The Lanterne Rouge Thread 2019 **Spoilers**

pinno

underlayunderlay wrote:

Join us tomorrow when I'll try and keep this going despite being in a tent in the middle of Dorset with only my phone and a selection of hallucinogenic drugs to inform my reporting.

It has oft been suggested that Lewis Carroll had 'stuff' in his pipe.
I hope you have MITCHEL, Joni for company and that you haven't accidentally pitched the tent in a car park.

No_Ta_Doctor

It's a trap. Going on holiday was exactly how I palmed the thread off to the Carpet man a few years back.

Lanterne_Rogue

No tA Doctor wrote:

It's a trap. Going on holiday was exactly how I palmed the thread off to the Carpet man a few years back.

Foiled! Wifi appears to be broken though - keep getting stupid posts claiming aka Philip has taken more time on Thomas and is going to win the tour. Any idea how to reset the Tour? This one appears to be malfunctioning.

Lanterne_Rogue

Right, let's see how this goes then, shall we?

Today's little jaunt up the Tourmalet provided a massive shock as the favourite again shipped over thirty seconds to his unfancied challenger. No, I'm not talking about the man my predictive text insists on calling alcohol gilet - I'm much more interested in Langeveld again taking some time out of Offredo. Against all expectation it looks like Langeveld, who in photos resembles a management consultant specialising in poundshops, may actually be able to reel him in.

It's a double surprise as today's stage was widely tipped to be one where everyone rolled in together, but it looks like the pacing was all wrong and there was action at the end whilst some people still had fresh legs and failed to follow the attacks. Big losers were Offredo (albeit with a comfortable cushion still), Haga, Asgreen and Scully, with the latter three climbing out of the top ten.

Groenewegen, (Gutenberg), Bonifazio (bimodal) and Debusschere (debuggers) all made ground today - in the case of Debusschere taking an impressive almost-three-minutes.Stage winner however was Marcus Berghardt, who in the absence of any stray dogs had to settle for pedalling really slowly instead. Have a white feather for your 'efforts'.

Join us tomorrow to discover just what Able Fillet is taking* and whether the proper order of the race continues to be upset or if an autobus finally manages to close down the racing.

Say to me I don't talk enough:

155 REINARDT JANSE VAN RENSBURG 204 TEAM DIMENSION DATA 03H 37' 29'' + 00H 27' 09'' - -
156 DYLAN GROENEWEGEN 84 TEAM JUMBO - VISMA 03H 37' 29'' + 00H 27' 09'' - -
157 ELIA VIVIANI 28 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 03H 37' 29'' + 00H 27' 09'' - -
158 ALEX DOWSETT 183 TEAM KATUSHA ALPECIN 03H 37' 46'' + 00H 27' 26'' - -
159 MAXIMILIANO RICHEZE 27 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 03H 37' 50'' + 00H 27' 30'' - -
160 CEES BOL 143 TEAM SUNWEB 03H 37' 50'' + 00H 27' 30'' - -
161 NICCOLÒ BONIFAZIO 172 TOTAL DIRECT ENERGIE 03H 38' 06'' + 00H 27' 46'' - -
162 ALEXANDER KRISTOFF 126 UAE TEAM EMIRATES 03H 38' 16'' + 00H 27' 56'' - -
163 JENS DEBUSSCHERE 182 TEAM KATUSHA ALPECIN 03H 39' 31'' + 00H 29' 11'' - -
164 MARCUS BURGHARDT 13 BORA - HANSGROHE 03H 40' 17'' + 00H 29' 57'' - -

But when i do I;m a fool:

