Just for Fun: If I were Prime Minister, I would...

daviesee

Rick Chasey wrote:

My idea is obviously brilliant.

You could event count an investment as expenditure. :shock: Now - ostensibly this is disastrous - who would put a tax on investment - but wait..... Since you don't get taxed on the profit you make, it reward a) good investment and b) longer term investment.

AFAIK there is already a system in place like this. Or there was.
Back when I started work, my mother advised getting an endowment policy. Not towards a mortgage but as a savings plan.
The Government not long after decided to tax such savings. I had an option, pay tax on the contributions or on the pay-off. I chose the contributions. If* that system is still working when I retire as sold then I will save massively on taxes paid upon collection.

*That is a massive IF.

SmellTheGlove

...decree that whenever any national anthem (ours or anyone else's) is played on UK soil, everyone in earshot must get their kit off, no ifs or buts - everyone. That'll stop the bastards.

EKE_38BPM

Make airlines give all passengers a total weight allowance that includes the weight of the passenger, say 110kg. Lardarses would have to pay extra, beanpoles could take loads of luggage.

The laws of fuel consumption don't care if the weight is made up of 80kg of me and 30kg of luggage, but as things stand, the airlines allow me and Fatty McGorgeface sitting next to me carry the same amount of luggage even though they weigh more and therefore burn more fuel.

The downside of this is that Fatty McGorgeface may fly in only a banana hammock and not have any clothing when they reach their destination so will have to continue wearing that banana hammock.

Initialised

Single biggest difference?

Get rid of Religious and Paid for schools. Make sure the best students get the best teachers not the rich.

notsoblue

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Make airlines give all passengers a total weight allowance that includes the weight of the passenger, say 110kg. Lardarses would have to pay extra, beanpoles could take loads of luggage.

The laws of fuel consumption don't care if the weight is made up of 80kg of me and 30kg of luggage, but as things stand, the airlines allow me and Fatty McGorgeface sitting next to me carry the same amount of luggage even though they weigh more and therefore burn more fuel.

The downside of this is that Fatty McGorgeface may fly in only a banana hammock and not have any clothing when they reach their destination so will have to continue wearing that banana hammock.

Dude, its my glands. I can't help it.

EKE_38BPM

notsoblue wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Make airlines give all passengers a total weight allowance that includes the weight of the passenger, say 110kg. Lardarses would have to pay extra, beanpoles could take loads of luggage.

The laws of fuel consumption don't care if the weight is made up of 80kg of me and 30kg of luggage, but as things stand, the airlines allow me and Fatty McGorgeface sitting next to me carry the same amount of luggage even though they weigh more and therefore burn more fuel.

The downside of this is that Fatty McGorgeface may fly in only a banana hammock and not have any clothing when they reach their destination so will have to continue wearing that banana hammock.

Dude, its my glands. I can't help it.

Budgie smugglers for you then.

iPete

I'd buy everyone living in Zone 1-6 a Brompton and make it illegal to sell them.

Tweed caps mandatory.

Ben6899

The airline / passenger weight policy requires some additional thought. I can see where the right honourable posters are coming from, but we're in danger of punishing the wrong subset of passengers.

Example.

I am 5'11" and I weigh 11st. Perfectly reasonable.
The bloke next to me is 5'2" and he weighs 10st. Obese, too many pies and cans of Coke.

Should I really pay more than him for my seat on the 'plane?

If I were Prime Minister...

1. Speaking with an affected accent would be punishable with Community Service and confiscation of smart phone.

2. Operating Systems would be coded so that if txt spk is used anywhere other than on a mobile phone, the hard drive of the PC, Mac, whatever will be formatted.

I will think of more.

I was tempted to come up with a proper way of dealing with RLJers, but I think the embarassment of being inevitably caught by all the stronger riders is punishment enough. Anyone who trains or commutes in London will know what I am talking about.

daviesee

Ben6899 wrote:

The airline / passenger weight policy requires some additional thought. I can see where the right honourable posters are coming from, but we're in danger of punishing the wrong subset of passengers.

