First date on Friday

Stuey01

DonDaddyD wrote:

Stuey01 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

The Bill (hums theme song): Offer to pay, she will counter-offer to split. If at this point you don't insist on paying, you should have done. Doesn't matter what the outcome is.

Equality, it's great isn't it.

You'll be wanting us to open your jars next.

Ms DDD was overly British polite when I met her - the kind of polite that annoys most black people (that I know) but we're too polite to say.

Our first date, which was a drink, I said "I'll pay" She replied "No I'll pay"

This back and forth went on four times, I think we split it.

So the second date, which was steak, I said "I'll pay" She said "No I'll pay". I said it once more and she replied "NO no I got this you got the last one". So I said OK.

This took her by surprise, I didn't even offer to split it. She never did that again.

They can be trained.

Why would I want to train her not to offer to pay?

The missus and I take it in turns anyway, when we remember. But we are getting married next year so a little beyond first date stage. Though I think this was pretty much the form from the get go.

ketsbaia

If you do get to the Bom Chikka Wah-Wah stage, whatever you do, make sure you don't cry out: "Mother! I'm Sorry!" when you empty the funbags. Not even in jest.

hth

DonDaddyD

Jongleurs Comedy club in Covert Garden had Curtis Walker - that 'bredda' is funny!

If you want some 'caribbean comedy' there is this website:

http://www.itzcaribbean.com/flyer-comedy-event.php

And these:

http://www.hackneyempire.co.uk/61/whats ... riety.html

Ms DDD may not fully get it but I'll drag her along anyway 'mek her learn uno'

Anyway

Went to see Chris Rock with Ms DDD in Hammersmith, funny as hell and then he appeared to go after mixed-race couples.... we sank into our chairs... thankfully he skimmed passed that subject and went onto swallowing...

Clever Pun

Il Principe wrote:

Clever Pun wrote:

it worked as 10 years later we're still together.. awww

although in fairness that's because you've tied her up.

nah they can get out of that... watch Boxing Helena

il_principe

Clever Pun wrote:

watch Boxing Helena

googles :shock:

rjsterry

ketsbaia wrote:

If you do get to the Bom Chikka Wah-Wah stage, whatever you do, make sure you don't cry out: "Mother! I'm Sorry!" when you empty the funbags. Not even in jest.

hth

Is that written from experience?

EKE_38BPM

Thanks for the links DDD. I was due to see Oliver Samuels last weekend at Hackney, but went to a friend's bday drinks (and met the lady in question).
Whenever I think of Oliver I remember a sketch where he was in a supermarket and the usual mishaps and misunderstandings went on. The highlight for me was when the checkout girl said to him "Do you want a box?" and Oliver replied:
"Well, bux me, nuh!?
I was working in a supermarket (ahh, college days....) and whenever someone asked their partner if they wanted a box, I smiled to myself.

Do you remember Ishmael of Curtis and Ishmael?
I heard he got all drugged up and then all religified so doesn't do comedy any more.
I saw Curtis at Jongleurs (Watford) a while back. Very funny fella.

I've had that sink into the seat moment when mixed race couples are mentioned. No danger of that on Friday.

itboffin

If all else fails i might be available for chaperon services this Friday, if you dont mind a MASSHOOF drunken middle aged man sitting between you both slurring his words, forgetting what he's talking about and general staring at any available/potential exposed flesh - I'm talking about YOU here.

Of course I will have left my wallet in the Jag!!!!

EKE_38BPM

All of the above I could probably handle. If you start showing her your shaven (like a laydee) legs though, I think both me and my date would run off screaming (me in at a lower pitch than her).

DonDaddyD

EKE_38BPM wrote:

The highlight for me was when the checkout girl said to him "Do you want a box?" and Oliver replied:
"Well, bux me, nuh!?

That reminds me of the many comedy adverts on Vibes FM (93.8)

Women says "she missed the number 36 bus". Other women says "Ya eedyat why you nah get 2 number 18's?"

Or

<< Bux >>
Women "Oliver! The dutty women ah bux me!"
Oliver "If you tink ya bad let me see ya bux her again
<< Bux >>
Women "Oliver, Oliver!"
Oliver "Whoa whoa whoa, come, for she kill you!"

Oh how I laughed when that sketch would come on.

Do you remember Ishmael of Curtis and Ishmael?

Damn fool man and idiot boy (said eedyat bwoy)? Real McKoy, Aforce and 291 Club. Loved those days. Real McKoy and Aforce on BBC were amazing, in fact have we regressed there is nothing close to that these days. Now we have 'fat boy' on Eastenders.

I've had that sink into the seat moment when mixed race couples are mentioned. No danger of that on Friday.

I see, well then you can throw my 'no chicken on the bone' rule out of the window.