155 149 ▼6 BONIFAZIO Niccolò Team Total Direct Energie 2:20:49
156 152 ▼4 JANSEN Amund Grøndahl Team Jumbo-Visma 2:21:22
157 153 ▼4 BAK Lars Ytting Team Dimension Data 2:21:31
158 154 ▼4 GROENEWEGEN Dylan Team Jumbo-Visma 2:21:44
159 161 ▲2 DE GENDT Aimé Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 2:22:09
160 158 ▼2 HALLER Marco Team Katusha Alpecin 2:22:14
161 162 ▲1 MARTIN Tony Team Jumbo-Visma 2:26:34
162 163 ▲1 DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 2:33:00
163 164 ▲1 LANGEVELD Sebastian EF Education First 2:35:21
164 165 ▲1 OFFREDO Yoann Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 2:46:15

*First place, obvs.

pinno

No tA Doctor wrote:

It's a trap. Going on holiday was exactly how I palmed the thread off to the Carpet man a few years back.

Meanwhile our man is on the frontline and working very hard to being us LR news, camping in a car park*, struggling with his internet connection**, whilst listening to cassette's of Woodstock*** and running out of proper herbs**** for his pipe. :roll:
Shame on you NoTaDoc, shame.

*Have you ever tried getting tent pegs to purchase in tarmac?
**Worse then Scotland
**Track 17, JOPLIN, Janice + 48yrs, 2 months, 14 days, 48mins
****Next time, plant them in a grow bag and put the whole thing into a pannier, water regularly and trim at your leisure.

No_Ta_Doctor

Pinno wrote:

No tA Doctor wrote:

It's a trap. Going on holiday was exactly how I palmed the thread off to the Carpet man a few years back.

Meanwhile our man is on the frontline and working very hard to being us LR news, camping in a car park*, struggling with his internet connection**, whilst listening to cassette's of Woodstock*** and running out of proper herbs**** for his pipe. :roll:
Shame on you NoTaDoc, shame.

*Have you ever tried getting tent pegs to purchase in tarmac?
**Worse then Scotland
**Track 17, JOPLIN, Janice + 48yrs, 2 months, 14 days, 48mins
****Next time, plant them in a grow bag and put the whole thing into a pannier, water regularly and trim at your leisure.

Luxury.
A car park is considerably more comfortable than e.g. a rocky shoreline (probably drier too, as most car parks don't have tides).
The correct way of posting updates from a campsite is by smoke signal from the camp fire.
Any amount of Joplin is better than a CD of kids songs, or anything by Meatloaf
Poor planning. I recall a cycling trip several decades ago where a not insignificant amount of a soothing plant resin based substance was stored in a bike downtube.

Lanterne_Rogue

There was a brief moment of hope during today's boring, boring mountain stage. As I stood on one of Dorset's noblest ancient monuments, surrounded by some of prehistoric man's finest engineering, jumping up and down frantically trying to get a phone signal whilst swearing furiously*, a flurry of notifications and the sheer number of updates on the spoiler thread implied the Lanterne Rouge contest had - however improbably - exploded into life.

No - it was just that bloke my phone currently knows as "Aldi pocket" failing to lose very much time.

One thing about following the Tour intermittently and without pictures is that everyone else's enthusiasm about what they're watching doesn't actually translate into any kind of coherent picture. Nor is it possible to pick out statements of fact from sarcastic nonsense. Geraint Thomas can simultaneously attack, lose time, and fall off his bike entirely**. People suggest that Anasol Pip is riding tempo whilst putting in repeated attacks to get back on terms with the lead group. Movistar have bought a team parrot, let it absorb some likely cycling speak, fed it some stimulants, and given it control of the team radio. The only one I'm not falling for is this ridiculous injoke that German retailer Tchibo Pinot is looking like a genuine GC contender - I presume I'm missing some kind of ridiculous fish pun here?

Anyway, the LR is pretty much as it was except for Richie Cheese crashing into the bottom ten after a sparkling effort to drop the autobus today and gain nearly two minutes. Notorious hipster artisan cereal chain Langeveld and de Busker loitered around the back of the 'bus without a split appearing and so merely keep pace with Offredo, everything else appears to be as you were too. Other good performers on the stage were Peter Sagan, who has discovered that stopping to sign autographs is worth literally minutes, and Valverde's mysterious missing Mas.

