Silly commuting racing

ChrisLS

...I think this may be the case Woodford2barbican. I think Guinea has overstepped the line here...punishment or a fine or maybe even a ban...this type of riding needs dealing with and must be stopped IMHO...

victor ludorum

woodford2barbican wrote:

guinea wrote:

So, I managed to get my most satisfying overtake so far, but at the cost of an extra half mile on my journey. It was worth it.

I thought it was cheating to extend your journey to gain a scalp?

Surely once you pass your turn off you are no longer a commuter - but are now out for a training ride and thus no longer a participant in 'Silly Commuter Racing'.

Do we need a ruling on this?

Tricky. If I remember correctly, the rule is 'any valid route to or from work.' so taking a slightly longer route is not necessarily out.

I take a route which is longer in terms of absolute distance but which saves me having to negotiate endless stop-start traffic lights on narrow roads in favour of the Marylebone/Euston Road drag strip. I also sometimes take in the utterly unnecessary, Hammersmith-Kensington-Hyde Park, Edgware route, because it affords me the opportunity to pootle through the park engaging in no-handed posing.

As much as I applaud guinea's combativeness and work ethic, I'm not sure that a gratuitous 1/2 mile for an overtake obeys the letter of the law, even though it is entirely in accordance with the spirit of the Game.

Opinions?

fury21

Did I miss it or did no one notice that Victoria Pendleton plays the Game?

What's the FCN on that shopper, I wonder... :shock:

Totalnewbie

victor ludorum wrote:

Totalnewbie wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

But he used his gears too much, like a woman, and seemed to get lost at Lambeth Bridge roundabout. We too different lines in,

Ahem, this woman doesn't change gears any more than she has to, DT shifters ensure this!

Although the bloody things did decide to change themselves up a gear all on their own as I pulled away at Lambeth roundabout last night, giving me a bit of a surprise. Steel frame flex, apparently.

Old skool... respect is due.

Old skool indeed...frame was rescued from a tip and currently enjoying a new life. Since the photo it is sporting an equally old-skool saddle (like a Brooks but with a gert big cutout).

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/ ... lipse3.jpg

Not normally a fan of such girly dropped top tubes, but I make an exception for this as it's an elegant mixte.

And also...so that is YOU who's always riding around no-hands in Hyde Park!

ChrisLS

...doe this mean the Game will be an Olympic sport? :shock:

Greg T

It's like TOP GUN....

You remember the scene, Maverick is dog fighting Jester the head instructor at the Miramar Fighter Weapons School. Jester is coming off second best and knows it. In order to save his scalp Jester dives for the "hard floor" the minimum altitude that the exercise runs over. In effect if he get's below it he's out of the game....

Ignoring these orders Maverick chases Jester down and just as they break through the floor gets his hit on jester

"Yee haaa - Jester's Dead" shrills Goose - an early appearance of the bald guy from ER years ago - Dr Green?

Anyhooo... on debrief Maverick's kill is disallowed as it occured below the hard floor. The audience is entirely in sympathy with Maverick but realises the Old Man's (Viper - flew with his dead dad - all round top boy) playing hard ball with Maverick for his own good..... You see both sides - genius.....

So in this case, by the letter of the law our hero should have pulled up and put it down to experience - next man mon ami, next time - but who will blame the eager young fighter from pressing on and bagging the scalp......

So no scalp. (Bad cop)




But you do get to bang a young Kelly McGillias later so it's not all bad

Greg T

fury21 wrote:

Did I miss it or did no one notice that Victoria Pendleton plays the Game?

What's the FCN on that shopper, I wonder... :shock:

Jaysus...

VP wrote:

No one can beat me back from Tescos....

Yes, I’ve got a shopping bike with the big panniers that hang over the wheels at the back.

I must admit I do get the urge to pedal fast on it, just like on a racing bike — but because it’s so heavy it doesn’t respond in the same way!”

She's a shark....

Next time I get done by a brunette on a shopper I'm going to claim it was VP....

Please God.

pst88

Greg T wrote:

pst88 wrote:

FCN 4 or 6... depending on whether my singlespeed is tarty and I'm a real man... or if I'm just a fakenger. How do you decide between fcn 3 (proper rapid single speed) and fcn 5 (faux single speed)? I'd like to claim 5 as my starting point just so I have more targets.

Moral Dilema!

Post the following

Tyre colour
Number of brakes
Type of brakes
Type of handlebar
Gearing

We'll consider your outline "shape" carefully and then label you a tart and 3.....

