Silly commuting racing

Kieran_Burns

Sympathy = long word beginning with 'S' which no one knows the meaning of

jedster

Well I'm normally short of proper competition on my route (slow, rljing bromptons mostly) but this morning I got a sniff of the real thing only to be left a little disappointed.

I was making a left turn onto Bayswater Road and had to give way to a group of 3 cyclists, all looking like they were carrying pretensions. I rather thought that by the time I'd got back up to speed they would be long gone but had to be worth a shot so I was out of the saddle hauling my way up to speed. I closed the gap quite sharpish and took a moment to assess the competition. At the back was a tall bloke on a single speed MTB, but a Santa Cruz I note, that's MTB aristocracy for you. Next was someone on a fairly old school looking fixie and in the front was an unresolved fakenger/courier conundrum.

That stretch of road is dead flat and it just seemed to suit my gear this morning, I was able to smoothly pick up the pace in the saddle and easily passed the nearest two. I didn't get a good look at old-school fixie but there was a definite look of disappointment on the face of Mr Santa Cruz - yes read those full-length mudguards, rack and panier and weep.

So that just left my fakenger/courier issue to resolve. Fixie check, silly little handlebars check, rolled-up jeans check, hoody check. Hmm. The frame was purple. Now the frame on my stumpy is purple but it's a deep hue with lots of dirt, you could mistake it for navy in certain light. His was a colour that just said '70s to me - bright bold metallic purple - truely nasty. And I think (although it seems difficult to believe with hindsight) that he his deep rims were purple too. Shudder.

He was riding with that style that certain fixie riders seem to adopt - preserving speed at all costs with no slowing as hazards appear and no shoulder checking - just swing out and hope that following traffic makes room. Mind you, in his case, if he had shoulder checked he would just have got a view of the inside of his hood. The complete tw@t.

I gave him plenty of room, waited for a section free from parked cars, shoulder checked and left him in my wake, never to be seen again. He was spinning like a hamster as I passed.

Horrible bike, mate, and a word from the wise, get a proper gear on that thing.

J

jedster

I don't think Greg would get on with that Kona - it's only got one gear. Otherwise spot on.

lost_in_thought

jedster wrote:

I was making a left turn onto Bayswater Road and had to give way to a group of 3 cyclists, all looking like they were carrying pretensions.

Love it!!

jedster wrote:

He was riding with that style that certain fixie riders seem to adopt - preserving speed at all costs with no slowing as hazards appear and no shoulder checking - just swing out and hope that following traffic makes room. Mind you, in his case, if he had shoulder checked he would just have got a view of the inside of his hood. The complete tw@t.

I gave him plenty of room, waited for a section free from parked cars, shoulder checked and left him in my wake, never to be seen again. He was spinning like a hamster as I passed.

Horrible bike, mate, and a word from the wise, get a proper gear on that thing.

Sounds like a prat. Those FG riders really annoy me - give the rest of us a bad name.

Good thing you taught him a lesson in riding bikes!

tailwindhome

What will Greg's FCN be now?

biondino

Hello all. No bike for 4 days! And no bike today either. I can feel the weight piling onto my jowls. Hungover today after seeing young person's band "The Killers" play a secret gig last night (yes, I am boasting) which was excellent. I also played Cluedo for the first time in 20 years and realised that beer and detective work are not natural bedfellows.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Thanks for all the good wishes.

The rest of you can fcuk yourselves.

I had to use a ruler to get my right bike sock off, and tying my laces got the ol' HR racing.

Feck.

Feltup

Sounds serious you might need professional help

DonDaddyD

Greg T wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

So there we are. Officially Off Games. I need this to get better before I can play.

At your stage of life old boy this might well mean a sad end to a glittering career.

Like a proud old warship, once the pride of the fleet, all shining metal and single purpose, now laid up at the dockside, skeleton crew, superceded and irrelevent..... The next journey will be the last, to the breakers yard.

