Silly commuting racing

greg66_tri_v2.0

cjcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Anyone else think the traffic was absolutely shocking this morning? It's days like these you really wonder what possesses people to commute into central London by car.

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

Yuk. My sympathies.

In fact, there was more discomfort to the trip than might first appear.

The driver was a nice bloke, but wow, was he a big fat geezer. He spilled over the handbrake, gearstick, and onto the passenger seat. and his hands were so fat there was no definition in them.

And there was a curious smell in the car. Of an old, unwashed, and perpetually damp dishcloth.

I think that might have been him.

So yes, yuk. On so many levels.

Bassjunkieuk

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Anyone else think the traffic was absolutely shocking this morning? It's days like these you really wonder what possesses people to commute into central London by car.

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

Yuk. My sympathies.

In fact, there was more discomfort to the trip than might first appear.

The driver was a nice bloke, but wow, was he a big fat geezer. He spilled over the handbrake, gearstick, and onto the passenger seat. and his hands were so fat there was no definition in them.

And there was a curious smell in the car. Of an old, unwashed, and perpetually damp dishcloth.

I think that might have been him.

So yes, yuk. On so many levels.

:shock: Did he actually manage to get out of the car at all? That smell doesn't sound good either - don't suppose there was any banging or shouting from the boot was there?

lost_in_thought

Bassjunkieuk wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Anyone else think the traffic was absolutely shocking this morning? It's days like these you really wonder what possesses people to commute into central London by car.

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

Yuk. My sympathies.

In fact, there was more discomfort to the trip than might first appear.

The driver was a nice bloke, but wow, was he a big fat geezer. He spilled over the handbrake, gearstick, and onto the passenger seat. and his hands were so fat there was no definition in them.

And there was a curious smell in the car. Of an old, unwashed, and perpetually damp dishcloth.

I think that might have been him.

So yes, yuk. On so many levels.

:shock: Did he actually manage to get out of the car at all? That smell doesn't sound good either - don't suppose there was any banging or shouting from the boot was there?

Onto the passenger seat?!

Urrrrrgh gross! That is some serious spillage! :shock:

il_principe

Fcuking mini-cabbies, disgusting trolls the lot of 'em. Could this one actually drive? Most of them can't, or appear to have passed their test in Naples.

lost_in_thought

jashburnham wrote:

Fcuking mini-cabbies, disgusting trolls the lot of 'em. Could this one actually drive? Most of them can't, or appear to have passed their test in Naples.

Forget 'could he drive', could he actually rotate the steering wheel?

Feltup

jedster wrote:

Feltup,

winter hill? THat's my neck of the woods. Don't think I've seen you on the road. Where, when to you commute?

J

Twyford to Marlow in the morning but I often do the Henley route on the way home. Usually around Winter Hill about 8.30ish.

How about you? You brave the hair pin of death too?

Clever Pun

train this morning, but I've been off sick the last 3 days and I'm at a gig tonight

piss poor cycling week for me

Littigator

jashburnham wrote:

Fcuking mini-cabbies, disgusting trolls the lot of 'em. Could this one actually drive? Most of them can't, or appear to have passed their test in Naples.

Speaking of Naples...well kind of anyway, has anyone else noticed how many scooters seem to have foriegn licensed plates these days, clearly in an attempt to dodge any law enforcement and given the way most of them ride (like their commute is a frickin computer game) they need all the law-dodging help they can get the incompetent feckwits!!! :evil:

greg66_tri_v2.0

lost_in_thought wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

Fcuking mini-cabbies, disgusting trolls the lot of 'em. Could this one actually drive? Most of them can't, or appear to have passed their test in Naples.

Forget 'could he drive', could he actually rotate the steering wheel?

I think he just lent over and let the car go with him.

He wasn't that keen to get out. Getting out of a car is a major operation for me at the mo - one foot out, other foot out, both hands grab some above my head, brace, pull, etc. And then I sort of drift the first ten meters at a glacial rate.

I still managed to get out and walk around the car to his side to pay him before he got halfway out.

Maybe I'd rather have my back than be that fat.

Greg T

Greg66 wrote:

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

I did point out some time ago that you were a benefits cheat - and now we see the true colours emerge.

Do you do the airport as well? If you can get me to Heathrow for under 20 quid you've got the gig.

lost_in_thought

Greg66 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

Fcuking mini-cabbies, disgusting trolls the lot of 'em. Could this one actually drive? Most of them can't, or appear to have passed their test in Naples.

Forget 'could he drive', could he actually rotate the steering wheel?