This also changes the options, perhaps or may be a little cliche.predictable... if you purposely go the Caribbean/African/Ethnic route.

Decisions, decisions. Take her ice skating, that's a fun laugh a minute hold her hand first date...

EKE_38BPM

We have regressed indeed. Its almost back to the days of shouting around the house and calling friends and family to say there is a black person on TV (yes whitey, that did happen).

I don't watch Eastenders so I don't know who Fatboy is, but I doubt he is showing off his race in the best light. Can't read too much into it though as no-one on that programme comes up smelling of roses.

Remember No Problem when Channel 4 first started (probably not, you are a young'un ain't ya)?

DonDaddyD

EKE_38BPM wrote:

We have regressed indeed. Its almost back to the days of shouting around the house and calling friends and family to say there is a black person on TV (yes whitey, that did happen).

Lol and they'll be on the phone calling you to say exactly the same thing! Most annoying is when you're flicking through the channels and parents/older people shout stop "black person on TV". It could be something they simply wouldn't watch, throw a black person on and its good telly.

All this said, I'm beginning to feel that way about X-factor. This series has been unforgivable. Dannii Minogue doesn't like black people (there I've said it). Paige and Marlon where amazing and should have gone through with Storm.

I think Ashley Cole didn't do us any favours with Cheryl as well, the girl with the Afro should have gone through as well as well as: the other black girl with the big voice.

I don't watch Eastenders so I don't know who Fatboy is, but I doubt he is showing off his race in the best light. Can't read too much into it though as no-one on that programme comes up smelling of roses.

Remember No Problem when Channel 4 first started (probably not, you are a young'un ain't ya)?

I think I should point out that I don't watch Eastenders, I have to listen to it as Ms DDD watches it, Emmerdale, Corrie and Hollyoaks. Eastenders makes my skin crawl and everytime I hear the word 'blud' I want to scream.

Channel 4 started? I had all of 7 months worth of memories when Channel 4 first launched.

Anyway, where you taking you're date? Remember to give us a full report as well as confirmation of any 'pipe laying'. Remember to polish the gold and shine the shoes. Comb your hair Wear a good watch. Oh and Iron your shirt!

Headhuunter

DonDaddyD wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

The highlight for me was when the checkout girl said to him "Do you want a box?" and Oliver replied:
"Well, bux me, nuh!?

That reminds me of the many comedy adverts on Vibes FM (93.8)

Women says "she missed the number 36 bus". Other women says "Ya eedyat why you nah get 2 number 18's?"

Or

<< Bux >>
Women "Oliver! The dutty women ah bux me!"
Oliver "If you tink ya bad let me see ya bux her again
<< Bux >>
Women "Oliver, Oliver!"
Oliver "Whoa whoa whoa, come, for she kill you!"

Oh how I laughed when that sketch would come on.

Do you remember Ishmael of Curtis and Ishmael?

Damn fool man and idiot boy (said eedyat bwoy)? Real McKoy, Aforce and 291 Club. Loved those days. Real McKoy and Aforce on BBC were amazing, in fact have we regressed there is nothing close to that these days. Now we have 'fat boy' on Eastenders.

I've had that sink into the seat moment when mixed race couples are mentioned. No danger of that on Friday.

I see, well then you can throw my 'no chicken on the bone' rule out of the window.

This also changes the options, perhaps or may be a little cliche.predictable... if you purposely go the Caribbean/African/Ethnic route.

Decisions, decisions. Take her ice skating, that's a fun laugh a minute hold her hand first date...

OMG Dyamn Fool Man - that used to make me laugh n laugh!

EKE_38BPM

Comedy club then drinks after. I won't be able to meet her until quite late so she will have eaten already. May get some bar food if we end up somewhere decent.
A gentleman never kisses and tells
I don't wear jewellery and my shoes are always kept tip top
I haven't combed my hair in about 20 years, but it will be freshly shaven (despite my cold)
I don't ususally wear a watch, but I have a few from when I did, so I may have to dig into my collection. Rolex or TAG?

I do love a good shirt. I have a new one that I have been saving for a special occassion. Time to open the packet methinks.

For the soap opera issues, headphones are your friend. I can't stand them and the exMrs EKE watched every one. I'd listen to music on headphones and read a book as her brain rotted.

Dyam Fool Man was well funny. There are quite a few of The Real McKoy sketches on Youtube. Check them out.

dhope

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Rolex or TAG?

Depends, are you picking her up in the Rolls or the Zonda?

EKE_38BPM

I've given my driver the day off, so the Rolls is out of the question.

I'll have to slum it in the S Class.

dhope

EKE_38BPM wrote:

I've given my driver the day off, so the Rolls is out of the question.

I'll have to slum it in the S Class.

Take the Sekonda then, and meal at McD's

DonDaddyD

Depends on the Rolex model, I'm loving both my Sub Mariner (though much prefer my Seamaster - keeps better time).