Still, there is always dominos down the British Legion.

I call his bike (either one will do I'm not choosy!)

But seriously don't risk further injury to your back; I suspect that you use it for far too many important things. At least change the riding position to suit what is comfortable.

If the doctors aren't able to identify what is wrong with it, how about using the winter to spend time in the gym exercising/strengthening those back muscles so that your fit for the start of the next SCR season proper (in March)?

-Tangent moment- SCR season long schedule

February* SCR Pre season:
This is the warm-up period for those who want to burn off the weight gained at Christmas/New Year. Like me, they would have started in January but (i) it was too cold (ii) they had diminished funds due to Christmas/New Year. This is also arguably the only other part of the year where you can get a decent money-off deal in a LBS. Cycle to work and other cycle awareness schemes start promoting itself.

*March* SCR season begins:
Spring looms and the sun rears its wonderful shine over Britain again. Cyclist incapable of being able to MTFU and ride through winter bravely attempt to 'ride to work' during spring and summer. Unbeknownst to them, though they will try to foolishly race, they are already carrion to the savage veterans who have been riding throughout the winter training and honing their skills for the ever sort after scalp. By mid-April its open warfare on the roads between cyclists.

*May* The Fakenger Cup:
Suffering under some guy/gals armpit while imprisoned on public transport the Lemmings decide that they’ve had enough! With a complete image change they’ve become cyclists for 4 – 5 months! The vain hope is to tag onto the now vogue cycle revolution and claim a new hip summer time identity, the ultimate goal? To get laid.

Many Fakengers descended onto the Streets of London during 2007, their weapon of choice was the ‘Hybrid’ (aka ‘bikes without a real purpose’). Even more of them invaded the roads in 2008 and though in 2007 they were regarded as a joke they upped their game and went single speed, proving a far more competition. The Charge Plug propelled to notoriety.

What will 2009 bring? No matter! They are prey all the same. What does matter is that the Fakenger Cup is becoming the best part of the SCR season!

*Oct* SCR close season:
With the Fakenger Cup over, the Lemmings have retreated to the warm shelter of some guy/gals armpit as winter looms. The other cyclists incapable of MTFU have returned to their public transport roots. Only the veterans remain, challenging each other in the odd exhibition on wet, greasy and treacherous roads. The goal? Train for the next SCR season!

-Tangent moment over-

attica

What is this "closed season" of which you speak?

lost_in_thought

Attica wrote:

What is this "closed season" of which you speak?

Agreed, and what of this pre-season? My season lasts all year - there is no pre- because there is no break. MTFU. It's not that flippin' cold.

cjcp

lost_in_thought wrote:

My season lasts all year - there is no pre- because there is no break. MTFU. It's not that flippin' cold.

Quite right; we're not pansy footballers.

DonDaddyD

Attica wrote:

What is this "closed season" of which you speak?

In someways the closed season is more competitive than the open season. During the closed season (now) you know that almost every other commuter (on a cold potentially rainy day) is likely to be a seasoned cycle-commuter with the stamina to boot. The weather is bad, the condition is rough, a scalp right now isn't won by speed alone its more about endurance and who can outlast The pain.

The only reason I regard now as the close season is because during the summer the sheer number of cyclists and the the speed the dry tarmac offers makes it more fun. The winter may bring an 'Epic battle' but you could go days even a week without encountering a worthy opponent.

Jen J

cjcp wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

My season lasts all year - there is no pre- because there is no break. MTFU. It's not that flippin' cold.

Quite right; we're not pansy footballers.

You mean the ones who play throughout the winter?

Feltup

I have just realised there is a direct link between SCR and rowing.

Now stick with me here.

Rowing-
Summer is regatta season, all the hoorays come out and everyone is more concerned with how they look and what party they are going to go to that night.

SCR-
Summer season all the wannabees come out and polish up their fakenger machines and full carbon shiney machines.