I think he just lent over and let the car go with him.

He wasn't that keen to get out. Getting out of a car is a major operation for me at the mo - one foot out, other foot out, both hands grab some above my head, brace, pull, etc. And then I sort of drift the first ten meters at a glacial rate.

I still managed to get out and walk around the car to his side to pay him before he got halfway out.

Maybe I'd rather have my back than be that fat.

Not by rotating the wheel with his fatty belly but by affecting the trajectory of the car with weight distribution and gravity. Rather like a skateboard. Suspension is only so good.

You can steer a cessna like that. True story.

itboffin

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Anyone else think the traffic was absolutely shocking this morning? It's days like these you really wonder what possesses people to commute into central London by car.

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

Yuk. My sympathies.

In fact, there was more discomfort to the trip than might first appear.

The driver was a nice bloke, but wow, was he a big fat geezer. He spilled over the handbrake, gearstick, and onto the passenger seat. and his hands were so fat there was no definition in them.

And there was a curious smell in the car. Of an old, unwashed, and perpetually damp dishcloth.

I think that might have been him.

So yes, yuk. On so many levels.

Admit it you pervert it turned you on

martinc

great thread recommended to me by cjcp.

been chuckling along for a while .. no great dramas of my own worth telling although this week has been fun....

monday - got scalped twice on embankment by a bloke on his hybrid wearing trainers and xmas snowman socks! embarrassing to say the least when i'm on a carbon steed.

tues - puncture going in. ride like the wind going home.

this morning - puncture. again. this time in richmond park. then my first ever roadrage fit. bloke turning left on lower richmond road without indicating. i slam on anchors just in time and tell him to use his indicators - he tells me to fuck off. i lose it.. get off bike and stand in middle of road in front of his car ranting about his tonne of metal trying to kill me etc. we tell each other to fuck off. as cjcp said, traffic was murder but i was in my own little world of red mist.
normal service resumes tomorrow.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Greg T wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

I did point out some time ago that you were a benefits cheat - and now we see the true colours emerge.

Do you do the airport as well? If you can get me to Heathrow for under 20 quid you've got the gig.

Show me the one way ticket matey, and I'll get you there for £15...

Coriander

Greg66 wrote:

Greg T wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

I did point out some time ago that you were a benefits cheat - and now we see the true colours emerge.

Do you do the airport as well? If you can get me to Heathrow for under 20 quid you've got the gig.

Show me the one way ticket matey, and I'll get you there for £15...

greg66_tri_v2.0

itboffin wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Anyone else think the traffic was absolutely shocking this morning? It's days like these you really wonder what possesses people to commute into central London by car.

Yeah, I did.

From the discomfort of my minicab.

Yuk. My sympathies.

In fact, there was more discomfort to the trip than might first appear.

The driver was a nice bloke, but wow, was he a big fat geezer. He spilled over the handbrake, gearstick, and onto the passenger seat. and his hands were so fat there was no definition in them.

And there was a curious smell in the car. Of an old, unwashed, and perpetually damp dishcloth.

I think that might have been him.

So yes, yuk. On so many levels.

Admit it you pervert it turned you on

Well, obviously I stiffened up quite a bit while I was in the car. Obviously.

Bassjunkieuk

welcome Martinc, glad to have another player on board :-) Please note we expect all new members to read the ENTIRE thread and there will be a test at the end

I had a bit of an excursion this afternoon as I managed to wangle an excuse to ride the bike for work! Had a small repair to carry out on a server that is apparently notouriously difficult to locate at a remote site - by remote I only mean about 2 miles away from our office but it's near a hospital and all the parking pays are pay n display which I hate!!!!

Anyhow on way home I stopped behing a BMW, doing a very good (for me) trackstand, only for them to fall asleep as the lights change, I didn't put a foot down but do remember thinking "well hurry up and move!"
Consequently we both miss the next next set of lights and the tw4t pulls half into the ASL. I then assume my usual position (when someone does this) in the middle of his headlights and make no effort what so ever to get a quick getaway as the lights change :twisted:

Bassjunkieuk

Greg66 wrote:

Well, obviously I stiffened up quite a bit while I was in the car. Obviously.

Far.To.Much.Detail.

greg66_tri_v2.0

First, welcome to the thread, martinc

Now that's out the way,

martinc wrote:

monday - got scalped twice on embankment by a bloke on his hybrid wearing trainers and xmas snowman socks! embarrassing to say the least when i'm on a carbon steed.

