking boots, or this.

You get the idea. Don't know what it means in your neck of the woods.

Lay pipe. Great phrase, great phrase.

"Bump uglies" is another

DonDaddyD

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Yeah, third date written all over her. I had no expectations of laying any pipe.

Fine by me, she seems worth it.

Most important thing said in this whole thread.

Glad to hear it.

Chapeau.

tailwindhome

DonDaddyD wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

TailWindHome wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Yeah, third date written all over her. I had no expectations of laying any pipe.
Fine by me, she seems worth it.

That euphemism must mean something different in London.


God, I hope it does.

Laying pipe, giving her the hot beef injection, getting your end away, getting busy, doing it (and doing it and doing it well), making the beast with two backs, taking the skin boat to tuna town, getting it on, hiding the sausage, knocking boots, or this.

You get the idea. Don't know what it means in your neck of the woods.

Lay pipe. Great phrase, great phrase.

"Bump uglies" is another

Lay pipe is also a euphemism for taking a dump.

EKE_38BPM

TailWindHome wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

TailWindHome wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Yeah, third date written all over her. I had no expectations of laying any pipe.
Fine by me, she seems worth it.

That euphemism must mean something different in London.


God, I hope it does.

Laying pipe, giving her the hot beef injection, getting your end away, getting busy, doing it (and doing it and doing it well), making the beast with two backs, taking the skin boat to tuna town, getting it on, hiding the sausage, knocking boots, or this.

You get the idea. Don't know what it means in your neck of the woods.

Lay pipe. Great phrase, great phrase.

"Bump uglies" is another

Lay pipe is also a euphemism for taking a dump.

Aaahhh, thats 'laying a cable' .

Creating a danger to shipping.
Dropping the kids off at the pool.
Losing weight the quick way.
etc

DonDaddyD

Park a crunchy!

fenboy369

Must have been the weekend for it!
*** Back Story Alert ***
MrsFenboy made the decision earlier in the year that I am actually a waste of space and was no longer any use to her (an odd choice as she now wants me put up shelves, construct furniture in her new house and keep her wood shed stocked up with free wood). Anyway after 12ish years we split up and so I found myself as single 33 year old in a most confusing world. Been on a couple of dates with some 'nice' girls :? but found myself chatting on the interweb to a seemingly lovely young lady from round my neck of the woods.
So Friday night was First Date Night for me too! And what a wonderfully random night it was. Full of fun, laughter, possibly a little too much vodka :oops: , no
And got a plus one to a wedding reception on Saturday night where she was a bridesmaid. Woop woop!
Layed on the awesome first thing, confident, witty and attentive. Played it a little coy and almost shy after a few of her questions, which she seemed to like (sensitive and caring man is always a good ploy). Great success!
All in, a superb weekends work! And I think that a tactical breifing like this thread is always handy, especially as DDD says to help out the poor unfortunates such as myself, who for no fault of their own find themselves cast out into a world of changed ideals and values. Almost sounded like an RSPCA add there...

...This is Fenboy, he was cruely abandoned by an uncaring wife. His future looks bleak, but for £2 a week you could sponsor him or even adopt him. Remember, cyclists have feelings too...

PBo

DonDaddyD wrote:

Park a crunchy!

Do you mean "crunchie" - ie alluding to the similarity in shape and colour of a turd and a popular piece of confectionary?

Or,are you actually referring to the sound/texture of your own excrement, therefore indicating you have serious dietary issues?

Please tell me it's the former. Although evidence suggests the latter

DonDaddyD wrote:

Though I took my girlfriend Shalamar in Clapham. Needed to see how she handle £2 2 piece of chicken and chips.

No - wait - you're not back to sexual euphemisms are you? If so, you need to get down the STI clinic.

Unless you mean "crunchie" - ie alluding to the similarity in shape and colour of your.....

I'll just leave it there.....

(I'd have to use mini milk) :oops:

Cafewanda

Nice one Fenboy

Zachariah

Probably best never to let her know you post in this forum.

fenboy369

I feel thats probably a very good idea....

EKE_38BPM

2nd date being planned.
This is what happens when the awesome is turned on.

itboffin

Best hope she never finds this forum/thread

EKE_38BPM

She says she's not a big social user of the internet and she can't ride a bike, so chances are she won't stumble across this.