Join us tomorrow to discover it's a rest day. Oh, hang on...

Spice Girls' Viva Forever:

155 ANDRÉ GREIPEL 215 TEAM ARKEA - SAMSIC 05H 17' 34'' + 00H 30' 30'' - -
156 AIME DE GENDT 193 WANTY - GOBERT CYCLING TEAM 05H 17' 34'' + 00H 30' 30'' - -
157 IVAN GARCIA CORTINA 45 BAHRAIN - MERIDA 05H 17' 34'' + 00H 30' 30'' - -
158 ENRIC MAS 25 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05H 18' 33'' + 00H 31' 29'' - -
159 MARCUS BURGHARDT 13 BORA - HANSGROHE 05H 18' 35'' + 00H 31' 31'' - -
160 CALEB EWAN 161 LOTTO SOUDAL 05H 18' 35'' + 00H 31' 31'' - -
161 ROGER KLUGE 166 LOTTO SOUDAL 05H 18' 35'' + 00H 31' 31'' - -
162 MICHAEL MØRKØV 26 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05H 18' 38'' + 00H 31' 34'' - -
163 PETER SAGAN 11 BORA - HANSGROHE 05H 18' 38'' + 00H 31' 34'' - -
164 MAXIMILIANO RICHEZE 27 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05H 19' 30'' + 00H 32' 26'' - -

Spice Girls Taking Forever:

155 156 ▲1 JANSEN Amund Grøndahl Team Jumbo-Visma 2:50:03
156 157 ▲1 BAK Lars Ytting Team Dimension Data 2:50:12
157 158 ▲1 GROENEWEGEN Dylan Team Jumbo-Visma 2:50:25
158 152 ▼6 RICHEZE Maximiliano Deceuninck - Quick Step 2:50:28
159 159 - DE GENDT Aimé Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 2:50:50
160 160 - HALLER Marco Team Katusha Alpecin 2:50:55
161 161 - MARTIN Tony Team Jumbo-Visma 2:55:15
162 162 - DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 3:01:41
163 163 - LANGEVELD Sebastian EF Education First 3:04:02
164 164 - OFFREDO Yoann Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 3:14:56

*I looked up to discover fifty smiling Japanese people filming and photographing this bizarre British ritual. With any luck their tour guide stopped laughing long enough to explain I was trying to contact the spirits for guidance. Cripes knows I've done it enough whilst stuck in a country lane precisely two inches wider than my car recently

**I now realise I've more or less fitted his palmares into a text message there

Pross

So who won the much vaunted title of The Prat of Albis?

Lanterne_Rogue

Pross wrote:

So who won the much vaunted title of The Prat of Albis?

Rich Cheese, obviously. The pigeon I'd despatched carrying that bit of news went missing, apparently... :oops:

pinno

underlayunderlay wrote:

The pigeon I'd despatched carrying that bit of news went missing, apparently... :oops:

It was put in a pie by Ullrich's mum.

underlayunderlay wrote:

...jumping up and down frantically trying to get a phone signal whilst swearing furiously...

Aluminium ladders are light enough to carry around with you.
The wall or tree you need to lean it up against however, is a bit heavier.

underlayunderlay wrote:

No - it was just that bloke my phone currently knows as "Aldi pocket" failing to lose very much time.

Tell me which car park you are in and i'll post you their latest offer leaflets.

underlayunderlay wrote:

One thing about following the Tour intermittently and without pictures is that everyone else's enthusiasm about what they're watching doesn't actually translate into any kind of coherent picture.

Try a Zeotrope.

underlayunderlay wrote:

Nor is it possible to pick out statements of fact from sarcastic nonsense.

In this forum?! Here? Never.

underlayunderlay wrote:

Movistar have bought a team parrot, let it absorb some likely cycling speak, fed it some stimulants, and given it control of the team radio.

