The Lanterne Rouge Thread 2019 **Spoilers**

Lanterne_Rogue

Yeah, almost like he doesn't want to win it.

Some interesting names in that last list who are clearly being given some latitude to save energy, which is why I bothered sharing. Lots of sprinters, obviously, and Simon Yates stands out, but I suspect there might be some other pointers in there for people who are better at remembering what the heck all these riders do.

mididoctors

Surprise dark horse Simon Yates. Not usually considered a specialist at this discipline ,but his giro 2018 last gasp long range attack on stage 20 was notable so maybe he is developing as a lantern GC rider.

mididoctors

No tA Doctor wrote:

I'm shocked and appalled.

Top work from Tom Skins, the potato botherer and...err.... nudist?

He doesn't seem entirely confident in his ability though.

https://twitter.com/Tomashuuns/status/1 ... 8937229312

Controversy continues in the classification this year. Rumour has it he has been using performance enhancing out of date beetroot gels.

coopster_the_1st

mididoctors wrote:

Surprise dark horse Simon Yates. Not usually considered a specialist at this discipline ,but his giro 2018 last gasp long range attack on stage 20 was notable so maybe he is developing as a lantern GC rider.

Simon is saving his energy to be a mountain super domestique for Adam when the tour is in the high mountains. He'll drop out of this table in the last week if not before.

Lanterne_Rogue

Coopster the 1st wrote:

mididoctors wrote:

Surprise dark horse Simon Yates. Not usually considered a specialist at this discipline ,but his giro 2018 last gasp long range attack on stage 20 was notable so maybe he is developing as a lantern GC rider.

Simon is saving his energy to be a mountain super domestique for Adam when the tour is in the high mountains. He'll drop out of this table in the last week if not before.

Unless that's what Mitchelton-Scott want you to think...

I agree though - it's a flash in the pan. Hard to see anyone in serious LR contention not being in the autobus when it comes to the boring stuff.

blazing_saddles

A simply stellar performance by Tour debutante, Kasper Asgreen, to complete a Deceuninck - Quick Step clean sweep.
Managed to freefall 164 places and take a 20 second lead, which mean the Belgium outfit now bookend the general classification.

Edit: Mmmm just heard that he had a big crash. Not sure if that's allowed under competition rules.

No_Ta_Doctor

Blazing Saddles wrote:

A simply stellar performance by Tour debutante, Kasper Asgreen, to complete a Deceuninck - Quick Step clean sweep.
Managed to freefall 164 places and take a 20 second lead, which mean the Belgium outfit now bookend the general classification.

Edit: Mmmm just heard that he had a big crash. Not sure if that's allowed under competition rules.

I'm caught badly between "MyMan! Get In!" and "WTF? You just blew the fanstasy league white jersey pts I had on you"

Lanterne_Rogue

No tA Doctor wrote:

Blazing Saddles wrote:

A simply stellar performance by Tour debutante, Kasper Asgreen, to complete a Deceuninck - Quick Step clean sweep.
Managed to freefall 164 places and take a 20 second lead, which mean the Belgium outfit now bookend the general classification.

Edit: Mmmm just heard that he had a big crash. Not sure if that's allowed under competition rules.

I'm caught badly between "MyMan! Get In!" and "WTF? You just blew the fantasy league white jersey pts I had on you"

Can I please have the full cast list of the clown show you call your fantasy team and save myself three weeks of effort?

No_Ta_Doctor

underlayunderlay wrote:

No tA Doctor wrote:

Blazing Saddles wrote:

A simply stellar performance by Tour debutante, Kasper Asgreen, to complete a Deceuninck - Quick Step clean sweep.
Managed to freefall 164 places and take a 20 second lead, which mean the Belgium outfit now bookend the general classification.

Edit: Mmmm just heard that he had a big crash. Not sure if that's allowed under competition rules.

I'm caught badly between "MyMan! Get In!" and "WTF? You just blew the fantasy league white jersey pts I had on you"

Can I please have the full cast list of the clown show you call your fantasy team and save myself three weeks of effort?

No. It's embarrassing.
Though not nearly as embarrassing as everyone else's picks in my mates league. I'm bloody winning it.

I do advise keeping an eye out for Niki Terpstra though.

