The Lanterne Rouge Thread 2019 **Spoilers**

Lanterne_Rogue
Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,281
edited July 2019 in Pro race
And the Lord spake thusly:

"The last amongst you shall be called Lanterne Rouge, and his descendants shall honour the tour always, yea, even unto Craddock, for they shall be accorded victors."

And the walls of the asylum did echo with laughter, for the people there said "Ho ho ho, there's one that Team Sky won't win."

And the Lord was exceeding wrath with their mockery, and did smite down Luke Rowe and make him cycle exceedingly slow. And there was much wailing in the asylum, for they had convinced themselves that Sky did things in a jiffy and not slowly at all, and this was very much not fair. And then their mother turned the internet off because it was bedtime, and the asylum fell quiet, and there was much rejoicing.

- Procycling Numbers 07:2017

Are we sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin.

Yes, it's the most eagerly awaited thread of the ye- mo- thirty seconds it takes me to toss this nonsense off. For those who don't know, the Lanterne Rouge is traditionally awarded to the rider who occupies last place in the Tour de France and this thread is either the place to follow their (lack of) progress across the Tour or just somewhere for me to rehash the same old jokes and hope everyone's too kind to mention it*.

The joy of the Lanterne is of course the stories that go with it. The suffering**. The insanity***. The names you've never previously heard of****. Last year Lawson Craddock led from start to finish in a spectacular display of screaming "faaaaarrrkk!" every time he had to brake. This could have rendered everything terribly boring, except for the poor sod right in front expecting Craddock to pile through him on every corner, but Craddock turned his situation to somebody else's advantage and raised $200k for his local velodrome. Presumably for extra padding and crash mats so that he had somewhere safe to cycle for the next year or so.

So far there have been signs that the Lanterne will be unusually fiercely competed. Chris Froome and Tom Dumoulin have already put themselves out of contention by practising their crashing just a little too enthusiastically and Geraint Thomas has shown his natural ability as he attempts to assume leadership of Team Ineos.

Elsewhere Dimension Data have named everyone's favourite loafer Steve Cummings to take control of the rear of the peloton (go on, DD, name him leader again so nobody has to go back that far for bidons, I dare you), Movistar are again trying their infamous nine leader policy (in an eight man team, natch), and maybe Richie Porte can take glory after being shown la door by enthusiastic Spaniards Si Si Si. The only fly in the ointment is that EF Education First have taken my tactical advice to leave Craddock behind in entirely the wrong way. Bugger.

There's also the annual disgrace that is La Course (the riders make the best of it, and last year's finish was superb, but...), and if the organisers care to tell us what ludicrous decisions they've made to try and hide it this year then we'll also report on the winners there - I've heard rumours of a semi-crit course, so LR contenders may have to judge their effort carefully lest they get lapped and removed from the field.

Finally, to whet your appetite, here's the traditional links to previous editions on my glamorous assistant's laser display board:



*Or too bored to read. You think I do this for your amusement?
** Carlton Kirby's commentary
*** Kirby
****Still Kirby. I mean, you
have heard the names, but not like this you haven't.
******* Bonus misplaced footnote. You know who you are.
«13456

Comments

  • bm5
    bm5 Posts: 543
    Great start to the highlight of the tour coverage.
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    *** Twirls sequinned dress ***

    With no more ado, let the speculation begin!

    The Anglophones* have been strong in recent years, with Craddock, Rowe, Tuft, Bennet all winners in the last six editions. Will another step forward this year?

    Will Craddock's social media exploding coverage convince others it's a goal worth pursuing? Will someone catch a virus and go viral?









    *For a broad value of Anglophone. Clearly none of the above speak proper English.
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  • Can I just make the point that in the best years we should be looking at - 5.00.00 on GC The last two years have been relatively poor at -4.35.52 (2017) and unbelievably just a minute down on that at -4.34.19(2018)

    Sam Bennets fantastic 2016 effort of -5.17.14 was one of the modern classics

    but Ji Chengs 2014 - 6 hours 02 minutes and 24 seconds can only be described as the best display of red lamping we are likely to see in the modern era - and even better that it came after a string of 'not really trying' sub 4 hours
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    Can I just make the point that in the best years we should be looking at - 5.00.00 on GC The last two years have been relatively poor at -4.35.52 (2017) and unbelievably just a minute down on that at -4.34.19(2018)

