Just for Fun: If I were Prime Minister, I would...

glauciaregina9

Make any motoring offence punishable by having the offending vehicle crushed to the size of a Terry's Chocolate Orange, then packaged & sent back to the owner at Easter...

simonaspinall

glauciaregina9 wrote:

Make any motoring offence punishable by having the offending vehicle crushed to the size of a Terry's Chocolate Orange, then packaged & sent back to the owner at Easter...

I like your ideas and would like to subscribe to more of them.

Would you add in it being delivered by a driver dressed in a giant flopsy the bunny suit as well?

pickylongstocking

Make it law for all cyclists to wear helmets

Make all cyclists take a cycling proficiency test to be allowed to rdie on the roads in London

I am a cyclist and have nothing against people who want to cycle on Londons roads (although I often think they are mad), I do however ever think that their are an extremely small minority who either choose to have a blatant disregard for their own safety or are too stupid to realise they are putting themselves in danger.

Please don't all attacke me as I believe 99.9% of cyclists have the skills and knowledge to cycle on the roads safely but the few who don't are giving cyclists a bad name. I drive through London everyday and sometime find myself gobsmacked at some peoples cycling.

Sorry rant over!

il_principe

Cycle thieves to have a hand removed. Victim to choose which hand.

asprilla

Not usre about PM, but if I were Home Secretary I'd urge the judicary to stop accepting flimsy excuses for not taking away people's licences. 'I need a car for work' is generally a lie; it makes it easier, but you don't need it.

MonkeyMonster

Il Principe wrote:

Cycle thieves to have a hand removed. Victim to choose which hand.

I'd vote for you

OldSkoolKona

MonkeyMonster wrote:

Il Principe wrote:

Cycle thieves to have a hand removed. Victim to choose which hand.

I'd vote for you

+1 to that. I particularly like the victim interaction with the choice of hand :twisted:

tailwindhome

Reduce the rate of Vat on 'sport's equipment' obv including bicycles to 0%

Jay dubbleU

Give Boris Johnson a knighthood - for being a lot cleverer than he looks

il_principe

TailWindHome wrote:

Reduce the rate of Vat on 'sport's equipment' obv including bicycles to 0%

+1. Top idea...

glauciaregina9

I'm liking the responses so far, nice mix of serious, silly, slightly mad... keep up the good work!!


I would also encourage motorists to place a hi-viz cover over their vehicles to make them more visible.

Well, they're always telling us cyclists we should...

ride_whenever

Sterilisation for criminals on the chance that it is nature over nurture...

Replace all the tarmac with bowling green grass, except for velodrome smooth wooden cycle lanes.

OldSkoolKona

glauciaregina9 wrote:

I would also encourage motorists to place a hi-viz cover over their vehicles to make them more visible.

Excellent

simonaspinall

All car offenders to have a day-glo yellow jumpsuit saying "I love kiddy fiddling" on and then be sent to do community service in a proper rough council estate

Kieran_Burns

The erection of large powered windmills that would ensure a tailwind on the way into work AND the way home each day.


The consstruction of cycle paths next to ALL railway lines.

Why?

'COS THEY'RE FLAT!

will3

Kieran_Burns wrote:

The consstruction of cycle paths next to ALL railway lines.

Why?

'COS THEY'RE FLAT!

This. They also tend to go directly in direction people want to travel. Unlike the NCN, which takes great delight in detouring over every hill in sight.

CiB

pickylongstocking wrote:

Make it law for all cyclists to wear helmets

Make all cyclists take a cycling proficiency test to be allowed to rdie on the roads in London

I am a cyclist and have nothing against people who want to cycle on Londons roads (although I often think they are mad), I do however ever think that their are an extremely small minority who either choose to have a blatant disregard for their own safety or are too stupid to realise they are putting themselves in danger.

Please don't all attacke me as I believe 99.9% of cyclists have the skills and knowledge to cycle on the roads safely but the few who don't are giving cyclists a bad name. I drive through London everyday and sometime find myself gobsmacked at some peoples cycling.

Sorry rant over!

Please go away. We've done helmets to death on here and for every evangelist who cares so much about fellow cyclists that they cannot let people lead their own lives and get on with a perfectly safe danger-free hobby, and and the 'I know someone who would be dead for sure if it weren't for his helmet' brigade who just know that it's simply not possible to tumble off a bike without suffering multiple skull fractures, there are plenty more of us who have survived various escapades over the years without being injured and who are quite happy to take our chances thanks very much. If you want to campaign for Londoners having to wear a bit of TV packaging on their heads go ahead, but don't come on here banging on about how everyone should wear one. 20 miles across empty country lanes does not warrant a helmet.

I'm hoping & praying that Cameron does what he says and opts for less government not more. Ridiciulous laws like mandatory helmet wearing are the complete opposite of what's needed. Go away.

Agent57

pickylongstocking wrote:

Make it law for all cyclists to wear helmets

You've lost my vote.

I'd make it law for car drivers and passengers to wear helmets. I'm sure far more people suffer serious head injuries in car collisions than ever do from bicycle accidents.

bigmat

CiB wrote:

pickylongstocking wrote:

Make it law for all cyclists to wear helmets

Make all cyclists take a cycling proficiency test to be allowed to rdie on the roads in London

I am a cyclist and have nothing against people who want to cycle on Londons roads (although I often think they are mad), I do however ever think that their are an extremely small minority who either choose to have a blatant disregard for their own safety or are too stupid to realise they are putting themselves in danger.

Please don't all attacke me as I believe 99.9% of cyclists have the skills and knowledge to cycle on the roads safely but the few who don't are giving cyclists a bad name. I drive through London everyday and sometime find myself gobsmacked at some peoples cycling.

Sorry rant over!