My man William Bonnet did pick me up some points though. Oh yes. In the TTT.
FDJ.
In the TTT.
FDJ.
French team.
In the TTT.

The game's gone, man.

No_Ta_Doctor

Oh and Asgreen is nailed on for the lanterne if they don't give him a new bike:

ContrelaMontre

Blazing Saddles wrote:

A simply stellar performance by Tour debutante, Kasper Asgreen, to complete a Deceuninck - Quick Step clean sweep.
Managed to freefall 164 places and take a 20 second lead, which mean the Belgium outfit now bookend the general classification.

Edit: Mmmm just heard that he had a big crash. Not sure if that's allowed under competition rules.

Quickstep going all biblical...
So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen

Pross

Brave move by Teunissen after the misfortune of finding himself unexpectedly at the wrong end of the race on Stage 1, having his so-called teammates dragging him to the wrong end again on Stage 2 and then having to be seen to be 'honouring' a minor jersey he managed to sneak off the back at the first opportunity and soft pedal his way towards the pointy end of the field. I think he's going to be working his way up the field from now on as long as the team gives him leeway to ride his own race. There'll no doubt be a few stages where he has to keep his friend Dylan company that will cost him time but he's my dark horse.

Pross

No tA Doctor wrote:

Oh and Asgreen is nailed on for the lanterne if they don't give him a new bike:

Nice to see Brompton finally making bikes for the pro peloton.

meursault

No tA Doctor wrote:

Oh and Asgreen is nailed on for the lanterne if they don't give him a new bike:

Some electrical tape, it'll be fine.

Lanterne_Rogue

Apologies for the slight delay but I'm working pro bono* so you can't ask for your money back - besides, this is the Lanterne Rouge thread...

Today's stage was always expected to shake up the LR as various DSs rounded up errant riders against a wall and shouted at them for a few hours before the stage, whilst other riders worked to undo the damage of the team time trial. The mere mention of contract season is enough to weaken, or strengthen, many riders who would otherwise look to take time; in severe cases team managers have been known to resort to coded threats such as leaving the roadbook for the "Gree-Tour of Guang-Xi" under a pillow. Only the true individuals are likely to have the mental toughness to start showing in week one (others tend to join the leaders via lucky circumstances such as broken limbs), and today was really the first opportunity to do so.

My early tip Stephane Risotto stirred himself to make the early move, following Grease's Wellen-Wellen-Wellens-HUH?** off the front as the first step in a textbook one-two front/back switcheroo that eventually saw him rise to fourth. The charge for the intermediate sprint at Dizzy-Le-Gros - fattest of the Yolkfolk and if not actually autistic, certainly on the Spectrum - saw a whole load of other riders drop off the back as the pace picked up. Finally Kasper Asgreen found the Q in Quick-Step to provide a secret weapon hidden in an otherwise ordinary bicycle and take an extraordinary twenty minutes-something in a single ride. Having seen the state of the bike afterwards though I'd be amazed if the colour were green.

Other familiar loafers*** to re-emerge at the back of today's stage include Steve O'Cummings, Maxi Richeze and Tom Scully; unfortunately Postlberger ended up in completely the wrong place (presumably marked as delivered by Yodel), yesterday's leader Skujins' love of potatoes clearly fried his brain, and Debusschere moved up by rolling in with the main group around 14 minutes down - late, but not late enough.

Join us tomorrow to see if Asgreen starts - there have been whispers of unusual betting patterns in the fantasy cycling markets...

Bianchi Celeste:

167 MAGNUS CORT NIELSEN 77 ASTANA PRO TEAM 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
168 AIME DE GENDT 193 WANTY - GOBERT CYCLING TEAM 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
169 MAXIMILIANO RICHEZE 27 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
170 STEPHEN CUMMINGS 203 TEAM DIMENSION DATA 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
171 AMUND JANSEN 85 TEAM JUMBO - VISMA 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
172 BENOIT COSNEFROY 33 AG2R LA MONDIALE 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
173 TOM SCULLY 96 EF EDUCATION FIRST 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
174 ROGER KLUGE 166 LOTTO SOUDAL 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
175 CEES BOL 143 TEAM SUNWEB 04H 54' 27'' + 00H 13' 58'' - -
176 KASPER ASGREEN 22 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05H 00' 55'' + 00H 20' 26'' - -