    Sam Bennets fantastic 2016 effort of -5.17.14 was one of the modern classics

    but Ji Chengs 2014 - 6 hours 02 minutes and 24 seconds can only be described as the best display of red lamping we are likely to see in the modern era - and even better that it came after a string of 'not really trying' sub 4 hours

    Not to mention that he gained most of that time in the last few kms of sprint stages, having dragged the peloton back to the break single-handedly.
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  • ShutupJens
    ShutupJens Posts: 1,373
    Can I just make the point that in the best years we should be looking at - 5.00.00 on GC The last two years have been relatively poor at -4.35.52 (2017) and unbelievably just a minute down on that at -4.34.19(2018)

    Sam Bennets fantastic 2016 effort of -5.17.14 was one of the modern classics

    but Ji Chengs 2014 - 6 hours 02 minutes and 24 seconds can only be described as the best display of red lamping we are likely to see in the modern era - and even better that it came after a string of 'not really trying' sub 4 hours

    Not to mention that he gained most of that time in the last few kms of sprint stages, having dragged the peloton back to the break single-handedly.

    Such a dominant performance that he even broke away solo on the Champs Elysees I believe
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    Right then, anyone got a favourite?

    I'm going to tip Dimension Data to pull something off. Reinardt Janse van Rensburg is the man to do it.
    Lar Sytting Bak has probably missed his big chance in 2017 (2nd place finish)
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  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,281
    Dunno why, but I never really warmed to Cheng. It was a bit like your sibling making you play on endlessly at Monopoly despite (or rather because) you were being ground into the dust - just endless, pointless waiting for them to finally finish. Bet Cheng's competitors never had the consolation of seeing him taken to A&E to have the little boot removed either.

    Anyway, here's a few early favourites for this year:

    Jasper De Buyst - fourth last year, and the highest placed rider to make this year's start list, De Buyst recently placed fourth on GC at the possibly fictional ZLM tour (ZLM isn't down on any map; but then true places never are) and therefore arrives in Brussels already completely worn out. Might be aided by an existential crisis over whether a stage of a French race starting in Brussels means wearing the Belgian-only Lotto Soudal jersey or the away-kit Soudal Lotto one.

    Luke Rowe - Team Ineos' great hope and the 2017 winner, the grizzled road captain is already a legend amongst the LR cogniscenti. Will be bolstered by having to work for not one but two leaders, and comes into the race on the back of a strong showing in the Tour de Suisse (113 of 114).

    Maximiliano Richeze - another regular lurker at the bottom of the timesheets (114th at the Tour de Suisse, just behind, or in front of - this quickly gets difficult - Luke Rowe) despite being nominally part of a lead-out train for Ella Viviani, who has again decided to strike a blow for equality by ignoring the chance to tear up the Giro Rosa and instead play with the boys. This ability to shed time in just a handful of miles before the finish line bodes well in a tour where the mountains are likely to force an early autobus and little time being taken in the hills.

    William Bonnet - Billy Bonnet comes into the race as the lowest ranked rider on Procycling Stats, and although his recent DNF in the French Nats raises questions about his stamina, his second-last at the Dauphine suggests that he may well have what it takes to end France's long wait for a true champion.

    Tom Scully - Selected ahead of Lawson Craddock, I remember Scully putting in a few decent showings last year before starting to moulder up the rankings. If EF Education First decide to go for the LR this year Scully may well be their man.

    Fabio Felline - Italian for "Top Cat", Felline tops out PCS's rankings by previous results - apparently having achieved 1020th place in a race that has at most 200 riders. As far as I can work out the only way to achieve this is to cycle around France so slowly that you get overtaken by the next five year's races before finishing on the Champs Elysee. Felline will be working for Richie Porte, which is usually good for an extended ride back at the team cars and frequently an utterly pointless third week in which sheer ennui and disgust at the futility of it all causes an outbreak of black eyeliner, listening to Fall Out Boy, and slipping off the back in the mountains because nobody understands you.

    Dan Martin - I'm not saying he's looking slow this year, but checking my watch I see he's just about due to realise what he said at the team presentation this afternoon.
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    Jesus, I think I picked Bonnet as a random place-filler in a fantasy league (aimed at the other end of the race, not the proper lanterne racing).

