Silly commuting racing

Greg T

Speaking of rain.....

Has anyone looked outside recently. From what I can tell London has angered God and he is engaged in washing it from the Face of the Earth.....

I feel sea sick just looking at it.....

There is going to be some very defensive riding tonight.....

cjcp

Greg T wrote:

Speaking of rain.....

Has anyone looked outside recently. From what I can tell London has angered God and he is engaged in washing it from the Face of the Earth.....

I feel sea sick just looking at it.....

There is going to be some very defensive riding tonight.....

An Ark will be needed along Embankment, not a bike, if previous experience is anything to go by.

rhext

Well it's nice and sunny here ;-)

victor ludorum

Emilia wrote:

This feels like a bit of a scissors-paper-stone situation: a fixed gear is further up the food chain than a triple - but does this still hold when going uphill?

And a fat girl could be lower down the food chain than a skinny bloke (judging by some of the reactions I've had when overtaking), but would their respective gearings redress this balance?

It's a tricky one...

The point about the triple is that it doesn't matter whether they're going uphill, downhill, on the flat or doing circuits on a wall of death - triple chain-rings score low on the food chain.

The body size of the rider is more of a secondary adjustment to the score based on bike and gear, but I suspect a skinny bloke on a triple would fancy himself as higher on the food chain than a fat girl on a fixed, which makes it all the more enjoyable when you go past him.

snooks

Greg T wrote:

Speaking of rain.....

Has anyone looked outside recently. From what I can tell London has angered God and he is engaged in washing it from the Face of the Earth.....

I feel sea sick just looking at it.....

Got caught out in the rain yesterday, Quite refreshing really, only a few people round the track in Richmond park, did a couple of laps, headed off down the Thames path, got to Teddington, pointed the bike in the direction of Twickenham, and I thought it was the beginning of the end. An apocalyptic rain storm, bagged two soggy hybids (me - mtb with nobblies) really, realy quite wet, but I was enjoying it, until the rain was running down my legs into my shoes and I could see it coming out the vents.

Looks like it's eased off a bit now
.

Surf-Matt

Think Cornwall has has it the worst

Most lowland places are flooded.

This morning my ride was blighted by a puncture. Just after the magnet pinged off the spoke clip of my cycle computer

jedster

I tell you what looking out the window reminds me of. This goes back to early last week and I'm only just summoning the composure to tell the story.

It had rained recently and the roads were still very wet. There I was on the purple abominator when I pulled up behind a tall fit looking bloke on a MTB - not quite sure on the relative FC scores, bit touch and go
him: hard tail mtb, no guards (not even crud catchers), nobblies, rucsac, spds, lycra
me: mtb ss, slicks, guards, panier, baggies over lycra, spds (disguised as flats)
(sucks teeth) not sure how to call it, feels pretty even but of course I needed to take him.

So I honk away from the lights, frame and cranks flexing, quads screaming and pass him. Hold it as I get up to max cadence, spinning like a hamster on crystal meth. Then we get a slight downhill drag I realise he had tucked in behind me as he powers past in top. I jump on his wheel and he can't drop me but I have to eat the cloud of spray kicked up by his naked knobbly back tyre for the next 300 yards.

My route takes me away before we can resolve the tussle.

So I'm thinking, no real result. But the nobblies leave a bad taste in my mouth and it isnt just the spray...

J

jedster

btw,

re the discussion of Emilia's question, doesn't nature abhor a combination of triple chainsets and shaved (male) legs? I'd have thought it was likely to create some terrible warp in the space time continuum. It's almost certainly criminal. Actually, wouldn't riding a triple while shaven provide prima facia evidence that you were insane?

(disclosure - hairy legs and triple on my road bike)

J

victor ludorum

jedster wrote:

using a quick start off lights to prevent a possible scalping is bad form IMHO.

Of course you are right. I had this niggling gut instinct that it wasn't quite cricket. And as others have said about your FC rating, your gut is a good guide on all aspects of The Game.

I think I differ slightly here. Trying to scalp someone off the lights is definitely bad form and smacks of chavs in souped up saxos, but using a quick start to avoid being scalped (as long as you ride safe) is probably fair enough.

