First date on Friday

stuaff

itboffin wrote:

StuAff wrote:

itboffin wrote:

2: She doesn't drink WTF


Sorry to have to break this to you butttttt - It's OVER!!!! teetotaler make my skin creep, it's not fecking natural I tell you.

Each to their own. Perhaps the lady just doesn't like the taste of alcohol, like me. More for the likes of you

Weird

Some might say that about you too

EKE_38BPM

We spent a lot of time seated in a group and chatting. I knew she was short, but most women are quite a bit shorter than me, so didn't notice it specifically.

What I now recall is when I was buying a round and asked her if she wanted a drink, she declined, but she left soon after so I thought that was the reason.

Without the use of the most successful panty loosener ever devised, I'm going to have to turn on the awesome.

Or use Jimmy Carr's chat up line: "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

stuaff

EKE_38BPM wrote:

We spent a lot of time seated in a group and chatting. I knew she was short, but most women are quite a bit shorter than me, so didn't notice it specifically.

What I now recall is when I was buying a round and asked her if she wanted a drink, she declined, but she left soon after so I thought that was the reason.

Without the use of the most successful panty loosener ever devised, I'm going to have to turn on the awesome.

Or use Jimmy Carr's chat up line: "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

Don't worry about it. Nothing to feel uncomfortable about, for either of you.

EKE_38BPM

StuAff wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

We spent a lot of time seated in a group and chatting. I knew she was short, but most women are quite a bit shorter than me, so didn't notice it specifically.

What I now recall is when I was buying a round and asked her if she wanted a drink, she declined, but she left soon after so I thought that was the reason.

Without the use of the most successful panty loosener ever devised, I'm going to have to turn on the awesome.

Or use Jimmy Carr's chat up line: "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

Don't worry about it. Nothing to feel uncomfortable about, for either of you.

I'm not worried, I'll just get rat-arsed before we meet!

Cafewanda

Sometimes, just sometimes you guys worry me :shock:


Eke, Morpeth for a swift one or two before you meet the lady? Get her to meet you there. On second thoughts, that's not a good idea!

EKE_38BPM

CW, does this prove I'm not heightist? Next time we meet up I'll get you a box to stand on so that you can see over the bar and buy you a Guiness.

Cafewanda

Make it a pint plus food and I'll accept your apology

:P

gtvlusso

*Bump*

Tonights the night

Remember all you have been told and wear deodorant!

Good luck old chap!

lardboy

EKE_38BPM wrote:

...
3: SHE CANNOT RIDE A BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
I don't know what to say about the bike thing.

Don't worry about it, but don't pretend you aren't a cyclist

My fiance wasn't a cyclist when we met a couple of years ago and it took almost a year before she got onto one, Now she's got a steel framed road bike, is looking out for a shopper style n+1, works for a cycling organisation, and is talking about L2B next year.

Baby steps...

DonDaddyD

She doesn't drink! That's just gonna make the evening uncomfortable...

You're gonna have to 'lyrics' her then!

Practice these:

Girl you look fine, like a wind face Rolex you just shine
I like that waistline
Let me hit that from behind, which wall you wanna climb
My styles genuine, girl I love you long time

Or

There's no question of a doubt. I've checked all the ladies out
Your the finest thing that I've seen. Sexy Lady be my Queen
Had this dream of me and you and all the thing we could do
Mind for your body and sou. Gonna make you lose control

Or - and this really is the big guns here

One your like a dream come true
Two just wanna be with you
Three and girl its plain to see
That your the only one for me

Four respect steps one, two and three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start it back at one.

Yes.

Make sure you got some 'lovers rock' and reggae in the car:
Tears on my pillow, Silly games, Everything I own.

Man those songs have helped brotha's get laid since the 50's!

Cafewanda

EKE - PLEASE disregard DDD's 'helpful' comments above :shock: :shock:

DonDaddyD

Cafewanda wrote:

EKE - PLEASE disregard DDD's 'helpful' comments above :shock: :shock:

Are you trying to tell me that Sanchez, Sugar Minott (Good thing going), Kenneth Booth (Everything I own) and Lorna Bennett (Breakfast in Bed) isn't worthy of a whine on the dance for at least. And you know that I know that we know that that is where and when it really starts.