    I'm screwed, aren't I?
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  • Best thread of the year :mrgreen:
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,281
    Jesus, I think I picked Bonnet as a random place-filler in a fantasy league (aimed at the other end of the race, not the proper lanterne racing).

    I'm screwed, aren't I?

    Nah, he's a solid pick, having won a stage of Paris-Nice.

    Nine years ago.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,818
    I am totally gutted that Monsieur Le Gac hasn't made the start list.
    His previous antics have been memorable, especially when he decided to pedal a little faster, collect more sticky bottles etc and went the wrong way down the leader board right when things were looking good. Nonetheless, my preferred contender has obviously decided that 3 weeks of dicing with elimination times and resultant discourse with commisaires, would have resulted in very sore shoulders from the inordinate numbers of Gallic shrugs.

    After some considerable time and research, I have decided that the obvious replacement for Le LR title is a Monsieur Alexis Gougeard. I made my considered choice on the basis that he has a sir name beginning with the letter G, same as Le Gac (sort of).

    Point of note:
    I thought that last year there was a ruling over the number of asterisks one could deploy.
    Has the limit been abandoned in the light of a possible EU Brexit and therefore no European Court consequence?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 42,383
    Rowe made a brave early break using the cobbles in his bid to regain the illustrious title. Managed to open up an 80 second lead on most at one point but the peloton weren't standing for it and wound the pace right down to eliminate his lead. Showing promise for the days ahead though.
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,281
    As the good old golden syrup tin nearly put it: "out of the tour came forth chaos", and it was certainly a sticky situation for those riders who went A over T in today's run in. All in vain unfortunately as it was within the last 3km so they didn't lose any time - the best they can hope for is a note from their Mum excusing them from keeping up in the team time trial tomorrow because they're feeling a bit poorly.

    The crash at the end also meant a lot of riders who had sloped off the back being caught up and given the same time rather than being able to open the time gaps their 'efforts' deserved, and it also meant that we failed to see how anyone actually lost time other than Stephane Rossetto, who executed a classic off the front / off the back DS appeasement one-two to win today's conscientious objector prize*. Rossetto is a bit of a dark horse for the LR - Inrng reports that he broke his pelvis in three places following an altercation with a cat, cycled home and then used a stepladder to limp to hospital A&E in tribute to Rotherham's finest the Chuckle Brothers. That sort of perseverance, bad luck and lunacy in the face of serious injury is exactly what the LR demands and I'm now expecting great things.

    Elsewhere I embarrassed myself by making an accurate prediction about the actual racing (I was as shocked as anyone and can promise it won't happen again), Dylan went elastic and bounced down the road and Geraint Thomas showed he'd lost none of his form by falling off in response. Thomas doesn't appear to be favoured by Team Ineos though - despite early excitement about Luke Rowe it appears Castroviejo is this year's chosen leader, unless he was told to take it easy ahead of tomorrows TTT - he came in with a small group that also contained Gesbert and Dries Devenyns (wonder if he also does dishes?). The outright Lanterne Rouge lead however went to Postlberger, who sounds like one of those foodstuffs you order drunk on eBay, turning up to mystify you three days later.

    Join us tomorrow to see what disorder the team time trial wreaks.

    Two becomes one:

    167 GEORGE BENNETT 82 TEAM JUMBO - VISMA 04H 22' 47'' + 00H 00' 10'' - -
    168 EMANUEL BUCHMANN 12 BORA - HANSGROHE 04H 22' 47'' + 00H 00' 10'' - -
    169 DYLAN GROENEWEGEN 84 TEAM JUMBO - VISMA 04H 22' 47'' + 00H 00' 10'' - -
    170 BENOIT COSNEFROY 33 AG2R LA MONDIALE 04H 22' 47'' + 00H 00' 10'' - -
    171 STÉPHANE ROSSETTO 157 COFIDIS, SOLUTIONS CREDITS 04H 25' 53'' + 00H 03' 16'' - -
    172 TOMS SKUJINS 137 TREK - SEGAFREDO 04H 26' 19'' + 00H 03' 42'' - -
    173 ELIE GESBERT 214 TEAM ARKEA - SAMSIC 04H 26' 58'' + 00H 04' 21'' - -
    174 DRIES DEVENYNS 23 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04H 26' 58'' + 00H 04' 21'' - -
    175 JONATHAN CASTROVIEJO 3 TEAM INEOS 04H 26' 58'' + 00H 04' 21'' - -
    176 LUKAS PÖSTLBERGER 17 BORA - HANSGROHE 04H 27' 23'' + 00H 04' 46'' - -