It doesn't only apply under game conditions. How many times have you been sat at the lights waiting patiently with your heart rate (as Greg66 Almighty contends) in the mid 40s (cough cough...), when a gaggle of bromptons and MTBs and hybrids suddenly gathers around you like a police seizures yard day sale - all bicycle clips. dynamos and bent mudguards? What do you do? You make sure you keep out of the way as much as possible (to the right, generally) and use your superior start to leave them behind. The alternative is waiting for the lights to change and half-pedalling half trackstanding across the junction while an impatient taxi driver attempts to turn left through the unsteady pedalling jetsam, and then once you get onto the open road you've got to work to navigate past them. If you can beat them cold (but safely!) at the lights, then so much the better.

jedster

when a gaggle of bromptons and MTBs and hybrids suddenly gathers around you like a police seizures yard day sale - all bicycle clips. dynamos and bent mudguards?

LMAO!!

m0scs

As Im incapacitated at present, sitting at home feeling sorry for myself and watching the Tour de France, I decided to play The Game on my exercise bike.

Managed to keep up with the peleton for 30mins before getting bored, but hopped back on later to win the stage and take the yellow jersey.

victor ludorum

It's not that I don't like bromptons, mtbs and hybrids... okay, I do hate bromptons, with their little wheels and their hub gears and their telescopic stems and a riding posture that makes it look like the rider forgot to put a saddle on before he sat down and... (breathe...)

Its just that when you're the first person at the lights and you're at the stop line and there's space all around you, why do they feel compelled to pull up all around you at all sorts of angles and sometimes so close to you that they share a degree of intimacy that you wouldn't normally expect until the third date... what do they hope to achieve?

snooks

victor ludorum wrote:

why do they feel compelled to pull up all around you at all sorts of angles and sometimes so close to you that they share a degree of intimacy that you wouldn't normally expect until the third date... what do they hope to achieve?

Little Bromptons? With littler wheels?

And what's wrong with hub gears? two words....Charge Mixer

m0scs

I have today discovered that you are NOT supposed to wear your pants under your lycra shorts!

This was news to me and I only chanced upon this info.

Anyway, it occurred to me that this should be factored into the FCN

with pants 0, no pants -1, no pants and chamois cream lub -2.

Not sure how you would find out, maybe try to check for a VPL?

What do you think?

Greg T

m0scs wrote:

Managed to keep up with the peleton for 30mins before getting bored, but hopped back on later to win the stage and take the yellow jersey.

Good effort.

I watched a DVD of Moulin Rouge last night and "bagged" Nicole Kidman.

She died at the end so will not be nagging me about not calling her either... Bonus!

victor ludorum

snooks wrote:

Little Bromptons? With littler wheels?

snooks wrote:

And what's wrong with hub gears? two words....Charge Mixer

Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against hub gears. Some of my best friends have hub gears. Well, not friends exactly...

It's more the combination of factors combining in a brompton that irritates me.

Clever Pun

I managed a surprise but ultimately hollow victory on the way home, came up on a slick hybrid and as I was passing what I thought to be my FCN equivalent I saw his team CSC jersey... score one point to me... he was rubbish but that's not my fault. I think I might have even given a derisory snort as I passed

is it a worthy point? Not really but I'm in the viking camp of crushing those in front of me... Hell with the beard I've no choice

To crush your enemies, to see them driven behind you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

snooks

m0scs wrote:

I have today discovered that you are NOT supposed to wear your pants under your lycra shorts!

This was news to me and I only chanced upon this info.

Anyway, it occurred to me that this should be factored into the FCN

with pants 0, no pants -1, no pants and chamois cream lub -2.

Not sure how you would find out, maybe try to check for a VPL?

What do you think?

Surely a VPL should be a plus number...after all if yer clad in Lycra, you should know to go commando, and to be fair it only tends to be girlies I see with a VPL, but may be, that's cos I don't look at a blokes rses, not that I look at girlies rses, you understand, well not look, maybe glance, and if I draft them for a while I'm...erm just....erm saving energy? :roll:

Anyway if you're looking for a VPL, you could be in dangerous territory, so I say let it go.

Now how about coloured tyres? -1?

Greg T

snooks wrote:

Anyway if you're looking for a VPL, you could be in dangerous territory, so I say let it go.

Now how about coloured tyres? -1?