I was sure that Parrot was dead. When I took it into the shop, the owner of the shop broke into song after a brief argument...

underlayunderlay wrote:

The only one I'm not falling for this ridiculous injoke that German retailer Tchibo Pinot is looking like a genuine GC contender - I presume I'm missing some kind of ridiculous fish pun here?

The story is a red Herring.

underlayunderlay wrote:

Langeveld and de Busker

Great Muesli, terrible music.

bm5

Poor Griepel. He just keeps failing to reach the sharpest point of the race.
Hope the weather in Dorset overnight has been drier than it was here in the north. Enjoy your rest day.

darkhairedlord

Surprised there isn't a rest day round up of bars and clubs for LR contenders... offredo could be right off on one.

Lanterne_Rogue

I initially thought that Mr Prudhomme had hit upon the entertaining notion of setting a course between two cities with the same name, but on checking the map discover that today's stage in the blazing hot sun was so boring that halfway through they gave up and sent the riders back to where they started from.

Nonetheless the one true race continues to deliver. It's now clear that Offredo is suffering the sort of meltdown previously seen with Simon Yates at the Giro - albeit for a far more distinguished prize. Having previously worked brilliantly on a succession of stages to gain time, Offredo now seems utterly incapable of finding an answer to the twin challenges of Martin and Langeveld. Unsure which one to mark, if any, he now regularly finds himself on the wrong side of a move. Rumours that Wanty-Gobert are setting up an epic all-day solo attack with carefully arranged soigneurs on every summit with cans of oil and sharpened tacks with which to further delay Offredo are surely just that. Despite the desire of the French for one of their riders to show that the grand prizes can still be won with a bit of panache and flair, all he needs is a sensible road captain to calm him down and lead him backwards. He needs to get a move on though, as Langeveld and Martin are closing in quickly - Martin today managing to find a couple of minutes over even Langeveld. In this year's tour there have already been too many surprises to assume that the mountains will shut down racing totally and Offredo needs to think for himself rather than simply listening to his DS screaming down the radio about getting a bloody move on.

Elsewhere I see that Geraint Thomas chose to do something - anything - to break up the monotony of the day with no great injury to himself but a terminal one for Fuglsang, who Astana had unwisely detailed "to copy what Thomas does and learn how to win a GC battle". Caleb Ewan ended a fine run of form by getting everything totally wrong in the run-in, although I suspect he'd realised he was incapable of mounting a sustained challenge, whilst the minor placings got a bit of a shakeup as people were unfairly dragged into lead-outs or more happily into 'chasing' on a day when the break didn't want to be there either. Honour satisfied, they could simply roll in gently and gain plenty of time on their more hard-working colleagues.

White feather to Valgren for enduring today's stage longer than any of the rest of us could bear, and join us tomorrow to see if Offredo's apparent strategy of riding back into form and hoping to see his rivals disappear hors delai bears fruit.

Moves like Jagger:

153 OMAR FRAILE MATARRANZ 73 ASTANA PRO TEAM 04H 05' 52'' + 00H 08' 44'' - -
154 MARC SOLER 67 MOVISTAR TEAM 04H 05' 52'' + 00H 08' 44'' - -
155 CEES BOL 143 TEAM SUNWEB 04H 06' 03'' + 00H 08' 55'' - -
156 ALEXEY LUTSENKO 76 ASTANA PRO TEAM 04H 07' 42'' + 00H 10' 34'' - -
157 MAGNUS CORT NIELSEN 77 ASTANA PRO TEAM 04H 07' 42'' + 00H 10' 34'' - -
158 LUIS LEÓN SANCHEZ 78 ASTANA PRO TEAM 04H 07' 42'' + 00H 10' 34'' - -
159 HUGO HOULE 74 ASTANA PRO TEAM 04H 07' 42'' + 00H 10' 34'' - -
160 MAXIME MONFORT 167 LOTTO SOUDAL 04H 07' 42'' + 00H 10' 34'' - -
161 TONY MARTIN 86 TEAM JUMBO - VISMA 04H 09' 39'' + 00H 12' 31'' - -
162 MICHAEL VALGREN 208 TEAM DIMENSION DATA 04H 09' 42'' + 00H 12' 34'' - -