    *It's like a combativity prize, but, well, you get the idea.
  • RichN95.
    RichN95. Posts: 27,219
    Dylan went elastic
    Judas!
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • mididoctors
    mididoctors Posts: 18,418
    Postelburger literally stopped. Is that cheating?
    "If I was a 38 year old man, I definitely wouldn't be riding a bright yellow bike with Hello Kitty disc wheels, put it that way. What we're witnessing here is the world's most high profile mid-life crisis" Afx237vi Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:43 pm
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,281
    Postelburger literally stopped. Is that cheating?

    Marginal gains, presumably. Sending himself second class was the work of a genius though.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,818
    It's a good tactic to be off the back, way off: a km or so. Then there's little chance of getting mixed up in a crash and plenty of braking distance too.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • mididoctors
    mididoctors Posts: 18,418
    UCI should look at making that tactic illegal ..or maybe ASO should look to redesigning the parcours to discourage these team controlling tactics. Accelerating the entire bunch to 77kmh by Bora then having their leader then brake to a standstill. Surely the best example of why radios should be banned? This sort of co ordinated behaviour is stifling the spectacle
    "If I was a 38 year old man, I definitely wouldn't be riding a bright yellow bike with Hello Kitty disc wheels, put it that way. What we're witnessing here is the world's most high profile mid-life crisis" Afx237vi Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:43 pm
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 26,533
    Pinno wrote:
    It's a good tactic to be off the back, way off: a km or so. Then there's little chance of getting mixed up in a crash and plenty of braking distance too.
    That would most likely be my tactic. :wink:
    If I raced...And not necessarily through choice. :lol:
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,818
    UCI should look at making that tactic illegal ..or maybe ASO should look to redesigning the parcours to discourage these team controlling tactics. Accelerating the entire bunch to 77kmh by Bora then having their leader then brake to a standstill. Surely the best example of why radios should be banned? This sort of co ordinated behaviour is stifling the spectacle

    The really classy riders (Ge Lac, Crawson Laddock etc), don't need race radio anyway, they run on gut instinct.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • That 3 km rule has really pissed on the chips
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    There should really be a slow lane, clearly marked, for these big sprint finishes. It would be safer than having riders drifting back through a bunch that are doing 70km/h and enable those watching the main lanterne competition to easily see who was attacking at 70mm/h. The penalty for stopping in the slow lane should be getting the same time as the winner.
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  • There should really be a slow lane, clearly marked, for these big sprint finishes. It would be safer than having riders drifting back through a bunch that are doing 70km/h and enable those watching the main lanterne competition to easily see who was attacking at 70mm/h. The penalty for stopping in the slow lane should be getting the same time as the winner.

    You can clearly see on the overhead that the big crash late on was the knock on effects of a Quickstep rider drifting back through the bunch.
  • mididoctors
    mididoctors Posts: 18,418
    Pinno wrote:

    The really classy riders (Ge Lac, Crawson Laddock etc), don't need race radio anyway, they run on gut instinct.

    Even in this modern era there are still riders with panache
    "If I was a 38 year old man, I definitely wouldn't be riding a bright yellow bike with Hello Kitty disc wheels, put it that way. What we're witnessing here is the world's most high profile mid-life crisis" Afx237vi Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:43 pm
  • above_the_cows
    above_the_cows Posts: 11,406
    PBlakeney wrote:
    Pinno wrote:
    It's a good tactic to be off the back, way off: a km or so. Then there's little chance of getting mixed up in a crash and plenty of braking distance too.
    That would most likely be my tactic. :wink:
    If I raced...And not necessarily through choice. :lol:

    The mullet approach.

    BfEjZWD.jpg
    Correlation is not causation.
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    Pinno wrote:

    The really classy riders (Ge Lac, Crawson Laddock etc), don't need race radio anyway, they run on gut instinct.