Daphne and Celeste:

167 161 ▼6 HEPBURN Michael Mitchelton-Scott 17:38
168 164 ▼4 GROENEWEGEN Dylan Team Jumbo-Visma 18:14
169 165 ▼4 MØRKØV Michael Deceuninck - Quick Step 18:15
170 167 ▼3 PAUWELS Serge CCC Team 18:31
171 168 ▼3 DE KORT Koen Trek - Segafredo 18:39
172 169 ▼3 GARCÍA CORTINA Iván Bahrain Merida 18:52
173 170 ▼3 ROSSETTO Stéphane Cofidis, Solutions Crédits 18:59
174 171 ▼3 LEDANOIS Kévin Team Arkéa Samsic 19:09
175 174 ▼1 DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 20:21
176 12 ▼164 ASGREEN Kasper Deceuninck - Quick Step 20:41



*Legal term; lit."close to the edge"
** Tell me more
*** The opposite of the rouleur, named ironically for their tendency to avoid pain

pinno

underlayunderlay wrote:

*** The opposite of the rouleur, named ironically for their tendency to avoid pain

May I suggest 'flâneur'? It has a certain panache.

Rouleur
Grimpeur...
Flâneur

Lanterne_Rogue

Pinno wrote:

underlayunderlay wrote:

*** The opposite of the rouleur, named ironically for their tendency to avoid pain

May I suggest 'flâneur'? It has a certain panache.

Naah, that's French for the clown on the tiny bike at the circus - the one with the custard pie...

ridgerider

Pross wrote:

Brave move by Teunissen after the misfortune of finding himself unexpectedly at the wrong end of the race on Stage 1, having his so-called teammates dragging him to the wrong end again on Stage 2 and then having to be seen to be 'honouring' a minor jersey he managed to sneak off the back at the first opportunity and soft pedal his way towards the pointy end of the field. I think he's going to be working his way up the field from now on as long as the team gives him leeway to ride his own race. There'll no doubt be a few stages where he has to keep his friend Dylan company that will cost him time but he's my dark horse.

The first rider to wear yellow and rouge in the same race???

pinno

underlayunderlay wrote:

Pinno wrote:

underlayunderlay wrote:

*** The opposite of the rouleur, named ironically for their tendency to avoid pain

May I suggest 'flâneur'? It has a certain panache.

Naah, that's French for the clown on the tiny bike at the circus - the one with the custard pie...

Like...Samuel Dumoulin?

Lanterne_Rogue

Away from the joking for a second, DQS have released an update on Asgreen - basically hit a roadsign in the final few km, finished the stage and went to hospital for checks - decision to be made tomorrow as to whether he continues. Hope he's okay after a night's rest.

https://www.deceuninck-quickstep.com/en/news/4022/kasper-asgreen-update

pinno

underlayunderlay wrote:

Away from the joking for a second, DQS have released an update on Asgreen - basically hit a roadsign in the final few km, finished the stage and went to hospital for checks - decision to be made tomorrow as to whether he continues. Hope he's okay after a night's rest.

https://www.deceuninck-quickstep.com/en/news/4022/kasper-asgreen-update

One second doesn't last long.
Look on the bright side: if he starts tomorrow, DS pressure is off (to allow him to recover) and then he can settle in at the right end of the peloton and push for LR victory in his debut tour.

Pross

Ridgerider wrote:

Pross wrote:

Brave move by Teunissen after the misfortune of finding himself unexpectedly at the wrong end of the race on Stage 1, having his so-called teammates dragging him to the wrong end again on Stage 2 and then having to be seen to be 'honouring' a minor jersey he managed to sneak off the back at the first opportunity and soft pedal his way towards the pointy end of the field. I think he's going to be working his way up the field from now on as long as the team gives him leeway to ride his own race. There'll no doubt be a few stages where he has to keep his friend Dylan company that will cost him time but he's my dark horse.

The first rider to wear yellow and rouge in the same race???

Wondered if that had been done before, thought it possibly had by a sprinter but Rich will no doubt confirm one way or the other.

RichN95.