Oh yeah and EKE practice your 'bop'. You know, drop the shoulder and walk with a limp like you're a bad mama jama, which you are because you've got a 'bop'!

Cafewanda

DonDaddyD wrote:

Cafewanda wrote:

EKE - PLEASE disregard DDD's 'helpful' comments above :shock: :shock:

Are you trying to tell me that Sanchez, Sugar Minott (Good thing going), Kenneth Booth (Everything I own) and Lorna Bennett (Breakfast in Bed) isn't worthy of a whine on the dance for at least. And you know that I know that we know that that is where and when it really starts.

Oh yeah and EKE practice your 'bop'. You know, drop the shoulder and walk with a limp like you're a bad mama jama, which you are because you've got a 'bop'!

NOT on a first date!

Jaysus, you young people................

solsurf

she doesn't drink, is she pregnant?
And she doesn't ride a bike.

Have a great date

EKE_38BPM

I'm begining to think that Mrs DDD is actually a figment of DDD's imagination/fantasies.

Late 20s bloke into comic books and playing Star Trek online, reaction to a mouse and I've seen his dating tips. What woman could put up with all that?

Lardboy, she cannot even ride a bike.
The steps would have to be very baby ones. Forget steps, even little ones, it'd be more like "try and stand first" to continue the analogy.
She can't swim either, but that is for another thread.

Everything is all sorted for tonight. Just gotta do the mad dash home from work, full service (sh!t, shave and a shower) and then take PT to meet her.

See the show, get some grub (nothing booked, but the club is above a gastro pub, so should be OK, if not, go elsewhere), resist the temptation to drink too much, possible club (but I doubt it), walk her to her train station and...

Alphabet

EKE_38BPM wrote:

She can't swim either, but that is for another thread.

you two are utterly perfect for each other then

WesternWay

Alphabet wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Coq d'argent
1 Poultry
London
EC2R 8EJ
.

+1 on the coq. plus the name is coq. *titter*
.... but I'm always working on a second. Good for just a drink too.

Are you hinting you want a date with Eke?

andy83

EKE a little word of warning regarding the non drinking and any future dates

I was tee total for 9 years and just started drinking again, long story not going to bore everyone

The thing is if it was in a pub environment with lots of people drunk, I wouldnt really enjoy myself and be kind of anxious. Even if you go for a nice meal around areas where there are loads of bars (sorry only know bham references so broard street if you ever been) she could feel uneasy

Yes I know she goes out and you met her in a bar BUT just remember she may not be completely relaxed so whilst trying to work your awesome keep this in mind as you want her relaxed

for the purpose of ITB reading this I do now drink so im not weird

DonDaddyD

EKE_38BPM wrote:

See the show, get some grub (nothing booked, but the club is above a gastro pub, so should be OK, if not, go elsewhere), resist the temptation to drink too much, possible club (but I doubt it), walk her to her train station and...

Gastro pub, jaysus... what you gonna have a slow baked chicken and mushroom pie and a bag of chips. Dude, push the boat out a bit.. just a little. Though I took my girlfriend Shalamar in Clapham. Needed to see how she handle £2 2 piece of chicken and chips.

Aren't you a bit old to be raving? Wine bar, bar, bar that sells wine and spirits that looks civilised, but not to bright. Oh she doesn't drink...

DonDaddyD

EKE_38BPM wrote:

I'm begining to think that Mrs DDD is actually a figment of DDD's imagination/fantasies.

Late 20s bloke into comic books and playing Star Trek online, reaction to a mouse and I've seen his dating tips. What woman could put up with all that?

Exceptionally big tings!

Hate the game, man. Hate the game.

EKE_38BPM

As long as the music in the club isn't too loud (I'd have to turn my hearing aid down/off) and my zimmer frame is tuned up, I can 'get down' with the best of them (home by 10PM to catch the news and have a cup of tea and a choccy biccie though).