Rowing-
Winter is head season (see how this could tie in!) all the glitzy party people have gone back to watching rugby whilst the real rowers now compete on open courses battling time and each other down wild wind swept rivers. Clashing blades is not uncommon as overtaking crews fight fiercely to force the other crew off the racing line and leave them sobbing in their wake.

SCR
Winter is true scalping season, all the shiney bike people have resorted to using their car or public transport leaving only people who do not need to MTFU and just get on with scalping those they know to be worthy.

So for you lot on the embankment, watch out for the obvious rower types, they will be in full on attack mode now!

Greg T

Greg66 wrote:

I had to use a ruler to get my right bike sock off

Feck.

Now that's funny.

I presume you are on the 'brufren / paracetamol in rotation every two hours routine?

il_principe

Greg66 wrote:

Thanks for all the good wishes.

The rest of you can fcuk yourselves.

I had to use a ruler to get my right bike sock off, and tying my laces got the ol' HR racing.

Feck.

Oh dear oh dear. Time to empty the Cervelo stable.

What's the FCN on your new mode of transport:



At least it'll match your red lycra.

Feltup

All is not lost!

attica

jashburnham wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Thanks for all the good wishes.

The rest of you can fcuk yourselves.

I had to use a ruler to get my right bike sock off, and tying my laces got the ol' HR racing.

Feck.

Oh dear oh dear. Time to empty the Cervelo stable.

What's the FCN on your new mode of transport:



At least it'll match your red lycra.

Do they do one in a strong shade of orange?

cjcp

Jen J wrote:

cjcp wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

My season lasts all year - there is no pre- because there is no break. MTFU. It's not that flippin' cold.

Quite right; we're not pansy footballers.

You mean the ones who play throughout the winter?

Nope, the ones that have the summer off.

jedster

I think that too many of us have sounded a tad unsympathetic to Greg's plight. We should be ashamed. After all, anyone who has had back spasms knows that they do more than tickle.

However, I think I have the answer... France.

I've come to the view that there is an important difference between British and French Doctors. The first kind pretend to listen then send you home saying "take some paracetmol and drink lots of fluids". You have to armwrestle them for antibiotics, and if they're are particularly stubborn you might need to threathen them with their drug company issue ball-point pen.

The second type reach for the presciption pad and reel of a succession of top-class parmaceutical playthings. It's all to do with financial incentives of course but given that this is SCR not an economics lecture I won't go into that.

I conspired to get a bit cocky on the first morning of a skiing holiday last year and managed to land my lower rib on a big nasty icy mogul at some pace. After I'd limped to the bar and found that beer, chips and paracetmol (contrary to expectations) had not fixed the situation, and I was dancing to the tune of back-spasms, I went to the Doctor. Xray revealed a cracked rib. The doctor gave me prescriptions for a huge cocktail of painkillers, anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxants. His parting words were "you can ski - the only limit is the pain". Or in other words "get out of here, take drugs and MTFU".

In actual fact, I did take the rest of the day off but I found that skiing was less painful that lying down. Very annoying to the missus who had to put up with me skiing with the odd manly gritted-teeth grimace during the day but whimpering through back-spasms at night.

So the conclusion for Greg is
a) keep your spine upright - that shopper is on the right lines
b) ride it to France and fake an accident
C) take some proper drugs and ... you know the rest

How's that for sympathy?

J

Littigator

Now now guys, come on and stop being so mean to poor Greg66. I mean after all if it were one of us you wouldn't catch him being nasty or taunting us in anyway would you...

Besides....its wrong to take the p*ss out of the elderly and infirm!

Cantdosleepy

DonDaddyD wrote:

*May* The Fakenger Cup:

Many Fakengers descended onto the Streets of London during 2007, their weapon of choice was the ‘Hybrid’ (aka ‘bikes without a real purpose’). Even more of them invaded the roads in 2008 and though in 2007 they were regarded as a joke they upped their game and went single speed, proving a far more competition. The Charge Plug propelled to notoriety.