Example.

I am 5'11" and I weigh 11st. Perfectly reasonable.
The bloke next to me is 5'2" and he weighs 10st. Obese, too many pies and cans of Coke.

Should I really pay more than him for my seat on the 'plane?

Hence my proposal of a width gauge. You need more than one seat, you pay for more than one seat.
Then again, fatties* would get their feelings hurt. :roll:

*I am no race snake myself

walkingbootweather

EKE_38BPM wrote:

notsoblue wrote:

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Make airlines give all passengers a total weight allowance that includes the weight of the passenger, say 110kg. Lardarses would have to pay extra, beanpoles could take loads of luggage.

The laws of fuel consumption don't care if the weight is made up of 80kg of me and 30kg of luggage, but as things stand, the airlines allow me and Fatty McGorgeface sitting next to me carry the same amount of luggage even though they weigh more and therefore burn more fuel.

The downside of this is that Fatty McGorgeface may fly in only a banana hammock and not have any clothing when they reach their destination so will have to continue wearing that banana hammock.

Dude, its my glands. I can't help it.

Budgie smugglers for you then.

If notsoblue has an oversize gland as he claims, then I for one do not want to see him parading in budgie smugglers. :shock:

Just saying..

jedster

Chaka Umunna as his chancellor

Are you serious?

I'd make a rule that noone should be eligable to be a cabinet minister until they have actually done something that gave them some relevant experience. I have absolutely no doubt that Chaka Umunna is a very talented man. I just find it deeply offensive that either he or Milliband think that someone who's entire professional experience is about 3 years working as an employment lawyer is equipped to be (shadow) business secretary. When did we stop valuing people who have done stuff and know stuff... Go away, get some experience then put yourself forward for high office. Thanks. Chancellor? That's a sick joke,

I know this applies to other politicians in all parties - he is just the most striking example.

SimonAH

Back to flying. If your bag is larger than a stack of two laptops it must go in the hold. Drives me absolutely batty.

Oh yes, also on any flight shorter than four hours you may not recline your seat in economy.

DonDaddyD

jedster wrote:

Chaka Umunna as his chancellor

Are you serious?

I'd make a rule that noone should be eligable to be a cabinet minister until they have actually done something that gave them some relevant experience. I have absolutely no doubt that Chaka Umunna is a very talented man. I just find it deeply offensive that either he or Milliband think that someone who's entire professional experience is about 3 years working as an employment lawyer is equipped to be (shadow) business secretary. When did we stop valuing people who have done stuff and know stuff... Go away, get some experience then put yourself forward for high office. Thanks. Chancellor? That's a sick joke,

I know this applies to other politicians in all parties - he is just the most striking example.

It was his work as MP for Stretham that got him noticed. That and his political commentary prior to that. And not his career as a Lawyer.

byke68

IF I WERE PRIME MINISTER, I WOULD -

Bring back national service
Bring back the death penalty
Close the borders
Only pubs and off licence's to sell booze
Close shops on Sundays except newsagents
Scrap council tax
Make cyclist's pay road tax....................er,...hang on :P

woodnut

Renationalise all the utilities and the railways, and the bus companies. Any capitalist pig that complained, deport them to the US :twisted:

byke68

woodnut wrote:

Renationalise all the utilities and the railways, and the bus companies. Any capitalist pig that complained, deport them to the US :twisted:

+1 for that. They are not a service anymore, it's all about profit. My missus works in school catering, all the kids are "customers".

cyclingprop

byke68 wrote:

woodnut wrote:

Renationalise all the utilities and the railways, and the bus companies. Any capitalist pig that complained, deport them to the US :twisted:

+1 for that. They are not a service anymore, it's all about profit. My missus works in school catering, all the kids are "customers".

Up the state!