Moves like Aggers, old boy:

153 149 ▼4 ASGREEN Kasper Deceuninck - Quick Step 2:51:48
154 160 ▲6 HALLER Marco Team Katusha Alpecin 2:52:33
155 159 ▲4 DE GENDT Aimé Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 2:52:58
156 146 ▼10 BOL Cees Team Sunweb 2:55:20
157 145 ▼12 MONFORT Maxime Lotto Soudal 2:55:38
158 147 ▼11 SCULLY Tom EF Education First 2:55:49
159 162 ▲3 DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 3:01:41
160 161 ▲1 MARTIN Tony Team Jumbo-Visma 3:07:46
161 163 ▲2 LANGEVELD Sebastian EF Education First 3:12:46
162 164 ▲2 OFFREDO Yoann Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 3:15:52

bm5

Come on Tony you can do it.
Great team work there from Astana, shows how they have been held back until today.

pblakeney

I think the strategy up above is missing the obvious. Offredo's main gains are from getting in the break away to lull the opposition, then going full gas for LR.

Lanterne_Rogue

CONTROVERSY IN THE LANTERNE ROUGE!

Tony Martin, who had been working his way spectacularly up the rankings in the last few stages, has sensationally been disqualified from the Tour alongside former LR champion Lou Crow of Ineos. In a desperate bid to take time on LR it appears Crow asked Martin to ride him off the road, and was later seen to pick a fight with Martin over "not making it so bloody obvious", stating "wait for a soft bit next time, you ****".

Such coordination between teams is of course strictly forbidden, and both riders were disqualified. Enraged supporters were later seen to be surrounding the restaurant holding the traditional fifteen course after-dinner refreshments for the commissaires and chanting "No collusion!". Baffled as to who this 'Nocollusion' was - presumably one of any number of anonymous Italian riders at the race - the commissaires did the only thing open to them and disqualified Crow and Martin a second time before adjourning for a selection of Cognacs.

Rumours are already circling in the peloton that the race is favouring French riders, with the highly unusual sight of Pinot contesting the GC regularly cited as a sign that something is up. This latest development, seemingly favouring Offredo, will only add fuel to the fire. Crow is expected to appeal the decision on the basis that he's too knackered to know what he's doing.

As for the remaining LR contenders, Offredo stabilised his position by taking advantage of a split in the bunch to gain precious seconds back on Langeveld. This positioning may become crucial in the battle ahead. Enemy of vowels Michael Mrkv had a good day to re-enter the top ten, as did Bonifazio who rolled in last. RIch Cheeze also finished in the final three to improve his position.

As Crow and Martin obviously share the combativity prize they're ineligible for the White Feather - Mrkv, RIch Cheeze and Bonifazio will have it awarded in the fairest way possible, eg to whoever asks for it last. No hurry, lads.


Good enough:

149 TIM WELLENS 168 LOTTO SOUDAL 04H 48' 10'' + 00H 26' 34'' - -
150 SØREN KRAGH ANDERSEN 147 TEAM SUNWEB 04H 48' 10'' + 00H 26' 34'' - -
151 JENS DEBUSSCHERE 182 TEAM KATUSHA ALPECIN 04H 48' 10'' + 00H 26' 34'' - -
152 ROGER KLUGE 166 LOTTO SOUDAL 04H 49' 21'' + 00H 27' 45'' - -
153 MAXIME MONFORT 167 LOTTO SOUDAL 04H 49' 21'' + 00H 27' 45'' - -
154 CALEB EWAN 161 LOTTO SOUDAL 04H 49' 21'' + 00H 27' 45'' - -
155 YVES LAMPAERT 24 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04H 51' 41'' + 00H 30' 05'' - -
156 MICHAEL MØRKØV 26 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04H 51' 41'' + 00H 30' 05'' - -
157 MAXIMILIANO RICHEZE 27 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04H 51' 41'' + 00H 30' 05'' - -
158 NICCOLÒ BONIFAZIO 172 TOTAL DIRECT ENERGIE 04H 51' 41'' + 00H 30' 05'' - -