What will 2009 bring? No matter! They are prey all the same. What does matter is that the Fakenger Cup is becoming the best part of the SCR season!

*Oct* SCR close season:
With the Fakenger Cup over, the Lemmings have retreated to the warm shelter of some guy/gals armpit as winter looms. The other cyclists incapable of MTFU have returned to their public transport roots. Only the veterans remain, challenging each other in the odd exhibition on wet, greasy and treacherous roads. The goal? Train for the next SCR season!

Where do I live on the scheme of things if I'm riding a *notorious* but am doing so in November?

Greg T

jedster wrote:

How's that for sympathy?

J

All he needs is more drugs!

The flip side of this is Mrs T who, prior to being Mrs T, was involved in a head on car crash in France and suffered a crushed sternum and broken ribs - her pain killer regime by ze French - none, or is that non?

tailwindhome

Littigator wrote:

Now now guys, come on and stop being so mean to poor Greg66. I mean after all if it were one of us you wouldn't catch him being nasty or taunting us in anyway would you...

Besides....its wrong to take the p*ss out of the elderly and infirm!

Yeah I agree with Litt, my granda has a bad back too and it's just not funny!

don_don

SCR
Winter is true scalping season, all the shiney bike people have resorted to using their car or public transport leaving only people who do not need to MTFU and just get on with scalping those they know to be worthy.

If I commute year round, come rain or shine, but don't particularly care about scalping or being scalped; does that mean I do not need to MTFU, or will I be roundly derided by all and sundry? Not that I would expect that, seeing as you are all such a genteel lot

DonDaddyD

Cantdosleepy wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

*May* The Fakenger Cup:

Many Fakengers descended onto the Streets of London during 2007, their weapon of choice was the ‘Hybrid’ (aka ‘bikes without a real purpose’). Even more of them invaded the roads in 2008 and though in 2007 they were regarded as a joke they upped their game and went single speed, proving a far more competition. The Charge Plug propelled to notoriety.

What will 2009 bring? No matter! They are prey all the same. What does matter is that the Fakenger Cup is becoming the best part of the SCR season!

*Oct* SCR close season:
With the Fakenger Cup over, the Lemmings have retreated to the warm shelter of some guy/gals armpit as winter looms. The other cyclists incapable of MTFU have returned to their public transport roots. Only the veterans remain, challenging each other in the odd exhibition on wet, greasy and treacherous roads. The goal? Train for the next SCR season!

Where do I live on the scheme of things if I'm riding a *notorious* but am doing so in November?

You live in the following category:
Prey who doesn't know when to quit! :twisted:

cjcp

don_don wrote:

SCR
Winter is true scalping season, all the shiney bike people have resorted to using their car or public transport leaving only people who do not need to MTFU and just get on with scalping those they know to be worthy.

If I commute year round, come rain or shine, but don't particularly care about scalping or being scalped; does that mean I do not need to MTFU, or will I be roundly derided by all and sundry? Not that I would expect that, seeing as you are all such a genteel lot

STONE HIM!

DonDaddyD

Attica wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Thanks for all the good wishes.

The rest of you can fcuk yourselves.

I had to use a ruler to get my right bike sock off, and tying my laces got the ol' HR racing.

Feck.

Oh dear oh dear. Time to empty the Cervelo stable.

What's the FCN on your new mode of transport:



At least it'll match your red lycra.

Do they do one in a strong shade of orange?

LOL!!!

Sandwich and Ribena all over my key board! Thanks!

---

But I think we should cut Greg1866 a break. Having ridden with him, I know how fast he is! The myth, the legends they're real and I for one wish him a speedy and sensible recovery so that when I next see him I'm fit enough to give him a proper challenege and claim my throne!

Littigator

This is about the only throne you'll get from him mate