I draw the line at "glancing" at chap's legs to clock their folicle count. Looking for kecks is defo quegish and is well beyond the pale. Starts with VPL and before you know it you are waving your hands above your head to thumping electro dance music.....

Coloured tyres -1 ..... I'd say that they are a contributory indicator like looking very tall and just "fast"........

chewa

Greg T wrote:

snooks wrote:

Anyway if you're looking for a VPL, you could be in dangerous territory, so I say let it go.

Now how about coloured tyres? -1?

I draw the line at "glancing" at chap's legs to clock their folicle count. Looking for kecks is defo quegish and is well beyond the pale. Starts with VPL and before you know it you are waving your hands above your head to thumping electro dance music.....

Coloured tyres -1 ..... I'd say that they are a contributory indicator like looking very tall and just "fast"........

So if I'm a 7 what does that make my hairless Pinarello victim (coloured treads)?
Just so I know when I do him again tomorrow.

I'm wondering whether we should have a sign that we are playing "The Game" I was tempted to do a red indian whoop when passing this morning, but maybe thats not subtle enough..

Maybe a variation of the french motorbikers acknowledgement - raise your fingers off the bar as you pass, number of fingers = points difference?

jedster

sorry Chewa but you're missing a key point - on the road no one should admit that they are playing The Game. It's one of the reasons that there is extra kudos for not looking like you're trying

Here, we can admit that we are players -this is Silly Commuter Racing Anonymous.

Hello, my name is Jedster and I take infantile satisfaction in overtaking cyclists who look faster than me.

Cheers,

J

attica

Curses curses curses

I spent a couple of miles reeling my first possible scalp, a roadie in tights and TdF top (i'd count that as shaven legged)

Pulled level with him only to reveal that he had a beard, now this wasn't a "pipe and real ale" beard, more of a marketing execs goatee, but rules is rules.

Yet another honourable clean sheet, come on shaven roadies, come out to play, you're my only chance of a scalp

Clever Pun

Attica... fixies and single speeds are yours to take as well...

So I’m sitting there at the traffic lights like all good cyclists should and another cyclist pulls up next to me but doesn’t set his feet down.. he’s going to nip through the junction, on closer inspection this is a prime scalp, he’s shaved like a lady wearing a long sleeved Rapha top and a short sleeved team jersey over it… he skips through the junction and is off, my body is screaming AFTER HIM!! No I’ll wait for the lights, I want to do this right, come on lights any minute now… come on lights. FOR FU<KS SA ah good and I’m off like a cheetah after a gazelle. I’ve not lost sight of hopefully what will be my prey, I’m gunning it now, it’s early in the week I’ve got no excuses and I’m making ground faster than I’d have expected, I move in and cruise past without a care in the world now I’ve got to make sure I can make the next set of lights about a mile away as I’ll have probably angered him (as he passed me ages ago) so I keep the pace up and bring it a little more, knowing if I make it to the lights and he skips them it’s points in the bag. I didn’t dare look back until I have to manoeuvre… I’ve done it, scalp city for me. So I’m waiting at the next set of lights he skips them again… so the same thing happens I catch him but this time I’m off the hoods and sitting back on the bar as casual as you like… take that you hairless poseur.

he was riding a specialised Roubaix with red tyres... I make that something like a fcn of -1

A victory for me and a victory for all you non rlj’ers out there I feel

Greg T

Clever Pun wrote:

he was riding a specialised Roubaix with red tyres... I make that something like a fcn of -1

A victory for me and a victory for all you non rlj’ers out there I feel

Now that is truly a great bumping in anyones book. Not only did you do a Champions League pretender WITH red tyres but he RLJed and you did him twice.

Doing RLJers consecutively is a great joy - even reading about it is a delight.

However brothers - we should be aware of the great universal truth.....

The Great Game is zero sum. For every mega scalping someone (usually the guys you just did) is taking the pain. Sometimes collateral karmic damage is done and innocent bystanders take a side flash.

Pull up a seat post and saddle and listen to this my group therapy partners.

Last night was foul. It was raining - proper hard and had been for ages. Standing water, slippery manhole covers, weak brakes - far from ideal. I decided to "arrive alive" and just get home last night..... Just getting on the bike was a bit of an effort....