FCUK ME! I know confession is good for the soul, but FCUK ME!! You'd be better off having told us that you'd been prison-raped. Xmas snowman socks? :shock: A hybrid? :shock: TWICE? :shock:

And all the while you're on a carbon bike? :shock: :shock: :shock:

You do get that SCR involves racing, right? It's what the "R" in SCR stands for. You're not supposed to be pootling along in your little world saying hello to the trees and flowers while every just-about-ably-bodied fcuker skins you alive and laughs at your parentage.

M
T
F
U.

martinc

greg66,

i know, i know. the first time i convinced myself he was just drafting a lorry, the second time i was too busy pissing myself laughing at the humiliation.

i think today's road-rage may have been post traumatic stress disorder.



nice pair of bikes too sir.

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

Now that's out the way,

martinc wrote:

monday - got scalped twice on embankment by a bloke on his hybrid wearing trainers and xmas snowman socks! embarrassing to say the least when i'm on a carbon steed.

FCUK ME! I know confession is good for the soul, but FCUK ME!! You'd be better off having told us that you'd been prison-raped. Xmas snowman socks? :shock: A hybrid? :shock: TWICE? :shock:

I have seen this chap more than once. He's as quick as anyone I've seen on a hybrid. That's not what keeps him on your radar though. This is achieved by his rather liberal interpretation of the meaning of a red light...

itboffin

Greg66 I thought you'd put that whole prison experience behind you, be strong move on

cjcp

martinc wrote:

i lose it.. get off bike and stand in middle of road in front of his car ranting about his tonne of metal trying to kill me etc. .

Welcome, sir! Been wondering when you'd appear.

And about the above: :shock:

Clever Pun

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

Fcuking mini-cabbies, disgusting trolls the lot of 'em. Could this one actually drive? Most of them can't, or appear to have passed their test in Naples.

Forget 'could he drive', could he actually rotate the steering wheel?

I think he just lent over and let the car go with him.

He wasn't that keen to get out. Getting out of a car is a major operation for me at the mo - one foot out, other foot out, both hands grab some above my head, brace, pull, etc. And then I sort of drift the first ten meters at a glacial rate.

I still managed to get out and walk around the car to his side to pay him before he got halfway out.

Maybe I'd rather have my back than be that fat.

Not by rotating the wheel with his fatty belly but by affecting the trajectory of the car with weight distribution and gravity. Rather like a skateboard. Suspension is only so good.

You can steer a cessna like that. True story.

I got a good mini cab story

In Youngstown Ohio.... fat dude with possibly the greasiest mullet known to mammal. gives us a lift in a piece of shit car with the front seat busted up so bad it lent well into the back there were stains everywhere and only the passenger door worked... sort of. He dropped us off where we needed to go... the next day he picked us up again (he was the only 'cab' in town) and we found out why the front seat was soo busted up, his amorphous lump of a wife got out of the car and I had to sit in that overly warm slightly damp seat... it still makes my skin crawl now.

that was some amazing backwater cackhole let me tell you...

edhornby

I know that it's the stealth commuters who can turn out to be the fastest, in the same way you'd never underestimate he old dudes ridings tourers.....

but yeah

MTFU

martinc

cheers cjcp, as you know i'm usually a very serene commuter- hence being scalped by the snowman! i think the combo of the punctures, the snowman and the driver's arrogance just tipped me over to the dark side :twisted:

Feltup

Another taxi experience but this time in Nottingham.

There was a massive line for taxis which gave plenty of time to get chatting to the people around whilst we froze our arses off. I was stood next to a lass, nice looking and well dressed. As the conversation progressed and the line got shorter it turned out she was heading very close to where I lived so we decided to share a ride.

Eventually our taxi arrived and off we set, chatting away, she was a good laugh. After a couple of miles she says " mind if we make a slight detour, I need to drop some money off at my pimps ". "ERRR OK" I say and soon after pull up outside the pimps house. She gets out and runs to the door at which point taxi driver and I exchange looks which say " Well I didn't see that coming!"

A couple of minutes later she jumps back in and we continue the conversation as before. Really nice lass and seemed very intelligent, always wondered why?


Oh and no I didn't!

martinc

excuse my newbieness but MTFU?

WTF?

jonginge

Ah, you need to do some background reading. See previous 423 pages.







Or:
http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtop ... t=12593071

gb155

I got WONED tonight by a shaved rodie, Really it was STUPID to think anything else would happen but I gave it my best shot, ended with EPIC FAIL but hey, maybe next time.

Maybe I will set off REALLY late for work in the morning, That should up my pace