So what's the score?

Tyre colour: black (the whole bike is black so that could count as matching)
Number of brakes: 2
Type of brakes: tekro dual pivot calipers, SRAM carbon fibre TT brake levers
Type of handlebar: bullhorn (doesn't count as aero does it?)
Gearing: 46x17

Greg T

pst88 wrote:

Tyre colour: black (the whole bike is black so that could count as matching)
Number of brakes: 2
Type of brakes: bog standard dual pivot road brakes... but with carbon fibre TT brake levers
Type of handlebar: bullhorn (doesn't count as aero does it?)
Gearing: 46x17

Oooooghhhh

All black is a bit "special" but not definitive.....
2 Brakes = non tart
Carbon Fibre Levers = tart
Bullhorn bars = tart
Gearing is middling to gently stiff......

I'd say this is to the tart end of the middle ground but too tight to call....

We need a tie breaker to make the call - where are the arbiters of all things single geared?

victor ludorum

Totalnewbie wrote:

And also...so that is YOU who's always riding around no-hands in Hyde Park!

Ahem... it is a possibility.

The opportunity to ride no-handed almost all the way around the park is about the only reason I take that route.

My commuter is a yellow, lime green and celeste Bianchi, so it should be pretty obvious if it is me... :oops:

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

pst88 wrote:

Tyre colour: black (the whole bike is black so that could count as matching)
Number of brakes: 2
Type of brakes: bog standard dual pivot road brakes... but with carbon fibre TT brake levers
Type of handlebar: bullhorn (doesn't count as aero does it?)
Gearing: 46x17

Oooooghhhh

All black is a bit "special" but not definitive.....
2 Brakes = non tart
Carbon Fibre Levers = tart
Bullhorn bars = tart
Gearing is middling to gently stiff......

I'd say this is to the tart end of the middle ground but too tight to call....

We need a tie breaker to make the call - where are the arbiters of all things single geared?

To be honest, my first thought was, 'tart', but I agree it's middle ground rather than flaming...

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

fury21 wrote:

Did I miss it or did no one notice that Victoria Pendleton plays the Game?

What's the FCN on that shopper, I wonder... :shock:

She's a shark....

Next time I get done by a brunette on a shopper I'm going to claim it was VP....

Please God.

Oh boys... I think we're going to need a bigger boat.

Greg T

victor ludorum wrote:

My commuter is a yellow, lime green and celeste Bianchi, so it should be pretty obvious if it is me... :oops:

Great Big Tart

woodford2barbican

victor ludorum wrote:

Greg T wrote:

pst88 wrote:

Tyre colour: black (the whole bike is black so that could count as matching)
Number of brakes: 2
Type of brakes: bog standard dual pivot road brakes... but with carbon fibre TT brake levers
Type of handlebar: bullhorn (doesn't count as aero does it?)
Gearing: 46x17

Oooooghhhh

All black is a bit "special" but not definitive.....
2 Brakes = non tart
Carbon Fibre Levers = tart
Bullhorn bars = tart
Gearing is middling to gently stiff......

I'd say this is to the tart end of the middle ground but too tight to call....

We need a tie breaker to make the call - where are the arbiters of all things single geared?

To be honest, my first thought was, 'tart', but I agree it's middle ground rather than flaming...

I think the bars swing it. Tart.

pst88

pst88 wrote:

FCN 4 or 6... depending on whether my singlespeed is tarty and I'm a real man... or if I'm just a fakenger. How do you decide between fcn 3 (proper rapid single speed) and fcn 5 (faux single speed)? I'd like to claim 5 as my starting point just so I have more targets.

Greg T wrote:

I'd say this is to the tart end of the middle ground but too tight to call....

We need a tie breaker to make the call - where are the arbiters of all things single geared?

victor ludorum wrote:

To be honest, my first thought was, 'tart', but I agree it's middle ground rather than flaming...

woodford2barbican wrote:

I think the bars swing it. Tart.

It's as I feared. After a damning judgement from a jury of my peers I must now admit my official FCN is 4 (base FCN 3, +1 for baggies). No more taking it easy on the way home then.

jedster

I think the bars swing it. Tart.

well I agree but in any case, carbon brake levers??? Surely any carbon on your commuter (with the probable exception of forks but I'll take a ruling here) is tarty?

Or am I a luddite?