Dodgy:

149 152 ▲3 VAN MELSEN Kevin Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 2:57:17
150 141 ▼9 BONIFAZIO Niccolò Team Total Direct Energie 2:57:36
151 142 ▼9 MØRKØV Michael Deceuninck - Quick Step 2:58:15
152 155 ▲3 DE GENDT Aimé Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 2:58:43
153 154 ▲1 HALLER Marco Team Katusha Alpecin 2:58:57
154 148 ▼6 RICHEZE Maximiliano Deceuninck - Quick Step 3:00:23
155 157 ▲2 MONFORT Maxime Lotto Soudal 3:03:13
156 159 ▲3 DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 3:08:05
157 161 ▲4 LANGEVELD Sebastian EF Education First 3:18:31
158 162 ▲4 OFFREDO Yoann Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 3:22:16

bm5

Devastating for my man Martin.

above_the_cows

Stage 18 Lanterne Rouge...

Michael Mørkøv, he was going so slowly this is the one photo I managed to take that was blurry.

No_Ta_Doctor

Above The Cows wrote:

Stage 18 Lanterne Rouge...

Michael Mørkøv, he was going so slowly this is the one photo I managed to take that was blurry.

So far behind it must have been getting dark by then, then blur is from camerashake on a long exposure.

Brilliant solo attack in terrain where it's usually difficult to grab more than a handful of seconds.

Lanterne_Rogue

The one sporting event in British sporting culture that epitomises the 'choke' (other than the England Men's Cricket Team (1877 - present), the English men's football team (1872-1966, 1966 - present), England- well, you get the idea) is of course Devon Loch. Miles ahead in the most prestigious race of the year, with nothing to do but amble to the finish line, this noble horse took the ultimate revenge on the sadistic sod that had made him do all that jumping and inexplicably belly-flopped barely forty yards from the line. Lanterne Rouge aficionados will note that Deven Loch failed to actually finish the race and thus what was otherwise a brilliant display of snatching immortality from a winning position will be forever tainted.

The reason for bringing this up is because French hope Yoyo Offredo is currently mid-air and about to crash land in the most publicly embarrassing way possible, and the French public, to continue the metaphor, are about to smash the bottle of Dubonnet firmly over the head of the nearest footman. Anyone suggesting the Queen Mum really reacted by saying "That's racing" are perpetuating a conspiracy around the death of Mr A Scroggins, Royal Footman, mysteriously found dead by Dubonnet overdose in the Royal Box. I will now demonstrate the Masonic numbers attached to this-

Hang on, I'm literally being buzzed by military helicopters at this point and hadn't even posted it. I'm not ordinarily a tin-foil-hatter, but this is a bit spooky...

Anyway, after another brilliant ride by Langeveld it looks like Offredo is about to dash French hopes and surrender the most prestigious title in cycling. The reasons for this urgent collapse in form are totally opaque, but it seems the decision of the commissaires to protect him from Tony Martin has not been enough. The slight time Offredo took back from Langeveld yesterday appears to have been a dead cat bounce, or in cycling terms "Cofidis rider making the break on stage 20". Offredo remains LR by just three seconds, and surely this will disappear in the next couple of stages - although we've been saying something similar at the wrong end of the race about the man my predictive text is currently calling Julie-Ann's Fillip.