    Even in this modern era there are still riders with panache

    It's well known that the greatest lanterne riders prefer to ride without the radio, and even unplug it, to better allow them to concentrate on the race without the disturbance of their DS.
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  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,818
    Pinno wrote:

    The really classy riders (Ge Lac, Crawson Laddock etc), don't need race radio anyway, they run on gut instinct.

    Even in this modern era there are still riders with panache

    It's well known that the greatest lanterne riders prefer to ride without the radio, and even unplug it, to better allow them to concentrate on the race without the disturbance of their DS.

    The last thing you need is the DS shouting 'pedal faster' when you're already trying your best to not get run down by the broom wagon.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    wrong thread
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  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,281
    The Lanterne Rouge has led me down many dark, terrible corridors, but never have things been quite as bad as this. For the first time in my career I'm ashamed to admit that I've been forced to dabble in journalism. I've let my family down, my friends down, and above all I've let my loyal readers down. Both of you. This outbreak of misguided professionalism will not happen again, I promise.

    The reason for this distressing increase in standards is because the Tour de France, for reasons known only to itself, has decided to keep the individual results from today's team time trial a secret - presumably to preserve the fiction that Dimension Data are actually a team and not just seven people cycling in loose formation with Steve Cummings. I've therefore had to do a whole load of research and poking of Excel in order to uncover the picture of today's stage that the man didn't want you to see (I've also removed all the Masonic numberology, because I think the nurses are on to me).

    Anyway, today's stage to David Guetta's Atomium saw plenty of teams shedding riders to fight for the lanterne rouge, and ironically the 'team' time trial has introduced more time gaps than Stage One did - which will no doubt lead to some interesting conversations in the hotel tonight.

    The conscientious objector prize today goes to stage winner Debusschere, who was the only rider from Katusha to escape the notice of his DS and somehow found six minutes on his team mates. Surely he must also have been flirting with elimination. Four other riders managed to break the four minute barrier to their team, amongst them Groaningwagon who was determined to take the time the commissaires had so cruelly denied him the day before. In the overall Tom Skujins has emerged to vex my spellchecker; Postlberger slips to fourth.


    Here's the numbers, including a WORLD EXCLUSIVE list of everyone who managed to drop off their team so you can all pick the bones out. I have a horrible feeling that someone is about to point out I've made a very bad miscalculation...

    Wannabes (time gained + broken down to reveal gap to team):

    Rider…..............................Team…..............Time Gained…..........Team Time….........Individual time behind team
     DEBUSSCHERE Jens….......Team Katusha Alpecin……..........06:29….....00:26….....06:03
     LEDANOIS Kévin….........Team Arkéa Samsic…..……..........05:17….....01:51….....03:26
     GARCÍA CORTINA Iván…....Bahrain Merida….....……..........05:00….....00:36….....04:24
     DE KORT Koen…...........Trek - Segafredo…...……..........04:47….....01:18….....03:29
     PAUWELS Serge…..........CCC Team…...........……..........04:39….....00:31….....04:08
     MØRKØV Michael….........Deceuninck - Quick S……..........04:23….....00:21….....04:02
     GROENEWEGEN Dylan…......Team Jumbo-Visma…...……..........04:22….....00:00….....04:22
     SKUJIŅŠ Toms…...........Trek - Segafredo…...……..........04:14….....01:18….....02:56
     KEUKELEIRE Jens…........Lotto Soudal….......……..........03:47….....00:59….....02:48
     HEPBURN Michael…........Mitchelton-Scott…...……..........03:46….....00:41….....03:05


    Wannadies:

    167 SERGE PAUWELS 115 CCC TEAM 04H 56' 23'' + 00H 04' 49'' - -
    168 KOEN DE KORT 134 TREK - SEGAFREDO 04H 56' 31'' + 00H 04' 57'' - -
    169 IVAN GARCIA CORTINA 45 BAHRAIN - MERIDA 04H 56' 44'' + 00H 05' 10'' - -
    170 STÉPHANE ROSSETTO 157 COFIDIS, SOLUTIONS CREDITS 04H 56' 51'' + 00H 05' 17'' - -
    171 KEVIN LEDANOIS 216 TEAM ARKEA - SAMSIC 04H 57' 01'' + 00H 05' 27'' - -
    172 DRIES DEVENYNS 23 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04H 57' 05'' + 00H 05' 31'' - -
    173 LUKAS PÖSTLBERGER 17 BORA - HANSGROHE 04H 57' 35'' + 00H 06' 01'' - -
    174 JENS DEBUSSCHERE 182 TEAM KATUSHA ALPECIN 04H 58' 13'' + 00H 06' 39'' - -
    175 ELIE GESBERT 214 TEAM ARKEA - SAMSIC 04H 58' 56'' + 00H 07' 22'' - -
    176 TOMS SKUJINS 137 TREK - SEGAFREDO 04H 59' 20'' + 00H 07' 46'' - -


    Full roll of honour- WORLD EXCLUSIVE (because nobody else cares):