SimonAH

Make it entirely legal, when reversing out of a car park space, to put your foot down and cave in the side of any car with your rear bumper that moves to go past behind you once you are already clearly in motion and your reverse lights are on.

In a busy supermarket stopping with your trolley to send a text or chat to an aquaintance RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DOORWAY OR OTHER HIGH TRAFFIC AREA should result in the offender having to put back every item in their trolley onto the shelves and told not to return to the shop without a massive L plate on your back AS YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO BE ALLOWED A TROLLEY.

Guess where I had to go at lunchtime. I hate supermarkets :evil:

rick_chasey

No form of communication with other colleagues would be permitted in any office toilet space.

secretsam

1. Leave the NHS alone - just give them a ring-fenced sum, agreed on a sliding scale according to demographics and need, and let them get on with it
2. Make the BBC a statutory thingy so it can never be abolished, it's ace value for money
3. Change the tax system to make it less complex and fairer, and put a special 99% tax rate on anyone whose job is "Tax accountant", etc
4. Do something about obesity eg lard tax, proper food labelling - and f**k the food industry
5. Do something about binge drinking and stupidly cheap booze - and f**k the drinks industry (PS this would help pubs)
6. Make smoking even more expensive and ban it everywhere, making sparking up as socially unacceptable as farting in church
7. Ban all faith schools, all compulsory saying of prayers, etc and make society truly secular - and f**k the religious mob
8. Promote youth and stop the constant demonising of our young people - they are not all scum, many of them are wonderful people
9. Make everyone over the age of 65 take another driving test, and re-take every 3 years until they die
10. Make cycling and all cycling accessories VAT exempt (and put a mahoosive tax on gyms because they are vile and evil)

Vote for me, you know it makes sense.

clarkey cat

... humanely put down all old people, at birth.

daviesee

SimonAH wrote:

Make it entirely legal, when reversing out of a car park space, to put your foot down and cave in the side of any car with your rear bumper that moves to go past behind you once you are already clearly in motion and your reverse lights are on.

Some places make it a rule that you have to reverse into a parking space.
This makes sense as reversing in is safer than reversing out for the very reason that you have pointed out.
As you are going to have to reverse at some point it may as well be the safest one.

rick_chasey

daviesee wrote:

Some places make it a rule that you have to reverse into a parking space.
.

They are places I will never visit.

tailwindhome

I would have removed the VAT from all sports equipment for 2012

bigmat

SecretSam wrote:

1. Leave the NHS alone - just give them a ring-fenced sum, agreed on a sliding scale according to demographics and need, and let them get on with it
2. Make the BBC a statutory thingy so it can never be abolished, it's ace value for money
3. Change the tax system to make it less complex and fairer, and put a special 99% tax rate on anyone whose job is "Tax accountant", etc
4. Do something about obesity eg lard tax, proper food labelling - and f**k the food industry
5. Do something about binge drinking and stupidly cheap booze - and f**k the drinks industry (PS this would help pubs)
6. Make smoking even more expensive and ban it everywhere, making sparking up as socially unacceptable as farting in church
7. Ban all faith schools, all compulsory saying of prayers, etc and make society truly secular - and f**k the religious mob
8. Promote youth and stop the constant demonising of our young people - they are not all scum, many of them are wonderful people
9. Make everyone over the age of 65 take another driving test, and re-take every 3 years until they die
10. Make cycling and all cycling accessories VAT exempt (and put a mahoosive tax on gyms because they are vile and evil)

Vote for me, you know it makes sense.

Crikey, I think I like all of the above!

EKE_38BPM

daviesee wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

Make it entirely legal, when reversing out of a car park space, to put your foot down and cave in the side of any car with your rear bumper that moves to go past behind you once you are already clearly in motion and your reverse lights are on.

Some places make it a rule that you have to reverse into a parking space.
This makes sense as reversing in is safer than reversing out for the very reason that you have pointed out.
As you are going to have to reverse at some point it may as well be the safest one.