So - enacting my "I'm not playing" mindset (which as we know just isn't true but takes the edge off any incidents downstream I headed off.

I got done by a guy on a tourer on the Victoria Embankment.

There I said it. Despite all the spray and puddles and slippery man holes this guy just slid on by happy as you like. His panniers, his mudguards they all told me he had less concern for the copnditions than I......

A sadder wiser man tucked onto the Millbank wind tunnel and wondered if he was going to fess this up to brother players.....

When he was dropped by a dude on a hybrid going like the fecking clappers....

Feck me. I got done twice in one trip when I'd kept a clean sheet for 170 miles previously.

Now I'd like to say that the "safety" rules should give me some solace and only players that are still alive can make their numbers back and that wider wheels offer more purchase in the wet...

I open it to the Bretheren for consideration......

2wheelzgood

:? Oh dear Greg, at least you're man enough to admit. I can't really empathise as I've not been done yet but 273 kilometres is like a stage and a half of the tour.. well done!

I anticipate you getting really depressed and needing more group therapy and possibly one to one counselling (snooks?) come winter. Yeah the rain's bad these last few days but its "summer". your sleek road bike ought to be in its element. I'd get a knobblie susse with disc brakesr in November to avoid the shame and wrist cutting

hybrids and tourers are the dark horses.. on a perfect day , yes the ladyshavers and playa on carbon roadbikes will ave em, fixies won't acknowledge their presence.. but when the heavens open on a dark evening. dirt in the road that you can't see.. ice? (darn sarf? who knows) those 28+ tyres will come into their own.
ASsfor spray, I bet they purposely buy the ones that collect all the crud destined for the rider and re-direct it rearwards

jedster

Greg,

Much as I sympathise, TBH it doesn't sound like they were clearly riding like c0cks and I don't think you can claim the safety exemption.

I have only one suggestion for you....

disc brakes

... there I said it.

I know, I know it sends shudders but it sounds like you're going to be wet weather cannon fodder without them.

J

victor ludorum

Well Greg, what can we say? Some days you're the statue, some days the pigeon...

As we know, all scalps taken and rendered up are recorded in the soul. Even though you were trying to ride with a 'not competing' mindset it sounds like, deep down, you know you were. On that basis, you got beat. You just have to lick your wounds, play up and play the game.

If its a comfort to you, bear in mind that karma works in both directions. While you feel warm inside for scalping, and chilled to your marrow by an overtaking tourer, you are also the cause of warmth in the heart of the one who scalped you.

When we climb a mountain it can seem that the mountain is a great obstacle, but without the support of the mountain road beneath our wheels we could not reach the great heights.

It is difficult to see this when a bearded man on a Dawes Galaxy slides past you, the road grime and water dripping from his ortliebs, but you will learn Grasshopper, you will learn.

victor ludorum

snooks wrote:

And what's wrong with hub gears? two words....Charge Mixer

Incidentally, I could take or leave the mixer but the plug with racer kit is a fine looking filly for a hack.

Greg T

2wheelzgood wrote:

I'd get a knobblie susse with disc brakesr in November to avoid the shame and wrist cutting

Hmmmmmm..............

Now this is an idea..........

There is always that deep dark winter period from November through to April when the weakness takes hold and the train to town looks increasingly attractive. This is also the time that I get proper fat and lose sight of "Big Greg" down south.....

Perhaps - and this is virgin territory for me here so come with me - I could get a more robust wagon with disc brakes / guards / wide tyres etc etc and gear it up to the max.... Very Q bike.....

On cold clear days I'd spin the road bike on crappy days the tank....

This would also give me an excuse to buy a new bike - I draw the line at buuying one of those oh so very rad skatebaord lids and will not be dropping gnarly into a conversation any time soon.....

or should I just ride the road bike?

Edited to add......

Now it is just me but in the first big rain for a while does all the concentrated ming in your lid headband leak out, run down your face, sting your eyes and taste foul in your mouth?

or was it my bitter bitter tears?

Minging sweat cordial ack ack ack

Bassjunkieuk

My Koolstop Salmon's do a good job in the wet and it would mean you can get by without the disc's? It does sound unfortunate but I did find on occasions wet weather made me ride faster, not sure if it was purely in my head, or cos I wanted to get out of the wet clothes or what!