I haven't said anything on here thats secret or would identify her.

You are right, but I'm not worried.

Kieran_Burns

EKE_38BPM wrote:

She says she's not a big social user of the internet and she can't ride a bike, so chances are she won't stumble across this.

I haven't said anything on here thats secret or would identify her.

You are right, but I'm not worried.

You do know she's been fibbing and is right now plotting your doom... 8)

PBo

Kieran_Burns wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

She says she's not a big social user of the internet and she can't ride a bike, so chances are she won't stumble across this.

I haven't said anything on here thats secret or would identify her.

You are right, but I'm not worried.

You do know she's been fibbing and is right now plotting your doom... 8)

that's right - thousands of teetotal women went to a comedy club last friday, were ribbed by mc about a first date/beeing teetotal/bjs, and sat just in front of john the office outcast.......

EKE_38BPM

Errr... You got me there. I suppose if MI5 are after me/her, this would be a good place to start a search.

DonDaddyD

fenboy369 wrote:

Must have been the weekend for it!
*** Back Story Alert ***
MrsFenboy made the decision earlier in the year that I am actually a waste of space and was no longer any use to her (an odd choice as she now wants me put up shelves, construct furniture in her new house and keep her wood shed stocked up with free wood). Anyway after 12ish years we split up and so I found myself as single 33 year old in a most confusing world. Been on a couple of dates with some 'nice' girls :? but found myself chatting on the interweb to a seemingly lovely young lady from round my neck of the woods.
So Friday night was First Date Night for me too! And what a wonderfully random night it was. Full of fun, laughter, possibly a little too much vodka :oops: , no
And got a plus one to a wedding reception on Saturday night where she was a bridesmaid. Woop woop!
Layed on the awesome first thing, confident, witty and attentive. Played it a little coy and almost shy after a few of her questions, which she seemed to like (sensitive and caring man is always a good ploy). Great success!
All in, a superb weekends work! And I think that a tactical breifing like this thread is always handy, especially as DDD says to help out the poor unfortunates such as myself, who for no fault of their own find themselves cast out into a world of changed ideals and values. Almost sounded like an RSPCA add there...

...This is Fenboy, he was cruely abandoned by an uncaring wife. His future looks bleak, but for £2 a week you could sponsor him or even adopt him. Remember, cyclists have feelings too...

Chapeau.

Re.
Ex-MrsFenboy, next time she asks you to put some shelves up, rebuild the kitchen that sort of thing, reply with "what's in it for me..." It's OK, you can be a A-hole to her and refer to her in circles as your evil ex-wife... It's her own fault.

Anywho

This:

EKE wrote:

This is what happens when the awesome is turned on.

AND

Fenboy wrote:

Layed on the awesome first thing

I don't mind the use of the term Awesome. As long as you realise that 'The Power Awesome' (tm). Is all DDD!

Finally

Gotta take Ms DDD out for a date next Friday, drink and then maybe a meal... decisions, decisions....

EKE_38BPM

I don't think I'm really feeling her.

Talk of Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole being "style icons" and "great singers" just ain't doing it for me.
Pity, because she is fit as.

"Coca Cola bokkle shape
Ah it ah run de place"

What to do?

Should have followed through with the girl I met on the way home!

Cafewanda

Hmm, her choice of 'icons' indicates a lack of awareness of the true meaning of the word. I think you should attempt to educate her

Having said that, at least two of my brothers (in their single days) used to recommend having a 'backup' just in case things didn't work out.

invincible

Cafewanda wrote:

Having said that, at least two of my brothers (in their single days) used to recommend having a 'backup' just in case things didn't work out.

only do this though if there is no possible chance they know each other, even if they live in different cities the consequences of them having a mutual friend isnt pretty :oops:

Stone Glider

You are an inconstant jade sir! How can she develop into the fine person you expect without your help and assistance? Too many want to have everything on a plate without any effort. You are the man to lead this young lady into the sweet uplands of educated taste and refinement. Make more effort.

beegee

Do not try to fit a square peg into a round hole. It will create long term misery for you. Try to find someone with a square hole (metaphorically speaking)