Please go away. We've done helmets to death on here and for every evangelist who cares so much about fellow cyclists that they cannot let people lead their own lives and get on with a perfectly safe danger-free hobby, and and the 'I know someone who would be dead for sure if it weren't for his helmet' brigade who just know that it's simply not possible to tumble off a bike without suffering multiple skull fractures, there are plenty more of us who have survived various escapades over the years without being injured and who are quite happy to take our chances thanks very much. If you want to campaign for Londoners having to wear a bit of TV packaging on their heads go ahead, but don't come on here banging on about how everyone should wear one. 20 miles across empty country lanes does not warrant a helmet.

I'm hoping & praying that Cameron does what he says and opts for less government not more. Ridiciulous laws like mandatory helmet wearing are the complete opposite of what's needed. Go away.

Bravo CiB, for once I agree with you (even as a helmet wearer...)
Also, if by your reckoning 0.01% of cyclists don't "have the skills and knowledge to cycle on the roads safely", why you are proposing compulsory cycling proficiency tests?!

pickylongstocking

WOW your a friendly bunch!

I will keep my opinions to myself in future.

davis

People who squeeze past you, or even run you off the road, will be dragged from their vehicles, and trebucheted into a tree.

will3

I would make all cars designed with the driving seat hanging out over the front bumper. I'm sure people would drive more carefully if they felt vulnerable.

bails87

Asprilla wrote:

Not usre about PM, but if I were Home Secretary I'd urge the judicary to stop accepting flimsy excuses for not taking away people's licences. 'I need a car for work' is generally a lie; it makes it easier, but you don't need it.

I've genuinely never understood that. "I committed a crime, but the punishment will inconvenience me, so don't punish me" :?
If I murdered someone and got sent to jail, that would make it hard for me to carry on doing my job. So that's one more thing I've got to lose, and so is part of the punishment. Which is part of the reason why I don't kill people, as well as just not being the 'murdering type'. I wouldn't say "this punishment makes me life slightly more inconvenient, so don't punish me!"

Anyway......

Anyone who uses the phrases 'Elf 'n' safety' or 'PC gone mad' should be tarred and feathered.

After 3 strikes, they are to be deliberately injured in a workplace ''accident' (for Elf n safety), or they'll be sacked (PC gone mad) and told it's because they're a man/woman/white/black/tall/short/fat/thin*.

*Delete as appropriate.

MonkeyMonster

ride_whenever wrote:

Sterilisation for criminals on the chance that it is nature over nurture...

and their offspring if they've already tainted the genepool.

CiB

pickylongstocking wrote:

WOW your a friendly bunch!

I will keep my opinions to myself in future.

Yeah. Do that. <pointedly omits smiley>

Helmet evangelists get on my wick. Worse are the ones that claim to be a cyclist but would like to see mandatory helmet wearing 'for the benefit of those that aren't so good'.


What would I like to see? Treat red lights as Left Turn Give Ways - proceed IF AND WHEN SAFE to do so.

Courts to treat death by car with the same vigour and zeal that the offences warrant.

Mobile phone use to be formally equated with drink-driving. All studies claim it's as bad. Put your money where your mouth is, new Minister For Transport (who he?)

Cyclists to be encouraged to bear arms when dealing with errant motorists & peds. Let's have the imbalance corrected - if they can nearly kill us, we should be able to have a go back. A small rifle would fit where the frame pump goes; a hand grenade in the bottle holder for situations that suggest its use.

The driving test to include cycling round a busy town, or better still round an artificial circuit where the 'drivers' are beligerent cyclists who have been cut up or injured by motorists [idea - qualify by having a post in the Rants thread]

Kieran_Burns

pickylongstocking wrote:

WOW your a friendly bunch!

I will keep my opinions to myself in future.

We ARE a friendly bunch, but your suggestion directly imposes upon personal liberty based upon an inconclusive argument.

Bit like 'man made climate change' which is something else I would make illegal to mention without at least being able to explain the hockey stick argument coherently.

Kieran_Burns

Ooh ooh!!!


I got another one!


Leading on from CiBs uber-rant.


All cyclists to be armed with paintball guns!

pickylongstocking

My apologies, I have obviously touched a nerve. My only justification is that if making all cyclists using the road wear a helmet then if even one life is saved then it is worth it?

It only takes a moron not paying attention to knock you off your bike and that could well be it for you.

Didn't mean to rattle any cages

glauciaregina9

davis wrote:

People who squeeze past you, or even run you off the road, will be dragged from their vehicles, and trebucheted into a tree.

Niiiiiice. The use of medieval weapons would add a fun yet slightly mad element to government.

glauciaregina9

will3 wrote:

I would make all cars designed with the driving seat hanging out over the front bumper. I'm sure people would drive more carefully if they felt vulnerable.

....or, where you'd normally beexpecting an air-bag, a big rusty spike in the centre of the steering wheel

il_principe

pickylongstocking wrote:

Make it law for all cyclists to wear helmets

Make all cyclists take a cycling proficiency test to be allowed to rdie on the roads in London

I am a cyclist and have nothing against people who want to cycle on Londons roads (although I often think they are mad), I do however ever think that their are an extremely small minority who either choose to have a blatant disregard for their own safety or are too stupid to realise they are putting themselves in danger.

Please don't all attacke me as I believe 99.9% of cyclists have the skills and knowledge to cycle on the roads safely but the few who don't are giving cyclists a bad name. I drive through London everyday and sometime find myself gobsmacked at some peoples cycling.

Sorry rant over!

Sheesh. I need to re-evaluate my life choices. I commute in London without a helmet. I must be really really stupid. Although I have managed to master the art of typing ans spelling...

Hang on, you 'Drive through London everyday.' Are you insane? Get on your bike FFS.