I'd probably say Tag though, I'm guessing it looks more sporty and goes better with the casual look.

Also a gentlemen never kisses and tells, but men do!

Headhuunter

Patek Philippe. Anyone who knows watches knows there is nothing else.

EKE_38BPM

Right, just had a chat with the lady in question and found out three interesting facts about her.
1: I'm over 1 foot taller than her
2: She doesn't drink
3: SHE CANNOT RIDE A BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The height thing isn't a big issue, I've dated short-arses before but there will be no getting comfortably squiffy together as we get to know each other and I will have to stay relatively sober so that I don't look like a lush. I don't know what to say about the bike thing.

On the plus side, cheap date...

itboffin

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Right, just had a chat with the lady in question and found out three interesting facts about her.
1: I'm over 1 foot taller than her
2: She doesn't drink WTF
3: SHE CANNOT RIDE A BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The height thing isn't a big issue, I've dated short-arses before but there will be no getting comfortably squiffy together as we get to know each other and I will have to stay relatively sober so that I don't look like a lush. I don't know what to say about the bike thing.

On the plus side, cheap date...

Sorry to have to break this to you butttttt - It's OVER!!!! teetotaler make my skin creep, it's not fecking natural I tell you.

As a side note, did you meet this person via some kind of Internet blind date ...?

EKE_38BPM

The nearest she gets to riding a bike is spin classes in the gym.

Every year I meet up with an old uni friend for his birthday. At last year's get together I saw this lovely lady, but I was with my girlfriend at the time so didn't get to chat to her.
Last weekend it was said friend's birthday again and this lovely lady was there so I turned on the awesome and got her number before she left for a work related party.

All through the bike show we were swapping texts and agreed to meet on Friday.

stuaff

itboffin wrote:

2: She doesn't drink WTF


Sorry to have to break this to you butttttt - It's OVER!!!! teetotaler make my skin creep, it's not fecking natural I tell you.

Each to their own. Perhaps the lady just doesn't like the taste of alcohol, like me. More for the likes of you

Norky

EKE_38BPM wrote:

..., how to get jiggy wid it and post date protocol.

DonDaddyD wrote:

Pace Power Aggression Control Creativity

Sounds like the judging criteria for Robot Wars!

.... there's a difference?

greg66_tri_v2.0

itboffin wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Right, just had a chat with the lady in question and found out three interesting facts about her.
1: I'm over 1 foot taller than her
2: She doesn't drink WTF
3: SHE CANNOT RIDE A BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The height thing isn't a big issue, I've dated short-arses before but there will be no getting comfortably squiffy together as we get to know each other and I will have to stay relatively sober so that I don't look like a lush. I don't know what to say about the bike thing.

On the plus side, cheap date...

Sorry to have to break this to you butttttt - It's OVER!!!! teetotaler make my skin creep, it's not fecking natural I tell you.

As a side note, did you meet this person via some kind of Internet blind date ...?

This.

Looks like KB was right. You're going to need chloroform.

EKE_38BPM

StuAff wrote:

Well, you are a bit of a drinker (!)

I don't know what you're talking about *takes a sip of Jameson and ginger*.

I'm a bit of a binge drinker. I may go for a week or two without a drink and then get a bit excessive. Not fall over in a puddle of my own puke excessive, but enough so that I feel a bit rough for the next day or two.

Applespider

Well... spin classes at the gym mean that when you get her on a bike, her legs will be used to it. I did a lot of spin before I got back on a moving bike. Now I don't spin

You didn't notice the height difference on other meetings or was she in killer heels?

Hmm... wonder if there's a great story behind why she doesn't drink? Shouldn't be a deal killer but I've only gone out with one teetotaller (although have had more as friends) and always made me feel like a bit of a lush when I fancied more than one glass of wine with dinner.

deptfordmarmoset

EKE_38BPM wrote:

The nearest she gets to riding a bike is spin classes in the gym.

So, she's got the hang of sitting and pedalling to keep fit! What she needs is someone to show her what the real point of cycling is....

itboffin

StuAff wrote:

itboffin wrote:

2: She doesn't drink WTF


Sorry to have to break this to you butttttt - It's OVER!!!! teetotaler make my skin creep, it's not fecking natural I tell you.

Each to their own. Perhaps the lady just doesn't like the taste of alcohol, like me. More for the likes of you

Weird

stuaff

EKE_38BPM wrote:

StuAff wrote:

Well, you are a bit of a drinker (!)

I don't know what you're talking about *takes a sip of Jameson and ginger*.

I'm a bit of a binge drinker. I may go for a week or two without a drink and then get a bit excessive. Not fall over in a puddle of my own puke excessive, but enough so that I feel a bit rough for the next day or two.

It was actually ITB I was referring to...;)