Pross wrote:

Ridgerider wrote:

Pross wrote:

Brave move by Teunissen after the misfortune of finding himself unexpectedly at the wrong end of the race on Stage 1, having his so-called teammates dragging him to the wrong end again on Stage 2 and then having to be seen to be 'honouring' a minor jersey he managed to sneak off the back at the first opportunity and soft pedal his way towards the pointy end of the field. I think he's going to be working his way up the field from now on as long as the team gives him leeway to ride his own race. There'll no doubt be a few stages where he has to keep his friend Dylan company that will cost him time but he's my dark horse.

The first rider to wear yellow and rouge in the same race???

Wondered if that had been done before, thought it possibly had by a sprinter but Rich will no doubt confirm one way or the other.

Off the top of my head I think Jacky Durand may have done that. I'll check.

Edit: No, he didn't. I think he may the only Lanterne Rouge to wear yellow at any time.

No_Ta_Doctor

I'm fairly sure we have the yellow/red discussion every Tour lanterne thread. I now consider it part of the thread's charm. And no, I can't remember if we ever find an answer either.

Asgreen starts today, says the latest from QS.

He's been doing SMS interviews with DK TV2 throughout the tour, and gave us his side of the story of his argument with the tarmac.

He went back for bottles but hadn't chucked the empties yet. He slotted one in and carried another in his teeth. He found a family to chuck the empty to and was then looking down to put the full bottle in the cage when he was viciously assaulted by a road sign on a traffic island.

He claims it was a "schoolboy error", but cognoscenti of the lanterne will recognise it as a daring and innovative attack the likes of which we rarely see. In these days of conservative tactics it's refreshing to see a young fearless rider throw everything at it*.


He also looks like he's trying an even more novel trick today - riding in jeans and trainers. I'm not sure the UCI will aloow it though:
http://sport.tv2.dk/cykling/2019-07-09- ... ret-heldig







*"It" being a road sign on this occasion

Lanterne_Rogue

Everyone who goes clipless says roughly the same two things in the same order: "these are so much more efficient" and "can someone please help me up, I appear to have fallen over and can't free myself from this infernal contraption". On that basis it's debatable whether trainers are a marginal gain or not - no matter how hard these guys train I can't believe they wouldn't instinctively dab a foot down to prevent a tumble.

Got to applaud the dedication to obtaining every last scrap of aerodynamic drag though - should help the gap go quickly if there's echelons.

Lanterne_Rogue

Have realised we forgot to award the white feather for yesterday' conscientious objector, which was given to Tim Wellens for his effort to break away from his fellow escapees and give them a chance to turn to the team car and say "oh no, he worked me over so terribly, I'm shattered now" with an innocent face.

Happy to accept nominees from today's stage - the combativity prizes are traditionally a sop to public opinion.

Lanterne_Rogue

Today's stage from Reims to Nancy saw nothing but five hours of suffering. I know what you're saying though: enough about Eurosport viewers, what happened to the riders?

The headline is that today was an absolute disaster for riders in the top ten on LR. Forced onto punishment duty (eg sprinting, leading out sprinters, or listening to Eurosport's UK feed) the only survivors in today's underall rankings are Debusschere and yesterday's hero Kasper Asgreen, the latter suffering a damaging jour avec after the commissaires ruled his innovative new frame design illegal.

The expectation of a sprint opened up an obvious opportunity for riders to work the traditional one-two hokey cokey* and the predictable break duly went away with one rider from enthusiastic Spaniards Si Si Si accompanied by 10p Offredo and the man commentators are apparently legally required to refer to as "part time farmer Frederik Backaert" in a rare Wanty-Q*Bert double-attack. Behind them Tony Martin worked alone to hold the mighty 32kph pace and prevent the break from going out any further - a state of affairs that suggests some collusion amongst both parties.

Regrettably the sprinters got all enthusiastic about the indeterminate sprint, which may or may not have produced a winner, and then everyone got really overheated at the prospect of earning a whole mountain point. Bizarrely the unidentified CCC rider chose to attack at this point, which was Schär lunacy if you ask me - it allowed Offredo and Backaert the chance to slip off unnoticed and when the peloton caught up he failed to notice that they weren't there.

Offredo and Backaert then teamed up with Tony Martin, presumably shouting "NO COLLUSION!" to remind us that there was absolutely nothing going on here, no sirree, to amble on home, with Offredo sealing today's white feather for non-combativity by sitting up in the reverse sprint to gather another handful of seconds and draw level with his teammate. Schär finished last of the fractured main bunch, presumably congratulating himself whilst being unaware of the trio behind and providing a welcome reminder of the dangers of showboating.