I usually reverse into parking spaces, but if I know I'll have to put stuff in the boot I will go in forwards. It seems stupid to make doing this against the rules.

Conversely, in some places in Yankland, you have to park nose in so that your rear licence plate is visible as you don't need to have plates on the front of the car.

EKE_38BPM

BigMat wrote:

SecretSam wrote:

1. Leave the NHS alone - just give them a ring-fenced sum, agreed on a sliding scale according to demographics and need, and let them get on with it
2. Make the BBC a statutory thingy so it can never be abolished, it's ace value for money
3. Change the tax system to make it less complex and fairer, and put a special 99% tax rate on anyone whose job is "Tax accountant", etc
4. Do something about obesity eg lard tax, proper food labelling - and f**k the food industry
5. Do something about binge drinking and stupidly cheap booze - and f**k the drinks industry (PS this would help pubs)
6. Make smoking even more expensive and ban it everywhere, making sparking up as socially unacceptable as farting in church
7. Ban all faith schools, all compulsory saying of prayers, etc and make society truly secular - and f**k the religious mob
8. Promote youth and stop the constant demonising of our young people - they are not all scum, many of them are wonderful people
9. Make everyone over the age of 65 take another driving test, and re-take every 3 years until they die
10. Make cycling and all cycling accessories VAT exempt (and put a mahoosive tax on gyms because they are vile and evil)

Vote for me, you know it makes sense.

Crikey, I think I like all of the above!

Snap. Where do I put m X?

CiB

As PM I'd make it a priority to make sweeping changes to the House Of Lords. So:

Out goes anyone with no background in a specialist field from which to draw on these experiences, when passing bills through the upper house.
OR
Out goes anyone who hasn't come from a background that has enormous wealth in the family already, so that there's little or no incentive to plunder the expenses system over & above normal expense requirements.
OR
Out goes anyone who doesn't have a good fifty years of life experience gained through managing or owning large enterprises, agricultural interests or large country houses.
OR
Out go those who don't represent the established church at a decent level - let's settle on Bishops. That's high enough.

Chuck out all those in the Upper House who are there only though donations to the incumbent PM or due to half a working life keeping one's head down and working up to the right level in the civil service. Let's have an upper house made up of the landed rich and titled who do what they do out of a sense of duty, not as a career path to a decent pension.

When that's all sorted, I'll ban this indecent business of yoofs wearing trousers pulled down far enough to reveal their underpants. Life sentence for any jonny caught doing that; capital offence on second conviction.

Di2 to be made available on the NHS.

Decent red wine to be on the school dinner menu as a matter of urgency, to teach the effin yoof of terday how to drink, and what to drink. Wicked? P!ss flavoured lager? Alclopopsicals? Three weeks inside surely.

rick_chasey

CiB wrote:

As PM I'd make it a priority to make sweeping changes to the House Of Lords. So:

Out goes anyone with no background in a specialist field from which to draw on these experiences, when passing bills through the upper house.
OR
Out goes anyone who hasn't come from a background that has enormous wealth in the family already, so that there's little or no incentive to plunder the expenses system over & above normal expense requirements.
OR
Out goes anyone who doesn't have a good fifty years of life experience gained through managing or owning large enterprises, agricultural interests or large country houses.
OR
Out go those who don't represent the established church at a decent level - let's settle on Bishops. That's high enough.

Chuck out all those in the Upper House who are there only though donations to the incumbent PM or due to half a working life keeping one's head down and working up to the right level in the civil service. Let's have an upper house made up of the landed rich and titled who do what they do out of a sense of duty, not as a career path to a decent pension.

The problem is, with you, I can't tell if you're joking...!

CiB

Rick Chasey wrote:

The problem is, with you, I can't tell if you're joking...!

Joking? I'm not laughing. Neither is anyone else. I would. Let's get back to a proper upper house in place of stooges & cash-paying entrants and those who lack life's wisdom by dint of being under a sensible age, which I'll put at something around late-40s. Sounds good to me.