The drama in the competition for the LR has overshadowed a brilliant ride from fourth-vowel-abolitionist Michael Mrkv, who soloed to a huge six minute gap over everyone else on today's stage. With the TV cameras inexplicably focused on the travails of Tommy 2.0 (eg AKA Phillip), capturing this immense ride was left to our very own Chief Livestock Correspondent, ATC, who cleverly applied some sort of filter to imply progress was being made. In true LR fashion I note she filed her copy late but just about within the cutoff. Superb work.

Elsewhere De Busker is surely out of it, no matter how many Ed Sheeran numbers he butchers, though Mrkv's ride means the final podium spot is very much a live question, Lar "Sytting Bak" Bak is showing the benefit of experience, moving smoothly up to a decent position, Rich Cheeze appears to have panicked about someone playing Beck's Odelay and finished far too quickly. He'll learn, I'm sure, but it takes him back out of the top ten

White feather to ATC, whose photographic evidence suggests started up the Galibier well before the field yet got overtaken by the whole bally lot of them. Excellent stuff.

Public Service Broadcasting:

147 ANTHONY TURGIS 178 TOTAL DIRECT ENERGIE 06H 09' 01'' + 00H 34' 46'' - -
148 CALEB EWAN 161 LOTTO SOUDAL 06H 09' 01'' + 00H 34' 46'' - -
149 REIN TAARAMÄE 176 TOTAL DIRECT ENERGIE 06H 09' 06'' + 00H 34' 51'' - -
150 MATTEO TRENTIN 107 MITCHELTON - SCOTT 06H 09' 39'' + 00H 35' 24'' - -
151 LARS BAK YTTING 202 TEAM DIMENSION DATA 06H 10' 02'' + 00H 35' 47'' - -
152 MARCUS BURGHARDT 13 BORA - HANSGROHE 06H 10' 51'' + 00H 36' 36'' - -
153 ELIA VIVIANI 28 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 06H 10' 51'' + 00H 36' 36'' - -
154 PETER SAGAN 11 BORA - HANSGROHE 06H 10' 51'' + 00H 36' 36'' - -
155 SEBASTIAN LANGEVELD 95 EF EDUCATION FIRST 06H 10' 51'' + 00H 36' 36'' - -
156 MICHAEL MØRKØV 26 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 06H 16' 17'' + 00H 42' 02'' - -

Pubic Service Broadcasting:

147 149 ▲2 VAN MELSEN Kevin Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 3:24:53
148 150 ▲2 BONIFAZIO Niccolò Team Total Direct Energie 3:25:12
149 144 ▼5 KLUGE Roger Lotto Soudal 3:25:31
150 143 ▼7 BAK Lars Ytting Team Dimension Data 3:26:24
151 153 ▲2 HALLER Marco Team Katusha Alpecin 3:26:33
152 155 ▲3 MONFORT Maxime Lotto Soudal 3:30:49
153 151 ▼2 MØRKØV Michael Deceuninck - Quick Step 3:34:59
154 156 ▲2 DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 3:35:41
155 157 ▲2 LANGEVELD Sebastian EF Education First 3:49:49
156 158 ▲2 OFFREDO Yoann Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 3:49:52

No_Ta_Doctor

We don't usually get a lot of TV coverage of the hard end of the race, but as a special treat, Here's Mrkv riding home in solitary triumph, shadowed by the broom waggon, in the pïssing rain:

http://sport.tv2.dk/cykling/2019-07-25- ... dsgraensen

bm5

Offredo made the basic error of failing to stop for a full photo session with ATC - the French really do need to update their training.

Lanterne_Rogue

BM5 wrote:

Offredo made the basic error of failing to stop for a full photo session with ATC - the French really do need to update their training.

You might have stumbled onto something here. Sagan is usually rubbish at the LR underall because of his inability to curb his instincts to join in the sprints. However he has proved that it's possible to sign autographs on the bike. How long before some enterprising rider stops to dash of a couple of sonnets, or possibly a brief epistolary novel? A brief period of writers block had got to be easily worth five minutes.

pinno

Ah but; i've not seen Offredo do wheelies over the finish line. Sagan spurned an opportunity for a unique double and for that i'm truly annoyed at him.
I think this will go down to the wire on the Champs ellie sees (as the 'Mericans say it).