I think she is a fair bit younger than me. Did a bit of cyber stalking and checked out her Facebook page. I couldn't see everything, but Cheryl Cole was one of her likes *shudder*. Pity its not Mos Def And Talib Kweli Are Blackstar or Scratch Perverts, but looking like she does, I can forgive her a few foibles.
I blame bad parenting. Can't ride, can't swim, likes Chery Tweedy. Not good.

Banging body though, so very good.

DonDaddyD

I see, young crumpet...

How old are you?

You wanna hope she can ride... cycling you can overlook...

EKE_38BPM

I'm in my mid 30s but people always guess at least 5 years younger than I actually am. My boyish good looks may have lulled her into a false sense of security. Thinking they were dealing with a younger man (rather than a old hand) has worked for me in the past.

As you age, you gain experience (got loads of that, thanks) so can read the signals better. Even if that means bowing out it can be done with grace, style and dignity.

Yeah, I hope she can ride. But as I said, a gentleman never tells. Unless she's rubbish and we go our separate ways, then maybe I'll spill the beans.

DonDaddyD

Yes, I know all about looking young. I still only need to shave once a week and even then its not a full beard more just whiskers around the lips.

Aging and gaining experience is a funny thing. I never understand why some perceive it to mean that you must never have fun anymore.

There is always something new to learn and more experience to gain so maturity is just a matter of perspective.

Me? I will always be young at heart. That's my thing.

EKE_38BPM

You're only as old as the person you feel.
Boys don't grow up, their toys just get more expensive.
You don't stop playing because you get old, you get old because you stop playing

etc etc

Pufftmw

and???????

There's a forum of people just waiting to live their lives vicariously through you. Plus we want to know whose advice works & whose doesn't Or whose you followed..

hatbeard

Pufftmw wrote:

and???????

There's a forum of people just waiting to live their lives vicariously through you. Plus we want to know whose advice works & whose doesn't Or whose you followed..

^this. have either of you made the walk of shame/glory yet?

Cafewanda

Sits on couch with a glass of wine and a portion of fish and chips ready to hear about the event.

EKE_38BPM

Right-ho, date report.

Met her at the tube station as planned and conversation flowed easily as we walked to the comedy club. It was a pretty small venue and seating was reserved so we were shown to our seats.
FRONT AND CENTRE with only a few metres separating us from the acts. At this point we both know we are going to be targets for the comedians. At this point I apologise to her and offer her a drink. "Lemonade" is the request, guess she really is teetotal...

I head to the bar to get a lemonade for her and a pint for myself as well as a sneaky shot of vodka for a little covert Dutch courage. I return to our seats and we chat amiably until the compere comes on stage. He was pretty good and at the end of the night I thanked him for not ripping into us too badly.
He went round the front row and did a bit of gentle ribbing of everyone and when it was our turn he had the female members of the audience saying 'Ahhh, first date.' and the blokes were laughing at his imaginations of BJs to come. He also noticed she was on soft drinks and commented that I'd have my work cut out for me. Everyone agreed with that!
It sounds a bit intense, but it was all very quick and then he spent the rest of his time on stage between acts tearing into John behind us who was with a load of work colleagues, but sitting on his own.

John, I thank you for being an outcast.

After the comedy club (and a few more lemonades for her) we headed to a small Italian restaurant. I thought I had better head onto the soft drinks as I could feel the alcohol in my system and with a stone cold sober dining partner, it just didn't feel right.
We were chatting about the usual first date stuff, trying to get to know the other person, and I'm very glad to say she has wide and varied musical tastes. She does know who Talib Kweli is and we may be going to see John Legend & The Roots if we continue this thing for another couple of months.

We spent a bit longer than planned chatting over the meal (gotta be a good sign) so had to rush for her to catch the last train home. We got onto the platform just as the train doors opened so everything was a bit rushed. Peck on the cheek, promises to call, a look back and a smile and a wave as the doors closed and the train pulled away.
A little later she sent me a text to say that she was home safely, thanks for a good night and "we shall speak soon".

It was a pretty good first date. No drunken fumblings in the back of a taxi, no massive rows, but a definite spark.


TBC (hopefully)...

Cafewanda

Yay!!!

Well done young man