On that note, can I just congratualte Totalnewbie for riding a PROPER commuting bike. Guards, rack, reckon those tyres are at least 28s - it's all good and a welcome balance to all this talk of carbon brake levers and (shudder) white hubs...

victor ludorum

pst88 wrote:

It's as I feared. After a damning judgement from a jury of my peers I must now admit my official FCN is 4 (base FCN 3, +1 for baggies). No more taking it easy on the way home then.

Hey, at least the response to your description of your bike wasn't an enormous picture of a big fruit tart and the words 'Great Big Tart', as mine was... what really hurts is that I know it's true.

Bird34

OK, late in the day I know but, the link was forwarded and I must respond............

As a “burd” on a tourer, with panniers, some lycra, no basket, a weekend road habit and an 18 mile commute can I ask where I fit into the food chain? Also, do girls get extra points for burning of boys on decent bikes while wearing a dress? Ditto, while wearing a dress and heels and riding a folder?

Also, I’m perplexed on reaching Battersea and the land of properly annoying hold me up traffic lights why it’s assumed by a breed of boys, mostly in pulled to mid calf sports socks, that I must be slow? They bustle through to park in front of me and then have to be passed, why are they doing this? Should those socks instigate an altogether new category in the food chain? “Hybrid, panniers, rust, bad leisure wear, worse socks” - I’d suggest between shoppers and shoppers with baskets?



No, I don’t have hairy legs, before anyone asks………..

Greg T

Welcome Birdy.

I'm thinking you start a 6, +1 for your panniers... = 7...

However....

Dress, Heels and Folder must be low teens in anyone's book....... that's all I'm going to say on the matter.... for now...

We have made no allowance for burds on boys action, mainly due to the fact that until recently we were an ascetic brotherhood who swapped thigh measurements (quite normally) and gobbed off.....

You can help us refine this thinking...

Do you book the win when you toast a dude just because he's a guy? At what stage does the "guyness" wear off? Also do any other burds count or do you follow standard scoring for claiming the win....

You aren't Vicki Pendleton are you?

Edited to add.....

Long Rugby socks are a dead giveaway....... +1, however, they are always worn with other non cycling kit so would this be double counting?

Me - I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a vinegar doused spoon than have a dude in long socks scalp me.

DonDaddyD

The first page of this thread has to be the greatest thing I've read online. Ever. It's like a meeting of the collective cycling communters minds. It is so very very true.

I try to chase down everything I see, I'm a 'Roady with hairy legs', previously I was a MTB on Slick or Hybrid depending on how you want to look at the bike (Giant Escape M2). But as I overtake I'm sure to sit back down on the seat in a upright position and compose myself showing no sign of breathing whatsoever.

Time to share my most annoyingly frustrating and devasting secret about commuter racing:

When I used my old bike (Giant M2 Mountain Frame, slick tyres, rigid fork) I was going some speed along Streatham highstreet (London) near Odeon cinema and there she was sitting down, powering past me. The disbelief! She must have been a professional at secret commute racing. I couldn't see a grimace or heavy panting or nothing. I was so shocked I checked her bike for gears, despite knowing instinctively that BMX's don't have gears but disbelief had me check anyway...

What's worse is that I couldn't/didn't catch her... before I had to turn of on the way to work, though secretly I was glad.

I got burned by a bloody BMX, she was in a dress and shoes, presumably on the way to work.
:oops:

Greg T

DonDaddyD wrote:

I got burned by a bloody BMX, she was in a dress and shoes, presumably on the way to work. :oops:

Well look on the bright side.

Since she reamed you a new arse it must only take you half as long to have a crap in the morning....

In the name of all that is holy how did a guy on a slicked up MTB get done by a bird in heels and a dress on a BMX?

The laws of physics state that your big wheels and gears should have carried the day...

I can only presume that it was cosmic Karma getting you for some prior win. You hadn't dated Keira Knightley the previous night had you?

Totalnewbie

Why thank you jedster. I'm no tart, me. And I don't end up with a line of grime up my back if it starts to rain. Practical she may be, but I still think she's a vision of 531 loveliness.

Re men vs women, I've had this discussion elsewhere. Annoying as it is, most men just do have bigger hearts, lungs, and thighs than women, so the average man is likely to be able to go faster than the average woman. Hence a bigger victory for us if we pass one. IMHO.

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

Welcome Birdy.

You aren't Vicki Pendleton are you?

Easy tiger... you haven't been cutting your EPO with viagra have you? Or is it just the mating season?

Greg T wrote:

Edited to add.....

Long Rugby socks are a dead giveaway....... +1, however, they are always worn with other non cycling kit so would this be double counting?