Lanterne_Rogue

I think I'll wait a bit before trying to pick the bones out of today. I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I'm told the suggestion that there was an eye on preventing further damage to France's great hope for the most prestigious title in cycling is circulating on social media disgrace Twitter...

above_the_cows

Yes very disappointing from Offroado. He didn't even smile when I yelled Allez Yoyo at him. He must have been angry to be loosing time to Mørkøv on the stage.

Lanterne_Rogue

One of the joys of a stage where nobody knows when it finished, how it finished, or where it finished, is that despite being loose in the wilds of Devon I'm just as well informed as you lot. Possibly better, because I don't have the manic rumour mill giving me ill-founded updates every fifteen seconds.

Now, I don't want to start any rumours here, but were an influential committee of MPs determined to get their name in the papers to uncover that Wanty-Gobert recently received an Acme Hail-Mary Freak Weather Machine in an extremely large Jiffy bag, well, let's just say I wouldn't be surprised.

Movements on LR were understandably limited due to the freak circumstances of today's stage, so congratulations to Alex Dowsett and De Busker for a superb effort in somehow losing significant time on a stage that was supposedly neutralised and time intervals beyond the top ten apparently neutralised. I've no idea what Dowsett was doing back there - probably slipping back to ask for an off-key rendition of Streets of London - but it's propelled him into the top ten on LR.

One upshot of both today's stage and tomorrow's shortened parcours is that there's every possibility Offredo maintains his lead onto the Champs and there's the rare spectacle of a major title being determined in Paris.

White feather not awarded due to inclement weather. Feels wrong, somehow.

Weather Girls (Tour version):

No Rankings Available

Just about half past ten (Pro Cycling Stats):

DF JANSEN Amund Grøndahl Team Jumbo-Visma ,,
DF RICHEZE Maximiliano Deceuninck - Quick Step 25:51
DF LAMPAERT Yves Deceuninck - Quick Step 26:12
DF ARNDT Nikias Team Sunweb ,,
DF BOASSON HAGEN Edvald Team Dimension Data ,,
DF BAK Lars Ytting Team Dimension Data ,,
DF YATES Adam Mitchelton-Scott 26:24
DF KLUGE Roger Lotto Soudal ,,
DF DOWSETT Alex Team Katusha Alpecin 30:54
DF DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 34:15

First time in history:

146 147 ▲1 VAN MELSEN Kevin Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 3:48:54
147 149 ▲2 KLUGE Roger Lotto Soudal 3:50:33
148 151 ▲3 HALLER Marco Team Katusha Alpecin 3:50:34
149 150 ▲1 BAK Lars Ytting Team Dimension Data 3:51:14
150 144 ▼6 DOWSETT Alex Team Katusha Alpecin 3:53:15
151 152 ▲1 MONFORT Maxime Lotto Soudal 3:54:50
152 153 ▲1 MØRKØV Michael Deceuninck - Quick Step 3:59:00
153 154 ▲1 DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 4:08:34
154 155 ▲1 LANGEVELD Sebastian EF Education First 4:13:50
155 156 ▲1 OFFREDO Yoann Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 4:13:53

bm5

What a disastrous day. Poor Alex made a brave early move what seemed like 10metres from the neutral zone. My hopes were raised for a late victory
We need to get to the bottom of this conspiracy to stop any of my picks for the prize winning this.

specialgueststar

Absolutely unique and incredible stage. Offredo has blown it with a semi decent ride finishing with Nico Roche. Shipping -ve time all the way up the climb letting the 'im pulling a cricket roller' Langeveld in the back door. Very dramatic scenes.

above_the_cows

What was Offroado thinking!