    Rider…..............................Team…..............Time Taken…..........Team Time….........Individual time behind team
     DEBUSSCHERE Jens….......Team Katusha Alpecin……..........06:29….....00:26….....06:03
     GARCÍA CORTINA Iván…....Bahrain Merida….....……..........05:00….....00:36….....04:24
     GROENEWEGEN Dylan…......Team Jumbo-Visma…...……..........04:22….....00:00….....04:22
     PAUWELS Serge…..........CCC Team…...........……..........04:39….....00:31….....04:08
     MØRKØV Michael….........Deceuninck - Quick S……..........04:23….....00:21….....04:02
     DE KORT Koen…...........Trek - Segafredo…...……..........04:47….....01:18….....03:29
     LEDANOIS Kévin….........Team Arkéa Samsic…..……..........05:17….....01:51….....03:26
     JANSEN Amund Grøndahl…..Team Jumbo-Visma…...……..........03:10….....00:00….....03:10
     HEPBURN Michael…........Mitchelton-Scott…...……..........03:46….....00:41….....03:05
     YATES Simon…............Mitchelton-Scott…...……..........03:46….....00:41….....03:05
     RICHEZE Maximiliano…....Deceuninck - Quick S……..........03:26….....00:21….....03:05
     SKUJIŅŠ Toms…...........Trek - Segafredo…...……..........04:14….....01:18….....02:56
     KEUKELEIRE Jens…........Lotto Soudal….......……..........03:47….....00:59….....02:48
     JUUL-JENSEN Christopher…Mitchelton-Scott…...……..........03:15….....00:41….....02:34
     HAGA Chad…..............Team Sunweb…........……..........02:44….....00:26….....02:18
     LADAGNOUS Matthieu….....Groupama - FDJ….....……..........02:46….....00:32….....02:14
     BOL Cees…...............Team Sunweb…........……..........02:40….....00:26….....02:14
     BONNET William….........Groupama - FDJ….....……..........02:45….....00:32….....02:13
     DE GENDT Thomas…........Lotto Soudal….......……..........03:07….....00:59….....02:08
     EWAN Caleb….............Lotto Soudal….......……..........03:05….....00:59….....02:06
     WIŚNIOWSKI Łukasz…......CCC Team…...........……..........02:32….....00:31….....02:01
     VERONA Carlos…..........Movistar Team…......……..........03:03….....01:05….....01:58
     DE PLUS Laurens…........Team Jumbo-Visma…...……..........01:45….....00:00….....01:45
     SCHÄR Michael…..........CCC Team…...........……..........02:00….....00:31….....01:29
     ROWE Luke…..............Team INEOS….........……..........01:48….....00:20….....01:28
     BURGHARDT Marcus….......BORA - hansgrohe…...……..........02:08….....00:40….....01:28
     CLARKE Simon…...........EF Education First….……..........01:52….....00:28….....01:24
     GESBERT Élie…...........Team Arkéa Samsic…..……..........03:11….....01:51….....01:20
     ROSSETTO Stéphane…......Cofidis, Solutions C……..........02:11….....00:53….....01:18
     ERVITI Imanol…..........Movistar Team…......……..........02:19….....01:05….....01:14
     GREIPEL André…..........Team Arkéa Samsic…..……..........03:01….....01:51….....01:10
     MONFORT Maxime….........Lotto Soudal….......……..........02:03….....00:59….....01:04
     GRELLIER Fabien…........Team Total Direct En……..........02:45….....01:42….....01:03
     DEVENYNS Dries….........Deceuninck - Quick S……..........01:20….....00:21….....00:59
     HALLER Marco…...........Team Katusha Alpecin……..........01:24….....00:26….....00:58
     ARNDT Nikias…...........Team Sunweb…........……..........01:22….....00:26….....00:56
     SCULLY Tom….............EF Education First….……..........01:22….....00:28….....00:54
     POELS Wout….............Team INEOS….........……..........01:07….....00:20….....00:47
     CHEREL Mickaël….........AG2R La Mondiale…...……..........02:05….....01:19….....00:46
     VUILLERMOZ Alexis…......AG2R La Mondiale…...……..........02:05….....01:19….....00:46
     PÖSTLBERGER Lukas…......BORA - hansgrohe…...……..........01:25….....00:40….....00:45
     DELAPLACE Anthony…......Team Arkéa Samsic…..……..........02:34….....01:51….....00:43
     BONIFAZIO Niccolò…......Team Total Direct En……..........02:24….....01:42….....00:42
     DE GENDT Aimé…..........Wanty - Gobert Cycli……..........02:39….....01:58….....00:41
     BERHANE Natnael…........Cofidis, Solutions C……..........01:30….....00:53….....00:37
     JANSE VAN RENSBURG ReinaTeam Dimension Data………..........01:29….....00:54….....00:35
     KWIATKOWSKI Michał….....Team INEOS….........……..........00:53….....00:20….....00:33
     ROUX Anthony…...........Groupama - FDJ….....……..........01:00….....00:32….....00:28
     HAIG Jack…..............Mitchelton-Scott…...……..........01:04….....00:41….....00:23
     VAN MELSEN Kevin….......Wanty - Gobert Cycli……..........02:18….....01:58….....00:20
     TURGIS Anthony….........Team Total Direct En……..........01:59….....01:42….....00:17
     NAESEN Oliver…..........AG2R La Mondiale…...……..........01:36….....01:19….....00:17
     OSS Daniel….............BORA - hansgrohe…...……..........00:53….....00:40….....00:13
     TEUNS Dylan…............Bahrain Merida….....……..........00:49….....00:36….....00:13
     CASTROVIEJO Jonathan…...Team INEOS….........……..........00:30….....00:20….....00:10
     IZAGIRRE Gorka….........Astana Pro Team…....……..........00:50….....00:41….....00:09
     ROCHE Nicolas…..........Team Sunweb…........……..........00:35….....00:26….....00:09
     BACKAERT Frederik…......Wanty - Gobert Cycli……..........02:07….....01:58….....00:09
     VALGREN Michael…........Team Dimension Data………..........01:02….....00:54….....00:08
     BAK Lars Ytting…........Team Dimension Data………..........01:02….....00:54….....00:08
     KONRAD Patrick….........BORA - hansgrohe…...……..........00:46….....00:40….....00:06
     SCHACHMANN Maximilian…..BORA - hansgrohe…...……..........00:46….....00:40….....00:06
     MÜHLBERGER Gregor…......BORA - hansgrohe…...……..........00:46….....00:40….....00:06
     BUCHMANN Emanuel….......BORA - hansgrohe…...……..........00:46….....00:40….....00:06
     DE MARCHI Alessandro…...CCC Team…...........……..........00:36….....00:31….....00:05
     PÉRICHON Pierre-Luc…....Cofidis, Solutions C……..........00:57….....00:53….....00:04
     GONÇALVES José….........Team Katusha Alpecin……..........00:30….....00:26….....00:04
     LANGEVELD Sebastian…....EF Education First….……..........00:31….....00:28….....00:03
     OFFREDO Yoann…..........Wanty - Gobert Cycli……..........02:01….....01:58….....00:03
     LAMPAERT Yves…..........Deceuninck - Quick S……..........00:23….....00:21….....00:02
     LUTSENKO Alexey…........Astana Pro Team…....……..........00:42….....00:41….....00:01
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,218
    I'm shocked and appalled.

    Top work from Tom Skins, the potato botherer and...err.... nudist?

    He doesn't seem entirely confident in his ability though.

    https://twitter.com/Tomashuuns/status/1 ... 8937229312
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