Me - I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a vinegar doused spoon than have a dude in long socks scalp me.

I think bird34 is referring to mid calf sports socks a la Lance Armstrong, only with considerably less performance.

c12345

Anyone else started FCN'ing whilst not on your bike?
in the checkout queue at tescos? walking down the high street? waiting at the bar in a pub? trying to get a seat on the train?

... or is it just me?


PS - I play netball too, but I still have hairy legs like a man.

victor ludorum

Totalnewbie wrote:

Re men vs women, I've had this discussion elsewhere. Annoying as it is, most men just do have bigger hearts, lungs, and thighs than women, so the average man is likely to be able to go faster than the average woman. Hence a bigger victory for us if we pass one. IMHO.

I'm glad a woman said that first, so I'm not a chauvinist anymore...

Yep, it is generally assumed that the average man will be faster than the average woman. Early on I claimed a win against a kitted-up speed-racer lady, but had it handicapped to the equivalent of a hairy roadie on hairy roadie victory - though she actually had frictionless surfaces... by that measure, on the folder, just about anything male but the lowest on a basketed shopper is your happy hunting ground.

As with all FCNs and Game wins, the ultimate arbiter is your own soul. You know deep down if it was a worthy competitor you just stitched up like a kipper. You'll also know if you're slumming it.

Of course, the fragile state of the male ego is such that even bottom feeders are likely to feel aggrieved at being scalped by a lady. So you have opened up the possibility of the all new sub-game of 'man-bagging' where you get to award yourself points for the audible retraction of testicles into abdominal cavities as you glide past.

DonDaddyD

Greg T wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

I got burned by a bloody BMX, she was in a dress and shoes, presumably on the way to work. :oops:

Well look on the bright side.

Since she reamed you a new ars* it must only take you half as long to have a crap in the morning....

In the name of all that is holy how did a guy on a slicked up MTB get done by a bird in heels and a dress on a BMX?

The laws of physics state that your big wheels and gears should have carried the day...

I can only presume that it was cosmic Karma getting you for some prior win. You hadn't dated Keira Knightley the previous night had you?

So that's why I'm out of the house earlier in the morning...

I simply cannot explain how it happened except that I know it did happen.

I've since bought a roadie. I've only been passed once on my route home and that was buy a roadie with hairless legs.

Greg T

c12345 wrote:

Anyone else started FCN'ing whilst not on your bike?
in the checkout queue at tescos? walking down the high street? waiting at the bar in a pub? trying to get a seat on the train?

... or is it just me?


PS - I play netball too, but I still have hairy legs like a man.

It is a danger that the gamne starts to extend to other aspects of your life.

Last night I found myself standing up in my living room shouting at my wife "HOW DOES IT FEEL"

as I had managed to drink my cup of tea before her.

I think it's not entirely healthy.

As for hairy legs and Netball - hell in these crazy times who knows what what, CP plays netball, he's got a beard, Roadies shave their legs, some of them must be blokes, who know what you are, hairy legs means nothing.

Clever Pun

c12345 wrote:

Anyone else started FCN'ing whilst not on your bike?
in the checkout queue at tescos? walking down the high street? waiting at the bar in a pub? trying to get a seat on the train?

... or is it just me?


PS - I play netball too, but I still have hairy legs like a man.

yes and yes... good man

you from NZ or Oz by any chance?

with the burds issue, maybe they get points if they scalp a bloke with the same FCN?? obviously in 4- region all gets are off as it's every man for himself... burds will have to deal with that wording

Greg T

c12345 wrote:

Anyone else started FCN'ing whilst not on your bike?
in the checkout queue at tescos? walking down the high street? waiting at the bar in a pub? trying to get a seat on the train?

... or is it just me?


PS - I play netball too, but I still have hairy legs like a man.

It is a danger that the gamne starts to extend to other aspects of your life.

Last night I found myself standing up in my living room shouting at my wife "HOW DOES IT FEEL"

as I had managed to drink my cup of tea before her.

I think it's not entirely healthy.

As for hairy legs and Netball - hell in these crazy times who knows what what, CP plays netball, he's got a beard, Roadies shave their legs, some of them must be blokes, who knows what you are, hairy legs means nothing.

Clever Pun

Greg T wrote:

hairy legs means nothing.

Dude!!! think about that you're saying

also... go for the cap etc as once you're at 4 or below it doesn't matter.... unless you don't have the cajones?? and like Greg66 are happy in your tea racing retirement