With the wholesale clearout of the sprinters' entourage big movers include Tony Gallopin, who went trotting off over a field, Postlberger sending himself back into contention, Hanging Chad returning and Scully continuing to moulder quietly, at least until Cerys Matthews opens her lungs.

I neither know nor care what's happening at the other end of the race (I presume Froome's not making much effort so far?) but the Lanterne is so far shaping up nicely with a variety of riders swapping the lead. I don't want to put Lawson Craddock's magnificent dominance down but it's a lot more fun without an obvious runaway leader. Interestingly I think Craddock only had 22'14" by this point - something that shows the quality on offer this year given that none of these riders are nursing a major injury.

Ooh, stick you:

167 YVES LAMPAERT 24 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05H 15' 37'' + 00H 06' 17'' - -
168 MATTHIEU LADAGNOUS 55 GROUPAMA - FDJ 05H 15' 37'' + 00H 06' 17'' - -
169 TOM SCULLY 96 EF EDUCATION FIRST 05H 15' 37'' + 00H 06' 17'' - -
170 LUKAS PÖSTLBERGER 17 BORA - HANSGROHE 05H 15' 37'' + 00H 06' 17'' - -
171 CHAD HAGA 144 TEAM SUNWEB 05H 15' 37'' + 00H 06' 17'' - -
172 TONY GALLOPIN 35 AG2R LA MONDIALE 05H 15' 37'' + 00H 06' 17'' - -
173 MICHAEL SCHÄR 117 CCC TEAM 05H 15' 37'' + 00H 06' 17'' - -
174 FREDERIK BACKAERT 192 WANTY - GOBERT CYCLING TEAM 05H 18' 10'' + 00H 08' 50'' - -
175 TONY MARTIN 86 TEAM JUMBO - VISMA 05H 18' 10'' + 00H 08' 50'' - -
176 YOANN OFFREDO 196 WANTY - GOBERT CYCLING TEAM 05H 18' 16'' + 00H 08' 56'' - -

Your mama too:

167 175 ▲8 DEBUSSCHERE Jens Team Katusha Alpecin 20:57
168 135 ▼33 SCULLY Tom EF Education First 21:31
169 145 ▼24 SCHÄR Michael CCC Team 22:09
170 148 ▼22 PÖSTLBERGER Lukas BORA - hansgrohe 22:23
171 176 ▲5 ASGREEN Kasper Deceuninck - Quick Step 22:26
172 114 ▼58 MARTIN Tony Team Jumbo-Visma 22:42
173 156 ▼17 HAGA Chad Team Sunweb 22:53
174 159 ▼15 LADAGNOUS Matthieu Groupama - FDJ 22:55
175 146 ▼29 OFFREDO Yoann Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team 24:49
176 147 ▼29 BACKAERT Frederik Wanty - Gobert Cycling Team ,,

*Hokey, anyway. There's been less of the cokey since Boonen retired.

No_Ta_Doctor

There's another Dane to put on your radar, folks.

Magnus Cort broke his little finger today. He finished with the bunch, but there could well be some pretending not to be able to hold the bars well enough to stand on his peddles in tomorrows lumps.

He's 8'30" ahead of the pace, but a couple of good days could see him drop into contention.

No_Ta_Doctor

White Feather nominee from me: Calamity Jane. Attacking the entire peloton with 11km to go allowed him to appease his DS while eventually being able to ship 02' 08''. While it only just squeezes in to the bottom 20 for the stage, the ability to find time when under DS's orders deserves reward.

Lanterne_Rogue

No tA Doctor wrote:

White Feather nominee from me: Calamity Jane. Attacking the entire peloton with 11km to go allowed him to appease his DS while eventually being able to ship 02' 08''. While it only just squeezes in to the bottom 20 for the stage, the ability to find time when under DS's orders deserves reward.

Okay, from tomorrow I'm opening these up properly. Also you missed the obvious whipcrack & away gag...

Edit: Don't tell me, you're saving it for stage 17, which is the last chance for riders on teams with no other prospects to do something. Or the Deadwood Stage, as it's otherwise known.